


Strangers

by do_hickey



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Drunk Texting, F/F, Sexting, Smut, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 172,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3691662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/do_hickey/pseuds/do_hickey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura's busy at a business dinner with her dad when she receives a text from a stranger. a very drunk and horny stranger called Carmilla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dinner Time

**Author's Note:**

> i was supposed to be doing home work but PFFF who am i kidding!
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)

You were getting dressed to go to an important dinner with some business men for your dad’s job. You hate these things but you have to go. Your dad says you need to get to know the business world for when you take over the business or run your own. After insisting over and over you finally said you’d go. The dinner was at this fancy new restaurant that’s well know up town. You think it’s italian or something cause all you’ve read from it online is that it has great pasta and bread sticks. What you were really looking for was the desserts but you couldn’t find anything by the time your dad interrupted you to use the computer for an important skype call. So here you are, dressed in a tight green dress with heels and make up and you feel so uncomfortable with the whole heels thing. It’s not really your style. Not unless you’re trying to seem taller to impress a date or something but you haven’t worn them in a while. Mostly because you haven’t really gone on a date in months. You don’t have the time for it and the last girl you dated kinda ended badly so you’ve kept yourself busy with tumblr and books since then. Also meeting after meeting with your dad but no dinners. That was the only exception you told him but apparently this is a very important one for the connections in Europe and he really reeeeeally wants you to be there. He said that one of the business men, Mr. Adriano has a son that’s going and he wants you to play nice and keep him entertained while he makes business. You hate it when he does these things but he knows you’d never let him down and he knows you’re not straight and says it’s fine but he’s asking you to only play along. 

He’d never use you as sexual bait for someone. He’s a respectful man and you know from past experiences that if anyone so much as touches you inappropriately he will break the contract and the persons face all in less that a few seconds. He may not make much time for you but he knows you’re daddy’s little girl and even if he’s not really around that much, he does love you dearly. Maybe things would have been different if mom had been alive and lead her family’s company. She would have let you have all the time in the world with dad like she did when you were growing up. Fate works in mysterious ways I guess. Anyway, here you are in your dad’s fancy car. He may be a business man but he enjoys being the one who drives so he decline every offer to get a chofer for the two of you. One thing that’s never changed is the car rides with him. He always blast some mainstream pop and dances to it freely. You always join in, especially when he starts vogueing to some Madonna and it’s times like these that you miss having your dad around more. 

You reach the restaurant and the valet parking guy opens the door for you and for a second there you thought that for sure he was trying to flirt with you but your dad comes up behind you and grabs you, throwing the keys at him with a glare. Yeah, he can be over protective, but you love him. You step inside and meet up with everyone, putting your best kind smile for these strangers that don’t matter to you what so ever.

“Laura, this is Mr. Adriano! And this-” he gestures to a red headed boy with a slick smile.” is his son Alberto.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

You smile and give him your hand but he doesn’t shake it, he grabs it and kisses it and you give your dad a look of “it’s fine” because you can just feel his skin start to burn up.

“The pleasure is all mine, gorgeous.”

You give him an awkward tight smile and pull your hand away from him. Why does it always have to be the red heads?

You sat down at the dinner table and made sure to sit at least two chairs away from Alberto. Dad said to entertain him but he never said it had to be from up close. Let him stare at you all night and try and catch your attention, you don’t care, it’ll be amusing. At least more amusing than this damn dinner. The conversation is hella boring with numbers and stories from times in Europe with each other and Alberto keeps “pssst-ing” you and you really wish you were anywhere else than here.

At least the internet was right about the bread sticks. _They’re fucking delicious_.You wish someone would save you from this boredom and by some sign of pity from the gods you feel your phone vibrate and look for it in your purse. Who could it be? You almost spat out your water when you read the text message.

-

You hate that your housemate is out of town for the week. It gets really quiet and boring in this apartment. Will had to go and set up the sound for some big show on Tuesday and left you to keep everything running over here. You’ve always been a fan of good music and sound but you never expected to end up being a sound engineer. You started out helping Will with some shows from up coming bands and he showed you the ropes when he saw you were good with instruments and music and everything that had to do with sound. Right now he has a mini business that’s actually been doing really well and he handles the gigs and shows that have to do with traveling while you stick around and work with the tv broadcast and all that crap, listening to people talk for hours and making sure that the bands or artist who performed on tv sounded better than they were. (cause believe me, some artists have no talent and all money.) 

Tonight though you just got back from visiting a friend who was throwing a birthday party at his place. Kirsch tricked you into thinking he needed help with his tv and sound system and made you stay the whole afternoon. You drank more that you should have but managed to escape the party before it was too late. You somehow got back to your apartment and you had been dancing with some girl back at Kirsch’s place and frankly, she left you kinda turned on. You haven’t actually dated anyone in years. Not since Ell, that black hole of a woman took everything from you and you made sure to keep your heart locked and sealed away somewhere ever since. You’ve had many one night stands but nothing serious. Usually you wouldn’t even remember the girls faces or names after you did the do. Maybe you should have brought that girl along with you. It’s too bad she was just really drunk and her boyfriend was asking for a threesome which _hell no_ , not happening. But man are you horny right now. You remember the girl you slept with last week a few times, she didn’t seem like she’d give you any trouble. In fact she was totally okay with just being a booty call so the last time you ran into her at a bar  you decided to take her number for future reference. You were really drunk back then too, the girl kept making you take shots and you have no idea how you even ended up back at her place that night. Actually...you’re not really sure what her name really is. Ellen? Elise? Eliza? Elsie? Yeah yeah, it was totally Elsie. You plop down on your futon in the living room and you forgot to turn any lights on so it’s really dark and quiet. You take out your phone from the tight back pocket in your pants and start scrolling through contacts looking for that girls number. 

“Aaaah there you are!”

You smirk when you find the contact you where looking for and laugh when you see you were totally right, it is Elsie. So you make the terrible drunk decision to send her a text. _She can’t be too busy right?_ You giggle and drop your phone next to you on the sofa as you wait for her reply. _She won’t be busy after that text, that’s for sure._

  _-_

You wipe your mouth with a napkin as you try and compose yourself again. You look around to make sure no one saw you almost spit all of your water out and thank god your dad is still babbling on with these people. Alberto seems to have gone to the bathroom or something cause he’s not in his chair anymore. You take out your phone again to look at the screen.

Unknown Number(9:32pm): hey cupcake, wanna meet up and fuck?

You look at the screen still baffled from this random text. Who is this person anyway? Is this a prank from LaF? Who the hell sends a text like that so casually?? It must have been LaF, there’s no other explanation. They love making you feel uncomfortable, but this is totally another level of fucked up. You shake your head and reply.

-

Elsie(9:35pm): I don’t have time for this. I’m in the middle of a fancy dinner with people. Stop texting me these things.

You look at your phone screen confused. Fancy dinner huh? She must be out with family or something, but that doesn’t mean she’s getting off that easily. This only motivated you to tease her even more now. So you send a quick reply.

-

Unknown Number(9:36pm): that so? Why don’t we meet up in the back then. I’ll make it worth your while. I always liked the way I could make you scream my name.

What the actual fuck is going on. There’s no way LaF would go that far, that’s just awkward. It has to be someone else. Meet up in the back? You look up at the empty seat where Alberto was still not sitting in and you realize he must have somehow managed to get your number. God boys can be so disgusting. You look to your dad and he doesn’t seem to have any idea what’s going on which is good. You wouldn’t want to ruin this important dinner all because of some pervy asshole italian jerk. You’ll handle this yourself. You write out another text and send it, taping the screen aggressively. There, that’ll hit him right in the pride. 

-

Elsie(9:38pm): As if you could get anyone to scream your name. Don’t fool yourself.

“Uwww someone’s feisty.”

You smirk as you re read that text. She’s never played the aggressive card with you. You kinda like it. Let’s play along then. You reply and wait with anticipation of what she’ll come up with next. This should be good.

-

Unknown Number(9:40pm): I’m sure I could change your mind. Why don’t you ditch that dinner and come over? I’ll be sure to touch you in all the right places. ;)

You open your mouth in disbelief but quickly close it and straighten up in your seat. Play it cool, Hollis, play it cool. Alberto comes back from wherever the hell he was and sits down. He looks at you and throws you a kiss that makes you flinch back with a disgusted face and your dad turns to you with an eyebrow raised.

“Everything okay, honey?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine dad. You should really try these breadsticks.”

You try and give him a smile while grabbing a breadstick and bitting it. He smiles back and nods, taking one for himself. You look back at Alberto and he’s wiggling his eyebrows at you. You take the breadstick and break it in half with both hands while not breaking eye contact with him and his face drops. I think he got the metaphor. But he’s not gonna get away with that last text. You make sure to reply and pull out the conversation again, typing in an answer.

-

Elsie(9:44pm): Sorry, I’m too busy breaking these penis shaped breadsticks. Always hated the D.

You let out an actual laugh. This girl is hilarious. She’s never made you laugh like this before. Why didn’t you text her sooner? This is absolutely fun. You sit up on your couch now and text back with a wide smile on your face. 

-

Unknown Number(9:45pm): That sucks, if you where here i’d let you eat a real meal. It’s a delicacy among girls. ;)

You look back up to Alberto but see that he’s talking with some of the people near his side of the table. What the fuck, he didn’t type that in. You look back down at your phone confused. Who the hell is this person then? You type back a reply, trying to make it obvious you’re turning whoever this is down.

-

Elsie(9:46pm): No thanks. I’m not like most girls. Now please stop.

You pull your lip with your free hand as you re-read that last text. Not like most girls? What does she even mean? She knows you drive her crazy in bed so what’s the deal. Maybe she’s angry that you didn’t want to eat her out last time. You furrow your brow and reply after a few minutes of thinking that text over.

-

Unknown Number(9:50pm): Look Elsie, idk why you’re playing so hard to get. If it makes you feel better, I promise to eat you out more than once this time.

You open your eyes wide as you chew your food while looking at your new message. Elsie? Who the hell is Elsie? And eat me out more than once? Holy crap who is this person and why is Elsie getting some so often? You shake your head. You haven’t gotten any in months, this “Elsie” must be one lucky ass girl. Maybe you should tell them they have the wrong number. You start texting them back but keep deleting what you write until you finally press send. 

“Sorry dude.” you mumble to yourself as you put your phone away.

-

“Fiiiiinnaalyyyyy” 

You reach for your phone that lit up next to you and un lock it to read the new text. Shit.

Elsie(9:57pm):Hey, sorry. I’m not Elsie, u got the wrong #.

“Fuck. Shit.”

You change the position your sitting in as you re-read the last text. Crap, you wrote the number wrong. I mean who can blame you, you were drunk as fuck that night and you hand’t called or texted her since. You start typing a text while bitting your lip and knitting your brow together feeling a bit embarrassed. You send the text and place the phone beside you but then grab it again after thinking for a few minutes.

-

Unknown Number(9:58pm): Shit. Im sorry. I didn’t know. Have a nice dinner.

You can’t help but giggle at the last text you got from them. At least they managed to make your night more exciting. You start to put your phone away when you feel it vibrate again.

Unknown Number(10:01pm): still, u seem cute cupcake. I like your attitude. text me back if you’re still down to have some fun. XOXO

You shake your head and make angry hand gestures to yourself as you stare at the screen.

Is this guy serious?

 

 

 


	2. Dessert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their is flirting and jokes and things are slowly heating up between these two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's for you @female_type. LOL!
> 
> also sorry if there's errors, i didn't re read it.
> 
> also There's A LOT of texting here.
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/

The waitress is finally bringing everyone’s meal but everyone just continues talking, waiting for her to finish placing everything and you hear them ask to bring a bottle of their finest whine. All you can focus on right now though is this stupid stranger who keeps texting you inappropriate things. I mean, who does he think he is? You thought it was a bit funny at first and it was all an honest mistake but he texted you back that last message and you can’t believe this man. The nerve of this guy, boys can be so disgusting at times I just can’t even begin to believe this. You decide to text him back angrily and you try to hold your feminist rant on treating women like a piece of meat. You press send.

“Laura, aren’t you gonna eat?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Your dad raises an eyebrow at you again but gets back to his meal and conversation. You stretch out a large napkin on your lap and begin to eat some pasta. Yup, totally an italian place.

-

Elsie(10:05pm): Wow. Okay I don’t know who you think you are but first of all, I don’t do men, and second of all ew. Please just delete my #.

You laugh again at this girls attitude.

“This girl is hilarious.”

So she thinks you were a guy? You laugh again as you start thinking what you should reply to her. Your laugh dies down into a smirk. You know just the thing.

-

You feel your phone vibrate and you almost slammed your utensils on your plate in anger. Is this guy just gonna keep on bothering you the whole damn night? This boring dinner is terrible enough as is. You take out your phone and see you have two messages.

Unknown Number(10:08pm): lol you’ve got it all wrong sweetheart. Here let me show you.

Unknown Number(10:09pm): -Download Image- 

You’re confused as to what he thinks you got wrong but curiosity got the best of you and you clicked on the download button to see the image. 

“It better not be a fucking dick pic.” you mumble to yourself as you take a bite of some spaghetti while it downloads. Your phone vibrates telling you it’s done and you stare at it. You chocked on your spaghetti and start to cough a little. Your dad turning to you and patting your back.

“Are you alright, Laura??”

“Yeah” you continue to cough. “Totally fine.”

When your coughing subsides you grab your phone and look at it discretely from an angle that no one else can look at what’s on your screen. _Holy shit._ She’s a girl and she’s _really_ fucking hot, like woah. You start to blush as you continue to look at the picture. It’s a girl laying on a couch with a black lacey bra and some tight leather pants, her hair is dark and she’s got some smudged make up that still looks really hot while she smirks at the camera.

“Fuck.” you whisper to yourself and hide your phone when the waitress stands next to you handing you a glass and filling it with wine. You give her and awkward smile trying to act casual and when she finally leaves you take out your phone again. Okay so maybe texting with a total stranger isn’t that bad.

-

You’re laying down on your futon when you hear your phone ring. You can’t help but grin. She texted you back. 

“Okay, let’s see what you got to say now, creampuff.”

You grab your phone and read her message.

Elsie(10:15pm): Oh.

Elsie(10:15pm): Sooo you’re not a creepy old guy then.

Elsie(10:15pm): ...Sorry about that. :x

You smile at the screen. This girl is too cute. I wonder..

-

You’re looking at your phone waiting for it to vibrate again and when it does you almost jump to un-lock your screen and see what she replied.

Unknown Number(10:17pm): don’t worry about it. Now how do I know YOUR not a creepy old man?

What? Isn’t it obvious that you’re a girl? A stream of text messages between the two of you starts.

Laura(10:18pm): I am not a creepy old man. I’m a girl obvsly. 

Unknown Number(10:18pm): Prove it.

Laura(10:19pm): I can’t. I told you I’m at a dinner.

Unknown Number(10:19pm): Then go to the bathroom. Obvs. ;)

Laura(10:20pm): Ok. Give me a sec.

You excuse yourself from the table and head to the bathroom of the restaurant. Once you step inside you wait for a woman to leave so that you can be alone. You try and take a selfie a few times but always end up deleting it. 

“Fuck it. Just be natural Laura. It’s not like what this girl thinks matters or anything.”

You take a mirror selfie and send it to her while holding your breath. Why are you so nervous?

-

You’re looking at your phone laying beside you and quickly grab it when it lights up. You feel your lips part when you see the picture of the random girl you’ve been texting.

“Fuck...she’s gorgeous.”

You stay looking at the picture for a few minutes not being able to look away. She’s a cute brunette with a super sweet smile, a green dress that’s tight in all the right places, some nice eyeliner that make her eyes look a strange shade of light brown (yes, you did zoom in on the picture in more than her eyes), amazing biceps, and her phone cover has a tardis on the back. You look at the background. Wherever she is looks pretty fancy.

-

Unknown Number(10:22pm): glad to see your not an old man. Also glad to see you’re very very pretty. 

Unknown Number(10:23pm): Got a name, cutie, or should I just keep calling u Elsie on my phone?

Laura(10:24pm): my names Laura. U?

Unknown Number(10:24pm): Carmilla. Nice to put a name to that adorable face, cutie.

Laura(10:25pm): Carmilla huh? That’s a pretty name. Nice to meet u inappropriate sexual texter. :P

Carmilla(10:26pm): touche, cupcake. 

Carmilla(10:26pm): u look really good in that tight green dress btw

Carmilla(10:26pm): id love to be the one to take it off.

Laura(10:27pm): Wow. Not stopping huh? U sure ur not and old man?

Carmilla(10:32pm): want more proof? ;)

Carmilla(10:32pm): -Download Image-

You swallow hard when you see the download image pop up. What did she send you this time? You never know with this girl. She’s really intense. You make sure to finish your meal this time before you open the image and your jaw drops when you see the new picture she sent you. She’s laying down on her couch again this time she’s bitting her lower lip as she pulls down on the waist band of her pants that are now unbuttoned, showing you her matching black underwear. 

“Holy crap.” 

You let out, not noticing you didn’t mumble that time and everyone’s looking at you when you look back up from your phone a little flustered.

“Um..sorry..this wine is just so good. I hadn’t tried anything like it.”

You say taking a sip of your wine. They all start to laugh and talk with one another again and you let out a sigh, looking at your dad apologetically. 

You look back down at your phone carefully, making sure no one can see what you’re looking at and you blush when you see the picture again. This girl is freaking gorgeous, like she’s not only hot she’s unbelievably hot like holy crap. How did she ever end up texting you? You put your phone away and decide to finish your glass of wine. You’re gonna need it after that picture. 

-

You’ve been laying here for a while now as you stare at your phone. You flipped yourself on your belly and are holding yourself up by your elbows waiting for her to reply. Ugh, the anticipation is killing you. Why hasn’t she answered back yet? Did you scare her off? 

“Whatever. So much for that cute g-”

You’re interrupted by your phone ringing and you quickly look down and grab it to read the text.

Laura(10:40pm): Okay, now you’re just being evil.

You smile. She actually kept replying after that. You start typing in another reply. You’re really liking this girl.

Carmilla(10:41pm): idk what ur talking about. I was just showing u im a girl

Carmilla(10:41pm): a girl who’d really like some company 

Carmilla(10:41pm): u know, someone to touch her

Carmilla(10:41pm): so she didn’t have to touch herself. 

You bit your lip when you sent that last one. God, you’re horny tonight. 

-

Okay, you are _officially_ horny tonight. How can this girl just turn you on with words? No ones ever been able to pull that off. You’re not really an easy girl to please and that’s partially why you stopped dating Danny. She was too cutesy with you and sure you liked it at first to some extent but then it was just annoying you. This girl on the other hand, she isn’t afraid to be dirty with you, and you don’t even know each other. After that last text though you’re starting to want to change that.

Laura(10:44pm): okay wow. Stop it. You’re turning me on in front of a table full of important ppl.

Carmilla(10:45pm): That so? Well we wouldn’t want them to notice now would we?\

Carmilla(10:45pm): good thing I’m not there cus I would have my hands all over you right now.

Carmilla(10:45pm): or well, under the table of course. 

Laura(10:46pm): you’re cruel.

Laura(10:46pm): I’m gonna have to stop texting u now. 

-

“Whyyyy?” 

You whine as you pout at your phone. You start typing again as you walk into your room and throw yourself on your bed.

Carmilla(10:47pm): don’t go. I’m having way too much fun teasing u.

Laura(10:47pm): too bad. Find someone else to torture.

You smile at the fact that she replied even though she said she wasn’t going to text you back.

Carmilla(10:48pm): I dnt want anyone else. I like u best.

Laura(10:48pm): liar. I’m sure u have a long list of girls u can txt instead.

Carmilla(10:49pm): not really. Elsie’s the 1st # I’ve gotten in years. I dnt do dating.

Laura(10:49pm): technically u didn’t even get Elsie’s #, u got mine.

Carmilla(10:50pm): best mistake of my life.

-

You’re eating dessert now (finally) and you’re smiling at that last text she sent you. It was cute. 

“Laura.”

You hide your phone and look back up at your dad.

“you’ve been on your phone the whole night.”

“what? Um yeah sorry dad. It’s important. LaF and Perry drama you know.”

“Oh. Well, just try and finish your dessert without making a mess.”

He reaches down to your face and wipes some chocolate cake from it. You give him and apologetic look and shrug and he just smiles and shakes his head.

“Tell them I say hi.”

“Okay.”

He stays looking at you waiting for you to text them back and you realize and start typing.

-

Laura(10:52pm): I just had to lie and say I was texting someone else. My dad says hi (to who he thinks im texting.) and he’s staring at me.

You laugh and type back a reply.

Carmilla(10:52pm): Hi Mr.Laura’s dad. 

Carmilla(10:52pm):family dinner huh? Getting married or something, cupcake?

Laura(10:53pm): Ha! As if. I don’t really do relationships much. 

“So she’s singleee. Nice.”

You say to yourself as you decide to change the mood a bit again.

Carmilla(10:53pm): me either, I’d like to DO you though.

Carmilla(10:53pm): u sure u can’t come over for some dessert?

Laura(10:54pm): I already had dessert.

Carmilla(10:54pm): really? What’d u have?

Laura(10:54pm): chocolate cake. Mmmmmm

Carmilla(10:55pm): with the little fudge ball on top?

Laura(10:55pm): u’ve had those? This place isn’t like Aunt Annie’s Bakery downtown.

Carmilla(10:55pm): my favorite one’s are the chocolate chip cookies. They’re super soft.

Laura(10:56pm): have u ever tried the cheesecake tho? It’s sooo good!

Carmilla(10:56pm): can’t say I have yet. I can walk there tomorrow tho and let u know what I think. ;)

Laura(10:56pm): u can walk there? But that’s in the middle of the city

Carmilla(10:57pm): I literally live like 10 minutes away. I go there all the time at night. It’s my fav

-

You feel your smile widen at her texts. She’s actually pretty cool, plus she loves your favorite bakery that you used to go with your dad to on Friday nights. How come you’ve never ran into her before?

Laura(10:57pm): how come I’ve never seen u around then?

Carmilla(10:58pm): must have not been looking for the love of ur life back then. ;)

You giggle and your dad is gesturing for you to get up. The dinner’s finally over and you and your dad are walking back outside, waiting for the valet to bring the car around.

“Thanks for coming, sweetie. I hope it wasn’t too boring.”

“Not at all. I managed to keep myself busy.”

“So how’s LaF doing? Everything okay with Perry?”

“Yeah just some stupid argument over who gets to record what tv show.”

He starts laughing and you’re glad your lie at least made for a good joke. The valet pulls up and gets out of the car, opening a door for you. Your dad stands next to the door as you sit down and he glares at the valet as he closes the door himself and goes around the car to the steering wheel. You take out your phone when your dad starts driving back to the house.

Laura(11:09pm): maybe u where just too busy hitting on girls to see urs ;)

You grin, you can’t believe you’re following this girls drift but she’s being cute while still being a little mysterious and it’s making you want to know more about her.

Carmilla(11:09pm): idk what ur talking about. Have u seen the girls who go there? Either too old or too young for my taste, sweetheart.

You laugh because it’s true. Most of the people who go there are either mom’s, old ladies or children after school.

Laura(11:10pm): idk what ur tastes are, u creepy old man. :P

Carmilla(11:10pm): mostly blonds but u changed that the moment u sent me that pic.

Carmilla(11:10pm): you’re very beautiful.

Laura(11:11pm): thanks ur not so bad yourself.

Laura(11:11pm): also, make a wish! 11:11

Carmilla(11:11pm): I wish u were here.

Laura(11:12pm): smooth.

Carmilla(11:12pm): I try.

Carmilla(11:12pm): ;*

Laura(11:13pm): virtual kisses too, huh?

Carmilla(11:13pm): well I’d kiss u in real life if u’d come over

Carmilla(11:13pm): offer still stands cutie.

Laura(11:14pm): what makes u think I’d want ur offer anyway?

Carmilla(11:14pm): well for starters ur still texting me

Carmilla(11:14pm): secondly, I like to think ur as turned on as I am

Carmilla(11:14pm): and thirdly, I promise to fuck u so good, u won’t even remember not wanting to take my offer.

Okay so maybe you are really turned on right now, but there’s no way you’d just go to a complete strangers house to have casual sex. 

Laura(11:18pm): sorry. Can’t. Just got home.

You put your phone back in your purse and take off your heels to walk inside from the car. You head up to your room and throw your heels on the ground and your purse on the bed when you hear your phone start to vibrate in your purse. You were headed to the bathroom to take off your make up but turn back to see if it’s Carmilla that texted you back.

Carmilla(11:22pm): what r u doing the rest of the night?

Carmilla(11:22pm): please tell me it’s me. I’m dying here. Have mercy on this poor gay soul.

Laura(11:23pm): sorry babe, no can do. I’m getting ready for a cold shower anyway. No thanks to you.

You smile and bite your lip as you were writing that last text message. You don’t know why you called her babe but your fingers moved on their own so you let it slide. Hopefully she won’t make a big deal out of it.

Carmilla(11:23pm): at least send me another picture of u to look at tonight

You purse your lips and start to think of doing something you’ll probably regret later, but what the heck. You only live once right?

-

You’re biting your lip waiting for her to reply. What has gotten into you Karnstein? This girl’s got you going crazy. For some reason you can’t stop thinking about what she sounds like, or what she’s doing while she texts you. Your phone rings and you check your messages to see she sent you another picture.

“Oh _fuck_.”

She sent you a picture of her back, the dress zipped down to the bottom right where her ass starts, it’s dropping a little by her shoulders and she has her hair down one side on her neck, she’s not smiling this time. This time she’s looking at the phone screen with her lips slightly parted and oh my god why isn’t she here right now? You feel your phone ring again.

Laura(11:27pm): cat got ur tongue huh? :P

You smirk at her newest text and you really think you’re starting to like this girl more than ay girl you’ve been with lately.

-

Carmilla(11:27pm): sorry, my panties dropped to the floor suddenly. Someone was teasing me while letting me go through an endless amount of torture.

Laura(11:28pm): ‘idk what ur talking about’ ;P

Carmilla(11:28pm): yeah, neither do i. I can’t think straight right now, I think I need u to help me remember what I was saying. Maybe another pic would help me clear my mind.

Laura(11:29pm): Nop. Sorry. Pic for a pic. We’re even 2-2. 

Carmilla(11:29pm): no problem.

Carmilla(11:29pm): -download image-

You’re smiling like an idiot at this whole conversation but you can’t look away from the download button so you press it and bite your lip as you wait in anticipation for the image to load. The image opens up and you can hear yourself go “mmm” at the sight of her. This time she’s not on her couch, she’s on a bed, her pants are off and she’s laying on her back, her knees are slightly bent and her stomach looks so perfect, theirs a light that you imagine is the bathroom, coming by the side and it makes perfect shadows on her curves. She’s sticking out her tongue and biting it down as she smirks, flipping you off. You let out a breathy laugh once you notice it and decide to reply with a picture. Fuck it, why not.

-

You flip yourself waiting for her reply as you hug one of your pillows excitedly. She takes a while but soon your phone rings and you see that she’s sent you a picture too. 

“Oh my god. Wow.”

It’s a picture of her in her underwear. She’s wearing a cute dark brown bra and some blue panties that just make you want to die and come back to life. Her face is scrunched up as she flips you off back and you can’t stop the laugh that surges through you. This girl is amazing. No one’s ever been able to make you laugh, turn you on, and keep you wanting more, all in less that a few minutes.

Carmilla(11:31pm): how are u even real?

Laura(11:31pm): don’t know. Too busy looking at ur pic to answer.

You laugh again and bite your lip as you reply.

Carmilla(11:31pm): why haven’t I met u before?

Carmilla(11:32pm): ur amazing.

Carmilla(11:32pm): plus I’d really like the opportunity to take those panties off of u.

Laura(11:33pm): srry. Can’t. They’re tattoed on. It’s impossible.

Carmilla(11:33pm): hahahahahahaha!

You didn’t know what else to type. You’re literally laughing so hard it’s insane. This girl is pure gold. 

Laura(11:34pm): yeah yeah, laugh at my misery. :P

Carmilla(11:34pm): I’m sorry. In exchange I’ll let u feel me up. Everyone loves my tits.

Laura(11:35pm): mmmm idk… still doesn’t convince me.

Carmilla(11:35pm): my ass too?

Laura(11:35pm): nope, still doesn’t sound convincing.

Carmilla(11:36pm): ill let u touch me anywhere u want. Plus ill make sure to give u the same pleasure with my hands. I can be quite good with my hands.

Laura(11:36pm): u just don’t give up do u

Carmilla(11:37pm): not a chance. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep tonight without u. If I do u’d probably be in my dreams, tormenting me. If u dont come over soon I might just have to do something about it.

Laura(11:37pm): oh really? Like what?

Carmilla(11:38pm): touch myself, moaning ur name as I feel the ecstasy slowly take control.

Carmilla(11:38pm): over

Carmilla(11:38pm): and over

Carmilla(11:38pm): and over

You feel your phone ring as you were typing the words “over” again and again. You smile wide as you read the text you just received. 

Laura(11:38pm): give me ur address. 

 

 

 


	3. Midnight Snack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla meet the stranger they'd been sexting all night, they're not disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEVER IN MY LIFE have i felt so gay. i can't believe this dear god. i haven't even re-read it yet, idk if i can handle reading something like that that I wrote. lol
> 
> P.S. i literally wrote this chapter listening to "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry on repeat.
> 
> P.S.S. sorry Hannah! LOL

"Nooo come back!”

You’re whisper-yelling at your phone screen after you pressed send. You can’t believe you just did that. I mean okay sure you’ve been flirting through text all night and she’s really attractive and she’s been making you horny all damn night but she’s a total stranger. You don’t know anything about her other than she likes chocolate chip cookies and lives near Aunt Annie’s Bakery and that she’s a super duper tease but still. What if she’s part of some gang that use her to lure innocent lesbians to their doom? Or what if she’s a cereal killer? Or what if she’s just cat-fishing you like in that mtv show and is a fat married bald guy who’s using pictures of some girl from the internet??

You start pacing in your room. She probably won’t even reply anyway, that was all too sudden and easy for her, right? Right?? _Wrong._ You feel your phone vibrate in your hand and quickly look at it.

Carmilla(11:40pm): oh, did I say something to change your mind? ;)

Laura(11:40pm): Nevermind

Carmilla(11:40pm): I’m kidding, cupcake.

Carmilla(11:41pm): Riverton St. ,big red brick building, Apartment #307 

Carmilla(11:41pm): be sure to bring yourself ;) (and some of that chocolate cake if there’s any left.)

Laura(11:42pm): nope, sorry. I ate it all at the restaurant.

Carmilla(11:42pm): that’s fine, I’ll just settle with eating u instead ;)

Laura(11:42pm): oh my god, can u not.

Carmilla(11:42pm): what’s wrong? Cold feet? 

Carmilla(11:43pm): scared u’ll want to come back for more afterwards? 

Laura(11:43pm): pfff don’t flatter yourself.

Carmilla(11:43pm): hahahaha. I can’t help it. Ur too easy to tease.

Carmilla(11:44pm): I just really want u to come.

Carmilla(11:44pm): and I dnt just mean that as in “come here” ;*

Laura(11:45pm): ha! dream on. I’m not an easy girl to please.

Carmilla(11:45pm): It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how many times I have to do it. I’m a dedicated girl, sweetheart. 

Carmilla(11:45pm): believe me, I can keep up. 

“Oh god, who is this girl?!”

You throw yourself on your bed and groan in your yellow pillow. Why did you have to meet her this way? Couldn’t it had been walking down the street, or getting some coffee, or at a bar even? I mean how many girls does this girl have sex with on a daily basis? Well, she did say that she hasn’t gotten a number in a while and Elsie’s was the first one. Well, _you_ were the first one, but who the hell is Elsie then? Is she hot? She’s probably way more attractive than you cause like I mean, if she managed to get Carmilla to ask her for her number, she must have been a total babe. On second thought maybe not so much since she’s texting _you_ instead of going after this ‘ _Elsie’_. You laugh maliciously and look down at your semi naked body. 

Yeah, you probably kick Elsie’s butt. 

You feel your phone vibrate again and quickly flip on to your belly on the bed to look.

Carmilla(11:48pm): u still there?

-

You’re laying belly down on your bed, using your elbows to lift yourself up to see your phone. She hasn’t texted you back yet and frankly you’re a little bit disappointed. You really were looking forward to meeting this girl, she seemed...different. Then again maybe that’s just because she isn’t falling for your intense seduction texts. Maybe she isn’t that into you. You feel kind of sad now but you scoff and shake your head, getting up from your bed. _Fuck that, I’ll just go get a beer to keep me company tonight._ You stand up and start walking out of your room but stop just before you pass the door frame and clench your fists, quickly turning around to bring your phone with you.

“This is ridiculous.”

You snatch it angrily from the bed and grunt as you storm out of your room and head to the kitchen. You put your phone on the counter as you open the fridge. 

“Let’s seeee.”

Your fridge doesn’t have that many things since it’s just you right now. Will’s usually the one who does the groceries with you because you hate going on your own. You’re just gonna have to survive the week without him then, whatever, fuck groceries. You grab a beer and smoothly snap the cap off with the kitchen counter, closing the fridge door. Night to yourself? House to yourself? Booze to yourself? Might as well get drunk again. 

“Cheers.”

You say sarcastically as you raise your beer up in the air and start to chug it down. Then your phone started to ring and you the surprise almost made you choke. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and quickly reach for your phone on the counter with wide, hopeful eyes.

Laura(11:56pm): Here as in home? No. I’m taking a cab.

You put your beer down on the counter and knit your brow together. Wait, does this mean she’s coming over? Your phone vibrates in your hands before you could reply and you feel a smile start to grown on your face.

Laura(11:57pm): u did give me the right address right? No fucked up joke to get me mugged  and murdered?

Carmilla(11:57pm): totally serious. Let me know when ur here, I’ll buzz u in. 

You let out something like an excited giggle as you bite your lip. She’s actually coming over. Why am I so excited over this? It’s just another girl. You take your beer and shake your head after you take a big gulp.  

“Same old same old, Karnstein. Don’t get weird right now, it’s just a girl, you have nothing to worry about.”

You look around and gasp a little when you se the state your apartment is in.

“Shit, okay okay. You can fix this, Karnstein.”

You open the fridge, take one more gulp of your beer and put it away, almost sprinting to the living room area and picking up your clothes from earlier, franticly. Damn it, why is this place such a god damn mess?

Oh right, cause it’s your place, figures.

-

“ _Why_ am I doing this again? Oh god no no no.”

You’re in the back seat of a cab on your way to Riverton whatever street and you are having a nervous break down in this damn long ass car ride even though it’s literally like 20 minutes away from your place. Maybe this was a bad decision, maybe you should just turn back, face reality and just go back to your nice cozy bed and just reblog gifs of lesbians making out all night. Yeah that sounds nice, why not do that instead, Laura? Huh? Huh??

“Riverton Street! The red brick building’s right up front.”

You tense up at how quickly you got here. What should you do? What should you do??

“Miss?”

Fuck it. You’re already here right? How bad can going be?

“Thanks Sir. Here, have a nice night!”

You hand him some cash and step out. It’s chilly out and this area is kinda dark and creepy with these big trees, the side walks wet from some rain that must’ve dropped earlier. You look around to find the red brick building she mentioned and swallow hard, wrapping your coat around you nervously before you cross the road to head to the building. Maybe you should call to check if she’s still awake. You take out your phone and press on her contact. You start walking slowly to bide your time while she picks up. It’s ringing and your looking up at the red building that you’ve almost reached when you hear your phone stop ringing.

“Hello?”

Holy shit her voice is like a human vibrator. It’s so raspy and sultry and just wow, you weren’t expecting that at all and--oh crap, right she said hello.

“Hey.”

- 

You had no idea this girls voice was gonna sound the way it does. You don’t really know what you were expecting but it sure wasn’t that. You couldn’t have ever imagine she’d sound so cute and up beat. You kinda want to hear her say more.

“Sooo uh, I’m guessing this means you’re not asleep, huh?”

For Pete’s sake this girl is too much of a dork, it’s freaking adorable.

“well obviously.”

You feel a smirk across your lips as you hear her fidgeting on the side.

“Are you here already?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe yes or maybe no?”

“Maybe I’m not being specific because I don’t want you to know I’m here already just in case you’re some creepy vampire that feeds on girls every full moon, not that I’m outside or anything.”

“hahaha...cupcake, I promise I’m no seductive vampire.”

“That’s exactly what a seductive vampire would say.”

“You are too much.” 

You chuckle lightly as you shake your head and walk to the window.

“Where are you? I can’t see you outside.”

“I may just be hiding behind a tree with a stake and cross.”

“Well come up and stake me through the chest already. This bloodsucker is growing impatient. You might just lose your chance to take me down.”

“hmmmm I don’t know. You’re still watching from somewhere so that’s not a fair fight.”

“Fine, I’ll leave the window to buzz you in, deal?”

“mmmm deal.”

“Okay, see you soon then.”

You grin as you hang up and walk to your door to press the buzzer and hope she got there in time. You turn around and take one last look at your place. It’s not too bad, she probably won’t even care anyway. You hear a knock on your door and jump startled. She’s here. Oh god she’s here, this is the moment of truth. To bang or not to bang. You brush your see-through tank top that you put on while waiting along with some booty shorts, and take a step towards the door. You un lock both locks on your apartment door and open it. 

_Woah._

She was looking down when you first opened the door, her arms wrapped around her black coat, a shy look in those big brown eyes. She’s shorter than you expected but you find it absolutely adorable and she’s wearing some dark boots and her laces aren’t even completely tied. She’s got some eyeliner that you saw on the pictures she sent you but actually seeing her facial features move is making you swallow right now.

“Oh _thank god,_ you really aren’t a creepy old man.”

Her voice is even cuter in person and how can a dork like this be so hilariously cute? You let out a small breathy laugh and swat your hand around.

“Glad I didn’t disappoint.”

She gives you a bashful tight smile and dear god where is this girl even from?

“You coming in orrrr..?”

“Oh! Yeah! Right! Sorry.”

You open the door wider for her to step in and stare at her when she passes you, shutting the door and locking it again. You turn around and find her looking around and for some reason you feel yourself swallow a bit nervous as to what she’s thinking. She turns in her heel to face you and gives you another shy smile. You smile back, not having any control over it and step closer to her.

“Hey.”

You look down at her with a seductive smile and eyes.

“Hey.”

She blushes under your stare and now that you’re closer you can see her, like _really_ see her. The sight of her pink cheeks just adds to how pretty this girl is.

“You want anything to drink?”

You point to the kitchen with your thumb and walk backwards towards it as she follows you with a sly smile.

“I’ve got, beer, beer aaaaand beer?”

“Wow, such a variety of choices. How will I ever decide?”

“I’d recommend the second one. It’s a house favorite and by house I mean mine.”

“I’ll take it.”

You smirk and close the fridge, walking towards where she’s standing near the kitchen counter and giving her the beer. You make sure your fingers touch when she grabs it and the look on her face is just priceless. Your smirk shifts into an amused grin before you take a sip of your own beer.

“So, do you like live here alone?”

“I have a housemate Will, he’s out of town though. Which would explain the awful lot of quiet that’s going on in here.”

“Hmmm no wonder you got lonely tonight.”

She smiles teasing you and you can’t believe it. This girl, a stranger you’ve just met, has somehow gotten the guts to tease you and the worst part is, it’s working.

“Yeah well, I’m glad you appeared on me tonight.”

“Technically it wasn’t even me you were looking for in the first place.”

“Technically...but I’m glad it was you who answered instead.”

You look her up and down before you take another sip of your beer.

“I’m glad I was the one you accidentally texted.”

She looks you up and down too but looks away and drinks her beer.

“You’re too cute.”

She almost spits out her beer and starts to fidget in her place.

“Um, yeah thanks. Some people say I’m cute because I’m short but I don’t think that’s entirely true besides height differences are hot and you’re hot and maybe I kind of sort of thought you wouldn’t seem the same in person but you do but like even more wow and I just wasn’t expecting any of that and maybe you-”

“-Wow, you sure like to talk.”

You interrupt her in her rambling which you find completely adorable and you step in closer to her, putting one of your hands on the counter behind her closing the space around the two of you and stepping even closer as you took one last sip of your beer and placed it on the other side of her, pinning her now on both sides with your arms. You see her breath hitch at your action and her cheeks are rosey again as she stares up at your eyes and down at your lips.

“It’s fine by the way, but I’d rather be doing something other than talking right now.”

You slowly brush some of her hair behind her ear as you finish speaking and look back at her, noticing she’s looking down at you lips attentively. You smirk at the sight and decide to lean in. You give her one good kiss which she instantly counters and it feels far more different than any kiss you’ve ever received. You pull back for a second in a daze from what’s happening in you. _What the hell was that?_ You stay staring at her for a few seconds too long as you’re lost in these confusing thoughts.

“Everything okay?”

Your eyebrows twitch up from the sudden question that brought you back from your thoughts. 

“You gonna keep that coat on all night ooor..?”

“Oh uh-right, let me just-uh. It was cold outside and uh I forgot but it’s warmer in here so-yeah you’re right.”

She starts to nervously slide her coat off and this girl is hilarious. You notice she’s still wearing that hot green dress from earlier tonight and it looks even better on her in person, it just grabs her body in all the right places. She looks at you and gestures as if asking for permission for you to move your arm that’s pinning her to this counter and you oblige, not looking away at all from her body that you are currently scanning. She throws her coat on the kitchen island and leans back to where she was. She takes in a deep breath as she looks at your lips again and you bite your lip. You love having this effect on her. Well, not her, just--girls in general but whatever. You lean in again and kiss her more passionately this time. She pulls back a little bit while you were both kissing but you only follow her lips to where they’re headed and put both hands to her waist pulling her core closer to you. Before you could even notice, you got lost in the kiss and you bent down a little, grabbing her by her thighs and lifting her up on the counter, stepping in between her legs. The sweet taste of her lips is mesmerizing  and you can’t help but want to taste her more and more. Her hands are wrapped around the back of your neck and she’s kissing you back in a way that’s making your knees go weak for a second. _What the hell is happening to you Karnstein?! Get it together, it’s just a kiss._ You deepen the kiss and her mouth opens a little more so you take the opportunity to use your tongue and she doesn’t fight you on it. Instead she uses her tongue as well and you move your hands to her ass and slide them slowly down her thighs as you still play with her tongue. Her legs start to wrap around your waist and you clutch the back of her thighs, lifting her up again. This time carrying her as you continue to kiss. Her legs tighten around you and you stumble for a second when she does something with her tongue that just--wow. 

You stumble your way to the couch thanking the god’s that this girl isn’t heavy at all. In fact, she feels super light in your arms right now. You sit yourself down on your couch with her sitting on your lap, straddling you and you feel her smile into the kiss for some reason, making your heart kind of jump for a second there, weird. You start to slide your hands up her upper thigh, slowly lifting up her dress, sliding it further and further off of her when she stops kissing you and you found yourself trying to follow her lips before you open your eyes to see what’s wrong.

“The couch? Really?”

She bites her lip and giggles and she is way too cute to just stop doing what she was doing god damn it why.

“Right.”

She steps off of you and fixes her dress back down making you whine about it in your head. You grab her hand and pull her towards your bedroom. Once you’ve almost reached the door you turn around and pull her closer to you.

“You know, as much as I think that dress looks good on you..”

You eye her up and down slowly and she blushes.

“I think you should take it off.”

She blushes harder and looks down and back up at you through her lashes.

“Make me.”

That’s it. That’s all you needed. Fuck it. You pull her closer and start kissing her again. You don’t know why but you really wanted to feel her lips against yours already. Your hands slide up her back and grab the zipper of her dress, sliding it open smoothly, and you move your hands to her shoulders taking the top part of the dress off of her and her breath hitches but you don’t stop. You move your hands to where the dress is laying on her waist and yank it down. Once it’s on the ground she steps out of it and you move your hands back up her body, feeling her now semi naked skin warm against your touch. Your feel the strap of her underwear and scoop your finger through it to start pulling it down but her hand stops you and she pulls back again. What the hell?

“Um-that’s not fair you’re uh- still uh-”

She looks at your chest and you remember you’re still wearing that tank top. The fact that she seems so nervous and is stuttering a bit makes you want to just fuck with her nerves. 

“Well, if you want it off so badly why not take it off from me?”

Her face turns beat red and she licks her lips.

“You are not subtle at all, are you?”

“Nope. Sorry cupcake. I pride myself in being straight forward.”

She bunches up her face annoyed and oh my god you need to make her angry more often, it’s perfect.

“That and teasing girls, clearly.”

“You know me so well already.” you drag your fingers down her toned stomach (which fuck that’s hot) and she takes in a breath. “now, can I get to know your body already?”

She glares at you and you smirk, bitting your lip.

“Fuck you.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.”

“Oh my god, just shut up already.”

She grabs you by the neck and pulls you in for a kiss. This time it’s fast and heated and you feel her hands slide down under your shirt and start quickly lifting it up. You raise your arms to help her out since after the way she’s kissing you you kind of want to get this whole “clothing” thing over with so you can get to your bed. She stops kissing you to quickly pull the shirt over your head and tosses it to the side.

“Uww, messy. I like it.”

You tried to tease but it didn’t seem to matter much to her since she cupped your face and started kissing you more aggressively now and stepping close to you. You take a step back from the sudden intensity and her hands stop cupping your face and go to the waist band of your pants. She grabs both the waist band of your pants and your underwear and pulls it down in one clean sweep, catching you by surprise. You part your lips and lean your head back.

“I thought we were keeping this fair, cutie?”

“Whatever.”

She kisses you again and you start to walk backwards to your bed, un buckling her bra as she stumbled following you, still kissing you. You manage to un buckle it and she helps you out sliding her arms out of it and you toss it somewhere in your room. You reach your bed and tumble down and she grabs you by your lower back, helping you lift yourself higher in the bed. _Holy crap this girls got some strong arms and that was hot as fuck, shit._ She’s kissing you and you feel like your whole body is on fucking fire. 

Fuck, why didn’t this girls number accidentally cross your path before?

-

You stop kissing Carmilla for a second to catch your breath. Your heart is going a million miles per hour right now and you can feel your breath is warm.

“You taste like wine and chocolate.”

She smirks at you and god damn it how does she keep doing that? 

“Yeah well..you taste like cheap beer.”

She chuckles and licks her lips.

“Only the best kind.”

You feel her hands go down your back and stop at your lower back. You swallow nervously. Okay, so, this is it Laura. There’s no turning back now, you are on top of her on her bed without a bra on and you are very very turned on right now but still nervous as fuck but that doesn’t matter. This is a once in a life time thing. A fuck for a fuck. Pleasure for pleasure. You can do this-you can do this. 

The whole time you were talking to yourself in your head you didn’t notice you were staring down into Carmilla’s dark shiny eyes and when you stopped arguing with yourself you found yourself getting lost in them. Then all of a sudden you see her smirk again and she grabs you and pushes you off of her and onto the bed. Fuck. Okay okay calm down Laura-oh god why is she so hot? Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

“I think I want to taste the rest of you though.”

She cranes on top of you and leans down kissing you roughly. You feel her tongue against your lip and you couldn’t help but open your mouth more. Her tongue moves in and you accidentally let out a small moan to which she reacts deepening the kiss. Her hand slides down the side of your body, touching you, feeling all of you in it’s path, stopping to grab your ass. (which she obviously has a thing for cause that’s the second time tonight but fuck you don’t mind at all, like _at all_.) She stars kissing the spot under your jaw and sucking at it ever so roughly a few times. She slowly starts to grind into you and shit you are so turned on right now. You feel her bite down on the same spot and a groan escapes your throat to which she takes as a sign to do it again. Feeling her against you and her mouth stuck on your neck you couldn’t stop your body from lifting up ever so slightly, grinding into her slow movements and you hear her catch her breath close to your ear, sending shivers down your body. Her face comes back up to your and she grinds into you harder before she starts kissing you again. You can’t help it anymore, you lose the little amount of self control you had left and grin up into her hard over and over again. Your hands trail up her back and reach her bra. You start to unbuckle it and thank god you managed to do it on the first try because the desire to touch her is _killing_ you. You slide it off of her and push yourself up along with her, still kissing. Her hands go to cup your face again, pulling you as close as possible to her but once you part your lips from hers you see her eyes filled with desire. Shit that only makes you want her even more. You search her face for a second but move away from her lips and onto her neck, kissing it like she was doing to you only minutes ago. You start tracing open mouthed kisses down her neck, down her collarbone, down her chest. Meanwhile your hands started making their way up her waist, up her stomach, till they reached where they wanted to go. You start palming her breasts and she lets out a moan. (which totally gave you a confidence boost because fuck yeah.) You start kissing your way up her neck again and stop at her ear.

“You stopped moving.”

You giggle in her ear and she shivers from it.

“Fuck.”

You giggle, this time into her neck and your hands move from her breast down to her ass, grabbing it as you start to grind slowly into her. Her hips quickly countering your movement.

-

Fuck, okay what the hell. How is this girl having this effect on you? You have never been at this level of turned on and you’re just grinding onto each other, what the fuck are you Karnstein, a 13 year old school boy? You feel her start to kiss down your neck again until she reaches your breasts, sucking on them lightly. _Fuck_. You feel her tongue start to play with your nipple and good god what is happening to you. Your hands dig into her hair from the sheer pleasure. This needs to change, you are _not_ a bottom god damn it. No matter how fucking good this feels. You push her shoulders, getting her back down on the bed and you start kissing her roughly, your hands wandering down her body to the waist band on her underwear. You stick your hand under it and start pulling it down, biting her lower lip and slightly tugging it, making her let out a small whimper. You manage to take her panties off and you keep kissing her, this time more passionately and quick. Your hand tracing it’s way down her bare stomach making her shudder under you before you reach where you want to touch. You touch her ever so smoothly and her head tilts back as she takes in a quick breath. You bite your lip and start rubbing up and down her folds as you start kissing her neck again. Her breath is heaving and you start to quicken your pace before you flick your thumb over her clit.

“Oh fuck.”

She let’s out between now heavy breaths and you hover over her lips, looking at her. Her eyes are closed with ecstasy and you take her by surprise sliding a finger into her. She takes in a deep breath and her eyes shoot open, looking into yours that are still hovering over her. You start to thrust into her and add another finger making her clutch your bed sheets and moaning ever so softly. She stars to match your rhythm as you continue to thrust into her and you move your legs to have one of her thighs between yours. You start to grind into her thigh and fuck you can feel how wet you were from earlier. You pick up your pace knowing she probably wants you to go faster now and she starts heaving louder, occasionally moaning. For some reason neither of you has looked away from the other being in such a close distance and you can feel her breath on your lips. You lover yourself more and with the motion your bodies are making your lips keep brushing against each other. Then you feel her breath hitch and she let’s out a whimper that motivates you to go deeper into her. You know she’s almost there. Her eyes are telling you this, so you start to thrust faster and occasionally curl your fingers inside her, making her moans start to get louder until you see her tilt her head back and let out one last loud moan. Her body starts to shudder under you and after a few seconds she tilts her head back to look at you and her eyes look into yours and down at your lips before she kisses you slow and deeply. You take out your fingers from inside her and once she stops kissing you you suck on them, not staring away from her flushed face.

“Wine and chocolate isn’t the only thing you taste like.” You kiss her and start to speak against her lips. “But you’re delicious.”

She smiles into the kiss and swats at your shoulder playfully.

“My kinda dessert.”

“Glad you enjoyed yourself so much.”

“Oh I did, but I thought you said you weren’t easily pleased?”

You smirk and god you love teasing this girl. She slides from under you and gives you a quick kiss, lingering near your lips after she’s done.

“Who said I was done?”

She flips the two of you over and when she’s on top of you she smiles and tucks some hair behind her ear. If only you had known how wrong you were about that. 

Tonight’s gonna be a _long_ night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE 1ST TIME I EVER WRITE SMUT AND I AM DYING. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS. WHAT HAVE I DONE.
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)


	4. Early Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys, i've been hella busy with college but i'm done with finals! So here you go!
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/

> _ Strangers:(noun) _
> 
> _ A person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar.  _
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

You wake up, hearing the sound of cars starting to drive by. The city can be a great place, minus the whole constant traffic during the day thing but you’ve always kind of liked being able to hear people nearby. It’s a nice reminder that you’re not alone. Speaking of which, you’re not alone right now either. Your eyes are still closed but you can feel some weight on your chest. _Oh right, a girl_. You take in some air and the sweet smell of coconut shampoo comes along with it. You can feel her warm body against yours and your heart is beating in a weird way. Once you open your eyes you realize who’s snuggled up to you. It’s that girl you were texting last night. _Right, she actually came._ You stare down at her, her head resting against your chest and you can see her back rise and fall calmly as she breaths. You move a bit to try and slide out of bed but she wraps an arm around your waist and slightly tugs you close. You settle back into the position you were earlier but lilt your head to watch the girl as she keeps sleeping. You scoff as you smirk and end up just closing your eyes, trying to drift back to sleep. _Whatever, maybe you can keep this girl here just for a bit. She can leave later._

-

You’re holding onto something warm and at first you don’t question it and nuzzle yourself closer to it, but once you feel it slightly move under you your eyes shoot open. You stay still but your eyes are darting all over the place, trying to take whatever it is you’re doing in.  

  _Okay your in a room, that’s good. The sun is out, that’s bad. There’s a person next to you, that’s...okay I guess. She’s a she (woah a hot she), that’s lucky._ **_She_ **_is naked, oh boy. You’re also naked, oh no. You’re somewhere that isn’t your room with a girl you don’t really know who is naked while you’re naked and it’s already day time which means you stayed over and fuck fuck fuck._

You start to slowly and carefully detach from this girl who you now remember is Carmilla, the random hottie who accidentally sexted you last night, and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse she starts waking up. _Crap._

“Hey.”

Carmilla grumbles and turns to her side. You’re heart starts beating faster when you feel her warm bare body against yours and your face is getting hotter and hotter. 

“Umm...I uh, I have to go.”

“Oh.”

She opens one of her eyes while still having a bunched up sleepy face. _Ha, cute._

“You know, I thought you’d want to sleep more, having tired me out last night an all. How are you up so early?”

You blush harder. “Umm sorry, I just--I have to get back before anyone notices I’m gone.” You start sliding off of her, covering yourself as best as you can. “I’ll uh-i’ll just head out. You can keep sleeping.” You say with awkward hang gestures as you start putting your underwear back on.

For a second there you think you see Carmilla looking at you _(which can she like not do that right now. Jesus.)_ before she starts getting up herself. She pulls on some underwear and slides on a t-shirt as she walks towards you. You tried your hardest not to look but damn she’s just--wow. 

“It’s fine, I have to wake up anyway.”

You give her an awkward tight smile as you slide on your dress.

“Here...Let me.” 

She gestures to the back of your dress and you turn around, feeling her finger tips on your back _(oh god)_ before she slides the zipper up. 

“Thanks.”

She gives u a small grin before she steps out of the room. You slump forward finally huffing out some air. _How could you do this Laura? Casual sex with a stranger is so not you. But she’s a hot stranger, also a very good kisser and strangely very comfortable to sleep with in the nude…Oh god, you slept in the nude, with a stranger, a stranger that left the room like a while ago--shit right._ You step out of the room and see her stretching her arms in the most adorable ( _and kinda sexy)_ way. 

“What?”

You realize you were staring with a stupid smile on your face and you immediately feel embarrassed. 

“Uh-nothing just um-.”

“Don’t hurt yourself, cutie.”

She smirks at you as she open her fridge and takes out some milk.

“I hope you like cereal...I haven’t had the time to shop so…”

“What?” _Wait she’s making you breakfast? Well technically anyway._ ”No, cereal’s fine.”

“Great.”

She hands you a bowl and starts making her own. You start to fidget in place and continue to stare at every move Carmilla makes. _It’s strange_ , _she’s so...normal. You kinda like that._ You see her sit in a stool by the kitchen island and she takes a spoonful of cereal as she stares at you. You snap out of it and lean your elbows on the island as you keep eating. It’s quiet between the two of you for a while until you finally speak up.

“Sooo..”

“Sooo?”

“Last night was...fun.”

“Fun?”

“You know what I mean.”

“If what you mean is the _best night of your life_ then yes, I know what you mean.”

She smirks taking in another spoonful of her cereal.

“Pfff.” _She sure is confident_.

She raises and eyebrow at you.

“Ok fine, so it was great. No need to brag about it.”

“You had me working all night, I think I have bragging rights.”

“I thought you said you could handle it?”

“I did.”

The two of you are staring at each other until Carmilla ducks her head trying to hide her smile. You smile two before ducking your own head and taking another spoonful of cereal.

You try and distract yourself from looking at her and start looking around the place. Last night it was pretty dark and you weren’t really paying attention to where you where. The walls are nice old fashion bricks on one side while the other wall has a bunch of instruments hanging. The floor is this polished dark wood and it’s not exactly clean but it still looks nice. There’s a big window with a nice view of the city. _Not bad._ At night it may have seemed a bit creepy out but the view looks nice, a few trees and buildings. 

“This is a nice place.”

“Hm? Oh the apartment? Yeah I have a thing for old buildings. In a way I’m a city girl.”

“Oh, okay.”

You see Carmilla fidget with her spoon in her bowl for a few seconds before she speaks up again.

“What about you, where are _you_ from?”

“Me?”

“You see anybody else here, cupcake?” she smirks.

You bunch up your face annoyed but answer anyway. “I’m more of a small town girl.” you look down at your bowl. “but I live like 20 minutes out of the city.”

“Oh.” she pauses. “I still don’t get how I’ve never seen you around before.”

You scoff. “I don’t really hang out much.” You put your bowl down. “Have you seen my phone?”

“It’s in the bedroom.”

“Thanks.”

You go get your phone and curse when you realize it’s dead. _Fuck I hope dad hasn’t called. Hell I hope he hasn’t waken up yet. He’s totally gonna freak out if he-_

“Something wrong?”

You turn to see Carmilla’s leaning on the doorway with a worried face.

“What? No-I just...ran out of battery.”

“You can use mine if you have to.”

“No it’s fine. I should go.”

You walk up to where Carmilla’s standing and face her under the door frame.

“I uh...you um…”

She hums in question with an amused face as you struggle to put words together.

“Thanks for not being an old man.”

Carmilla chuckles. “No problem. Thanks for not being...uh...Elsie was it?”

“You _seriously_ can’t remember her name?”

“I’m not very good with names and all that.”

“So I’m guessing you don’t even know mine.” _Yup total player._

Carmilla seems deep in thought for a moment and you’re not sure why she’s looking at you with no expression but her eyes look kind of...gentle?

“Laura.”

“What?”

“Your name. It’s Laura.”

You open your mouth but you’re speechless. _She does remember your name. Carmilla actually remembered your name._ She’s got the biggest smirk you’ve seen on her so far and you can’t believe you can’t come up with words to tell her off or anything. A car honks in the distance and you automatically look to the window where you spot a clock.

  **8:37am**

“Oh crap.”

“What?”

“I have to go.”

You brush past her and skip to the door putting your boots on.

“I uh- it was nice meeting you.”

Carmilla leans on her bedroom door frame and crosses her arms over her chest as she smiles. _Damn she’s gorgeous._ You smile back and quickly turn to open the door and dart out. You exit the building and hail a cab. _Dad’s gonna kill me if he finds out I snuck out._  

-

Once Laura closed the door you walked up to it and opened it, leaning your head out to the hall. _She’s gone. Wait, what the hell? Why did I even check?_ Maybe you didn’t want her to leave. _At least not yet._ It’s not your fault you find this girl so interesting. She’s...different. She’s cute. A dork who get’s embarrassed after sex and starts to ramble a lot. You chuckle to yourself and start walking towards your bedroom but stop and stare at the window. _Ehh what the hell, I’ll just check to see she got out okay._ You head to the same window from last night and see her talking to a cab driver through the window before  nodding and skipping two steps to the back door, getting in. 

“God what a dork.”

You smile wide and head back to your room, flopping on your bed with a long sigh. You totally lied earlier about having to get up.

  _Thank god for working afternoons._

-

“Thanks for the ride, Sir!”

You slam the door closed and dart to your front door. _Dad’s car is still in the drive way, good._ You quickly look through your keys and open the door as quietly as you can looking around to an empty house. _Phew, safe._ You close the door gently and hang your keys as you slide your shoes off. You start to walk up the stairs trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Laura!”

  _Crap._

“Heeey daaaad.”

“Glad to see your up already!” He stares at your outfit confused. “Did you fall asleep without changing again?”

“What? Uh...yeah...totally. I was so tired, I completely forgot.”

“Hmm al righty then, just get changed and come back down. I’m making pancakes!”

You smile wide. “Really?? Great! I’ll be right down.”

You rush up the stairs. Your dad hasn’t made you his pancakes in so long. It’s the first time in weeks since he’s actually given you this much time in the morning. You head inside your room and start to undress. You struggle at first to un zip your dress and you remember how Carmilla helped you zip it up moments ago. You bite your lip and finish undressing as you put your phone to charge. You head inside the bathroom to shower. _Can’t face dad smelling like sex._

Once you’re done you head back down in some sweatpants and a tank top.

“Took you long enough.”

“Sorry I wanted to shower first.”

“Well here you go. Hope I haven’t lost my magic touch.”

You dig into the pancakes and smile once the taste starts to seep in.

“Mmm that’s impossible dad.”

Mr. Hollis laughs and starts to wash the dishes. He doesn’t let anyone else clean up if he’s the one who was cooking. It’s another one of his weird rules, just like being the one who drives. Once you’re done he takes your plate and wipes his finger over the syrup and sucks his fingers with a pop. 

“Can’t let anything go to waste.”

You laugh as your dad washes your dish. _Yeah, you miss having him around the house like this._

-

“Ngggg.”

You wake up again to your alarm going off. 

Ugh. _Work_.

You roll out of your bed and into the bathroom where you start the shower as you start to undress with your eyes practically still closed. You step in under the water.

“Fuck that’s cold.” you say under your breath as you start to tie up your hair in a messy bun. You splash your face trying to wake up. _You hate mornings (even though technically it’s already like 1pm.)_ You finish up and dry yourself before picking out some clothes. Leather pants, a sleeveless shirt and your usual boots. You head to the kitchen and drink some soy milk out of the carton as you sit down on a stool by the kitchen island. _You’re still pretty early, why not mope around for a bit?_ You rest the milk carton on the island and furrow your brow when you notice what’s behind it. A smirk slowly grows on your face.

“That dork.”

-

“Laura!” your dad yells out from his room. “Remember you’re going with me to a meeting today! It’s very important!”

“Yeah dad, I know!”

_You hate meetings, but your dad insist on making you go almost every damn day. So what can a girl do? At least you get to spend some time with him out of the house, even though you wish it was going out for ice cream or something._ You sigh and start getting ready.

“Sweetie! Don’t forget to bring your coat! News said it’d be raining today. Gotta keep warm!”

“Okaaaay!”

You button up your jeans and sit on your bed to start and tie your shoes. Once you bend down and have your shoelaces between your fingers you stare at your phone on the night stand. _Right, I should turn that on already._ You reach for your phone and turn it on, putting it back where it was as you go to tie your shoelaces again.

You’re phone dings.

_Must be LaF._

It dings again.

  _O..kay?_

Then again.

“God, calm down I’m coming already!”

 You reach for your phone furrowing your brow curious to see what LaF wants when you read your text messages.

Carmilla(2:15pm): Don’t mean to bother you

Carmilla(2:15pm): but I think you forgot something.

Carmilla(2:15pm): -download image-

You press the download button and your eyes open wide.

“Laura! You almost done? It’s time to go!”

You stare at the picture of Carmilla pointing at your coat on her kitchen island where you threw it last night before things got heated.

_Crap._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning thing is from a post on tumblr that inspired me to do this fic.
> 
>  
> 
> Here's a link:  
> http://weprotectthose.tumblr.com/post/115203960209/allison-i-love-you-insp


	5. Bar Shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each of the girls seek help and support in their friends and end up getting exactly what they kept saying they "didn't want".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's longer than most i think and i STILL cut it in half. BUT I HOPE U LIKE IT. smut is on its way!

> _ Crush: (noun) _
> 
> _ a brief but intense infatuation for someone. _

__

 

* * *

 

 

“Laura?!”

“Yeah dad! Give me a few more minutes!”

  _Shit. Oh no. Oh boy._

Okay, so _maybe_ you completely forgot about your coat because you left in such a rush. The thing is, it’s not like really _your_ coat, it’s actually your dad’s and it’s your favorite so you don’t really have anymore coats for yourself. Okay, _you do_ but not as nice and cozy as that one which you basically wear all the time when it’s cold out, which your dad would totally notice and ask about since you were literally wearing it last night for the dinner. _Freaking fudge balls, you’re screwed._ You quickly text Carmilla back in your panic for a solution.

-

“Fuck I really need to go shopping.” you say as you stuff your mouth with Famous Amos cookies and throw away the bag/wrapper. You should probably get a decent meal later. You grab your keys from the counter when you feel your phone vibrate on your back pocket.

Laura(2:17pm): Omg

Laura(2:17pm): I really need that coat back. Fuck.

Carmilla(2:18pm): u know, u didn’t have to leave ur coat as an excuse to comeback ;)

Laura(2:18pm): it’s not! I really left it! And I really REALLY need it like ASAP.

Carmilla(2:19pm): why the rush? Can’t wait to see me again?

You chuckle as you take the coat and bring it with you as you leave your apartment and head downstairs.

Laura(2:20pm): Dang it Carmilla! It’s important! 

You put her coat on as you start walking down the street. _Important huh?_ You feel something in one of the pockets in it and take it out curiously. _A card?_

Jack Hollis, Chairman/CEO at Le Fanu Industries. 

_Who the hell is Jack Hollis?_ You shove it back in the coats pocket and head out. It’s pretty chilly today and very cloudy but you’re not one to get cold. You kind of like bad weather, not many people are on the streets. Your phone starts to ring and you see that it’s Laura.

“Cupcaaake, what a surprise.” you smirk.

“Carm, what are we gonna do?! I need that coat like right now, but I can’t go get it cause my dad will notice and if he notices he’s gonna start asking and if he asks I’m gonna get caught in my lie from last night and I’ll be toast and I’ll never see the light of day again and-”

“Woah, slow down there, speedy.”

You hear Laura take in a deep breath and whine. “Help.”

You stop walking and look over at a cab parked by the street. _I’m gonna regret this_.

“Where are you right now?”

“In my house, why?”

“Where’s that?”

“Why do you wanna know?”

“For Christ’s sake cupcake you already know where _I_ live, just tell me.”

“Marsway Street, 214. Why?”

“Stay there.”

You hang up and head to the cab across the street. _The things you do for this girl._

-

“Laura! What’s taking so long? It’s gonna start to rain soon.”

“On my way!” 

Shit just say you lost it or something. Come on Laura you’re a smart girl. You start heading downstairs when you hear someone knocking on the door.

“I’ll get it!” your dad yells out as he goes to open the door. 

  _No. Way._

"Um...hey.”

"Hi, can I help you?”

_What the fuck is Carmilla doing here?!_

“Actually I just came by to talk to Laura for a bit. It’s important.”

Your dad stares at you and you try to go from your extremely surprised face to a happy one.

“You know this girl, Laura?”

“Yeah _dad_! She uh--she’s a friend of mine, Carmilla.”

“Nice to meet you _Mr. Laura’s dad_.” 

Carmilla grins and holds a hand out for your dad to take, which he does.

“Likewise... _Laura’s Friend Carmilla_.”

At first he has a hesitant face but it changes into a big smile as does Carmilla’s. 

“Well uhhh I guess I’ll just leave you to to talk then. You’ve got 5 minutes Laura.”

Your dad walks back into the kitchen and leaves the two of you alone. You turn around to face Carmilla and start whisper yelling.

“What are you doing here?!”

“Saving your ass.” she takes a step back and grabs something from the side. It’s your coat. You smile wide and jump up in excitement.

“Oh my god, Carmilla.” You put the coat on excited and finally you can stop worrying. You stare at Carmilla with a tight smile and she puts a hand to her ear dramatically as if waiting to hear your words. 

“Thank you.”

Her smirk grows and you quickly pull her into a tight hug, catching her by surprise apparently since she flinched at first before patting you on the back with one hand.

“I owe you one big time.”

“Good to know.”

You squint your eyes at her and she just keeps smirking. _Damn that smirk is just-gah!_

“Soo... _small town girl_ huh?”

Carmilla raises her eyebrow as she gestures towards your big house. You open your house trying to defend yourself but who are you kidding, you have a maid on most days for Pete’s sake (Al though that’s totally since dad is never around to clean and stuff and she’s actually kind of like a good friend to you all in all).

“It’s...a long story.”

“Sure it is, cupcake.”

“No really I-”

“Laura it’s time to get going.” 

Your dad pops up and stands next to the two of you, staring at you, at Carmilla and then back at you.

“Sorry to cut your chat short ladies but you know, places to go, people to see.”

“Don’t worry about it I was just heading out anyway. Sorry for dropping by so sudden, Mr. Laura’s dad.”

Your dad chuckles. “Call me Jack.”

“Jack as in Jack Hollis?”

“The one and only.” he stares down at his watch and steps between the two of you, standing outside. “Al right now, times up kids.”

Your dad walks to the car as he fiddles with his keys. You step outside the house and close the door as you stare at Carmilla with unintentional heart eyes. _I’m totally just staring, nothing else. I swear._

“Thanks so much, like seriously. Thank you.”

“Yeah well don’t get used to it.”

You bunch up your face trying to control your good mood but _ah what the heck._ You lean in quick on your toes and give her a kiss on the cheek before jogging away to your dad’s car. You turn around half way there and grin at a frozen Carmilla who’s still standing in place. 

“Bye.”

“Bye, cutie.”

You grab the door handle still staring at her. Your dad watches the whole embarrassing interaction, studying the situation before he roles down the front window.

“Hey Carmilla! How’d you get here?”

“Um, I took a cab.”

“Well you need a ride?”

You turn around surprised to stare at your dad who’s leaning on the passenger seat to see her through the window.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude. I’d probably get you guys out of your route.”

“Nonsense! Get in!”

You stare back at Carmilla as she hesitates with a blank face but ends up walking towards the car. You hadn’t gotten the chance to fully look at Carmilla till now and damn she looks good. Business casual suites her real nice. She’s got some tight leather pants, a black shirt under a black blazer. _Man she sure makes dark look so so good._ You open the back door and step inside first. Your dad’s always taught you that it’s polite to sit with guests instead of making them feel like a cab ride while they sit in the back alone. _Common courtesy or whatever._ Carmilla steps in and closer the door behind her, giving your dad a tight smile through the review mirror.

“Al right ladies, buckle up.”

Your dad starts backing out of the driveway and as the drive goes by Carmilla scoots a bit closer to you, your knees touching ever so subtly. You try and look out the window to hide your pink cheeks. _God you are so weak Hollis, control yourself._

“So Carmilla, where you headed?”

“You know that big park in town? With the lake?”

“Yeah I know it.”

“Well the building across from it.”

“By Channel 9?”

“Exactly.”

“Okidok, Channel 9 it is!”

Your dad turns up the radio as he puts in one of his pop culture CD’s. _Oh no, not now dad. Not with her here._ You hear the beat start up. _Please no._ Beyoncé starts singing the first verse and you’re slowly getting ready for how terribly Carmilla’s gonna judge your genes. Your dad starts moving his shoulders as Beyoncé continues to sing. _God please._ He starts to swing his head around and you’ve lost all hope. _The chorus is here._

“ Cus if ya like it then ya shoulda’ put a RANG ON IT! If ya like it then ya shoulda’ put a RANG ON IT! WOAA-OO-OOO-OOOOO-OOO!”

_Not the hand dad no please._ He starts to wiggle his hand in the air as he continues to swing his head around and you know he’s a proud parent but why did it have to be this way today. _Why?!_

“Pfff.” 

You hear Carmilla try and hold her laughter but she’s covering her mouth and hiding her face and you smack her thigh while glaring at her but she just ends up settling for a big smile and giggles.

“My dad is amazing okay?”

“Absolutely.”

Your dad looks over by the review mirror and Carmilla gives him a thumbs up to which only makes him ecstatic and more motivated to dance. _He totally likes her._

“He kind of reminds me of someone I know.”

_Someone she knows? Who the heck? Is it me? Oh no, I’ve just lost all my sex appeal in her eyes. My life is ruined. Still, Carmilla’s smiling a lot, so it can’t all be that bad._ You try and concentrate on something other than her and decide to lean your chin on your palm as you stare out the window. Suddenly you feel Carmilla’s hand on yours and your eyes open wide. You turn your head, chin still in palm as you stare down at your hands. She toys with your hand for a while and you feel your blush come right back to your cheeks.

Okay, maybe your life isn’t _totally_ ruined.

“We’re almost at the Channel 9 building!” 

Your dad says turning his head to look back at the two of you and you instantly flinch your hand away. _Crap, sorry. Nervous automatic reaction._

“You know what, you can just drop me off right here.”

“You sure? Okay well then let me pull over in a sec.”

As your dad pulls over to the side he parks the car and waits for Carmilla to step out. _Dang it, well so much for a flirty car ride._ You’re about to turn your head to face Carmilla and say goodbye when you feel her hand slide down your thigh. _Oh god._ She leans closer to your ear.

“See you around, cupcake.”

Her raspy voice makes the hairs on on your whole body stand and as she leans closer to you you feel her hand slightly slip to your inner thigh. _OH.MY.GOD._ She squeezes your thigh before pulling her hand back and reaching for the door handle. She gives you a quick kiss on your temple and opens the door. When she steps out she leans down and looks at your dad.

“Thanks for the ride Mr. Hollis.”

“No problem kiddo. _Don’t be a stranger_.”

Carmilla grins and closes the door as she starts walking away. You watch as she crosses the street with a lot of traffic smoothly and once she’s out of sight you sit back in your seat facing forward.

“Mmmmmhhhmmm.” Your dad says as he stares at you with his hand on the passenger seat.

“What?”

“ _Friend of mine_ , huh?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Mhm. I know my little girl better than you think.”

“Shut up and put your damn Birtney Spears on.”

“Hahaha! I’ll let that one slide, just because I know I’m right.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest and huff out some air angrily as your dad continues to laugh and starts driving again. _He’s not right, I mean it’s just a crush._

_Totally just a crush._

- 

You’re at the studio managing the sound for tomorrow’s talk show and you haven’t been able to stop smiling to yourself all damn evening. Laura’s dad is just as much of a dork as she is, and it’s hilarious to see where she get’s it from. You can’t help but think about how much he reminded you of Kirsch in the car. Those two are like fruit from the same tree. 

Once you’re done you leave to walk back home. It’s a nice walk and the streets are wet so the sound of the car tires driving by is relaxing to you. You feel your phone start to vibrate in your back pocket again and you quickly take it out to see who’s calling. 

**Puppy K**

You smile and pick it up.

“What do you want now beef cake?”

“What? Can’t a bro call his best bud?”

“No.”

“Aww come oooon! I’m sorry I tricked you into coming to my party last night. You had fun, admit it dude.”

“Your party sucked. I had more fun afterwards.”

“More fun? _Totally impossible_ , what could be more fun than beer pong and playing drunk ‘Just Dance’? Huh? HUH??”

“A lot of things….Mainly cute girls.”

“You got it on with a hottie again?! Where do you hide this game bro?!”

“I don’t hide it, it just comes naturally.”

“Not fair man. So...who was it this time?”

“Aaaa I’m sure you want to hear all about it.”

“Well DUH. Spill it angry hottie! Was it Sam from the party??”

“I don’t know who that is, but no.”

“You don’t ever know who anyone is. So rude.”

“Whatever, I could care less about those girls.” you pause and Laura slips into your mind. “but this girl...it’s strange...i actually remembered her name.”

“Wait what?! For real?! Details, now!”

You grin and shake your head even though he can’t see you. “Well for starters her name is Laura.”

“Woah, you _do_ remember her name. Must have been one hell of a babe.”

“She’s a total dork. You’d love her.”

“Woah, wait a second. Did you just say something normal and not like ‘uww well her tits were nice’ or ‘eeh she was too loud’??”

“You sound like you’re implying I’m a dick to women.”

“You ARE a dick to women. You never call them back, you never remember their names. I mean one time you literally slept with one chick, forgot about her and then slept with her again the same week WITHOUT REMEMBERING IT WAS THE SAME CHICK.”

“Okay, that was a bad week though. I was very stressed.”

“Whatever dude. Still a dick move.”

“Do you wanna hear about this girl or not? Because I will hang the fuck up if you keep being an ass, Kirsch.”

“MMMMMMGAAAH FINE. What was she like?”

“Short, long light brown hair, long lashes and a total cutie pie.”

“Uwwwwwwwww so is she a keeper then?”

“What? No. You know I’m not like that.”

“Oh come on, lighten up dude. She clearly left a good impression.”

“Well...yeah but-”

“HAHAAAAAAA Carmilla the wild babe Karnstein actually LIKED a girl. I can’t get over this, we need to go celebrate.”

“There will be _no_ celebrating and I do _not_ like this girl. It was just...the usual game. Just drop it, Brody.”

“Fine whatever, be that way you grumpy care bear.”

“Kirsch.”

“Okay okay, just tell me how you met this little hottie.”

You role your eyes but start to tell him about everything anyway while you continue walking home. You feel a small smile form across your face as you think back at everything that’s happened. _Laura, huh?_

“Well...it’s actually quite a funny story.”

-

“What do you mean you _haven’t_ texted her since?!”

LaFontaine is scolding you again. _People would be surprised as to how much they parent me. I swear they’re worse than my dad._

“It was just a one night stand LaF. She’s probably already forgotten about me, believe me.”

“Don’t you dare give me that crap. Laura Hollis you freaking tiny gay idiot!”

“I mean _technically_ we didn’t even exchange numbers on purpose. How am I supposed to know if she _actually_ wanted my number? She didn’t have to ask for it after we did...you know… _it_.”

“Just text the damn girl already!”

“But it’s been like 3 days. Wouldn’t _she_ have texted _me_ by now?”

“ _Oh my god_ Laura. If the final words she told you were “see you around”, I think she _wanted_ you to contact her again.”

“You really think so? What if she was just being her flirty self? I mean she has slept around with way more girls than just me. She was probably following protocol or something.”

“Laura she went to your fucking house and brought you your damn coat. How do you not see this?!”

You groan loudly as you take a sip of your hot cocoa. Breakfast breaks with LaF are one of your favorite things. It’s almost routine to you guys by now and you’re sure that if it wasn’t for them spending this little amount of time with you you’d be so done with everything. Meeting after meeting with your dad can get to you. Thankfully you always have a few hours to yourself during the day. Spending them with one of your best friends in the world make everything better.

“Whatever LaF. It would just be awkward if I texted her now. She probably thinks I suck.”

“L, I swear, sometimes you make me want to experiment on your little brain just to find out how you can be so damn clueless sometimes.”

“I’ll volunteer if you ever feel up to it.” you shrug and LaF sighs drinking their soda.

“Well either way, we’re taking you out tonight.”

“But-”

“No but’s, L! You need to have some girl and LaF time. Besides, me and Perry wanna celebrate me getting that internship.”

“You got it?!”

“Of course I did. Did you ever doubt my knowledge?”

“Nope, not one bit.” you smile and squeeze their arm. “Congrats LaF.”

“Thanks. So, you, me and Perry tonight. No excuses. I’ll call your dad I swear.”

“No excuses. I’ll be there.”

“Good, pick you up at 9 then.”

-

You get home after work and throw your keys on the kitchen counter before taking your jacket off and dropping yourself on your bed face first.

“Uuuuugh.”

You pull out your phone from your back pocket and lift your face from your pillow to check for notifications.

  _Nothing._

_Why hasn’t this girl come after you yet?? Is she not into you or something?? Maybe something happened to her phone._ You take in a deep breath and exhale slowly as you lie on your bed like that for a few minutes until your phone starts to ring. You would have gotten excited but you know that “Who let the dogs out” ringtone. You pick it up and put it against your ear as you continue to lay flat on your bed.

“What?”

“Don’t tell me you’re moping again.”

“I am not moping, I am _procrastinating_. It’s two very different things, Kirsch.”

“Yeah yeah bull-crap and you know it dude.”

You groan loudly into the phone.

“Still hasn’t called you huh?”

“Who cares?”

“You do you big mushy sap!”

“ _No_ , I _do not_.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say, Grumpy Gay.”

“ _What do you want_ , Kirsch?!”

You lash out. 

“Woah there angry hottie. I’m just here to help a bro out.”

“What do you mean _here_?”

“Open up! It’s bonding time!”

“Ughhh.”

You hang up on him and question wether to stay in bed or let Kirsch in. _What the hell is up with you Karnstein? You don’t get like this over girls. You don’t get like this over anyone. Get the hell up._ You lift yourself off of your bed angrily and storm out of your room to open the front door.

“I knew you’d open up.”

“Get in before I change my damn mind.”

Kirsch steps in and you push the door closed as you go to take a beer out of your fridge, handing one to him.

“So, bro’s night. Just the two of us scouting for babes. What do ya say?”

You think about it for a second. _Wait, why are you thinking about it? Just fucking go Karnstein. Maybe your game is just running low these days. Yeah, maybe a night out is exactly what you need._

“It’s on.”

  _-_

“LaF, the things I do for you.”

You take another shot as LaF and Perry cheer in the background.

“Oh come on, don’t be such a party pooper, L. Girl the hell up!”

They say handing you another shot and surprisingly Perry grabs LaF’s shot and cheers with you. You and LaF stare at each other wide eyed and then back at Perry.

“What? It’s absolutely fine to drink while celebrating.”

You lilt your head, still surprised as you pull up your shot. “Oookay then. Cheers.”

Both of you take the shot and Perry celebrates excited while you on the other hand have a bunched up face from the pure alcohol.

“Perry sure is having a blast.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty excited for me.”

Perry pulls LaF. “Come on, let’s go and start dancing!”

You laugh at LaFontaine being pulled to the dance floor. _Well. So much for not ending up drinking alone at the bar._ Your phone vibrates in your hand and you stare at it confused.

Carmilla(10:43pm): I thought u said u didn’t go out much.

_HOLY SHIT SHE TEXTED YOU, SHE ACTUALLY TEXTED YOU. Wait, how did she know you were out?_ Your eyes widen and you quickly turn around searching the place for a dark yet pale sexy girl to no avail. You look back down at your phone and write back to her.

Laura(10:44pm): Where are u??

Carmilla(10:44pm): Around.

Laura(10:44pm): Around where?? 

Carmilla(10:45pm): I guess you’ll just have to find me.

Laura(10:45pm): not fair, this place is crowded tonight!

Laura(10:47pm): Carm????

Carmilla(10:48pm): u look really cute.

Carmilla(10:48pm): like ‘really’ cute.

Laura(10:48pm): come over. I’ll buy u a drink.

You wait for a reply but she hasn’t answered back yet so you start to stare around before texting her again.

Laura(10:50pm): Carm?? Come on! I REALLY wanna see u!

“I’m right here.”

You turn around to find Carmilla with a smirk, leaning on the bar.

“Carm! Hey!”

You automatically hug her and this time she doesn’t flinch. She actually hugs you back with both arms.

“Hey cutie.”

“...Hey.”

You can’t help but keep smiling at her. She looks...great. Ripped at the knee black pants, silky red sleeveless shirt, red lipstick and a whole lot’a eyeliner.

“So, you lied.”

“Excuse me?”

“About not hanging out.”

“I...I didn’t-I’m not--I’m here celebrating for a friend.”

“ _Really?_ ”

“Yeah! That’s them right there.” you point towards the dance floor and Carmilla follows your finger to were LaF and Perry are goofing off dancing.

“The ginger squad?”

“The one and only.”

The two of you laugh and you’re not sure if you should explain yourself as to why you didn’t text her earlier but she starts talking again.

“I thought I had seen the last of you.”

“No. I wouldn’t want that.”

She quirks and eyebrow and looks at the bar, pointing down at your drink beside you.

“This yours?”

“Yeah, you want one?”

“No.” she grabs your drink and takes a big gulp before handing it over to you with a lipstick stain. “Come on.”

She grabs your hand and guides you to a hallway near the bathroom.

“Why’d you bring me here?”

“I wanted to actually be able to hear you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” she pauses and looks down your body before reaching for your hand, tangling her together with yours. “Plus, I may have wanted us to be alone.”

“Well good thing we’re not at a pub or anything that’s crowded with people.”

She chuckles at your sarcasm and keeps looking down at your linked hands.

“Yeah well,” she intertwines your fingers and tilts her head as she stares back up your body. “Maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now.” Her eyes stop at your lips and you can feel your heart beating harder. She let’s go of your hand and tucks some hair behind your ear, her eyes switching from yours before going back to your lips that you are currently licking. 

“Well...that’s um..that’s tempting.”

She laughs a bit before stepping closer to you and brushing her hand down your arm. 

“That’s kind of what I’m going for.”

She takes one more step and your starting to breath harder. Her face is lingering inches from yours and both of you are silently staring at each others lips. Your forehead bumps into her and you could swear you’re both slightly swaying as she takes a step forward and you a step back, feeling your back against the wall as her hands rest on your waist. _Woah, okay this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you came out tonight but that’s totally TOTALLY fine with you, like no problems at all. Now if only you could get your heart under control right now…_ That plan goes to shit when she pushes her head up slightly, making your own head move up since your foreheads are now touching. You lean forward and she quickly catches your lips in an instant. You’re kissing and you had no idea how much you really missed those damn soft lips until this very moment. The kiss is slow but passionate as if the two of you have been longing for this moment since forever. Carmilla’s hands slide from your waist to your lower back as she pulls you in closer to her, deepening the slow kiss. You stumble forward and slide your hards up her triceps, to her shoulder blades, to the back of her neck as you suck on her lower lip. She steps forward, gently pushing you up against the wall again. One of her hands on your lower back starts sliding up under your shirt, feeling your warm skin against her somewhat cold hand, making you inhale slightly through your nose as her tongue brushes against your lower lip. She teases you but you’re the one who ends up slipping the tongue first to which she quickly responds, digging her nails on your back making you hum in her mouth. 

After that sound she parts her lips from yours and your left longing for more as you keep staring at hers. One of her hands leave your back and comes up to your cheek. She licks her lips as she continues to stare down at you with these intense eyes.

“Wanna get out of here?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)


	6. Milkshakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla doesn't get why she thinks about Laura so much and Laura tries to get some courage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry but also you're welcome. Oh and there's a LOT of texting here.
> 
> (oh and this chapter is pretty long lol.)  
> HAVE SOME GAY FAN FIC BEFORE SEASON 2!!

 

 

> _ Craving: (noun) _
> 
> _ a powerful desire for something. _
> 
>  

* * *

You’re stumbling a little bit while you try and walk through the crowded bar with nothing but Carmilla’s hand guiding you to the exit. Those shots with Perry and LaF really are starting to put a number on you. Nothing you can’t handle though. Being tipsy and making out with girls isn’t anything out of the ordinary right? Besides, it’s Carmilla and it’s not like you haven’t done this sort of thing with her. I mean, to be honest you haven’t actually done this sort of thing in quite a while. Especially after that last girl you dated not liking you drinking so much, but come on. Having to deal with adults with your dad’s job and with friends like LaF and Perry you know how to handle most of your alcohol. 

_Most of it._

The music fades out as you finally step outside of the bar, Carmilla turning once she stops to face you. _Mmm_ _Carmilla. Why is she so attractive?_

“Where should we g-”

You cut her off with a rough kiss but she doesn’t seem to mind at all. You really _really_ enjoy  savoring her lips again. _Ugh she’s just such a good kisser and her lips are just the perfect blend between soft and like meaty. Meaty? Is that the right way to put that?_ _Mmmm._

  _Whatever._

  _-_

You pull Laura to the side of the building by and empty alley as you keep making out messily. _She tastes like hard liquor._ You push her against the wall and Laura groans as she tugs you closer by your front pockets, your lips crashing back into hers. You’re really enjoying yourself tonight. This girl seems to continue having that effect on you, and you don’t mind it at all. Your hands go to her waist and start sliding up her sides, lifting up her shirt as they move. Laura whines as she pulls you closer by the collar of your shirt, her teeth biting into your lower lip before slightly pulling it. 

“Fuck.”

Laura grins while biting her lip. Her hands rushing to cup your face as she pulls you back in to her. The kiss starts getting less rough and more passionate and your hands start sliding up her sides again, rolling up her shirt when her phone starts to ring. She hums into the kiss but doesn’t pull away. The phone stops ringing so your hands wonder up her ribs, to her breast, squeezing ever so hungrily. Laura’s lips part from yours for a few seconds as she stares down at them. Her hands rushing down to your pants as she tries to hurriedly un button them. She dives back in to kissing you as she finally get’s the button out of the way and her hands slide down reaching for the zipper when her phone stars ringing again. She angrily groans before separating from you and your lips try and follow her for a second wanting more.

“Fuck, gimme a sec.”

She starts to pull out her phone from her back pocket and squints her eyes as she looks at the screen before picking it up.

“What?!”

She listens to whoever is calling with a angry but concentrated face.

“Wait what??”

You roll your eyes and grab her by her waist again pulling her body against yours. She quickly looks back up at you, phone in ear as she chews on her bottom lip.

“Yeah, I know.”

You start leaving open mouth kisses down her jaw, down her neck as she throws her head back shutting her eyes.

“Okay. Okay. Stay right there.”

She quickly hangs up and drops her head back in front of yours as she tucks her phone in her back pocket again. She stares at you with heavy lidded eyes as she takes in a deep breath.

“What is it?”

She huffs air through her nose slumping a little before giving you a long slow kiss. She pulls back but her lips linger near you.

“I have to go.”

You open your eyes from their lust filled stare as you pull your head back to fully look at her face.

“What??”

“Ughh my friend’s wasted. I have to go help out.”

You stand there utterly shocked. _Seriously?_

“Yeah, ugh I’m so sorry!”

Oops you said that out loud. Laura’s hands slide down your arms as she starts stepping away, her finger tips brushing against yours before you lose touch.

“Sorry.” she bunches up her face apologetically as she keeps stepping away, walking backwards, her hands behind her back. “It was nice seeing you again.” 

She gives you a shy grin before turning around to head back inside the bar. 

_What.The.Fuck._

Seriously? The hell? A girl just fucking left you hanging. YOU _, Carmilla Karnstein_. _This can’t be fucking right._

-

You whine as you storm your way through the crowd towards where LaF said they’d be. Perry is drunk out of her mind when you get there and is currently twirling LaFontaine’s hair.

“You do know how beauuuutiful you are, don’t you?”

“Yes Perr, for the fifteenth time I know.”

Lafontaine turns their face to you once you’re only a few steps away.

“Ohthankgod, where were you, L???”

“I was...occupied...just!-let me lend you a hand.”

You step beside them and they give you a judging look as if they’re trying to understand what you meant. You pull one of Perry’s arms over your shoulder and help LaF drag her outside to the truck. Once your outside you walk past the alley you where just in and frown when you see Carmilla’s no longer there. You sigh and continue down the sidewalk to LaF’s truck where they take out their keys with their free hand, beeping the alarm off before looking at you.

“Are you al right?”

“I’m _fine_.”

LaF raises their eyebrows before reaching to open the back door. “Whatever you say.”

You help them place Perry in the back seat and buckle her up. You sit down next to Perry who rests her head on your lap as she mumbles about your jeans being so perfectly soft. LaF gets in their seat and starts to drive off to their apartment. Half of the drive there is in awkward silence as you angrily stare out the window while stroking Perry’s curls. 

“Okay, what turned your Laurameter on ‘aggressively gay and cranky’?”

“I am not aggressively gay and cranky….I’m just...not in the best mood right now.”

“Well why is that?”

You look at LaF with the corner of your eye before slumping down and sighing.

“You did it again.”

“Did what?”

You glare at them through the review mirror and their face changes as they totally know what you mean.

“Oh god, we cock-blocked you again?? I’m so sorry dude! I thought you just ran off to talk to your dad on the phone or something.”

You scoff and shrug. “It’s fine. You guys come first anyway.”

“Mmmmm still, my bad L.”

“Don’t worry about it but you sooo owe me.”

You put your head back against the headrest and grunt loudly.

“I was with that girl who sexted me.”

LaFontaine instantly slams down on the breaks making Laura tense up and automatically claw on to Perry on her lap so she wouldn’t fall.

“What the hell LaF?!?”

LaF turns in their seat.

“You were with the only person you’ve frickle frackled since Danny and you LEFT HER?!”

“You kept calling me!”

“You could have said something!”

“Yeah sure let me just explicitly tell my friend i’m with my one night stand while I stand right in front of her.It’ll just be one sec.” you say sarcastically.

“Okay, so maybe not like that but come on!” 

“It doesn’t matter LaF! Let’s just get Perry home before she barfs on me.”

LaF starts doing a U-turn with a determined face.

“LaFontaine! What the hell are you doing?!”

“We’re going back!”

“LaF! She’s long gone! Plus we’re already basically here!”

LaF stops the car and sighs doing yet another U-turn.

“….Fine.”

“Thank you.” You let out a bit angrily. 

You don’t want to be reminded about how you haven’t exactly had sex with anyone else in months. Sure you’ve had your adventures and intense make outs here and there. You’re not a prude or anything but you just never really got the chance to get to that. It would always lead to LaF and Perry interrupting or you getting to drunk or you having to leave early because you worked the next morning. Ugh, right now thinking about how you were totally about to do things in an alley behind a bar out of pure sexual rush with a very sexually arousing Carmilla, isn’t exactly helping you feel better about all of this.

  _Ugh whyyyy._

  _-_

“Another bourbon?”

You nod at the bartender as you swallow the last bit of liquor in your glass. _Fucking seriously. Who would stir a girl up so much to then leave then there? I mean come on, I’m totally worth it. I’m a total babe right? Nobody would just back out on me like that, what the hell?_ You take the new glass of bourbon and start drinking it as you continue to have all this turmoil going on in your head. Kirsch finally finds you an nudges you.

“Hey wingman! You’re not exactly doing your job right.”

“Shut up Kirsch.”

“Haha so have you scored tonight?”

You scoff and look away from him as you take another sip of your drink.

“Can’t find a lady?”

Your head spins back to glare at him but he only laughs.

“I found a lady but she bailed on me.”

_“Ohhhh_ really? Well help me look around! Maybe we’ll find some hotties for the two of us.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

You take another sip and Kirsch looks at you surprised.

“What?? _You_ don’t _feel like it_? That’s so not like you dude.”

“Just leave me alone and go drool over some girl somewhere, will you?!”

“Uwww someone’s rattled up from getting bailed on.”

You slam your glass on the bar and turn to face Kirsch.

“I am perfectly capable of getting another girl whenever the hell I desire. So why don’t you just get off my back.”

He raises his hands up in surrender before turning around to get in the crowd. He walks in reverse and leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Whatever, but just so you know, that chick by the lamp there is totally checking you out.”

You look towards the lamp and see a dark skinned girl looking at you. Kirsch laughs goofily.

“Later lady killer.”

He walks away and you keep staring at the girl who smiles at you and at first you don’t really react. You could care less about this girl but you don’t like having someone rile you up to just screw you over. _You’re sexually frustrated so why the hell not? It’s nothing out of the usual for you, get your head back in the game, this is what you’re good at, this is what you like doing._ You smirk and down the last of your bourbon before walking through the crowd, heading towards her. She smiles at you seductively when you reach her and you lean on the table where the lamp is as you bite your lip. You brush her hair away from her shoulder and then let your hand brush down her neck, to her shoulder, to her hand as you play with her fingers. After some flirting you lead the girl who’s name you could care less about _(Sophia was it?)_ to the bathroom. You lock yourself in a stall before turning to face the girl who’s hungrily waiting for you. You quickly start kissing her, your hands wondering up and down her body as the kiss becomes more desperate. You spend quite some time in this bathroom fucking this girl roughly, for some reason trying to make yourself feel numb. _Why are you trying to feel numb?_

After all, _this is what you do_.

  _-_

You just got out of another meeting with your dad. Something about changing the routes for deliveries to have a quicker and more effective way to get the cargo to it’s locations in town. It’s quicker but more expensive so your dad was discussing the pros and cons with everyone. He likes having you by his side when he’s having trouble with decisions. He relies on what you think is best for the company. He always says it’s important to him because your opinion matters and because you have to start getting in deeper with the company and managing it so you oblige and give him your ideas and concerns. Anyway you’re grabbing some breakfast with him and some co workers now. He usually likes going to a place down the block that has really good sandwiches. 

You keep checking your phone while you’re eating. Everyone else is casually chatting while you keep thinking about last night. _Should I call? Maybe I should call? Nonono that might come off as needy. Wait...I did call her one time though when I was freaking out over the coat, does that one count? No of course not maybe a text. A text? Yeah a text is fine right? What should I send her? Maybe I shouldn’t...last night I sent her that picture so that counts, right? Fudge, why am I thinking this through so much? It’s just Carmilla, it’s not like we’re-_

“Laura-” your dad catches your attention. “Thanks for all the help today. You did great kiddo.”

“Yeaaaah it wasn’t a big deal.” you take another bite of your sandwich. “Thanks dad.” you say with your mouth full.

Normally he would scold you for doing that out of the house but it’s just him and a few friends from work that have known you for years, so he doesn’t mind it that much. Instead he chuckles and goes to continue eating his own sandwich with a happy grin. At least tagging along with him at work gives you these few moments. 

On occasion anyway.

-

You grumble and groan as you press your face deeper into your pillow. Maybe you shouldn’t have drank so much alcohol last night. Now you’ve got one hell of a hangover and you’ve probably already slept through lunch, hell maybe even dinner. You turn your head in your pillow and stare at the window with a squinted eye. _Yeah, totally through dinner._ You blindly search your bed for your phone and fail to find it. You stretch your arm out and check under the bed, finding it after a few seconds. You raise it up, pressing the button to no avail. You groan again.

_Battery’s dead._  

You reach for the charger by your bed and plug it in, pressing the button to turn on your phone. You lay they belly down with your mouth slightly open for a few more minutes until your phone chimes and you grumble whining before reaching to grab it. Squinting your eyes at the phone’s brightness 

Laura(7:13pm): -Download image-

You stare at it with a confused face and debate wether to download the image or not. You press download and patiently stare at the phone screen as you wait for it to load. Your face turns even more confused when you see the image of a girl puking while another person holds her hair and Laura stands with a disgusted face taking it all as a selfie. At the bottom of the text it reads “Help.” and you stifle a laugh before your grin fades and you stay staring at your phone screen with a blank expression for a bit before putting it away. 

You don’t text her back. 

You get up from your bed with a groan as you hold your head for a few seconds before walking into the bathroom. You take a long shower and come out drying your hair with a towel and dropping yourself on your bed. You pick up your phone and start texting.

Carmilla(8:02pm): hey pupp’ wanna go for a walk?

Puppy K(8:02pm): Seriously?? Pupp’?? 

Puppy K(8:02pm): Btw the answer is TOTALLY. Treat me to some milkshakes?

Carmilla(8:03pm): do you WANT me to bring the leash?

Puppy K(8:03pm): Haha yeah right.

Puppy K(8:03pm): ur kiddin’...right?

Carmilla(8:04pm): Come and pick me up you idiot. 

Puppy K(8:04pm): Ok ok. So u WERE kiddin’. Cool cool. On my way.

You toss your phone to the side before getting up to get dressed fast. Kirsch always gets her in a jiffy so you put on the first thing you get your hands on: a grey sweater, some usual black pants, your signature boots and a beanie to control your curls once they dry.

Once he picks you up and takes you to your usual spot downtown you buy him his chocolate milkshake while getting a strawberry chocolate mix for you. You normally drink it up first thing but your heads not there right now. While Kirsch is blabbing about some hockey game you’re leaning on your hand, twirling your straw with the other one, not even looking at Kirsch as he continues to tell you things you usually at least _try_ to acknowledge him saying.

“Bro, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” you slightly shake your head going along with your attitude before continuing. “I just don’t understand how I’m so caught up with this girl.” you take out your straw from the milkshake and suck it from the bottom. “It’s stupid really.”

“Aaaaaaaah” Kirsch has a mischievous dorky grin. “Some girls just do that to a guy you know?...or a girl--whatever you know what I mean.”

You scoff but grin as you continue looking at yourself twirling your straw. “Yeah I know.” you stop twirling and lean your back against the booth. “Whatever, it’ll pass. I’m probably just upset she left me hanging like a complete idiot last night.” you shrug and lean forward again, grabbing your straw. “Fuck her, I don’t wait for what I want.” 

Kirsch stares at you with pursed lips _(more like a duck face)_ as you start drinking your milkshake. 

“Yeah yeah, big smooth gay hottie I know.”

-

The first chords to the song “What You Know” by Two Door Cinema Club start playing in your earphones as you continue to jog on the treadmill. Sometimes you go to the gym after having morning meetings at the company. It’s literally the building next door so it’s not a hassle getting here. Besides, you could use some ‘blowing off steam’ today. Freaking the whole Carmilla not texting you back yesterday may have possibly kind off _ticked you off_.

_I mean, what’s the big deal? Can’t she just send a quick text of acknowledgement? Is it that fucking hard for her to do?_  

You keep ranting to yourself inside your head as you continue to be unable to get that girl out of it. The song mixing with your thoughts as you continue jogging angrily. 

_And I can tell just what you want_

_You don’t want to be alone_

_You don’t want to be **alone**_

I mean she’s the one who texted you in the first place. _She’s_ the one who went up to you and dragged you to the back of some bar to thoroughly make out. It’s pretty darn clear that she isn’t _not_ into you. In fact, you’d be so bold as to say she’s _totally_ into you, like _way_ into you. _So what the fuck?_ You shake your head as you angrily role your eyes and continue jogging. After a while you notice there’s another girl nearby on another treadmill. 

  _She’s hot._

You try and hold your bashful smile as you stare back forward and continue jogging. _Well I mean why not? I AM single. I AM pretty darn hot too. Maybe I should go up to her later._ You giggle to yourself as you keep jogging with ease. Your music stops for a second when a text message comes in surprising you. You try and read it while you keep jogging.

Carmilla(9:57am): I hope ur friend didn’t have as bad of a hangover as I did.

You smile wide as you read the text completely forgetting your earlier plan. _She texted me back._ You try and reply while jogging.

-

Laura(9:59am): believe meb sshe did

Laura(9:59am): me* she* srry its hard to type rifht now

You stare down at your phone confused and curious as to why.

Carmilla(10:00am): why? What are you up to?

Laura(10:01am): jogging

_Ooooh, so she_ does _exercise. No wonder she’s got that nice toned stomach._ You grin and raise your eyebrows.

Carmilla(10:02am): why? Running from a crime scene?

Laura(10:02am): pfff not. I’m at the gym. Some ppl actually enkoy workin out uknoww. :P

Carmilla(10:03am): u sure? Because u in tight leggings must be a felony.

Laura(10:03am): haaaa so we’re back to that huh?

Carmilla(10:03am): idk what ur talking about, cupcake. ;)

Laura(10:04am): u dnt change at al

Laura(10:04am): I like thatt.

Carmilla(10:04am): and u seem to be determined to keep running. Ur grammar is awful. 

Laura(10:05am): SHUT UP

Laura(10:05am): -download image-

You open the image and start laughing. It’s a selfie of her running while flipping you off. Her face covered in sweat, pink cheeks, and her hair up in a pony tail.

Carmilla(10:07am): that’s just precious.

Laura(10:07am): I know. :p

Carmilla(10:08am): u know if u wanted to exercise u only had to call. ;)

Laura(10:11am): reeeallyyy? Well I DID text u. Not that it matters to u or anything.

You furrow your brow as you finish reading her response. _Wait is she mad?_

Carmilla(10:12am): srry creampuff, my phone was dead.

She doesn’t reply and you feel yourself getting restless.

“You can’t be seriously mad. Why haven’t you answered?”

Carmilla(10:28am): well not that it matters.

You wait for a few seconds for her reply but _nothing_. 

Radio silence. 

You get up from your futon and tuck your phone in your pocket as you head to the kitchen. _Fuck, right, no groceries. Ugh when the hell is Will getting back?_ You grab your bag and keys and step out of your apartment. You still have a few hours before you need to get to work so you start walking down the street to your favorite local bakery.

You can never go wrong with some baked goods from Aunt Annie’s Bakery. 

-

You read Carmilla’s text and you’re actually still kinda annoyed so you decide to not respond, putting your phone back where it was as you continue running. _She made you wait a whole day to reply so why not torture her a bit?_ You chuckle pleased with yourself as you continue to listen to some upbeat music while you jog. You look back to where the girl in the other treadmill is and she’s stopped running as she wipes her face with a towel. She catches you staring and you shamefully look away. _Crap, that was totally obvious._ You shut your eyes as you bunch up your face feeling like an idiot but you can’t help but take another peak at her. She’s looking at you with a smile as she keeps drying herself off with her towel and you feel yourself blushing embarrassed. You look forward again but don’t hide the dorky smile on your face. 

_Yeah whatever. It’s not like Carmilla and me are anything special. I mean, she’s probably out somewhere getting chicks, why not have some fun?_ You continue jogging and notice the girl’s moved to the treadmill beside you and is chewing on her lip as she looks at the settings on the treadmill. _Ohmygod, okay, chill Hollis. You got this. You’ve hit on chicks before right? It’s totally a no brainer._

“Hey!” you let out breathily.

“Hi.” the girl says as she starts to do a light jog.

“I never thought I’d run into a girl like you here.” you immediately face palm yourself in your head. “That was a terrible pun. Please ignore it.”

The looks at you confused but with a smile. “Sure.”

_Who am I kidding I’m terrible at flirting with strangers._ Carmilla comes back to your mind. _How come with her it was so easy? I mean she’s still a stranger. I haaave only seen her like what, three times? So how come it’s not as uncomfortable?_

  _Ugh girls are hard._

You don’t exactly enjoy meeting new people _(not for dating purposes at least_ ). It’s always so awkward and what if they suck or what if they have nothing in common with you or think you’re a dork _(which okay, that’s not a lie)_ or what if the two of you just...don’t.. _click_? It’s hella awkward and you’d rather not go through that. You peak back at the girl beside you. _Yeah, you’re totally not her type._ Your music stops for a moment as you receive another text.

Carmilla(10:28am): well not that it matters. 

You snort not believing Carmilla’s words at all. _Yup, she’s totally into me_.Hell she texted you again even after you stopped replying. She must be wondering why you’re not replying anymore. You smile and shake your head. 

  _Whatever. I’ll make her wait._

-

A few hours later you finished showering in the gyms locker room. You’re wrapped in a towel as you brush your wet hair by your locker. You see your phone and grab it curious to see what you’ve missed showering.

1 missed call Pops

1 missed call LaF

2 text messages LaF

You open your text messages to see what LaF wanted.

LaF(12:49pm): LAUR

LaF(12:49pm): ANY UPDATE ON THE BABE?

LaF(12:50pm): yes I am yelling at u through txt because u apparently can’t hear me CALLING YOU

LaF(12:52pm): rude.

You laugh out loud to yourself in the empty locker room as you type back a reply.

Laura(1:22pm): STOP YELLING AT ME. I’m at the gym. I was showering and stuff. Sorry!

LaF(1:23pm): who takes an hour to shower!? U are not a mermaid L. I would know. I’m a scientist. 

Laura(1:23pm): do u think washing hair as long as mine takes 10 minutes?? How dare.

LaF(1:23pm): w.e! Back to what matters, did u call her??

Laura(1:24pm): No.

Laura(1:24pm): she texted me.

LaF(1:24pm): YESSSS 

LaF(1:24pm): AND??

Laura(1:25pm): AND I’m making her wait. I have other things to do LaF.

LaF(1:25pm): pff like what, do yoga?

Laura(1:26pm): *gasp* RUDE. Yoga is a very good thing to do.

LaF(1:26pm): not as good as tall, pale and broody. heheHE.

Laura(1:27pm): LAFONTAINE CAN U NOT.

LaF(1:28pm): nope. I want my friend to get laid more so JUST CALL HER ALREADY.

Laura(1:28pm):  LaFontaine no!

LaF(1:29pm): LaFontaine YES!

Laura(1:29pm): why are u like this.

You put your phone away and start getting dressed to head back to the company. A missed call from your dad during the day time is never just to ask how you’re doing. He probably wants you at his office for something so you head inside of the lobby and give a friendly wave to Betty at the front desk before you head up the elevator. You walk inside your dad’s office and aren’t surprised at all to see him on a skype call on his desktop. You mimic a hello with your mouth and your dad gives you one of his smiles acknowledging that you’re there so you sit in one of his chairs waiting for him to finish up.

“Yes of course. I’ll see you tonight then Bert!” he turns in his chair to face you more. “Hey _snookums_!” he gives you another smile. “What have you been up to today?”

“I went to the gym for a while. Sorry I missed your call dad.”

“Hmmm al right no worries. So…”

_You knew it_. “So..?”

He starts playing with his thumbs. “Any plans for tonight with your friends?”

“No. Not that I recall.”

“Good.” 

You tilt your head at him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Weeeeeell..”

“No.”

“But..you haven’t heard what I was going to say yet.”

“I’m not going. No way.”

He grumbles as he twists his mouth to the side. “How’d you know?”

“Dad you called me here after you knew I left this morning, you called me snookums AND you did the thumb thing.”

“Oh.” he scratches his jaw. “Well why don’t you want to come?”

“You know I hate business dinners dad.”

He sighs in defeat. “ _I knoooow._ ”

You chuckle a bit as your dad continues to mope in his chair.

“Well, could you at least help me out with some paper work before you head home?”

You hum as if thinking about it but you know you’re gonna agree.” Fine. Just a few hours.”

“Great!” he almost jumps off his chair as he walks around his desk and gives you a hug. “ _Thaaanks_ snookums.”

You smile wide into the embrace before your dad pulls away and takes out his phone. Your smile fades. _Well, it was nice while it lasted._

“I gotta go make some calls for tonights dinner. Bert and his weird bean obsession aren’t easy to please. Neither is sitting next to him after he eats them.” he waves his hand in front of his nose before turning around to head down the hall.

You sit on your dad’s chair for awhile as you file his papers in order of importance before starting to read through some of them. You stare at your phone on the desk for like a whole minute before deciding to just pick it up.

Laura(2:16pm): what r u doing?

Carmilla(2:16pm): -download image-

You click on the download button and a picture of Carmilla with big headphones, sitting in a big leather chair pops up. She’s the one who’s flipping you off now with an unamused face that for some reason makes you snort.

Carmilla(2:16pm): I wish I was doing better things...but alas...that doesn’t pay my bills.

Laura(2:17pm): Same.

Carmilla(2:17pm): same as in u wish u were doing something better? Because if that’s the case, then I volunteer as tribute.

Laura(2:18pm): hahahaha u just don’t stop do u

Carmilla(2:18pm): not unless u ask me to. ;) 

Carmilla(2:19pm): what about u, what r u doing?

-

You rock in your big leather chair as you keep looking down at your phone. You have one headphone on and the other one is behind your ear so you can both hear what the guy playing live in the pre recorded talk show sounds like and what ever goes on behind the scenes. 

“Karnstein-” you lower your phone and turn your head to see Frank. “after this guy we’re going on a 10 minute break.”

“Okay.”

“You want anything from the cafeteria?”

“eh, bring me a bagel.”

“Sure thing.”

He goes back to where his post and you look up at the guy performing and check on some things before leaning back on your chair and checking your phone.

Laura(2:21pm): -download image-

You download the image and look around it, trying to pick up the pieces as to where Laura is. The pictures shows Laura pouting as she points down at a bunch of papers on a fancy desk. It looks like an office or something. _Is she working?_

Carmilla(2:28pm): secretary? Damn, I envy your boss.

Laura(2:29pm): pfff don’t and I’m not. I’m helping out my dad with some paperwork.

Carmilla(2:29pm): that looks like a load of fun.

Laura(2:30pm): pls tell me ur being sarcastic.

You laugh quietly. This girl always seems to have that effect on you. 

Carmilla(2:31pm): maybe

Carmilla(2:31pm): I mean I’ll be anything u want me to be. ;)

Laura(2:32pm): I want u to be less annoying.

Carmilla(2:32pm): Ouch. That one hurt, cupcake.

Laura(2:33pm): good to know :p 

You chuckle and put away your phone as you hear the guy is finished performing. You take your headphones off and head out to get the equipment and start checking it before putting it away. You head back to your spot and smirk when you see Frank left you your bagel by the desk. You sit back down on your chair and start to eat it as you check all the equipment and cables to see that everything running okay. You do the same with the rest of the equipment occasionally checking your phone.

-

After a few hours you’re finally done with all your dads paperwork. It would have taken you less time but you were distracted texting Carmilla. Plus most of it was boring anyway, a bunch of mumbo jumbo about some concerns over at Europe. You left a few sticky notes on some of the papers to let your dad know. Carmilla hasn’t texted you back. You think she’s probably busy doing whatever it is she was doing earlier. 

You went to find your dad and found him taking a nap in a chair on the first floor.

“Dad.”

“Mmm??”

“I’m done. Are you going home now or should I take a cab?”

“What? No no, I’m just about done here. I should go get changed for the dinner. I’ll drive you home.”

He sleepily gets up with a big yawn and puts an arm over your shoulder as the two of you walk together to his car.

Carmilla(6:38pm): am I still annoying u?

Laura(6:39pm): always

Carmilla(6:39pm): I think I might just believe u

Laura(6:40pm): don’t. 

Carmilla(6:40pm): mmm I don’t know

Carmilla(6:41pm): u’ll have to convince me otherwise.

Laura(6:41pm): and how would I do that exactly?

Carmilla(6:48pm): say something that I’ll absolutely think is true.

Laura(6:49pm): like what? That I’m trained in Krav Maga?

Carmilla(6:50pm): now how in the world could that be true? U failed. U suck at convincing ppl.

Laura(6:50pm): I’m not kidding! I am a total Krav Maga bad ass!

Carmilla(6:51pm): is that why u have nice arms? Or is that because of the gym?

Laura(6:52pm): both :P

Laura(6:52pm): u checked out my arms?

Carmilla(6:53pm): I checked out ALL of u. Obvsly.

Laura(6:54pm): oh really now? 

Carmilla(6:54pm): absolutely. How could I not? 

Carmilla(6:54pm): u really left me in a difficult position back there u know.

Laura(6:55pm): back at the alley? What ever could u mean :P

Carmilla(6:56pm): ur cruel.

You snorted in the back seat of the car and your dad turned his head to see what was so funny but turned back around once he saw you texting.

“Whatever happened to the good ol’ days, when people would talk.”

“Sorry dad. The future doesn’t believe in good ol’ days.”

Your dad smiles and shakes his head as he continues driving.

Laura(6:57pm): am not. I think I can be quite giving at times.

Carmilla(6:58pm): is this one of those times?

Camilla(6:58pm): if so, what would u be ‘giving’ me? ;)

Laura(6:59pm): a bucket of ice that’s what

Carmilla(7:00pm): ur into the strangest things, cupcake.

You laugh again and your dad let’s you know you’re home so you step out of the car and walk into the house. You go to your room and drop on your bed, bouncing a bit before settling in place comfortably as you continued to text Carmilla. You chew on your bottom lip as you think of what you’re going to reply. 

-

You’re undressing yourself before laying on your bed in your underwear as you eat some take out. Your phone rings and you put down your chopsticks to hold it.

Laura(7:02pm): that explains why I keep texting u

Carmilla(7:02pm): u think im strange? 

Carmilla(7:02pm): I’ll take that as a compliment cutie.

Laura(7:03pm): I think ur a lot of things, but that’s just me.

Carmilla(7:04pm): such as?

You put your phone down and continue eating. She doesn’t respond for awhile but when you read her reply your mood changes completely as you raise an eye brow at the text.

Laura(7:08pm): a very good kisser.

Carmilla(7:12pm): so I’ve heard.

Laura(7:13pm): ur an idiot.

Carmilla(7:13pm): im sorry r we still stating the things u think of me, or r u just upset that I’m not kissing u right now?

Carmilla(7:13pm): because if that’s the case, I’m upset to.

Laura(7:14pm): both.

Laura(7:14pm): I really was upset that we got interrupted last time.

Carmilla(7:15pm): then u shouldn’t have left.

Laura(7:19pm): believe me. I really reeeeally wanted to stay.

Carmilla(7:20pm): that bad huh?

Laura(7:21pm): waaaaaaay more bad

Laura(7:21pm): I’ll let u know I was very much about to do things that should not be done in public back then.

Carmilla(7:22pm): that soo? Please indulge me.

Laura(7:23pm): I was….hungry. 

Carmilla(7:23pm): hungry?

Laura(7:24pm): yes! Hungry!

Carmilla(7:24pm): I’m not catching on. Could u pls be more specific? ;)

Laura(7:25pm): for fucks sake Carmilla!

Laura(7:30pm): ...i was going to eat u out.

You almost chocked on your lao mein. You knew what she had in mind but you never thought she’d actually say it. You were just teasing her but now that she was so forward about it you start remembering that night. The way she looked at you, the way she touched you, the way she kissed you, the way she was desperately trying to unbutton your pants. 

Fuck.

The thought alone arouses you which is strange because you usually aren’t so sensitive. You lick your lips and start texting her back.

Carmilla(7:36pm): well fuck.

Laura(7:36pm): too forward?? U asked!

Carmilla(7:37pm): no, it’s definitely not that.

Laura(7:38pm): then what?

Carmilla(7:38pm): u’ve put certain thoughts in my head.

Laura(7:39pm): Oh.

Laura(7:39pm): ...ummm...srry. 

Carmilla(7:42pm): first u leave me all hot and steamy by the bar and now u tease me?

Laura(7:43pm): I mean...i was just telling u the truth

Laura(7:43pm): I really did wanna...well..u know.

Carmilla(7:44pm): god I wish u had

Laura(7:44pm): really???

Carmilla(7:44pm): yes, really.

Carmilla(7:45pm): I really wanted u to stay.

Laura(7:45pm): u have no idea how much I agree with u on that.

Laura(7:45pm): Like. No idea.

Carmilla(7:46pm): fuck I really wanna see u now

Carmilla(7:46pm): r u still busy?

Laura(7:47pm): I’m at home right now.

Carmilla(7:47pm): but, are u busy?

Laura(7:48pm): No I just got here cus my dad’s going to another business dinner tonight.

Carmilla(7:49pm): r u going again too?

Laura(7:52pm): what? no hell no I hate going.

Laura(7:52pm): last time was an exception.

Carmilla(7:53pm): do u mean just the dinner part oor..?

You don’t know why you’re even asking. Las time between the two of you clearly wasn’t an exception. Why else would she continue texting you like this? You wait for her reply nervously. You kind of really hope last time wasn’t an exception because there’s something about this girl that just-

Your phone rings and you quickly look down at it in your hand.

Laura(7:57pm): the dinner part. 

Laura(7:57pm): the rest can totally happen again.

Laura(7:58pm): just saying.

Carmilla(7:58pm): u have no idea how much I want that.

Carmilla(7:58pm): to happen again I mean.

Laura(7:59pm): yeah I know what u meant.

Laura(7:59pm): i...may have been wanting that for a while now. 

Carmilla(8:00pm): u know, u could have called any time cutie.

Laura(8:01pm): I thought u’d be busy with other ppl

Carmilla(8:02pm): I’ll always make time for u.

Laura(8:03pm): wow I’m that good huh? :P

Carmilla(8:04pm): I’d say u may be on my top 10.

Laura(8:04pm): top ten?!?

Carmilla(8:05pm):...top 3.

Laura(8:06pm): that’s not what I meant but thanks.

Carmilla(8:07pm): how would u classify that night?

Laura(8:07pm):…

Laura(8:09pm): I mean...i was a bit drunk.

Carmilla(8:10pm): u seemed fine.

Laura(8:10pm): the wine might have clouded my judgment.

Carmilla(8:11pm): I’ll remind u whenever u want cutie.

Laura(8:11pm): I may have enjoyed it a lot…

Carmilla(8:12pm): and how much exactly?

Carmilla(8:18pm): Laura?

Laura(8:18pm): ugh. A LOT okay! Why else would I be so up for fucking u in an alley?!

Carmilla(8:19pm): u mean the whole ‘eating me out’ thing? ;)

Laura(8:20pm):…

Laura(8:20pm): fuck Carm.

Carmilla(8:20pm): I am more than willing to do so.

Laura(8:21pm): ugh why r u doing this!

Carmilla(8:22pm): do u want an honest answer or a lie?

Laura(8:22pm): honest.

Carmilla(8:23pm): because I am oddly very turned on right now and ur really not helping.

Laura(8:23pm): I wish I was…

Laura(8:23pm): helping u with that I mean..

“Fuck.”

You squirm in your bed as you re read that last text. _How is this girl such a dork and such a turn on at the same time? Like how does she do this to me?_ You brush your bangs back with your hand as you bite your lip thinking of what to reply.

Carmilla(8:25pm): can u come over?

Laura(8:25pm): I cant. If dad doesn’t see me in my room when he gets back he’ll freak.

“Fuck.”you get up from your bed and start re dressing yourself.

Carmilla(8:28pm): can I come over then?

There’s a pause as Laura doesn’t answer immediately.

Laura(8:30pm): like we don’t have much time though.

Carmilla(8:30pm): doesn’t matter. Im on my way.

-

You’re nervous now. You don’t know how you could have agreed to this but you crave Carmilla’s touch so much. You start to pace in your room before starting to clean it up. Once you’re done you look down and see you’re in sweatpants and a tank top.

Crap.

There’s a knock on the door and you panic for a slight moment before running down the stairs to open the door. 

“Hey-” you manage to let out before she slithers her arms around you and the two of you sway as she steps closer, shutting the door behind her with one hand before kissing you hard.

Fuck.

The kiss quickly turns into a desperate one as the two of you start moving your hands along the other’s body, finally feeling each other’s contact again. She starts getting inpatient and tries to undress you, sliding her hands under your waistband but you mumble against her lips before pulling away.

“Not here.”

She stares down at you silently, her hands still warm against your hip bones under your waistband.

“Then lead me to your room.”

She starts kissing you again and you start retracing your steps towards the stairs, stumbling a bit as you try and reach for the railing and start guiding Carmilla as you climb backwards. You pull away from her again bitting your lip as you yank her shirt closer to you.

“Follow me.”

You turn to go to your room, Carmilla only a few steps behind you. Once you reach the last step you turn around and Carmilla rushes the last two steps before crashing her lips against yours. The kiss isn’t as fast as the first one. It’s slow and still desperate but in a different way. It’s as if she’s been craving to taste your lips again as she savors them slowly. You reach for your door handle behind you and open your door. Carmilla steps forward taking you inside your room as she continues to kiss you slowly. One hand on your neck as the other one continues to slide inside your sweatpants, down the side of your thigh. 

You hear your phone receive a text message but ignore it. You’re not letting that interrupt you again. She puts you up against the wall by the door and you pull Carmilla by her waist band, her hips against yours. Her hand goes from your thigh to your ass as she squeezes it while pulling your hips closer against hers. She stops kissing you as she pants and puts her forehead against yours. Both of your eyes still closed as you tug and pull each other closer to one another. You reach down again, just like last time and start unbuttoning her pants. She smirks against your lips as you un zip her pants and yank them down. She steps out of them, her hands go back down to your waist as she start to incredibly slowly slide them up, raising your shirt bit by bit as she still smirks. You start to lift up your arms for her to be able to take it off when you hear someone going up the stairs. You shove your arms down and stop her hands on your ribs.

“Shit. Dad. Be quiet.” you whisper to her.

“What but-” 

“Shhh!” 

You put your fingers against her lips and she stares down at them before only smirking amused. You stare at her lips, covered by your fingers and that damn smirk before stepping out of Carmilla’s space. You straighten down your shirt nervously before slightly opening the door and acting sleepy.

“Oh, hi dad. Didn’t notice you get back.”

“Yeah I texted you to see if you were awake but I can see that wasn’t the case.”

He smiles sleepily at you before giving you a kiss on the top of your head.

“Goodnight dad.”

“Goodnight sweetie.”

You shut the door and put your back against it, huffing out a breath of relief before Carmilla yanks you forward and starts kissing you again. You kiss her back even though you try and tell her you shouldn’t be doing this anymore between kisses. All you’re able to muster between hums “no.” and “my dad will hear.” Carmilla parts her lips from yours but she lingers whispering against them.

_“Then be quiet.”_ she starts kissing you again. “Bed.” she lightly pulls you by the hands towards the bed as she continues to kiss you slow. Once you reach the corner of the bed she stumbles and sits on it leaving you to stand before her. She lifts up your shirt a bit before she starts leaving open mouthed kissed down your stomach, making you bite your lip. She slides her lower lip up your stomach before going back down to kiss your hip bones, her hands reaching for the waistband of your pants, slightly pulling them down to show more skin for her lips to touch. She pulls your sweatpants all the way down, her hands tracing up your legs until they reach your underwear. She stares up at you and licks her lips as her hands start to slowly slide your underwear off. You take a deep breath as Carmilla finishes pulling down your underwear, her head coming back to where it was as she stares back up at you and bites her lip. She pulls you forward by your thighs, making you place your knees on the bed, straddling her. She kisses your stomach again before tilting her head down and kissing you slowly on your clit. You let out a shaky breath as your hands grasp her shoulders. She looks back up at you through her lashes before smirking and slightly passing her tongue up your folds. You inhale sharply and lean to the touch. Carmilla licks her lips taking in your wetness.

“Guess now _I’m_ the one who’s hungry.” she says.

You lean down and start kissing Carmilla passionately, tasting a bit of yourself in her tongue. You start scooting more into the bed as you move on your knees and Carmilla follows climbing deeper into your bed. You settle down on top of her as you continue to be on her lap, straddling her. Her hands go up your thighs, touching you ever so carefully before one of them moves to your center. You gasp against Carmilla’s lips as you stop kissing her and freeze under her sudden touch. Carmilla only stares back at you as she slowly moves her fingers down your folds making you shiver over her. She slides them back up and then back down, rubbing you making you start to have trouble breathing right.

  _Why would she freaking make you go through this gosh darn it._

  _-_

Laura’s breathing starts to pick up as you start to rhythmically move your fingers. Her wetness making it easier for you to keep a nice movement going. You’re staring at her face, her eyes almost shut and her lips parted as her breathing continues to pick up. You smoothly slip two fingers in her and her breath hitches with a small whimper. She quickly covers her mouth with her hand as her hips buckle down into your fingers. Her hips start to follow your slow rhythm and Laura’s trying to hold in any sound coming from her lips. Her cheeks turning beat red as she tries holding some of her breath. You tease her, flicking your thumb over her clit and she inhales sharply and shakily. You bite your lip as you smirk , moving your face closer to Laura’s. Her eyes heavy and dark with desire as she stares down at you in front of her. She tilts her head back as she whines quietly and you start hushing her, only teasing her more as you start going a bit faster. She shuts her eyes once her head comes back to  where it was as she continues to ride you, her hair dripping on one side as she stares down into your lips. She licks her own and rubs her hands up your neck, slowly caressing you. Her lips are parted as she starts breathing harder before leaning down while simultaneously pulling you towards her, giving you a long kiss that’s just overflowing with want and passion.

You get lost in it and start losing momentum on Laura and she hums in your mouth and grinds down on you. You snap back into reality and start thrusting harder into her as she deepened the kiss. Laura accidentally let’s out a soft moan in your mouth and my god that only turns you on more so you quicken your pace. Laura tries to keep kissing you at first but as she keeps kissing you she isn’t able to control herself as well as before, small moans slipping from her mouth along with her heavy panting that only escalate. Her lips never stay far from yours, occasionally brushing against them as you continue to lose yourself in all of Laura’s pleasure. You surprisingly let out a small whimper when Laura quietly moans your name, almost like a whisper shivering through your body. The sound of you whimpering because of her makes her lose the last bit of control she had and she starts grinding down on you harder before a wave of ecstasy runs through her body. You start thrusting into her slower and she calms down, her body relaxing as she’s still letting out sharp breaths.

“Fuck.” Laura whispers.

You smirk and Laura bites her lip as she tucks some of her hair behind her ear, still panting slightly. She makes herself comfortable on your lap before looking at your lips through heavy eyelids, her hands starting to brush up your neck again as you stare right back at her. She slowly licks her lips before leaning forward and kissing you deep and slow. You hum into the kiss before Laura mumbles something against your mouth and pulls away.

“I’d do you too but-” she takes your wet fingers and lightly sucks them clean. “we both know you won’t be able to keep quiet.”

Your jaw drops as you fake being insulted and Laura giggles.

“I’ll make it up to you later.” Laura’s cheeks turn red again as she seems kind of shy now. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

You groan playfully but Laura leans in giving you one last lingering kiss before a quick peck.

“Go to bed.”

She slides off of your lap and you whine when Laura pulls her underwear back on and smirks at you.

“I’m sorry, does it seem like I have a reason to stay now?”

“It’s already really late, just stay over. My dad might still be roaming around the house and see you leaving anyway.”

You’re not convinced. Still, you don’t mind staying. Laura lays in bed next to you and you lean back, laying down yourself. You close your eyes for a while and it’s quiet. 

“I won’t be able to get any sleep like this.” you say.

Laura turns over and gets on her elbows.

“You’re such a whiney baby you know that?”

She grins at you and you suddenly feel her hand slip under your underwear, feeling how wet you are. She brings her fingers back up to her face and licks them slowly. 

  _Ugh, damn._

She starts giving you slow kisses as she starts to slip her hand back down your underwear slowly and sneakily. She gives you a quick peck before whispering.

“Try and keep it down or I swear I’ll stop.”

Laura instantly rubs up and down your folds before playing with your clit a few times, drawing small circles. You’re already so turned on from before that you’re losing it almost after just a few minutes. At first you were letting out small low moans almost like whispers but when Laura slipped a finger in suddenly, you moaned a bit more high pitched and Laura stops.

“Fuck, don’t just stop like that.”

“I told you to keep it down.”

“Fuck Laura I’m fucking trying. Don’t be such a tease and just fuck me.”

Laura opens her mouth as if to start talking but she slips her finger back inside you instead, making you inhale sharply.

“I’d like to think I’m in charge right now. So do what I say or I’m stopping.”

  _“God I hate you.”_

Laura smiles and starts kissing you again, still really slow and you relax into the kiss before Laura starts slowly thrusting into you. Your hands claw down on the bed sheets almost immediately as you keep trying to stay quiet like Laura ordered you to. 

  _Anything to keep her from stopping what she’s doing because fuck, just fuck._

Laura slips her tongue in your mouth as she continues to kiss you, inserting a second finger at the same time. You let out a light moan against Laura’s lips. You pray for that not to cause her to stop and you’re relieved when it doesn’t. She starts thrusting a bit faster and you start letting out little low moans against Laura’s lips, not loud enough for her to consider stopping. You start to move your hips to the rhythm of her thrusting and Laura hums against your lips before brushing her thumb over your clit. You let out a louder moan and Laura stops thrusting and pulls her lips away from you as she breaths on them.

“FUCK. NO, DON’T STOP NOW.”

You open your eyes and stare into Laura’s. Laura’s eyes are filled with lust. She starts to close the gap between your lips again and starts kissing you slow. You deepen the kiss desperately and Laura starts thrusting again, picking up her pace as your hips start to move again. You moan again and Laura pulls away to stare at you. You open your eyes immediately in fear that Laura would stop. 

  _She doesn’t._

“You know...you’re not making this easy on me.” she says.

You let go of the sheets and grab Laura’s face, pulling it back to where it was. You kiss her harder this time and Laura starts thrusting faster, your hips no longer able to move at the same speed as you start giving into your pleasure, letting out small moans in Laura’s mouth. Laura brushes her thumb on your clit again making you let out a louder moan.

She pulls away but continues to thrust.

“Fuck, Carm. You’re not even trying anymore.”

Your mouth is open for a few seconds and as you don’t respond her and Laura bites her lip unaware of how much she loves seeing you like this. She starts rubbing circles on your clit now and you gasp before biting down on your lip hard.

“Laura...fuck.”

Laura leans down and starts kissing up your neck before reaching your earlobe and sucking it. She starts breathing in your ear and you let out a small moan again. Laura whispers into your ear as she rubs your clit one more time.

_“Carm…”_

Her soft innocent voice so close to your ear makes you instantly go over the edge, rolling your eyes and throwing your head back into the pillow. You start to let out a whimper and Laura uses her lips to keep it down as she slows her fingers pace, slowly kissing you back to reality.

Laura pulls her fingers out but before she could pull away from your lips, you wrapped your arms around her neck and pulled her in closer. Laura hummed into the kiss as she started moving her lips against yours. You feel her lips part your own as she stares down at you trying to regulate your breathing. You stare back, the two of you quietly observing one another. Laura smiles and sucks her fingers as if they were covered in sweets.

“Now _that_ was a good reason to stay.” _you say with a smirk._

Laura laughs and lays down next to you.

“You suck.”

She shuts her eyes as she covers herself with the sheets, smiling to herself. You scoff and look forward to the ceiling before closing your eyes and doing the same.

_Yeah, I guess I can stay over just this once._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this one in a hurry so it probably has typos SO I'M SORRY T.T
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)


	7. Groceries and Hot Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> morning after. whatever this is, it seems like both girls are quite liking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's pretty long cus i couldn't stop myself but enjoy! also im not using the same program as before cus new laptop so things happen because im not used to it. things like TYPOS and the fact that everything i put in italics turned normal when i pasted it here. lol i'll fix it later.

 

> _Fondness:(noun)_
> 
> _Affection or liking for someone._
> 
>   
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

You wake up and you feel so well rested that you can’t even believe it. You rarely sleep well but today it all seems to be different. You take a deep breath with your eyes still closed.

Must be the bed.

You open your eyes and look to the side where you feel some weight on the bed. Laura’s sound asleep and curled up into herself, none of her body parts touching you at all. You don’t understand why and you don’t pay attention to it either but..

You feel oddly disappointed.

You stretch your legs and back with a grunt and feel Laura rustle next to you. She squeezes her eyes tight and groans, digging her face further into her yellow pillow. Then she opens her eyes with a bunched up face as she’s just waking up. She looks at you for a few seconds like that and then her eyes widen.

“Morning, sundance.”

-

“Wait, what time is it?” you say

“Uuhh I don’t know.” Carmilla checks her phone. “7:38am.”

You shoot up and off of the bed. You start scrambling through your room while Carmilla watches. You go inside your bathroom and brush your teeth and you feel Carmilla come in behind you.

“You know, you’re kind of twitchy today.”

You talk as you brush your teeth. “No It’s just--dad should be up by now--we have to get you out of here.”

“You mean sneak me out?” Carmilla snickers. “Like high schoolers?”

“Shut up.” you hand her a spare toothbrush and finish washing your mouth, stepping out of the bathroom and looking for your phone.

No missed calls or texts. Your dad usually texts you in the morning when he wakes up so you can start getting ready so this is a good sign. Maybe he’s not even up yet.

You rush towards the door and quietly and slowly open in just a bit, looking out into the hall. You hear Carmilla come out of the bathroom but you don’t focus on that. You open the door wider and step out into the hall making sure the coast is clear.

“Okay, he’s not up yet. Come on.”

You automatically grab Carmilla’s wrist and guide her silently down the hall as you try and quickly tip toe. When you reach the stairs you lean over them to look down and see if there’s anyone there.

Clear. Fuck yeah this is gonna be easier than you thought.

Suddenly you feel Carmilla’s arms wrap around you from behind as she slithers closer. Her face nuzzling down your cheek to your neck as she grumbles or..purrs?

“Don’t we have time for more kinky things?”

You melt into her from her silky voice being so close to your ear but you try and fight it.

NO. You have to get her outta here before your dad finds out. He’d probably freak over you sneaking people in the house. I mean LaFontaine and Perry are one thing buuut clearly your intentions with Carmilla are totally different.

You step away from her and down a step on the stairs. You turn around and look up at her.

“No time for that.”

You start sneaking down the stairs with her behind you, your hand holding hers. Once you’re at the bottom of the stairs she tugs your hand and you turn around. She steps closer, staring down at your lips and oh god you know you won’t be able to keep fighting it for much longer. It’s too damn hard to resist her when she’s being so seductive and sexy with her messy hair.

“I think you’re forgetting something.”  she leans her face only like and inch from yours, her lips hovering over your own.

Oh god.

“You owe me one.”

“I do not. I thought I payed you back last night.”

She grins seductively, her hand brushing up your neck until it’s cupping your face.

“That one was for me bringing you your coat, remember? I think you’re starting to lose count of all the times you say ‘i owe you one’, cupcake.”

You squint your eyes glaring playfully at her, her grin only growing into a smirk.

“You suck.”

“Well...that’s not entirely a lie.”

You bite away your smile. This freaking girl is just full of stupid ways to tease the crap outta you. And you don’t necessarily hate it. In fact…

You kind of like it.

You push her away and walk to the door grabbing the handle.

“Bye Carmilla.”

She walks up to you again, rolling her eyes playfully before pulling you to her with her hand by the back of your neck. She kisses you and you can taste the mint from your own toothpaste. The kiss is a constant tug and pull between the two of you and between kisses you keep letting out “Just go already.” and “Ughh you’re such an ass.” but you can’t seem to push her away either. You can’t seem to stop kissing her.

Then you hear someone clear their throat and you panic, you jump back and you just panic.

Your dad steps out of the kitchen with a hot cup of coffee in his hands. His bear pajama pants still on as he stares at you with no specific expression. You’re frozen in place not knowing what is about to come. Your dad just calmly takes a sip of his hot coffee and you just swallow your nerves down. Carmilla awkwardly waves with her fingers, not saying a word either and your dad just turns around and walks back into the kitchen and you think he looked like he was trying to hold his laugh.

“Well that didn’t go so bad, right?” she says and you just turn to her crankily.

“Goodbye Carm.”

She raises her hands up as if surrendering, along with her eyebrows quirking up.

“Al right al right, I’ll go.” She pulls you in for one last kiss and you freak out a little internally as you side eye the kitchen to check if your dad’s there. You smack her arm angrily and she just chuckles and opens the door, stepping outside.

“See you around, cutie.”

-

You walked out of the house and hailed a cab to get back to your apartment. You can’t believe you’re out this early in the morning in the first place but you’re not tired. Not tired at all, which is very surprising. You’re really hungry though and you remember you still haven’t done any grocery shopping since Will is still away so you tell the cab driver to change directions.

You’ll just go to Kirsch’s place to eat.

Later than day you got a text from Will and you groaned angrily when you read it.

William(10:03pm): hey kitty, srry for being out so long but i got another gig over here so i won’t be back for like another week or 2. I’ll keep u updated. Don’t poop out of the litter box ;)

You wonder if you could just go another week or two without having to go grocery shopping. You just hate going by yourself, you never know what to pick or which aisle to go through and you’ve always just let Will do that for the two of you. Maybe you’ll just eat out more this week.

The next day you plan on staying in bed all day. It’s a weekend so you don’t have to go to work which is nice. Plus you’ve got the apartment to yourself so that’s also very very nice.

In fact…

Maybe it would be even nicer with some very good, very female company later tonight.

You smirk and look for your phone by your bed.

Carmilla(1:44pm): oh my, a free weekend, a place to myself, what could a girl possibly need beside that?

Laura(1:46pm): i swear subtlety is not your forte.

Carmilla(1:47pm): who said i was trying to be subtle? ;)

Laura(1:48pm): i don’t knoooow. U didn’t play nice last time. :p

Carmilla(1:48pm): oh don’t whine.

Carmilla(1:48pm): did i get u in trouble with ur dad?

Laura(1:49pm): naah, he hasn’t said anything. (surprisingly)

Carmilla(1:49pm): sooo does that mean ur coming over then? ;)

Laura(1:50pm): sometimes i question why i even bother with u.

Carmilla(1:52pm): is that a no?

Laura(1:52pm): on my way.

 ****Laura comes over and you open the door for her in your underwear. You can see her tense up and unintentionally look you up and down before locking her eyes on yours. Her cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Uh..hi.”

You smirk and chuckle a bit. “Hi.” you fully open the door, standing comfortably with a hand on your hip. “You coming in?”

Laura twitches and blinks quickly a few times as she passes by you, stepping inside the apartment. You shake your head and close the door, following her to the middle of the apartment. She turns around as if to speak.

“Are you j-”

Her words stop in her throat as you step closer to her, sliding your hands up her forearms.

“Am I what now?”

Laura swallows hard as she stares down at your body that’s now so close to hers. Her eyes wander their way up to your lips as you step closer, putting your semi naked body against hers. Her breath hitches and you just enjoy having this effect on this girl so much. It’s quite entertaining actually.

When you lean forward about to kiss her your stomach grumbles. Laura looks like she notices but you shake your head slightly.

“Don’t pay attention to that.”

You start kissing her and she immediately kisses you back, becoming her usual comfortable self again. You’re chest to chest, your bodies still pushed against each other when your stomach grumbles again.

Laura pulls back. “Okay, you need to eat.”

You whine and lean closer to her lips again. “It’s fine, i’ll eat later.”

“There’s no way we’re having sex while you’re running on low.”

“I can handle it just fine cupcake.”

“No. You can’t, cutie.” she says that last part imitating you.

Laura goes to open your fridge and sees that it’s basically empty.

“You have like nothing in your fridge.”

“I know…” Laura straightens up from bending to look inside your fridge and looks at you. “I don’t really like grocery shopping...my housemate usually does it.”

“Your housemate?”

“Yeah, he’s not coming back for awhile though.”

You see Laura put on her thinking face for a second but grin and grab your hand.

“Come on, let’s go get you some groceries.”

“We really don’t have to-”

“I’m not letting you go hungry. We’re going.”

You pull your hand away from hers and she looks worried and confused.

“I can’t exactly go like this.” you gesture to your semi naked body. “Give me a minute.”

-

The grocery store wasn’t so terrible, at least it seemed okay with Laura. You were pulling the cart while Laura would grab some stuff and ask you if you liked it. after a while you switched placed with her at one point and she was pushing the cat herself. It was so cute with home tiny she is so you can’t help but constantly be staring at her as she’s looking at the shelves not noticing.

You notice though. So you look away.

Why am I staring?

-

You pay for the groceries and head back to the apartment, ordering a pizza delivery while you’re on your way back. The delivery guy get’s there almost at the same time that you do so you pay him outside and take the groceries as Laura takes the pizza. You put away the groceries while Laura opens the pizza and takes out a slice for herself, moaning at how good it tastes. You tease her and say:

“Leave that for later, cutie.”

And she just glares at you playfully as she continues to eat. You take one for yourself and sit down in the stools by the kitchen island.

Once you’re done you’re looking at Laura again.

She’s being all bashful from your staring but it’s adorable and as she chews you can tell she’s smiling.

“What?” she says looking away from you and back.

“Now that i’m all re-energized” you pause. ”and we’re alone,” you stare down her body. “Inside my apartment.” you lean forward in your stool and smirk. “Can we get back to doing some ‘physical activities’?”

Laura scoffs with a smile and finishes chewing. She grabs her soda and takes a quick drink before standing up and moving towards you quickly. You bite your lip in anticipation and she seems shy again as she tucks some hair behind her ear like she usually does and looking away. Her arms slide over your shoulders and she takes a step closer to you. You pull her hips in your direction and she takes a small stumbling step even closer. You’re looking up at her in front of you and you stretch up a bit to get closer to her lips. She automatically leans in and you start kissing.

Every time you do, Laura has another taste to her. First brownies & wine, then hard liquor, then you think it was chocolate at her place and now pizza.

Still, underneath all of those flavors there’s one that you can always taste and tell apart, one that you really really seem to enjoy, and it’s Laura’s. Her lips just have this taste that feel kind of addicting, like Laura’s lips are this drug you’ve never had before and can’t seem to get enough of. You’ve had your share of women in your single lady life but you’ve never been the one to kiss them so much. Kissing has always felt like it was something too important to you. Like as if it was something that was only meant for the one you love, the one you experience feelings for. So in all your one night stands you don’t really focus on ‘the kissing’, you focus more on the ‘pleasing and touching’.

And yet, with Laura it’s like you can’t help yourself. Your lips have a mind of their own, like a magnetic connection with hers, and for the first time in all of your fuck buddy lifestyle

you don’t mind kissing at all.

-

Laura’s dropped by at least 3 times this week for some very appreciated casual sex. You’re actually just as surprised as anyone else when it comes to you not being sick of some girl yet. You’re surprised to be happy to see her when you open your apartment door. You’re surprised to catch yourself smiling when she’s with you. You’re surprised of how you would have forgotten her name since day one, but somehow haven’t. You’re surprised that you feel comfortable when you’re with her. You’re surprised that you don’t necessarily want to kick her out when you’re done having sex. You’re surprised at how you feel kind of upset that she leaves right after. Which is very strange for you since you never ever let any of your fuck buddies stay over anyway, so this should be exactly what you’d want. This should be perfect for you.

Still, you can’t help but feel like maybe it’s not.

Not necessarily anyway.

Kirsch is making some hot dogs for the two of you. You like to drop by his place every now and then. He is your best friend even though you would never be caught saying such a thing out loud to anyone. It’s just not your style to be all loving and feelings and yuck, no no way. But you’re sure that he knows. He knows everything about you. How you like your food, how you don’t actually want to be alone when you’re having a hard time, how even if you make a disgusted sound when he gives you his “bro hugs” you actually really enjoy them. He’s literally your favorite person, your personal lovable puppy that spends time with you even if it’s just challenging you to push up competitions or telling you about all the cute girls he’s seen on campus.

He still hasn’t graduated college but it’s never bothered you. You know he had a hard time after SJ died. You know he dropped out for awhile because he couldn’t take going to class and not seeing her there. You know how he cries like an ugly child covered in snot when he’s really hurt and you have to comfort him and wash the snot off of your shirt later on.

Yeah, Kirsch is your favorite person.

He hands you a hot dog and sits down next to you on his couch while flipping on the tv.

“Wanna watch some wrestling?”

“Why would i want to watch sweaty men touching each other violently?”

“A-HA! You underestimate me Mrs. Moody and Broody.”

He switches on a wrestling match between strong bad ass women and you can just feel his cocky smile as he stares at you for approval.

“Fine, just one match.”

“YES!!”

The two of you stay like that for awhile, yelling angrily at the tv every now and then when one of the girls gets body slammed. On every commercial break you’d turn on your phone’s home screen to see what time it was (or to see if you had any text messages). Kirsch didn’t say anything at first but you knew he was going to blab eventually.

“Okay, spill.”

“spill what?”

“Are you sure you’re just fuck buddies with this hottie?”

“what?? I--” you scoff and look away.

“Ohhh myyyy goooood, duuuude!”

“Kirsch, I swear you’re starting to get on my nervs.”

“because i’m totally right, aren’t i?”

“No. You’re wrong. We are just fuck buddies. That’s it. Stop pressuring me into changing my ways.”

“Dude, I know you don’t like being all emotional and stuff but c’mon. She’s obviously different.” he gestures to your phone in your hands. “You actually pay attention to her bro.”

“I do not.”

He crosses his arms and gives you a stare that you know all too well. You raise one of your hands and move it around the air a little as you try and come up with words.

“We’re just...very into each other sexually. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. We’re fuck buddies and that’s all I really want from this.”

“Ooookay, if you say so.” he shrugs and starts getting up from the couch. “ but are you super sure you wanna be just fuck buddies?” he walks off to the kitchen throwing a “just think about that, bro.” over his shoulder.

You roll your eyes angrily and look back down at your phone. You don’t want to be anything other than fuck buddies. You know that and that’s totally fine. That’s just the way you are, that’s just the way you work, you’re not looking for anything else. And you’re sure that neither is Laura, who by the way hasn’t texted you in two days. The usual thing between you two is one day yes and one day no, and on the no’s she would text you at night.

It’s not that it bothers you that she didn’t text you all day yesterday, it probably just feels strange that she broke her weird system.

So...why hasn’t she texted you today either?

-

You let out a long sigh. Your feet are up on your dad’s desk and you’re sinking deeper and deeper into his big chair. You’ve been working today non stop. Meeting after meeting with your dad, some even without him that he needed you to go on his behalf. He’s been running around the building between meetings and calls and video chats since yesterday and you’ve been helping him out as best as you can but come on even you need a break sometimes. Frankly, you need a brake like right now. So here you are, locked up in your dad’s office, alone. You tiredly take out your phone and search through your favorites.

**LaF**

**Carmilla**

**Perry**

**Pops**

It’s not on you that Carmilla happens to be on your favorites. It’s just the way your phone works by most contacted and, well, you don’t really talk to many people. You had a few more friends in college but that was then and this is now. You flew through college anyway, you didn’t really have time to make friends or well, you didn’t really focus on it. Your main goal was to finish as quickly as possible so you could help your dad with work. You thought that maybe if you were at the same office as him you’d spend more time together and helping him out here would make him have more free time, but well…

that’s not the case.

You’ve been texting Carmilla way more than the first few days that you met her. And you’ve been to her apartment a bunch of times now too. ( five? Maybe seven?) You can’t help it, she’s amazing. (Well as far as amazing goes for a casual sex partner and all.) You’ve kinda grown accustomed to her, to the way she smells, the way she touches you, the way she’s always staring at you with these eyes that you can’t quite understand yet, the way her lips feel against yours.

Yeah, you could totally get used to that.

Or well, you have gotten used to that.

So used to it that you feel kind of strange or like empty without it. Empty? Is that the right way to describe it? Probably not but it’s what you can come up with right now for this weird feeling. Maybe you just miss it. Maybe you’re so used to her presence that when it’s not around you can’t help but notice the difference.

Nah, maybe you’re just tripping out because you’re so freaking tired today.

Still, you didn’t text her last night like you always do when you don’t get to see her. You don’t really know why you started doing it but you think that maybe it’s your way of letting her know that you want to continue doing whatever it is the two of you are doing. Like it’s a reminder that “Hey, i still wanna frickle frackle, i’m just busy. Please don’t stop frickle frackling with me.”

Maybe that’s weird of you but still, it would feel even weirder if you suddenly stopped doing it, and you didn’t do it last night so she must be waiting for your text today.

Well...probably not.

She’s probably got a few girls up her sleeve other than you but sometimes you feel like she seems to..maybe..care?

You scoff and shake your head with a laugh.

Nah, she’s probably just horny all the time.

You focus on your phone screen again looking at the favorites list for a while.

**LaF**

**Carmilla**

**Perry**

**Pops**

How can someone you met only like a couple of weeks ago be more of a “favorite” than your dad?

Your expression changes into a somewhat sad one, or maybe that’s just how you feel inside. You wish you’d talk more with your dad, but he only ever seems to get further and further away. Still, the other three people are a great balance when it comes to that. Without those three other people you’d probably be so darn lonely all the time, just sitting at home waiting for your dad to get back only to probably give you a quick kiss goodnight and go to bed. At least you’ve got LaF to talk to whenever, and Perry to call and ask about advice and household things and Carmilla-

Well...Carmilla’s just there at night, or well during the day sometimes when you text each other out of the blue. You may only be with her for an hour or too most of the time before going back home to bed but it matters.

It makes a difference.

Besides you really do enjoy her company surprisingly. Sometimes getting away from your life, your day, your dad, the job, your house, your friends, sometimes it’s nice.

You continue to stare down at your favorites list.

**LaF**

**Carmilla**

**Perry**

**Pops**

You press on the contact name and start to type in a text.

-

Laura(6:30pm): hey!

Carmilla(6:30pm): hey cutie.

You’re staring down at your phone with a small smile. You’re leaning on Kirsch’s kitchen counter as he blabs on about some dude in class totally disrespecting one of the girls and how angry he got. Kirsch might not be the brightest boy in the bunch but he doesn’t like it when girls are treated lesser than they are. So you were listening to his rant as he searched the fridge for some beers and that’s when you got her text.

After radio silence for almost two days she finally texted you.

Laura(6:30pm): what’cha up too?

Carmilla(6:31pm): nothing much. I was wondering where you’ve been.

Laura(6:31pm): miss me already? :B

Carmilla(6:32pm): eh. not really.

You giggle to yourself as you press send knowing how Laura can probably tell you’re teasing.

Carmilla(6:32pm): soo, where have u been anyway?

“Dude!”

You turn around and see Kirsch holding two beers and giving you a curious look.

“You weren’t even listening, where you?”

“I was.”

“Pfff yeah sure. I ain’t that dumb bro, i can see you texting with the bae.”

He wiggles his eyebrows with a wide grin teasing you.

“She is not the ba-can you just-I hate that word. It sounds so terribly childish.”

“Whatever man, you’re still totally texting her aren’t you?”

“...Yeah.”

“Freaking awesome! So what’d she say??”

“Nothing she was just saying hi.” you slide your cellphone away from Kirsch on the counter and he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Uh huh??”

“Yup.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Okay.” he brushes it off and turns around to walk away and you relax your body but then he dashes toward your phone and you didn’t have time to react.

“NO--KIRSCH-”

He takes it and let’s out a victorious laugh as he stretches his arm up. Damn he’s tall. You try and grab it and you look like a child jumping and stretching while Kirsch just laughs his ass off.

“God fucking damn it Kirsch I fucking swear-”

“Chill out angry hottie.” he looks at your phone screen. He reads the texts in a sassy female tone. “ Sooooo where have you been anywaayyy?” he looks back down at you and wiggles his eyebrows. “Yeah, sure, you don’t care a bit.” he says sarcastically.

“Kirsch give me my fucking phone back.”

“Okay sure.”

“Finally.”

“Right after I send this quick little text.” he quickly types on your phone and you’re too slow to react again.

“KIRSCH DON’T YOU FUCKING DAR-”

“SENT!”

He hands you your phone back and you snatch it from him with furrowed panicked eyebrows.

Carmilla(6:34pm): I’ve missed you.

“Motherfucker-”

He hands you a beer with a slick grin and you glare at him before grabbing it angrily.

“Oh come on don’t be mad. It’s just a text.”

“You’re an asshole.”

You glare at him some more as he shrinks ashamed and takes a sip of his beer. You feel your phone vibrate in your clenched hand and you feel a wave of panic slowly go through you again.

Laura(6:35pm): ha! so i was right? :P

You swallow nervously. You don’t ever get like this and you don’t really understand why in the first place. You’re probably just angry that Kirsch would impersonate you with no permission like that. Your phone vibrates again.

Laura(6:36pm): i kinda do too. miss u i mean.

Laura(6:36pm): srry i’ve been kinda away. Works been milking me like a cow.

Laura(6:36pm): that’s...probably not the best metaphor to use but it’s too late now.

Carmilla(6:37pm): I thought i was the only one near your breast. you wound me.

Laura(6:37pm): very funny.

You scoff with a small smile on your lips. You had walked back to the couch and Kirsch sat next to you, occasionally eying your phone. You can tell he feels guilty for earlier since you did kind of snap at him stronger than usual, so you turn your head to him and he tenses up and looks back at the tv screen.

“You’re forgiven, you dumb puppy.”

He sighs relieved “ohthankgod” he wraps you in a quick tight hug. “So everything’s cool with the tiny babe?”

“Yeah yeah, everythings fine. Your text didn’t make anything awkward.”

“Cool cool….so...she didn’t freak when you said you missed her.”

“You said I missed her.”

“Yeah yeah answer the thing.”

You sigh and look away. “Yes, she didn’t freak out.” you hear Kirsch silently celebrate with a fist pump and you lower your head. “Laura knows what’s up Kirsch, she could tell I was probably kidding.”

“Kidding??”

you roll your eyes. “Yes kidding, or at least like saying I missed her for like sexual reasons.”

“And do you miss her for like sexual reasons?”

“Well I mean yeah I guess...She’s fun to be with and all that.” you say awkwardly and kind of shyly.

“Cool cool.”

You stare back at Kirsch who’s being quiet now and drinking his beer, but you can tell he’s smiling.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeaaah but i’m your idiot.” he pokes you with his elbow and you scoff.

“Whatever, can we please just get back to the movie?”

Kirsch had put on that Twilight movie. Something about vampires that sparkle. He knows how much you hate it but also how much you need to watch it. You get way too into it but it’s with Kirsch so it doesn’t bother you.

“You’re a vampire numbnutz! Eat her!”

-

Carmilla(6:40pm): i try ;)

You chuckle to yourself. You’re still in your dad’s office on your own and you still feel tired but texting Carmilla helped de-stress yourself from your long ass day. You send a quick reply before getting up and heading out of the office with your bag.

Laura(6:42pm): r u at your place right now?

You tiredly walk down the hall as you adjust your bag. You walk around looking through the rooms trying to see where your dad could be but nothing. You sigh and take the elevator. Once you’re at the lobby you look around but don’t find him anywhere. You shlump disappointed, you thought for sure he’d be done by now with all that you’ve helped but you guess you were wrong. Your phone vibrates so you calmly pull it out of your pocket and look at it.

Carmilla(6:50pm): i’m on my way home.

Carmilla(6:50pm): i was nearby.

You look around the lobby one last time and then look back down at your phone tired.

Laura(6:51pm): be there in 15.

You put your phone away and wave goodbye to Betty behind the front desk before stepping outside and hailing a cab. You yawn once you get comfortable in the cab.

-

Laura(6:42pm): r u at your place right now?

You stand up from the couch and quickly finish your beer. Kirsch is staring surprised at you.

“Sorry beefcake, I’ve got to go.”

“What? Whyyy??”

You grab your things and turn right before grabbing the door handle. “ Duty calls.” you smirk and start heading back to your apartment. It’s actually not far from Kirsch’s. Just a small walk. After a few minutes you text her back.

Carmilla(6:50pm): i’m on my way home.

Carmilla(6:50pm): i was nearby.

You don’t really know why you said that last part, it’s like you’re explaining yourself but Laura doesn’t care about that. Hell you don’t care about that.

Laura(6:51pm): be there in 15.

You smile and pick up your pace to get home sooner and after a few minutes you’re opening your door to your apartment and taking off your boots.

“Aaah home sweet home.”

You throw your keys on the kitchen counter and walk to the futon. As you comfortably sit down you text her again.

Carmilla(7:02pm): doors open.

Laura(7:03pm): ok, be there soon.

You lay down on the futon comfortably and place your phone on top of your stomach, resting one hand on it while the other one covers your eyes from the light.

Stupid light bulb, I should have turned it off before laying down.

You hear the door knob move and look towards the door to see a somewhat shy Laura step in.

“Hey.” she says as she closes the door behind her.

“Hey cupcake.” you smile and get up off of the futon to walk towards her. She drops her bag and takes her coat off, laying it on the kitchen island like always before walking your way too. She meets you half way with a tired but genuine smile as you cup her face with one hand and the other on her arm. She has her hands resting on your sides.

“You al right, creampuff?”

She huffs out a smile and just catches your lips. God how you missed those lips. She pulls away and stares down at them before staring up at your eyes, switching back from one to the other before talking.

“Are you wearing old make up? Your eyes look so much like Sarah Manning’s right now.”

“Sarah Manning?”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s Sarah Manning?”

Her eyes widen surprised at you. “Wait...you don’t know what Orphan Black is?”

“Orphan Black?”

She gasps and steps away from you. Oh no, did you just break like some unsaid rule or something? Your hands chase after her, trying to somehow bring her back to you without actually touching her.

“Okay, that’s it. We’re watching Orphan Black tonight.”

You blink away your previous expression and change it for a confused one.

“Do you have a laptop?”

“Well yeah but…” you step closer to her and stare down at her lips. “I had other things in mind right now.”

You lean in and kiss her intensely but she just hums against your lips before pulling back.

“No, i can’t have sex with someone who hasn’t seen Tatiana Maslany playing multiple characters and being extremely attractive in all of them.”

“If i watch it will you keep kissing me right now?”

“I make no promises.” she grins.

you roll your eyes and look away. “Ugh...fine. I’ll watch it.”

“Yesssss!” she gets excited and smiles more while looking down at your lips.

“But first…” you pull her towards you by her forearms and she just keeps smiling while leaning in, starting to kiss you again.

Your hands start to wonder from her shoulders to her back, slowly sliding down and stopping right before her pants waistband. Her hands cupping your face, pulling you in deeper and right as you deepen the kiss and brush your tongue over her lower lip your hands slide down to her ass, grabbing it and pulling her forward as she slightly stumbles. She kisses you hard, pushing you back before pulling away and leaving you searching for her lips to come back but they don’t.

“Orphan Black now, smooching later.” she says with a teasing grin.

“Ugh. Fine. This damn show better be worth it.”

-

You went to grab your laptop from your room and brought it to the futon. Laura looked the show up and sat next to you paying close attention to your reactions during every scene and episode.

“Shit Cosima’s really hot.”

“Yeah but technically she’s Tatiana so they should all be hot.”

“This is very confusing but also very arousing.”

Laura would laugh at your commentary and you couldn’t help but marathon watch the whole season one. At one point Laura had leaned her head on your shoulder and oddly enough, you didn’t mind it. In fact you kind of enjoyed it. You always seem to enjoy Laura’s company.

“No! How could they just take Helena like that? She’s a murderous assasin, that was way too easy! Please tell me this is bullsh--Laura?...Laura?”

You got so into the show that you didn’t notice Laura had fallen asleep.

“Cupcake..”

She grumbles and readjust her head on your shoulder. “ngg I’m awake I swear.” she says with a clearly sleepy voice.

You find yourself smiling at her adorable sleepy self and you shut your computer and put it aside.

You can’t believe you’re about to say this.

“Come on, you can sleep in my bed.”

“Noo, I promised i’d have some sexy time with you once we’re doneee.” she says whining adorably with her eyes closed.

You chuckle and stand up from the futon. Laura ends up falling to the side and laying on the futon uncomfortably and you laugh even more.

“Come on cupcake, you can make it up to me later.”

You reach down and grab her arm, pulling her up. She stumbles forward and bumps into you, her weight on top of you as you hold her steady. You unconsciously wrap your arms around her and she rest her head on the crook of your neck. You carefully guide her to your room and the bed where she climbs up like a incredibly cute cat and snuggles her face into your pillow. You shake your head and go to turn off the lights around your apartment. Once you’re done and turn off the light in your room you find your way into your bed, careful not to squish Laura as she sleeps. You grab the bed sheets and try to climb in under them. Laura moves a bit and you can feel she raises her head. Her body starts to move and she herself climbs under the sheets beside you. You turn on your side and cover yourself with the sheets, and you might not be able to see much in the darkness but you can just feel that Laura’s facing you on her side as well. You unconsciously reach forward and feel her beside you. You brush some hair out of her face and then your hand slides down her shoulder, her arm, until you reach the sheets. You pull the sheets up to cover her more and you feel her snuggle closer to you. Now you know for sure that she’s right in front of you. You can hear and feel her steady breathing and it’s actually very soothing. _You're quite fond of it._  

_You close your eyes and fall asleep to that sound._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try an update more often after next week. Summer classes are killing me but they end June 22! :D Then you guys will have me all to yourselves as a writing slave! hahaha
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)


	8. Jello Shots and Cheesecake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after Laura stayed over. They start getting used to each other in a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. this is a long one guys! good luck! hahaha
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)

> _Friendship: (noun)_
> 
> _a relationship of mutual affection_

 

* * *

 

You shift your body when some sunlight hits your face from your window. You switch your head, now facing to the left and away from the window. That’s when you feel some hair in your face. You inhale deeply when you immediately recognize the smell of coconut shampoo, your eyes still shut as you take Laura’s presence in.

It’s strange…

Laura has never gotten close to you when you lay together, other than the first time she came over and ended up staying the night. You can remember waking up to her on your chest, her arm wrapped around your waist and the very same smell of her shampoo in the air. So it comes to you as a surprise when you wake up to her forehead on your shoulder, her knee pressing against your left thigh. The subtle physical contact between you two is a nice surprise.

It’s a   _pleasant_ surprise.  

Still, it’s nothing compared to having her embracing you like the first time.

Why are you thinking about that anyway?

You feel Laura shifting beside you, her forehead pressing deeper into your shoulder before a small grumble escapes her mouth. You feel a small grin form across your lips as you stare at the girls actions next to you. She stretches her arm behind her, her hand grabbing at the empty space before grabbing onto her cell phone next to the pillow. She takes her phone to her face and stays still for a couple of seconds before dropping her arm and lazily resting it on your chest.

“Nnngggg…”

“Your use of words amazes me.” you say teasingly as you rest your chin on the top of her head. You feel her chest fill up with a lot of air before huffing it out.

“I have to go soon.”

You catch yourself pouting. Luckily Laura can’t see you doing it so no one can say anything about it.

“Can’t it wait?” you say in a somewhat whining tone.

“Mmmm…” Laura adjusts her head to look up at you. “I don’t know…”

You look down at her when she adjusts herself and speaks. You start to smirk and inch closer to Laura’s lips but Laura pulls back.

Why did she pull back?

You feel your chest get uneasy for some reason before Laura starts to speak again.

“No. We can’t. I’ve got morning breath.” she says covering her mouth with her hand and it’s so childish and so adorable that you can’t help the way your smirk grows.

“I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

“ _I_ mind.” she says inching further away, her words muffled by her hand.

“God you’re so picky sometimes.”

You lean forward pushing the bed sheets out of the way before pulling Laura closer by the waist. She let’s out a muffled groan as her hand still covers her mouth and you roll your eyes shaking your head slightly. You lean forward, burying your face on the crook of her neck. You rub your cold nose on her neck before opening your mouth and kissing it slowly, sucking at her neck once you feel her body relax, her hand slowly dropping from her mouth. You smile into her neck as you continue to suck. Her left hand starts tugging at your shirt, slightly pulling your body against hers. You pull back from her neck but only enough to hover near her lips, her eyes are glassy and small and when you look down at her lips she’s licking them. You’re about to lean forward and close the space when she leans down, tilting her head and starts kissing under your ear and down your neck. You feel yourself tilting your head back a little as you close your eyes, giving into the feeling of Laura’s lips. She starts sucking on a spot on your neck, staying there for a while before biting down on it. You gasp and Laura stops biting and starts kissing the spot she probably just left a hickey on. Hickey’s are a new thing between the two of you, you guess.

But hey, there’s no complaining from your side.

_Not. at. all._

You feel her hand on your hip pushing you to lay face up as she slides on top of you. Her hand slowly sliding up your side under your shirt. She starts kissing down your neck and down your collarbone as her hand keeps sliding higher and higher till she reaches your breast. You gasp at the touch and she pushes her hips against yours as she starts fondling your breast, sucking on the crook of your neck (no doubt leaving a mark). She bites down at the same time that her fingers brush against your nipple and you groan trying to keep control of yourself. Her face comes back up to look at you and she’s got a smug grin.

You really want to kiss her right now and you don’t necessarily understand why you’re so into kissing this girl _specifically_ , but you can’t take not being able to.

All because of some _morning breath_ that you could care less about, but every time you lean closer she pulls away not letting you get to her lips. That smug little face she’s making isn’t helping either.

“No kissing.”

You groan annoyed but quickly forget why when she starts kissing down your stomach, her hands sliding along your sides, her eyes glancing up at you every few seconds and she’s the only girl who ever manages to tease you like this. Her hands reach the waistband on your pants and slides them down along with your underwear. She smoothly slides them both off and tosses them to the side and she starts pulling her hair up into a pony tale while biting her lip.

 _That_ , along with looking the muscles on her biceps as she finishes up pulling her hair up, turns you on all the more.

She readjusts herself and slides her arms under your thighs, tugging you closer as she hovers over where you want her the most. She glances up at you and smiles so cutely with that strange shy look she get’s some times and you can see her cheeks starting to redden up before she leans in kissing your inner thigh, slowly making her way to your center. Once she gets there she teases you brushing her lower lip over your center before she starts kissing you down there. You gasp and throw your head back when she starts moving her mouth in ways that you never knew you needed till now and moan when she flattens her tongue and passes it through your folds. She keeps moving her lips and tongue like that rhythmically and you arch your back every time her tongue reaches your clit. Your breathing is heavy now and you have a hand tangled in her hair and another on your breast.

“Fuck... how are you so good at this?”

You whimper when her mouth leaves it’s place and you quickly look down at Laura who’s looking up at you with a big grin.

“I eat a lot of ice cream.”

“That was a rhetorical question. Please just--keep doing what you were doing...god can you just--please.”

She giggles but digs her head down and starts moving her mouth a bit faster making your moans be more constant and when you moan with a small whine you feel one of her hands leave it’s place on your thigh, pushing two fingers inside you making you gasp and tighten the grip on her hair. She starts curling her fingers as she makes small circles on your clit with her tongue and occasionally sucks. You’re so far gone and your hips start buckling up with every movement she makes, every finger thrust between curls and then you lose it and start gasping short breaths ending with one last weak whimper. She passes her tongue flat slowly one last time taking everything in and sucking her fingers. You try and talk between your panting.

“That was...you just…”

She giggles and starts kissing up your stomach, to your chest, to your neck until she’s hovering over your face with a small grin. You raise your head a little to capture her lips but she dodges you with raised eyebrows and you groan.

“Cupcake, you can’t be serious.”

“I am.” she gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and slides off of you. “ I gotta go.”

“ngggg already?”

“Yup, times up _cutie_.”

She hops out of bed and you quickly follow, sliding on your underwear and stepping in her space.

“That’s not fair.”

“Yeah, not fair for _me_. Sorry lady killer, I have to go to work.” she pushes you away gently and you groan.

“Ugh, fine.” you follow her to the door where she slips on her shoes and grabs her coat to leave. You step close to her again and pull her closer by the waist biting your lip. She smiles and leans in but looks away when she was about to reach your lips. “Ugh, you’re killing me Hollis.”

She steps away and grabs the door handle.

“Sorry hehe...at least now...i’ll be tasting you _all..day_..”

_You’ve got to be fucking kidding me._

You can’t take it anymore. Her words both turned you on and made you blush so you quickly push the door shut as you hover over her biting your lip.

“Now that’s just not fair, leaving me with that last line.”

Laura smiles and blushes bashfully, playfully pushing your shoulder.

“Not my problem.” she grabs the door handle and opens the door taking two steps out before hesitating and turning around. She leans in, her nose brushing against yours as she stares down at your lips, licking her own as she lingers.

“Bye.”

She gives you a quick peck on the lips and walks out, closing the door behind her. You lean against the doors and groan with your eyes closed as you lick your lips. It’s faint, but you can taste yourself from Laura’s lips.

Another taste to add to your list of the way Laura’s kisses taste.

“Ughhh. Damn.” How can this girl manage to tease me? and how can I like it so much?

You walk back to your room and jump on to your bed. Your face is buried in your pillows and you take in the smell of Laura that lingers in them. You close your eyes and chuckle at that thought before going to sleep with a deep sigh.

-

You went straight to the office, rolling up your sleeves and taking your coat off hoping that no one notices you’re in the same clothes as yesterday. You turn on a corner and almost run into your dad.

“Dad!”

“Laura! where have you been??”

“What? Oh, I’m sorry dad I should have called you l-”

“Damn right you should’ve. I thought you slept it today.”

You look at your dad confused and see that he has bags under his eyes and realize what’s going on.

_He didn’t get home last night._

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re here snookums. Could you get everyone’s status reports and put them on my desk? I’m gonna go grab a quick coffee downstairs.”

He kisses the top of your head and walks away before you could even answer. He didn’t even notice you didn’t come home last night.

It’s weird...

You’re angry but oddly glad that he didn’t notice you stayed over at Carmilla’s place. You sigh and start going office by office to get everyone’s reports.

Once you’re done you head to your dad’s office and lay them out for him on his desk. You go around his desk and sit in his chair to finally relax with a sigh. You’re swinging in the chair a little from side to side when you lick your lips and suddenly remember where they had been only hours ago. You can still taste Carmilla on them and it’s oddly very pleasing and warming. You giggle and blush as you close your eyes and give into the taste and thoughts of Carmilla. You bite your lower lip as a smile starts to grown on them.

Then you hear someone barge in opening the door and you jump up and out of your thoughts. It’s your dad and as he walks in you quickly stand up from his chair nervously (which is stupid because it’s not like he knows what you were thinking about literally seconds ago, or more like _who_ you were thinking about.) You feel your mind drifting back there and you blink away the thoughts of that grumpy beautiful girl. You straighten up, stiffening awkwardly as you stare at your dad.

“Got those reports I asked for?”

“Yup, right here on your desk.”

He walks past you and sist down on his chair not once glancing at you as he eyes the reports. You sigh to yourself as your expression changes completely from the one you had earlier when you were alone in this office. You go to leave the office so your dad can keep working.

“Snookums?”

You freeze and turn around.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” he smiles tiredly at you.

“No problem dad.”

“You can go have some lunch with LaF if you want. I’ll call you later when I need you, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks dad.”

He smiles before going back to his reports so you turn to leave again and open the door. You’re already closing the door when you hear it.

“Love you.”

You stick your head in the office with a big smile.

“Love you too.”

You close the door behind you and now you’re all smiles. You take out your phone once you reach the elevator to text LaF when you stare at the previously contacted list.

**Carmilla**

You stay staring at it silently for awhile until the elevator dings and startles you, opening the doors. You slide on LaF’s contact and step out of the elevator.

“Yo!”

“Hey LaF! Wanna go grab a bite?”

-

_BANG BANG BANG_

You wake up to someone banging on your door.

_BANG BANG BANG_

“Lazy Farts I know you’re theeeeereeee! Open uuuup!”

You groan angrily into your pillow and sleepily go to open the door.

“WHAT?!”

Kirsch notices you’re in a t-shirt and underwear and sees your wild hair.

“You still sleeping?”

You scoff and rub your eye. You see Kirsch’s eyes widen before you can actually speak.

“Wait! You smell like sex! OH MY GOD _were you having sex_?! Why didn’t you just say so bro?! I would’a let you do your thing!”

“Kirsch. I was not having sex right now.”

“Oh….wait...but you totally DID have sex today didn’t you? I can feel it in the air! I can just feel it in the-- _WAIT_.”

“ _What_ , Kirsch?”

“Is she here?! Omg can I like meet her?! I wanna meet her. It was with _her_ wasn’t it?! Holy cow she stayed over. This is big, woah hello tiny hottie I’m-”

“-a big idiot.”

Kirsch pouts at your interruption and you roll your eyes.

“She’s not here.”

“Awwww maaaan.”

“She was...a while ago..you just missed her.”

“Omg so she DID stay over! Fucking yeah man! This is awesome.” he punches your shoulder playfully. “I’m so proud of you dude.”

“Kirsch please shut up! You’re completely nuts.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am nooooot!”

“Jesus! you’re such a child.”

“Yeah but I’m your ch-”

“Shut up. Just come in, you already ruined my nap.”

Kirsch steps inside walking by with a little swing and a huge grin feeling like he’s won. You close the door behind him and go to the kitchen to make yourself a bowl of cereal. You see that Kirsch looks uneasy so you finish making your bowl and sit in a stool by the island facing him.

“ _Whaaat’s wrooong_?”

“Well...okay...so like..I kinda wanted to ask you about something since I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mind just thinking about it buuuut..”

“But?”

He sighs. “There’s this big Zeta Silas party thing tomorrow night and I was wondering if you could go with me like a bro you know?”

“And why in the world would I want to go to one of those sweaty beef cake parties?”

“Beecaaaaaause I’m asking you since I’m really nervous cause it’s kinda more like a reunion themed party and not a current students party so like a lot of people that I know who already graduated are gonna be there and I wanna go but…”

“You don’t want to go alone because people are gonna be there asking you why you haven’t graduated yet.”

He rubs the back of his neck with a worried look on his face.

“Yeaaaah...so like...would you come? Please C.”

You hum intrigued and take a spoonful of cereal before speaking.

“ _Fine_ , I’ll go, but you’re getting all the drinks.”

“Awesome! Totally! I’m buying! Thanks man.”

-

“Why are we going to this party again?”

“Because everyone will be there and girls are getting free drinks until midnight! Plus LaFontaine wants to take samples or something from the Zeta’s pool.”

You sigh as you listen to Perry talk about this big important party Silas is having that’s _“strictly in celebration of all ex students and current Zeta’s. Other students are only allowed if they’re babes who like to party”_ or at least that’s what the virtual flyer read.

You’re resting your chin on your hand as you look out the truck’s window. You didn’t really feel like going out today but LaF told you about this big party yesterday at lunch and you’ve been hella busy with work and well...Carmilla, but that’s beside the point. You feel like you owe your friends some bonding time so the hell with staying in today.

You look down at your phone and at the open message you haven’t typed anything into yet. You keep thinking you should text her like you always do when you don’t meet up with her at her place for... _physical activities_...but at the same time you don’t think she’d like the whole _“I’m not having sex with you today because I’m going to a party with a bunch of other people and possible lesbians.”_ thing, so you’re not so sure you should text her. Then you start thinking about how much of a dumb argument this is, being that she’s not your girlfriend or anything so you don’t need to be thinking about her getting jealous or you not texting her to let her know where you’re going, so there’s that thought.

“We’re heeeere! Come on! Let’s go check out that nasty pool!”

You step out of LaF’s truck and straighten up your tank top before following LaF and Perry inside. At the door there’s two guys with trays filled with jello shots and they tell you you can’t enter unless you speak the Zeta code. Which turns out to be _“take a shot and you can go in.”_ You take one and grab another for the road as you step inside to a crowded house. LaF immediately storms out to the pool and Perry follows along saying they’ll be right back. You don’t bother to follow, instead you stand by the stairs and take your jello shot. When you’re done doing your sour face you go to turn around and nearly bump into someone.

“Oh-sorry!” your eyes widen once you see who it is.

_Carmilla._

“I was going to say something rude, but now that I see who it is...I don’t mind almost being rammed to the ground.”

“Nice to see you too.” you smile sweetly and she does the same.

Neither of you have texted each other since like yesterday afternoon so it’s a nice surprise. Plus she’s staring at you with these intense eyes that just-

“L! I got you one of those free lady drinks. Dude handed it to me with the whole _‘here babe’_ thing. Figures.”

LaF stands between the two of you and sees what’s going on, apparently catching on fast to the mood they just interrupted. They give you a look like they know that this vibe is totally new and instantly know who this girl next to you is.

“Sorry. Soo Natalie and Betty are over there with Perry and they want to say hi.” they point with their free hand in the direction they mean and you look and find them all enthusiastically waving at you.

“Right, be right there.”

LaF gives you a mischievous nod and walks away to the gang. You turn to face Carmilla who’s still staring at you.

“Uuuh...I gotta go…”

“You never get tired of that line do you?” she gives you a playful smirk as she raises her chin while she talks.

“Maybe I just feel like teasing you again.” you do the same with your chin and smile smugly. You touch her arm as you start walking away, letting your hand slide down her arm to her hand and letting go once you reach her finger tips. She keeps smiling at you seductively and you bite your lip before turning around and heading for your friends.

-

You’re waiting for Kirsch to come back from the bar to get you a new drink. You won’t lie, you’ve been staring at Laura every chance that you get when she walks by or when she's with her group of friends or even when she looks at you back. You smile down as you stir what’s left of your drink before you hear someone talk.

“But bro, how come you still haven’t graduated? Did you like fail a bunch of classes or something? Bro I knew you were slow sometimes but damn.”

You quickly put your drink down and storm through the crowd angry. There’s no way those assholes are getting away with treating your puppy like that, not when you’re not there to have his back.

“Wiiiiiilsoooooon!”

Your attention suddenly goes to the dramatic yelling voice that sounds oh so familiar and you stop in your tracks when you see that Laura’s making her way towards Kirsch.

“What?” 

“Sorry, that’s a movie reference I used to use on this guy when his attention was drifting away in class. This _guy_ who is actually _way_ smarter than any of you three pip squeaks who had to repeat english lit because you got less that 10% on the Beowulf test which _HE_ aced.”

Kirsch looks just as surprised as you do at Laura passively aggressively defending him, making the dudes awkwardly back off as a tiny ball of passive aggressive rage blows up on them. She gives Kirsch a small smile and he gives her one back.

“Thanks Little hottie. _WAIT_. LITTLE HOTTIE?!?! you’re here?!”

“Hi Kirsch. Glad to see you remember my name.”

“Right right sorry, uh Laura right?”

“Yeah hahaha.”

“This is sooo cool. You’re here and you’re wwwwww...well...you’re hot.”

“I wasn’t aware the temperatures were affecting me, but thanks.”

“No that's not what I me-Oh wait..that’s..oh...my bad.”

“It’s fine.” she laughs. “I’m gonna go get me another drink so see you later.”

“Yeah totally laters little hottie!”

Laura shakes her head with a smile and pats his bicep before walking away.

You’re frozen in place after seeing that whole act happen right before you. You didn’t even have to defend Kirsch from those guys, Laura did it for you. Which is strange because then that means that Kirsch knows Laura. Kirsch walks towards you with a big smile and hands you your drink.

“Woah C. you missed out on some awesome verbal battle going on over me. It was bad ass.”

“Yeah...I saw…” you say with a furrowed brow as you take your drink.

“Come on! There playing beer pong over there! Let’s beat those suckers!”

 

After playing some beer pong and beating the other guys easily you went to the bar they had between the kitchen and the dining room. You’re leaning back into the bar as you sip from your drink and stare at everyone at the party. You’ve been here for a few hours now and haven’t actually noticed how many Zeta’s, drunk girls, older guys, etc. are here. There’s quite a mix here tonight but what you’re currently looking for or better yet _who_ you’re currently looking for is nowhere to be seen.

_Laura._

Where did she go after that thing with Kirsch? Is she outside or in the back? The truth is, you kind of want her to be near you ever since you ran into her a few hours back so the fact that you can’t even seem to spot her now is really aggravating.

That is until you see her taking a quick turn from the bar holding two drinks with the utmost concentration and she stops once she notices someone is standing in the way. That someone being you of course as you lean on the bar. Her eyes travel up your boots till they reach your face and she smiles widely.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” you reply with a smile. “you should really be more careful when you walk, cupcake.”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t mind literally running into me.”

“Fair point.”

She smiles more and stares down at your own smile. You stand there in silence for a moment before you realize you’re gazing into a girls eyes while at a wild party. She must’ve realized it two because she looks out to the crowd dancing in the living room and steps closer to you. She puts her drinks on the bar beside her as she leans closer to you.

“You know, I wasn’t expecting to find such gorgeous girls at a Zeta party.”

“That so? And where are these _gorgeous girls_?”

She stares at you with these glassy slightly drunk eyes and a smug smile that you find so adorable right now.

“Well...I actually just meant one girl but that wouldn’t be fair for everyone here to know.”

“Not even me?”

“mmmm I guess I could tell you buuuut you have to keep it between us.”

you smile wide and laugh silently as Laura drunkenly smiles back at you and laughs herself.

“Okay.” you say.

“Okay” she says with a big smile as she suspiciously looks around before leaning closer and waving her hand for you to lean in as if to tell you a secret. You oblige and lean in as she puts a hand beside her mouth as if to whisper and once you put your ear against her she takes her hand and grabs your chin, turning you towards her as she plants a tender kiss on your lips.

“Sooo it’s me?” you whisper against her mouth as you give her another kiss.

“Don’t tell anyone. They’ll fight me for you.”she whispers back and smiles into another kiss.

“We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“No, we wouldn’t.”

The two of you start laughing silently as she moves away from your lips and stands beside you, leaning on the bar herself. She takes a sip of her drink and licks her lips as she puts it back down, staring at you. Her cheeks are rosy as she stares into your eyes with these sparkly slightly drunk ones.

“Where are your friends?” you ask.

She takes your hand and starts playing with it as she keeps staring at you with those eyes.

“Around.”

“Around?”

“Yup. I’ll find them later.”

“So you’d rather stay here with me than be with your friends?”

“Weeeeeell I wouldn’t say thaaat but…” she looks away into the crowd again and then back at you sweetly. “ I might want your company for now.” she looks down at your hands.

“Yeah, me too.” you look down at your hands two and start to join her in playing with your hand by playing with hers too. You slip into a comfortable silence again as you just look at each other’s hand, at each others eyes and back.

That is until that red headed friend of hers pops back up and Laura stops playing with your hand. Her attention going to her friend.

“You really can’t be helped can ya? You were supposed to bring Perry her drink like hours ago.”

“Don’t exaggerateee, it’s only been like 10 minutes.” she says handing them one of the drinks she had placed on the bar.

You look back down at your hand that’s now alone and feel strange and confused when you notice you miss having her hand with yours. Laura glances at you for an instant after handing them their drink and you grab her hand after knowing she’s still paying attention to you. She stares at you this time for a second before a smile forms on her face and she interlocks your fingers together, taking a sip of her drink as she gives her attention back to her friend.

You don’t mind though. And you don’t mind just holding Laura’s hand either.

Kirsch must have noticed it though as he smiles and walks towards you.

“Hey ladies!”

“Hey Kirsch.” says Laura.

“Holy shit it’s that puppy guy.” says Laura’s friend once they turn around and see who’s standing behind them.

“Oh, hey science nerd. Didn’t see it was you. How’s it going?”

“Not much. Extended my degree in order to use the lab more.”

“Cool, cloned any goats yet?”

“Not that I can tell you about.”

Kirsch laughs and so does Laura as she leans her body towards you, her hand never leaving yours. She stares at you while she’s still laughing and her face changes into one of realisation.

“Oh-crap right! LaFontaine this is Carmilla, Carmilla this is LaFontaine. Oh and that’s-”

“Kirsch, yeah I know.” you say.

“You do? Oh.”

“Yeah me and this broody babe go way back. We came together. Like, not like a couple together but like bro’s together.” says Kirsch.

“Thank God that’s cleared out.” you say sarcastically before taking a sip of your drink.

Kirsch glares at you with pursed lips that slowly turn into a mischievous smile after he glanced down at your joint hands with Laura.

He must have realized this Laura and your Laura are the same Laura.

_Oh no._

“Soooo how do you two know each other, Laura?”

_That fucker._

You give him a murderous glare and he tenses up but you can see him trying to hide his smile.

“Oh that’s uh...we uh..” Laura struggles, her hand wavering a bit from yours. You swear you’re going to kill him for this later. “..accidentally texted the wrong number and kinda kept chatting anyways.”

You look at Laura surprised and she has this sincere and kind of shy grin on. It makes your own grin surface and grow. You try and look away to seem unaffected but end up finding LaFontaine’s stare. It’s a somewhat serious one for a few seconds but then they give you a half smile and start nodding.

“ _Oh yeeeeah_ , I remember that. Laura doesn’t get off of her phone now.” they say.

You knit your eyebrows together a little confused as you continue to stare at them but then you feel Laura’s grip loosen as she quickly lets go of your hand. You turn your head to look at your now empty hand and up at Laura who seems nervous.

“That’s not-I always have my phone. You should know, You text me all day.” Laura says defensively.

“Riiiight.”

“What’s everyone talking about? Oh! Hello Kirsch.” says a new red head.

“Peeerryyyy! I was wondering where you went.” says Laura.

“Yeah Per, by the way this is Carmilla.” LaFontaine gestures to you. “ _Laura’s texting buddy_.”

“Aaaaaaaah I see, hello Carmilla, pleasure to meet you.”

She extends her hand which you awkwardly shake.

“Hi.”

-

You glare at LaF like you’re about to bite their head off which they probably notice since they’re trying to not look at you in the eye.

“Glad you could all be introduced.” you mutter. "I’m gonna go ahead to the dance floor now.”

You say a bit harshly and look at Perry before you start walking away. You manage to hear Perry speaking, glad that she got your message.

“We’ll be right behind you! Come on LaFontaine.”

You slide through the crowd full of people you don’t really know and stop once you find a nice somewhat empty space for you and your gang. You turn around to see Perry and LaF closing in on you.

“What the heck was that?!”

“Chill Frosh I was just messing with her a little. She seems pretty cool from what I could get by the way.”

“It doesn’t matter if she’s _pretty cool_ , she’s not my girlfriend or anything! So that whole awkward scenario was totally unnecessary LaF!”

“Sheesh, I got it. I was just checking out the girl that’s been keeping my best friends so busy lately. No need to get so fired up.”

“Ugh. It was totally un cool LaF.”

“Sorry, L. Won’t happen again, promise. But she’s quite a looker, way to get the girl L.”

“How many times do I--you know what, let’s just stop talking about this before I get myself more worked up.”

“Good plan.”

You glare at LaF, Perry gently pants your bicep with a tight smile. You look back at the bar between the crowd and see Carmilla talking to Kirsch with her usual cool and unaffected look. You sigh to yourself and grab LaF’s drink for yourself, taking a big gulp.

Maybe you should just stay out of sight for a while after that awkward moment. You came here with LaF and Perry anyway so you should just stick with them and give them your attention instead.

  
After all this _is_ a Silas Reunion party. ****

You sigh and give LaF and Perry one last glare before your expression changes into a smile.

“So, are we gonna dance or what?”

They look at each other and smile back at you.

“Fuck yeah we are.”

You start dancing and laughing with LaF and Perry for a few songs and then Betty and Natalie join in. You keep dancing and laughing since all of you aren’t taking this very seriously and just goofing off. You miss having all these weirdos on your everyday life at Silas and when you see Natalie dancing through random people in the crowd even awkwardly splitting a few couples up on purpose you start laughing louder.

You’re really glad you came to this party. It’s nothing like the last one you went to and you couldn’t be happier about that. Not that it was a bad party but well...you have your reasons to not have liked it so much.

“Uw uw uwuuuu uwww you’re gonna love this!” Betty starts to sing along to the ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ song that comes up and everyone around you starts joining into your groups fun. Most of them obviously being drunk strangers and Zeta party bro’s but it’s all fun times and no drama which you love.

You’re really having a good time.

“I just want to have fun tonight! Pull me under the flashing light! OOoooooh! Let me blow up this house tonight!”

you start to sing along and everyone starts jumping lightly around you until the beat drops and you all go wild. People would be surprised on how much Perry can do whipping her curls around. LaF stands defensively away from Perry as they fear for their life when she get’s wild and it’s all hilarious to you. Then Betty’s trying to twerk and it’s even more hilarious because Betty’s dance moves are full on white girl vine dance moves. Then everyone starts singing to the lyrics real loud in some extreme bro chorus.

“We go hard or we go home! We gon’ do this all night long. We get freaky if you want. Na-na-nana-na!”

Some dude starts dancing next to you with a wacky face and you dance along with him as he tries to do some sort of crumping.

Yeah it’s a wild night.

You suddenly catch yourself looking through the crowd towards the bar where Carmilla still is but you stop dancing and your smile fades when you notice she’s talking to some curly haired girl now. Carmilla looks back at you and you both just stare at each other blanky for a few seconds until LaF literally pulls you out of it. You stare at them as they keep jumping lightly along with the crowd.

“Not anything huh?”

You glance back at Carmilla and see that she’s listening to the girl but glances back at you again.

“...yeah…”

You turn to LaF and then back at the rest of your dancing friends and you start smiling again and getting back to dancing.

After a few more party songs you leave the party with LaF and Perry who are all tired out.

You don’t say goodbye to Carmilla when you leave.

-

Carmilla(3:42am): where r u?

Laura(3:48am): already left.

Carmilla(3:48am): really?

Laura doesn’t answer back so you keep talking to this girl who is obviously hitting on you but is actually pretty interesting and smart and pretty so she’s quite a catch.

Not a bad way to end a night.

-

The next morning you wake up in a couch that’s not your own. You groan as you cover yourself with a blanket, trying to keep the sunlight away.

You hear someone coming closer but don’t move from your position when you feel someone throw themselves on you.

“Oof!” you let out.

“Wake up lazy farts! It’s noon already!”

“Stop calling me lazy farts.”

“No way bro.”

“Ugh.” you sit up in the couch with a sleepy face and wild hair. “ If you don’t make me some coffee right now I am never going to get out of this couch.”

“Already on it.”

He stands up from the couch and jogs to the kitchen, coming back with a hot mug.

“Ow ow ow ow.”

He hands it to you carefully and you laugh at him.

“Don’t burn yourself. Who would make me lunch?”

“I knew you only loved me for my food.”

“No comment on that one.”

You carefully take a sip of your coffee and Kirsch sits next to you on his couch.

“Kirsch.”

“Yeah?”

“How is it that you know Laura anyway?”

He smirks and nods before looking up to think.

“Well Laura and I had like a english lit class together first year and she helped me out with some of those weird old english books.”

“What was she like at Silas?” you ask adjusting your sitting so that you’re facing Kirsch, taking another sip of your coffee.

“Weeeeell I don’t know. She kinda kept to herself mostly. Always had things to do and not much time for partying. She’d always make time to help me out if I asked though so that was pretty cool of her.”

You hum and nod looking down at your coffee nonchalantly.

“...You guys aren’t a thing then?” he asks.

“ _No_ , we aren’t.”

“Well...okay but just so you know I totally approve. Laura’s a _babe_. She’s smart, she’s dorky, she can be tough but sweet and well yeah she’s a babe so. I almost tried to get there one time but she started going out with some tall hottie from the summer society sister thing. But yeah, whatever. I totally rather have her with you though. So don’t worry about me and stuff.”

“ _Kirsch_ we aren’t dating or anything.”

“Well okay but like...I don’t know if you noticed buuuut you turned down a total babe last night.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh my gooood and you say i’m the idiot.”

“Ugh fuck off, Kirsch, just-forget it. I’m going home.” you stand up and put the mug down as you head to the door. “Call you later.”

“Okay, later. OH! thanks for going with me yesterday by the way. Seriously.”

“Yeah, no problem. I had a nice time…bye.”

After a short walk you finally get home and take off your boots, throwing the keys on the kitchen island. You take off your shirt and throw it on the futon, staying in your black bra. You go to your fridge and take out some cookies Laura had picked out for you that time she went grocery shopping with you. You drop yourself on the futon and lazily lay there eating cookies before taking your phone out.

Carmilla(12:20pm): what are u up to, cupcake?

Laura(12:26pm): stuck at the office.

Carmilla(12:26pm): all work and no play?

Laura(12:29pm): more like all paper and many cuts. (paper cuts suck so hard.)

Carmilla(12:30pm): so wait, are u like ur dad’s secretary or is there more to ur job than excessive working?

Laura(12:34pm): I’m kind of everything. At the same time.

Carmilla(12:34pm): that’s not fair for u.

Laura(12:35pm): yeah well...yeah.

Carmilla(12:35pm): are u okay?

Laura(12:48pm): yeaaaah, just tired. i’ve been working all day with a massive hangover.

Carmilla(12:48pm): ha! did u get home ok?

Laura(12:50pm): yeah, LaF gave me a ride. Only slept like 3 hours though. T.T

Carmilla(12:51pm): I just woke up.

Laura(12:51pm): u suck.

“Haha.” you take a bite of another cookie as you smile at your phone and type a reply.

Carmilla(12:52pm): plus i didn’t drink that much last night...u on the other haaand..

Laura(12:52pm): shut up, i was having a good time with friends plus i was in a good mood.

Carmilla(12:53pm): and why was that?

Laura(12:55pm): well i hadn’t gone to a zeta party in a long time.

Laura(12:55pm): last time wasn’t exactly a good party for me so..

Carmilla(12:56pm): mind if i ask why?

Laura takes some time to text you back and you put away your cookies and head to your room as you start undressing to shower. You turn on the faucet and let the water warm up, turning around once you hear your phone vibrate.

Laura(1:08pm): i don’t think u’d care about that story much.

Carmilla(1:08pm): u never know.

Carmilla(1:08pm): what is it? did u go and do some table dancing?

Laura(1:09pm): hahaha no but my friend Natalie did.

Laura(1:09pm): I on the other hand was too busy fighting with my gf at the time over me drinking.

Carmilla(1:09pm): over u drinking?

Laura(1:10pm): yeah...she wasn’t a fan of me and alcohol or well..me and anything that was not considered “good or safe” for her. but w.e

Carmilla(1:11pm): well that must have sucked. glad it’s in the past then.

Carmilla(1:11pm): now u can drink all u want buttercup.

Laura(1:12pm): i’m not an alcoholic, woman!

Carmilla(1:13pm): hahaha i’m not saying u are.

Laura(1:13pm): good because i had enough of that shit back then. i hate being mothered.

Carmilla(1:14pm): well if i can recall correctly, ur friend was the one that got so wasted u had to go and help, not u. so i think u can more than handle ur booze.

Laura(1:15pm): THANK U.

Laura(1:16pm): anyway, i’m working right now. txt u later?

Carmilla(1:17pm): yeah, sure.

You put your phone away and continue showering.

-

“Ughhh will the paperwork ever end?!”

You say laying your head against the keyboard.

You’ve been working on your dad’s computer all freaking day fixing reports, replying to emails, making new reports based on the email replies, it’s never ending!

But your dad’s been overworking himself again and you don’t want him to get sick or something. If he keeps missing his sleep he’s going to start losing it. So here you are, letting your forehead type gibberish on the computer as you tiredly lay on the keyboard.

It’s like what, 7pm?

You deserve a break. You freaking earned a break, but then you stare down at all the info you have to make digital and email it to everyone and you whine with a groan.

_This. Sucks._

“Laura, are you finished with-”

“Already emailed it.”

“And the-”

“already sent the reply.”

“What about-”

“Currently still typing. Should be done by 8.”

You reply to your dad never raising your head from the keyboard. You hear him huff out some air and walk closer.

“You know you’re my favorite daughter right?”

“I’m your _only_ daughter, dad.”

“Well...true but...you know what I mean.”

You tilt your head so you can look at your dad.

“Any other thing you need help with, dad?”

“No no no! You’ve done enough kiddo. Let your old man handle everything else.”

Your dad smiles at you with a chuckle and you can still see the bags under his eyes. You sigh and straighten up, sitting properly as you continue to type.

“No, I want to help. I don’t have anything better to do so.”

“You sure snookums? I can stay the extra hours here by myself.”

“No, if I help we can both make it home before midnight.”

“Okaaay. If you say so kiddo.”

You smile and stretch your back groaning as you feel all your muscles hurt. You grab the mouse and delete everything your forehead typed before going to look at what you need to type again.

“Hey, Laura.”

“Yeah dad?”

“Are you free on wednesday night?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Don’t make any plans. We’re gonna go to the movies and watch some sappy chick flick together. Like the good ol’ days huh kiddo?”

You smile brightly. “Yeah, sure dad.”

He nods happily and walks out taking out his phone and calling someone.

You smile widely to yourself as you get motivated again and start typing fast.

Movie night with dad on wednesday?

You can’t even remember when was the last time you two had some father/daughter time and you can’t believe your dad was the one who suggested it. You’re kind of really excited about it now.

-

Your phone vibrates while you’re laying in bed re-reading one of your favorite books. You reach to see who texted you and smile when you read the text.

Laura(10:52pm): working should be ILLEGAL on mondays. I SWEAR.

Carmilla(10:53pm): rough day?

Laura(10:53pm): I think my fingers are cramped from typing on a computer so much.

Carmilla(10:53pm): oh that’s not good. for u AND for me.

Laura(10:54pm): that is very true.

Carmilla(10:58pm): u okay?

Laura(10:58pm):  yeah my hands just kind of hurt.

Carmilla(10:59pm): well stop texting then.

Carmilla(10:59pm): rest up.

Laura(11:00pm): are u saying u don’t want to talk anymore? meany.

Carmilla(11:01pm): haha nooo i’m saying u should take care of yourself.

Carmilla(11:01pm): how else am i going to get any if u get arthritis/carpal tunnel?

Laura(11:01pm):...

Laura(11:01pm):...fair point.

Laura(11:01pm): i’d become an expired sex toy.

Laura(11:02pm): the horror.

Carmilla(11:02pm):hahaha! good night cupcake.

Laura(11:08pm): night carm.

-

It’s Tuesday now and you’re starting to really feel uneasy.

You don’t like whatever this feeling is.

You don’t like it at all.

It’s been _three days_ without sex and _two days_ without even seeing Laura and you can’t get that damn girl out of your mind. You haven’t been able to all this time but you hadn’t actually noticed it until now.

 _Now_ that you’re leaving work and you’re starting to feel strange and uneasy is when the thought finally forms in your head.

You _miss_ her.

You shake your head not believing what’s on your mind as you keep walking back home. There’s no way, there’s just no way that that’s it. Kirsch must be getting to you with all his feelings babble and interventions, that’s all. You don’t really miss her, you’re just...overthinking things now that you have so much free time on your hands, that’s all.

Still, you can’t keep that stupid thought out of your head now and you don’t like it one bit so you try and keep yourself entertained by watching some netflix at home by yourself.

No Kirsch.

No Will.

No _Laura_.

Just you, some chocolate and nothing but your underwear.

At least that’s what you keep trying to think as you watch another episode of the Vampire Diaries. You’re five episodes into this mini marathon when your phone rings and lights up. You reach for it and read the text.

Laura(8:12pm): HELP. i'm in a meeting and i’m falling asleep!

You chew on your chocolate and hesitate as you stare at your phone screen.

Carmilla(8:14pm): think about old men in thongs.

Laura(8:14pm): EW. WTH. WHY WOULD U DO THAT??

Carmilla(8:15pm): did it work?

Laura(8:15pm):...it did..

Carmilla(8:16pm):  See.

You go back to watching the episode trying to not think about having sent her such a vague reply and not to pay attention to your phone but then it rings again.

Laura(8:25pm): I’M TRAUMATIZED.

Laura(8:25pm): MY DAD WALKED INTO THE MEETING AND BECAME PART OF UR THONG PLAN. THIS IS ALL UR FAULT. SEND HELP. MY MENTAL IMAGE EYES ARE BLEEDING.

You laugh out loud hard and pause your episode as you try and regain yourself and reply.

Carmilla(8:26pm): then picture me in a thong instead.

Laura(8:27pm): Thats...just...rude…

Carmilla(8:27pm): did it work?

Laura(8:27pm): ...well yeah but

Laura(8:27pm): totally made things worse for me.

Carmilla(8:28pm): ur awake now aren’t u?

Laura(8:28pm): more than i should ever be in an office.

Carmilla(8:29pm): then my work here is done.

Carmilla(8:29pm): have fun mind fucking me cutie ;)

Laura(8:29pm): UR JUST...WHY WOULD U...i'm going to get u back for this.

Carmilla(8:30pm): you’ll TRY and most likely FAIL. ;)

You put your phone aside and press play, getting back to your episode when a few minutes later you receive another text.

Laura(8:40pm): -download image-

You press it and a big smile grows on your face when you see an image of Laura bending down under a table, flipping you off. Her hair draping to the side and her signature bunched up face. You laugh and keep staring at this new picture of her wondering how long it’s been since she last sent you a picture. You make it her contact photo, taking down the previous one from her pointing at a bunch of papers on a desk in her father’s office. It was the last picture she had sent you after that exercising one and you catch yourself going through them and chuckling as you swipe to the side, reaching the newest picture.

 _She’s too cute_.

You put your phone aside again and get back to your episode or well...you _try_ to get back to it.

-

On Wednesday afternoon you go to your favorite bakery, _Aunt Annie’s Bakery._ You came here before work to grab some goodies. It’s been awhile since you get your favorite chocolate chip cookies from here so you get two to go and sit down on one of the small round tables staring down at your cheesecake.

Laura was the one who had told you to try the cheesecake out a while back and you did and they’re actually pretty good so you found yourself buying one. You’re not really eating it much though, more like picking at it after every bite. The bakery has a few customers coming and going and there’s a family on a table towards the window that have this cute little kid who’s devouring his chocolate cake. His face is all covered in chocolate and you catch yourself smiling at him because he seems to remind you of someone.

That’s when you hear the chimes on the glass door and see a couple of people walk in wearing work attire. Your eyes widen when you see her talking to some tall blonde you think you saw at the party the other day. You’re frozen in place too surprised to know what to do when Laura laughs and looks your way, noticing you. Her eyes widen and she stops laughing but starts smiling widely. You smirk and wiggle your fingers in a simple wave. She says something to the blonde and walks your way. She sits down in front of you in your table and you raise an eyebrow as your smirk grows.

“Funny running into _you_ here.” she says with a smile.

“You know I have a thing for sweets, _cupcake_.”

She giggles and you smile wider but then try and compose yourself.

“So, what brings you into this small bakery in town? Let me guess-” you point with your fork at the cheesecake you’re currently eating. “-it’s their cheesecake.”

She giggles again and nods.

“Yeah, we’ve been working a lot the past few days so some of my coworkers and I decided to go get some well deserved sweets.”

“Lucky me then.” you smirk again.

“Yeah...I didn’t know I’d get more than some sweets out of this visit.”

“And what makes you think you’re getting anything other than sweets?”

She leans forward with a smug face and starts acting all nonchalant as she looks around.

“ _Ohhh I don’t knoow._..I wonder what kind of yummy things I could _possibly_ be able to get to taste in this specific spot at this _very specific_ table..”

“Oh, I have all kinds of thoughts about that.”

You lean forward as you speak and so does Laura but she ends up snatching your fork from your hand and taking a bite of your cheesecake.

“Yeah, me too.” she returns to her previous smug face as she chews.

You squint your eyes at her and purse your lips as she giggles taking another bite.

“Hey Laura, you want some hot cocoa to go with your cookies too?”

You both look towards the counter.

“Yeah! Thanks Betts!”

She smiles at her friend and turns to you again.

“Cookies huh?”

“Chocolate chip cookies to be exact.”

Your smile widens knowing that she probably got into those cookies because of you. She takes another bite before handing you your fork back and leaning her elbows on the table.

“So.” she pauses and you can tell she’s trying to get cheesecake out of her teeth by the way tongue moves over them. “hows _your_ day been?”

You shrug and take a bite of your cheesecake not looking at Laura.

“Eh, not so eventful. I have to get to work in an hour.”

“Oh right you work in the afternoons.”

“I do enjoy sleeping in.”

“ _I know_.” she smiles and tucks some hair behind her ear.

“What about you. how has _your_ day been?”

She sighs and leans back in her chair.

“Well, other than work work and, you know _work_ , I haven’t really had time for anything else.”

“I know you’re kind of a workaholic but haven’t you been working your ass off more than usual? You need to take it easy, cutie.”

“I’m not a workaholic, my _dad_ is and if I don’t help him out he’ll never leave his stinking office.” she shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“Well tell him to give you a break. Spend some time with a very attractive girl instead.”

She glances up at you and shyly smiles and blushes. The corner of your mouth twitches up into a half smile and you look down at her lips. She does the same and chews on her lip.

“Laura, orders out! We’re leaving!”

Laura turns around and answers her friend.

“Okay, give me a minute!” she faces you again and stares at your lips then up at your eyes. “I can’t tonight...I actually have a thing with my dad.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah, we haven’t really spent any time together in...well...a long time so I’m kind of really excited for this.”

“Well then enjoy your daddy’s little girl time. Don’t worry about little ol’ me, I can find my own fun.”

She scrunches up her face and twists her lips to the side before leaning on the table again.

“I really do want to...uh..you know…”

Your smirk comes back as you stare at her and she chews on her lip again.

“Well, you can call me whenever you want.”

“Lauraaa.”

Laura glances back behind her but quickly comes back to staring at you.

“I gotta go to work...it was nice seeing you.”

“It’s always nice seeing _you_.”

Laura chuckles with a big grin and goes around the table towards you. She leans down for a kiss but stops right in front of your lips. Your eyes look down at them almost touching and then up at Laura’s heavy eyes. Laura’s lips grow into a small smug smile and she leans forward kissing you hungrily, her tongue brushing against your lip. She quickly pulls away and turns around to leave and you’re left wanting more.

_This girl, man. I swear._

You see Laura talking to her co workers and a small giggle between them as they push through the glass door to leave. Laura steps outside and looks back at you through the glass door as it closes, the chimes making noise when it’s finally shut. She smiles again and then keeps walking with everyone.

_Ugh! This woman!_

-

You’re done helping Betty out with some stuff at the front desk and head up to your dad office once it’s 9pm. You’re beaming at the thought of going to the movies with him after so long and you’re actually kind of anxious.

That quickly goes away when you open the door and see your dad on one of his skype calls with a bunch of paper work on his desk.

“Yes. The shipment shouldn’t take so long to get there. We have to talk to--Laura! Hey Snookums! Can you give me a minute while I finish up with this call?”

You simply nod and awkwardly sit in the chair in front of his desk.

“-Yes Mr. Kiyoko I did receive your email and we made an appointment for that issue tomorrow morning. For now I have some other issues to handle so we’ll continue this call later. Bye.”

Your dad ends the skype call and sighs, melting back into his chair.

“Man, this has been one hell of a week.”

“Totally agree with you there dad.”

It’s quiet between you too and he just keeps looking through his papers in his desk so you start getting uneasy and just go for it.

“Dad.”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“The movie starts in twenty minutes.”

“The movie...oh right that was today..” he passes a hand through his hair looking upset and you brace yourself for what’s about to come. “ Listen snookums, we’re gonna have to move that to some other time. I still have so much stuff to do and Mr. Kiyoko wants a shipping plan for tomorrow morning that I-”

“It’s fine. I get it.”

You knew this was too good to be true. How could you let yourself get so pumped up for this? How could you think things would ever change? That your dad would change? You feel like such an idiot.

“Laura I’m sorr-”

“It’s fine!”

You shoot up and out your chair and storm out of his office, slamming the door as you leave.

He always does this.

He always cancels last minute.

It makes you so fucking angry.

You storm out of the building not even saying goodbye to Betty at the desk and just walk aimlessly around the city for a couple of hours. You just really need to be alone right now.

Then you realize it's already almost 2am and you've been walking around all night. You think about calling LaF but they're probably asleep by now and the last thing you want to do is bother them and Perry. But then on the other hand you really don't wanna go home right now. Not when your dad is probably there. You sigh and start walking again not really going anywhere specifically.

You just really need a friend right now.

-

You were just laying in bed when you heard your phone vibrate. You stare confused at it considering it’s so late and grab it to check who’s texting you at this hour thinking it must be important.

Laura(2:09am): u up?

Carmilla(2:11am): well I am now.

Laura(2:11am): buzz me in.

You get up from your bed and furrow your brow confused but go to press the buzzer anyway. You clear your throat before going to open the door half asleep in a black rock t shirt.

“Hey…” she says.

“Hey.”

You stare at her still wondering what’s up because Laura isn’t acting like her usual upbeat self. You grab her hand and tug her inside, closing the door before carefully stepping closer to her as you analyze her body language. You cup her face with one hand giving her one long kiss not letting go of her hand. You stop kissing her and look at Laura who’s eyes are still closed. You brush some of her hair away worriedly.

“Not that I’m complaining or anything but why are you here? Didn’t you have something with your dad?”

Laura’s body melts and her face turns sad. You furrow your brow more as you stare at her. You brush over her cheek with your knuckles.

“Hey don’t get all depressed on me.”

Laura looks up at you and sees you have sleepy eyes, her face turning apologetic.

“Wait did I wake you up? I’m so sorry oh my gosh.”

“It’s fine cupcake. Besides...I told you you could call whenever you wanted.”

“Well yeah but..I thought you meant that specifically for...you know.”

“Well, I did but...that’s not an issue.”

Laura smiles sadly and leans forward giving you a soft kiss before resting her head on the crook of your neck and sighing.

“Can we just...sleep tonight? If it’s a bother or whatever I can totally just go.”

You gently tug her back to your room not answering and she slides her shoes and coat off before following you to bed. You get under the covers and so does Laura, laying down next to you. You're facing each other laying sideways in silence for a while and Laura’s eyes keeps looking sad.

“I’m sorry I dropped by like this. I know it’s not really your thing-well...our thing.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind the company. Especially if by company i mean _a cute girl in my bed at night_.”

Laura giggles and her eyes are a little less sad. It fades to quiet again and you move your hand to gently stroke her hair. Her eyes close and she snuggles into the pillow next to you. You look down at her lips as you move your hand away from her hair.

What happened to her?

You’re not one to pry so whatever but...she's never been like this.

You keep staring at her trying to understand her mood and you can hear Laura’s steady breathing in the silence that covers the room. You lean forward, pressing your forehead against hers and sliding a hand under the sheets between the two of you. Laura snuggles closer pressing her own forehead closer to yours, her hand brushes against your own so after a hesitant moment you gently take it in yours.

It’s quiet for a while but neither of you are asleep, even though both of you have shut your eyes.

You’ve been gently rubbing your thumb over Laura’s hand since you linked them trying to sooth her in whatever way you can.

“I promise we can make out all you want later.”

“ _Thank God_." you say and you can feel her smile.

You open your eyes to see she really did smile and now you’re stuck staring down at her lips. You take a moment to decide rather it was right or wrong to kiss her right now so you go for nudging her nose with yours slightly and her smile shrinks but her face looks relaxed and comfortable so you close the small space between you. It’s a tender kiss that she didn’t hesitate returning back and once you pull away she sighs softly. Her eyes still closed and your hands still linked. You rest your head back in your own pillow and intertwine your fingers with hers. You blink slowly as you take in the girl beside you.

“Sweet dreams, creampuff.”

She grins with her eyes closed.

“Goodnight Carm.”

 

 


	9. French Fries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura start to be more open and be there for each other, but they're not the only ones here now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is hella long and I haven't slept so I could finally finish it so ENJOY. sorry if there's typos and shit. I'm barely awake right now.
> 
> Also I didn't put all the italics in this one cus i have to go one by one and i'm sleepy i'll do it some other day. i hope u guys like this one!
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)

You groan and stuff your face further into your pillow when the sound of a ringing phone wakes you up. You were having such a nice sleep and you really don’t appreciate whatever it is that interrupted it, but then you feel someone move beside you in your bed and you remember that Laura ended up staying over again. The last time she was actually here was almost a week ago when she made you watch that clone show.

Which was fine, she was obviously tired and had fallen asleep on you so her staying over wasn’t really a bother or anything, but this time it was different. This time she didn’t accidentally fall asleep, this time she actually came over, and this time...well…

it wasn’t a bother either.

Which is totally weird for you. It’s just not normal, it’s not your protocal and it’s not what you usually want with anyone. You never let people stay over and yet here she is.

This tiny little gay ball of sunshine has somehow managed to stay over at your place three record times so far. Not to mention that you even stayed over at hers one night. But the strange thing is that...you kind of like it?

Okay so maybe not “like it”, it’s probably something more like “don’t mind it as much” but it’s still something that’s completely new to you. Maybe Kirsch was right in saying she was somehow different. Maybe you actually appreciate her company more than you first thought.

Or maybe you’re just overthinking stupid things while you try and ignore that stupid ringing that still hasn’t stopped.

“Ughhh.”

You feel Laura move in bed again and hear her grab something, finally stopping the damn ringing and slamming her phone back down on the nightstand.

“Finally.” you mumble and she hums back agreeing. “What was that about anyway?” you ask.

She groans and you open your eyes to see she has her back to you.

“It’s a stupid alarm I forgot about. Just ignore it.”

“What did you have an alarm so early for?”

“Work.”

“You’re not going?”

She turns around and gets comfortable in your bed while facing you, her eyes still closed.

“I don’t really feel like going.”

“Why’s that?”

She doesn’t answer and you remember what she looked like last night when she came over. She was clearly upset about something with her dad and she works with him so you figured it’s-

“Your dad, right?”

She finally opens her eyes and stares at you before sighing and closing them again.

“Yeah...Can we just go back to sleeping like before?”

“Fine by me. I wouldn’t get up at this ungodly hour for anyone.”

She huffs out a chuckle and opens her eyes, looking at you again.

“You don’t even know what time it is.”

“It’s time for me to get back to sleep, that’s what.”

She chuckles again and closes her eyes going back to sleep and after staring at her for a few minutes you do the same.

Why are you so okay with her sleeping here?

-

A few hours later another ringing wakes you up again. This time it’s a ringtone that sounds like a grizzly bear roaring. It scarred the shit out of you at first making you sit up in bed, but from Laura’s reaction groaning and reaching for her phone again you caught on to reality. She looks at her phone for a while and denies a call, snuggling back to bed with an angry look on her face.

“A bear, really??”

She scoffs and smiles. “sorryyy.”

“That’s twice already that you wake me up. I might just have to get you back for it.”

“Pffft yeah right.”

You raise an eyebrow and grab your pillow, smacking it against her face.

“Hey!”

“Told you.”

She flips around and shoves the pillow in your chest with pursed lips.

“Not nice.”

“Who ever said I was nice?” you taunt her and she sits up grabbing the other pillow and smacking you across the face with it, earning an ‘Oof!’ from you as you let the impact drop you back to laying down. “Ugh, I surrender. I just want to keep sleeping. Please, no more.”

She giggles and places her pillow back to it’s original place, laying down next to you.

“Well since you begged…”

You roll your eyes and smirk at her while shaking your head.

“you dork.”

She smiles at you and shrugs closing her eyes again.

“Can’t fight you on that one.”

Your smirk grows as you start smiling at this tiny goofball that you somehow find so attractive. Then your eyes start trailing down her neck to her now very clear cleavage from her shirt dripping over and you couldn’t hold down your eyebrows as they raised.

Yeah, very attractive.

You lean forward and knowing how she gets with the whole “morning breath” thing you don’t go for her lips, instead dragging yours up her jaw and back down near her ear. You comb her hair back as you slowly kiss her neck earning a pleased hum from her. Her hand loosely wrapping around your waist as she nuzzled closer to you. You part from her neck and see a new mark forming on it making you smirk before laying back down beside her. Your hand trails down her arm that’s wrapped around your waist and stops when it reaches her own.

“Go back to sleep, cupcake.”

You stare at her and see a smile growing on her lips when that damn roaring bear ringtone comes back up and startles you making you flinch. Laura’s smile quickly fades and you huff out some air through your nose annoyed. She grabs her phone again and stares at it. “Pops” coming up on the screen along with a picture of her dad stuffing his face with pancakes. You see Laura’s face and know she’s getting upset again so you take her phone and mute the call.

“You don’t have to pick it up if you don’t feel like it.” you say handing it back to her as the picture continues to light up on the screen.

She gives you a tight smile and swipes on her phone denying the call again. She stares at the time at the top and sighs.

“I should leave.”

“Or you can stay and sleep some more.”

She laughs and looks at you.

“I can’t just stay sleeping in all day.”

You grumble as you snuggle closer to her and rest your head near her chest.

“Yes you can.”

Laura giggles and you look up at her face that’s so close to your own. Your eyes pause at her lips but you lean up, kissing her forehead instead and nuzzling your face in her sweet coconut smelling hair.

mmmm okay so you may have missed that more than you’ll ever admit.

Then you feel her hand brushing up your lower back and okay, that feels really nice. Maybe it’s because you haven’t been able to be this close to her in a while or something but you really want her to keep touching you like that. You kind of..maybe..really want her to stay this close.

The you feel her head move away from you, her coconut smelling hair now gone, so you look down to find her with a small smile. She leans forward and gives you a kiss on the cheek that may have caused your face to heat up strangely. You move your hand up and caress her cheek moving up to gently brush her hair and then down to rub down her back. Laura hums enjoyingly and a smile escapes your lips.

“mmmm...why are you being like this?” she ask, her eyes now shut as you continue rubbing up and down her back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Laura looks up at you suspiciously and leans forward giving you a slow peck that ends up turning into making out.

Which is really surprising considering how she was so picky with the whole morning breath thing before. You’ve never really minded it or at least given it that much thought. Then again you’ve never let anyone stay over before for a “morning breath” situation to happen.

Still, you really don’t mind.

Then the roaring ringtone comes back and Laura groans annoyed into your mouth.

“I have to go. I have a meeting today.”

She starts moving away from you but you follow her and keep giving her kisses on her lips that seem to slow her down enough for you to start sliding on top of her. Your knee accidentally brushes against her center while you were trying to move and Laura takes in a sharp breath.

Accidentally frisky or not, you’ve really been craving this for a while now. Sure it’s been almost a week since you and Laura got sexual but it feels like way longer than that.

What is going on with you Karnstein? Why do you feel like you want this girl so badly?

You start slowly making out again and you’ve really wanted those soft lips against your own so badly that it feels very satisfying.

Okay, you may not be into kissing the girls you usually sleep with but seriously, kissing Laura is starting to become something blissful for you.

Maybe it’s just because you haven’t gotten to do it so much in a while.

Yeah, that’s probably it.

Ugh, no, you’ve got to stop overthinking everything Karnstein.

Still, feeling her hands brushing up your sides like that is certainly keeping your mind on other things. Other things like slowly grinding down into Laura making her take in a deep breath while never detaching her lips from yours. Laura’s hands scratch down your back when you start grinding down again.

Until the roaring bear starts up again and Laura immediately stops kissing you.

“Seriously dad?! Ugh!”

You smirk and playfully raise an eyebrow at her.

“Can’t you make some time for..‘sexual activities’?” you tease her knowing she’s obviously pissed at the new interruption. You lean down and put your lips against her ear as you slowly grind down again. “a few minutes at least?” you whisper into her ear before leaning back up and biting your lip as you look down at her.

“Ughhh, but I still have to go home and change and show-” she pauses and looks away thinking, a smirk growing on her face. “..Come on, let’s multitask.”

You raise an eyebrow and she giggles biting her lip before pushing you off of her and standing up. You give her a curious look as she walks into your bathroom, stopping at the door. She looks back at you and slowly lifts up her shirt taking it off and obviously teasing you.

“You coming?”

-

You enter the bathroom and leave your shirt on the floor along with your pants as you go to turn on the shower. You turn around once you hear the water running and see Carmilla standing by the door looking at you. You smile smugly and unstrap your bra, turning your back on her before dropping it and looking back at Carmilla.

“You just gonna stand there?”

She raises her eyebrows when you slide down your underwear and her usual smirk forms across her lips. She starts taking off her shirt and pants as you step into the shower and stick out your head behind the curtain. You giggle watching her undress and getting in the shower behind you. You extend your hand under the water to see if it’s cold and then step under it, letting your hair get wet and turning around to face Carmilla. You wipe the water out of your face to see and find Carmilla gawking at you making you smile smugly again and blushing. You take some water in your mouth and spit it like a fountain towards her with a giggle.

“You do know how to shower right?” you tease and she scoffs stepping closer to you and under the water. She brushes her wet hair back and stares at you with these intense eyes that she usually gives you.

God you love it when she does that.

She leans in to kiss you and you turn around facing the water instead. Teasing Carmilla is just way too easy. You grab her bar of soap and start soaping down your arms and chest. You were starting to put soap on your stomach when you feel arms wrap around you, her hands rubbing up and down your soapy stomach. She steps closer, making you feel her body up against yours behind you, her wet breast brushing up against your back.

Maaaan that feels nice.

You bite your lip when her hands start roaming around your body, brushing so close to your breast then back down your stomach to your thighs and then up your hips. You feel one of Carmilla’s hands move away from your body and brush your wet hair to one side. Her hand rubbing down your back as she hovers over your neck before kissing it. She starts sucking at your neck making you moan quietly, her hand going from your back to your ass while the other one leaves it’s place in your hip and slides up, brushing against your breast before squeezing. You tilt your head back in pleasure letting Carmilla take more of your skin to suck at. Her hand leaves your ass and slides up your side to your other breast as she steps closer behind you, pressing her body against yours. You feel her previous hand start rubbing down your stomach so slowly, making it’s way to where you’re aching the most. Carmilla stops sucking your neck and starts trailing open mouthed kissed up until she reaches your ear.

“I like this.”

“like what?” you ask back teasingly.

“Showering.”

“Showering?”

“Among other things.”

She tugs at your earlobe with her teeth as her hand finally slides lower, brushing over your center.

“O--kay.” you let out shakily and hear her chuckle against your ear. You tilt your head towards her and kiss her longingly before tugging at her bottom lip. Her hand stills hovering over where you want it the most and you smile biting your lip as you grab her hand and guide it, gasping once it finally touches you. Carmilla’s just staring at you with lust filled eyes that seem lost in something, her hand still not moving on it’s own. So you start moving it for her with your own, her fingers brushing over your folds as you bite your lip with pleasure. The sight of it makes Carmilla lick her own and part. You push her hand deeper and it slides between your now very wet folds, making you take in a breath. Your eyes search her face as you continue moving her hand, your mouth opening and shutting each time you moved her hand back up until finally she moves it on her own making your breath hitch. Her fingers sliding up and down your folds as she starts kissing your neck again. Her lips moving their way up to your own as you let out small moans. She kisses you softly before deepening the kiss, at the same time that she slides a finger inside of you making you moan into her mouth. Her kisses start getting more and more passionate occasionally biting your lip teasingly. Her finger starts speeding up as she thrust another one into you making you moan again. You start moving your hips to match her fingers while at the same time grinding against her core as she stands behind you. She starts humming and moaning into your mouth softly while pumping her fingers faster. Her other hand holding you steady, grabbing at your breast and playing with your nipple making you feel pleasure in a bunch of different places all at once. Your free hand goes to your other breast with the other one tries reaching behind you to touch Carmilla. The her pumping picks up again and you moan, your knees going weak for a second almost making you slip in the shower. Carmilla quickly holds you steady wrapping an arm around you while continuing to pump into you. Your free hand stops searching for Carmilla behind you and holds the wall instead to help keep you balanced. Carmilla’s fingers stop pumping and instead slide slowly up your folds making your whole body shiver. They reach your clit and start rubbing small slow circles.

Achingly slow circles.

You moan and stop kissing her as you try and stay under control but the pleasure is too much once she starts rubbing circles faster and sliding down and back up your folds making you throb.

“Oh fuck. Carm that’s--Oh.”

You’re panting and she surprises you by going back to thrusting fingers into you making you moan weakly. Her thumb brushing against your clit every few thrusts and you lose it. Your legs going weak and your head shooting back in pleasure. You would have probably slipped again and fell back if it wasn’t for Carmilla’s body behind yours. She slows down her fingers and switches to slowly rubbing up and down your folds while you finish riding out your orgasm. Carmilla giggles at you when you finally open your eyes to stare at her.

“Don’t slip again.” she giggles again and you glare at her.

“Hmph! Let’s see how hard it is for you to stay still.”

You turn around now facing her and grab her hand that was previously inside of you. You stare her dead in the eye and suck all your juices from her fingers with a pop once you’re done along with a smile.

“My turn.”

You rest your hands on her sides as you start kneeling down, your hands following you down her body the lower you go. You look up at her the whole way down and glance forward to where you’re about to focus on. You look back up and lick you lips before biting your bottom one with a lustful look. Your hands make their way down her outer thigh before switching to her inner thighs. You lift her left leg over your shoulder and drag your lips down her inner thigh, not once looking away from her eyes. You start kissing and biting as you continue making yourself closer and closer to your goal, moaning playfully once you’re practically hovering over it. You bite your lip one more time before lightly sticking your tongue out and passing it up her folds. She whimpers and you smile knowing you’re just getting started. You do the same but push your tongue deeper into her licking up her folds and giggling when she moans weakly.

“so wet already?” you tease.

“shut up.”

You giggle again and hover over her center looking up at her.

“that can be arranged.”

You start sucking and moving your head in a rhythmic motion, Carmilla’s legs go weak for a moment making her hold on to your shoulder, her other hand against the wall. You keep moving your tongue slowly as your head movements make your nose rub against her clit.

People don’t know the power of the big noses. Totally underrated.

“Ah, oh fuck.” you hear her above and smile against her lower lips.

yup, big noses are great.

Your hands start start wandering up her thighs and scratch their way to her hips where you tug her closer to you. She starts breathing uneven while letting small moans escape her lips. You hold her steady as you start picking up your pace with your head movement. Her hips moving forward and deeper into your face as you start focussing on her clit now. You make small circles with your tongue but keep them quick as her moans start getting closer to each other, her nails digging into your shoulder. You feel her body almost give above you as you slowly lick up and down her folds one last time before going back to her clit.

“Oh god. That’s--I’m-”

She shivers as she orgasms and the fact that she almost slips makes you feel so accomplished. You held her up against you of course and once she comes down from her high you give her a smug smile and stick your tongue out teasingly.

“So much for not slipping.”

She’s panting as she smiles and rolls her eyes. You stand up trailing kisses up her stomach, smiling at her like a winner as she combs your wet hair back.

“You’re such a dork you know that?”

You giggle and give her a slow peck on the lips before turning around and continuing to shower.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say innocently as you start rubbing some soap around your body.

She scoffs and turns you around pressing your body against hers and kissing you softly. You step back and look at her chest now covered in soap and laugh as you start washing it off of her while rubbing up and down her body. She raises and eyebrow and smiles grabbing your soapy hands and guiding them around her body, washing her.

“Who knew you could be so helpful?”

You squint your eyes at her and purse your lips trying to be annoyed.

“Whatever.”

-

After you finish showering you put on yesterday’s work clothes and walk out of the room towards your shoes and coat by the door. Carmilla follows behind in only her underwear and a t-shirt while drying her hair with a towel. You finish putting on your shoes and comb your hair back with your fingers as you look at Carmilla. You smile at her and grab your coat sliding it on.

“Thanks for everything Carm.”

She smiles still drying her hair and steps closer to you.

“No, _thank you_ , sweetheart.”

You giggle and step closer pulling her by her shirt and giving her a quick kiss.

“Seriously though, I’m sorry I dropped in like that last night. Thanks for not kicking me out and all.”

She scoffs and takes a strand of wet hair away from your face.

“It’s fine, I really don’t mind.”

You grin and peck her lips before grabbing the door and petting her hair.

“Go back to sleep you big cat.”

She squints at you but smiles.

“Hey, good luck with your whole dad thing.”

You sigh and shrug.

“Yeah…See you later.”

See you later? Really? Why would you say that? It’s not like you haven’t just spent hours with her at her place sleeping and...well...other things.

“Text me later, yeah?”

Well that’s kind of surprising.

You smile and nod closing the door behind you and walking out of the building. You really don’t feel like seeing your dad today or even working for that matter but you can’t just leave him to take up all your work because you’re mad at him. Then again it was totally his fault, HE screwed up, he deserves it.

You sigh as you hail a cab.

You’re not that type of girl though, there’s no way you’d just leave your work unattended like that. Plus missing meetings isn’t going to help anyone. God you hate long meetings.

-

Once Laura left and you saw her get in a cab you sighed and walked up to your fridge, grabbing some soy milk and drinking it from the carton. It’s not like Will is here to mind so what the heck, you do what you want. You put the milk back and walk back to your room throwing yourself on the bed with a long pleased sigh.

Maybe having a girl stay over isn’t all that bad sometimes. You think it has it’s pros and the only con so far is being woken up earlier than usual but it’s still nice. Being able to have some company in the night and in the morning isn’t all that bad.

Maybe it’s okay to have Laura over.

You did tell her that it was fine more than once anyway.

You close your eyes and get comfortable as you lay alone in bed now. That’s when you realize your bed still smells a little bit like Laura’s shampoo and the realization makes a smile form on your face.

Yeah Laura staying over isn’t that bad.

You might actually kind of like it...having her around is...nice, but then again you’re probably thinking that because you haven’t had the chance to have some privacy with her in a while which okay, you can admit that you really enjoy.

And boy did you really enjoy it today. How is she so good at that anyway? Eating ice cream like she said the first time she did it? Does that really help? Damn who cares as long as it keeps happening.

You smile into the pillow, listening to the quiet apartment, the only sound you notice being the cars starting to drive by like they do every time Laura leaves in the mornings. You take a deep breath taking in Laura’s smell again unintentionally, the corner of your lips twitching up as you realize it’s presence again.

Yeah, Laura’s okay.

Maybe later you can spend some more time with her...You know, since you’ve barely seen her this week and all.

Yeah….that’s totally fine right? Just to have some more fun?

A few hours later you keep looking at your phone while at work waiting.

-

Once you got to the office you took off your coat and rolled up your button down shirt’s sleeves thinking no one will notice it’s the same one as yesterday if it looks a little different. By the look that Betty gave you when you walked in you know it obviously didn’t work, plus your hair's still damp and you’re obviously late today. Thankfully Betty doesn’t say anything about it only giving you a “I don’t know anything” type of shrug and handing you some folders for the meeting that you’re barely on time for.

You took the elevator and went straight for the meeting room, trying not to think about your dad probably being in the same building as you and once you barge into the meeting room and see him sitting across from your empty chair everyone goes quiet. You give a tight smile and close the door behind you, walking past your empty chair and asking the person to chair’s down if they would switch with you. They agree and stand giving you their chair.

You try not to look at your dad throughout the whole first meeting.

A few meetings and a lunch break later you enter the meeting room again for the final meeting you said you’d attend. Once it starts you’re already bored. Prices and mathematics aren’t exactly your favorite subject or main focus so you just listen in to the conversation every now and then. You take out your phone to look at the time and remember what Carmilla said this morning.

    _“Text me later, yeah?”_

You’re currently bored at a meeting and probably not paying as much attention as you should anyway so maybe you should just text her right now.

What if she takes it the wrong way though? I mean it’s only been a few hours and you don’t want to sound desperate cause I mean, you’re obviously not. You’re just bored and she offered so why not right?

You open her texting stream and read some old conversations you had with her. Giggling out loud when you read her “imagine them all in thongs.” message.

“Miss Hollis?”

You panic and quickly straighten up hiding your phone in your lap.

“Yes?”

“Are you busy with your phone or am I boring you?”

“What? No! Of-of course not! I was just checking my schedule for the rest of the day. You can keep going.”

The tall woman glares at you but turns and continues talking.

Well that was smooth Hollis. Get your head in the game...or well...meeting.

The meeting is finally over at 5pm so you decide to shoot a quick text to Carmilla like you agreed you would.

Laura(5:02pm): so work didn’t go so bad! if you don’t count all the looks i kept getting from your MARK ON MY NECK and SCRATCHES on my SHOULDER.

Laura(5:02pm): a warning would have been nice u know.

You wait for a few seconds to see if she replies fast but put your phone away when you hear your dad’s voice down the hall. You see him coming up on the turn and share awkward eye contact.

Crap, so much for that.

“Laura!”

You clench your jaw and turn to walk in the opposite direction, getting in the elevator and tapping on the button to close the doors. You heard his foot steps getting closer but luckily he didn’t make it in time.

Like always.

You comb your hair back with your hand and let out a frustrated grunt.

This is just great. All you need now is for him to just decide to not work late today and come home early. That wont be awkward at all. Pff.

The doors open and you quickly storm out of the elevator walking to the lobby where you leave some folders for Betty and step outside. You sigh deeply and take out your phone again to see if you got any new messages, but there’s nothing.

Ughhh.“Text me later” she said. Yeah sure, so much for that.

You hail a cab and go home. You’re grateful that your dad doesn’t seem to be coming after you but then again...you’re kind of sad too. You listen to the quiet of your house feeling how empty it is before going up the stairs to your room. You finally change into comfortable clothes (meaning some boxers and a big t shirt) and lay on your bed with your laptop scrolling on tumblr for a few hours till your phone finally vibrates.

Carmilla(7:01pm): sorry, i was working. and lol u could have just looked in a mirror before leaving. ;)

“Really? NOW you text me?”

You take the last gulp of your grape soda and slam it down on your nightstand.

“Well too bad!”

You don’t text her back and go back to scrolling on tumblr and reblogging gifs of Peggy Carter. After a while your phone vibrates again.

Carmilla(7:18pm): r u busy right now? i haven’t eaten anything yet.

Laura(7:19pm): Sorry. I’m off the menu.

Carmilla(7:19pm): i meant actual food, but w.e u want cutie.

You furrow your brow confused.

“Is this like a date?”

You scratch your forehead confused and try and analyze this whole thing.

Carmilla obviously doesn’t date so it can’t be a date, also she did tell you to text her earlier so maybe she had this in mind already? No that can’t be it, this is probably just like a hang out or something or maybe she has something to tell you. Oh god what could she have to tell you that she wants to go on a date for? NO NO HOLLIS not a date, a...a…”thing”. Yeah a thing that’s it. So why does she want you to go eat with her? Well...maybe she needs someone to talk to and sure you kind of owe her for being there for you last night so this is probably something like that. Evening things out right? Yeah totally. Not that you wouldn’t want it to be a date cause I mean yeah it’s Carmilla and she’s really hot and you actually get along with her pretty well and her company is actually really nice...but that’s not the case! No dates! No problem! Just food and talking! Yeah...yeah that’s fine.

You start typing on your phone.

Laura(7:23pm): okay, what did u have in mind?

-

After showering and getting dressed, you took a cab to wherever the hell it is Carmilla told you to met her and after walking around a little you found the place she said. You push the glass door and walk inside looking around. It’s a small place, kind of like a diner but a bar at the same time. It doesn’t look like anything special but you can kinda see how Carmilla would fit in here.

Then you hear the bell on the door chime and a familiar sounding pair of boots so you turn your head to find Carmilla looking at her phone. She almost bumps into you and raises her eyes now seeing that it’s you. A crooked smile shows up across her face.

“Hey you’re here.” She grabs her stomach and does an uncomfortable face. “Ugh, I’m starving.”

“Yeah I could use some food too. Where do you wanna sit?”

She steps in front of you and waves for you to follow. She leads you to one of the small booths and slides in, grabbing a menu that’s in between the condiments. You slide in the other side of the booth and look around again. This place looks kinda old and a little sketchy but the music is great so that’s cool.

“What do you wanna order?”

You look back at Carmilla who’s staring at you with a questionable look.

“I don’t know. I’ve never really been here before.”

“Oh.” she scoots forward and turns the menu towards you as she points at a few things. “Well most of the food here is great but they have these killer sandwiches aaaand some really juicy steak and blood sausage...oh! And everyone seems to be obsessed with the house’s burger so there’s that too.”

You stare at her while she talks and you’re really surprised to see her speak about something with all that enthusiasm. You’ve never really heard her be so excited. You smile to yourself.

It’s kind of cute.

“Well? What are you going to have, cupcake?”

She stares up from the menu and at you making you clear your throat and scooting forward to look at the menu yourself.

“Hmmmmm I think I’ll go with the burger. Must be good if it’s such a crowd pleaser, right?”

She tilts her head, innocently doing circles with her index finger as she looks at the menu.

“Well...I suppose it’s good…”

You squint your eyes at her.

“Suppose?”

“mhhm.”

“Well what are you getting then?”

She smirks. “mmm I’m feeling like steak.”

“And I’m feeling like burger. So deal with it.”

She squints her eyes at you. “Fine, you’re the one who’ll miss out.”

“Who says I’ll miss out?”

She raises and eyebrow and opens her mouth to talk when a waiter comes by.

“Hey ladies! How’s it goin’?”

“Kirsch?” you look up surprised.

“I thought you said you didn’t work Thursday nights.” she says accusingly.

“Well yeah but I took an extra shift so--whatever.” he replies accusingly.

Carmilla glares at him and shoves the menu in his chest. “The usual.”

“Some extremely nasty bloody steak, coming your way.” he says with a mischievous smirk as he writes it down on his little notebook. “what about you little hottie?--I mean...Laura.”

“I’m going with the burger that Carmilla seems to hate.”

“House speciaaaal, niiiice.” He leans over and points at Carmilla with his thumb. ”That dumbbutt over there is just jealous because you get an extra side of fries and she doesn’t.”

“Just go and get us our damn food, beefcake.”

“Right away madam Lazy-farts.” he bows dramatically and Carmilla annoyedly lifts up the bottle of ketchup and fakes throwing it at him making him flinch.

You laugh to yourself while staring at these two goofballs. You never thought Carmilla of all people would be bros with Kirsch. It’s nice and funny and kind of refreshing. Also surprising. Wow, second time tonight, this is getting interesting.

She looks away from Kirsch and annoyedly stares back at you catching you laughing.

“What?” she snaps at you.

“Nothing.” you try and stifle your laughter. She aggressively places the bottle of ketchup back in it’s place and stiffens crossing her arms. You try and bite your smile before speaking lowly. “-Lazy farts.”

She glares at you and you start laughing again. She just looks away, crossing her arms tighter together and frowning and okay, maybe this dinner date thing isn’t as bad as you would have thought.

No, not date. Just a thing.

A nice thing.

“So, Lazy farts, how’s your day been?”

She sighs. “First of all, please don’t call me that. And second of all-” she uncrosses her arms and rests them on the table. “-horrible. Some idiot screwed up on the cables so I had to rearrange them all myself. Then I had to do my usual shift, which was excruciatingly painful today with that interview on some crazy cat lady who just had to bring some of her “babies” to the set. Do you know what they did? Those stupid cats chewed on some of the cables so I ended up changing some of them AGAIN.” she sighs again and rubs her forehead. “All in all it was fine I guess.”

“Wow. That sounds like it really sucked.”

“It did.” she stops rubbing her forehead and rest her arm on the table again while looking at you now. “What about you, sundance? Any luck with your dad at the office?”

You bunch up your face as if disgusted with the whole thought and shrug.

“Not really.” you pause and see that she’s staring at you attentively.

Wait...does she want to hear about it? Well okay...why not I guess.

“I somehow made it to the first meeting just in time, which was really awkward since dad was there and all. Then I spent the rest of the day avoiding him in the halls and going to other meetings. I was bored out of my mind the whole day with all those numbers and ratings and what not. Adults have to learn how to not make a presentation so boring, like seriously. It was terrible.”

She scoffs and brushes her bangs out of her face before resting her cheek in her hand.

“You know you could have texted me whenever you wanted if you were so bored.”

“What for? So you could text me back hours later?” you say a bit annoyed.

Carmilla furrows her brow at your statement.

“Wait...are you mad?”

you scoff. “no.”

She moves her hand away from her cheek and looks at you surprised.

“you so are.”

“I am not.” you cross your arms in front of your chest obviously failing at not being annoyed.

She smiles at you. “Sweetheart, you can text me whenever you want.”

“Whatever. Don’t worry about it.”

“I was busy when you texted me, you know dealing with evil cats all over the set and all.” she leans forward and pushes your shoulder. “Don’t be mad.”

You bunch up your face still a bit annoyed but more in a playful way.

“Well you can stay mad if it’s like that.” she smiles. “That bunched up little face you make when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.”

You try and keep your bunched up face but a smile is threatening to break it. Plus with Carmilla smirking at you like she’s won isn’t making it any easier.

“Sooooome steaky steak for youuuu and soooome super awesome burger for youuuu.”

Kirsch suddenly interrupts your staring and places your meals on the table with a nod and big smile.

“Thanks Kirsch.”

“No prob Laura. I’ll bring you your extra side of fries right away. You ladies keep flirting and having a heart eyes war.” he snickers and you hear Carmilla groan.

“Ignore him, he’s a dick.” Carmilla grabs her knife and fork and starts aggressively cutting her stake. Once she manages to cut a small piece away, you grab your fork and steal it from her plate earning a “heeeey!” and wide eyes from her.

“Ewww it is pretty bloody.” you say as you chew and she snickers cutting another piece.

“Who told you to have some? That’s on you, cutie.” she takes a piece of steak in her mouth and chews victoriously.

“Whatever.” you grab your burger while licking your lips and take a huge bite with a satisfied moan. “I have my hands full anyway.” you say grabbing another bite.

“Hmph.” she squints her eyes at you and you do the same leaning forward. Then she reaches for your fries and takes a hand full.

“Heeeey!”

“Sharing is caring. Don’t be selfish.”

“I will be as selfish as I want to be with my extra fries.” you move your fries away from her. “Ask nicely, theeeen I might let you have some.”

“Pff yeah right.”

“Fine.” you take some fries and move them to your lips. “more for me.” you try and tease her enjoying your fries and sucking on your salty fingers and she looks like she’s having trouble functioning. Her mouth agape and her eyes looking at your lips.

Oops, was that too much?

“Okay, can I please have some fries?”

You’re take another fry and rest it against your lips as you fain thinking about it.

“Hhmmm….fine.”

You bite down on your fry and are surprised when Carmilla leans over the table and bites the other half that was sticking out of your mouth. You swear your heart just did something weird, probably since it was such a surprise to suddenly have her so close to you. And as she lingers near your mouth chewing on her fry and humming pleased, well...you think your heart may be losing it. Then she smirks and gives you a quick peck on the lips, sitting back down on her seat looking like she just had her way.

“Thanks, cutie.”

“That was--I didn’t mean--you cheated.”

She smiles and shrugs looking down at her food. “you never specified which fries I could have so.”

“Well yeah but that’s--that wasn’t what I-”

“You alright there sweetheart? You seem flustered.” she teases.

You glare at her and stuff your face with more fries.

“You just caught me by surprise, don’t flatter yourself.”

“Mmmmhmm.” she chuckles to herself and you can feel the heat take over your cheeks.

“Whatever.” you take your plate of extra fries and put it between you two. “You can have some. FROM THE PLATE.”

She chuckles more and nods grabbing some fries from the plate before eyeing you.

“Don’t be mad again.”

“I wasn’t mad! I mean, I’m not mad now either but…”

“Good. I’d rather be making your day better rather than worse.”

She mumbles that last part while slurping on her grape soda that Kirsch brought her. He only brought one with two straws which is weird but also adorable. You guess he’s probably teasing Carmilla or something so why not join him?

You suck on your fingers again as you finish taking another bite from your burger and lean over the table, catching the spare straw on her soda with your lips and taking a sip. Carmilla doesn’t move away even though she’s clearly startled from your move, her eyes widening and her cheeks turning a little pink for some reason. It’s cute. You think you might like teasing her too.

After a few seconds her eyes aren’t wide anymore and are instead looking down at your lips around the straw. She let’s go of her straw and stays staring making you a little nervous and flustered as she does. You lose focus and stop sucking on the straw as you stare back at her. You swear she’s about to kiss you when Kirsch comes back.

“Sup ladies! Everything good? You girls need anything? Oh...uuuh..”

“Some privacy would be nice.” she replies annoyed and Kirsch shrinks where he stands.

“Hehe..yeah uhh...sorry. You babes continue having your moment! I’ll be right over here if you need anything.” he walks away and you swear Carmilla’s glare is shocking him as he leaves.

“Sorry...Kirsch is an idiot…”

You giggle and shake your head. “It’s fine. He just loves messing with us.”

“You can tell? thank god. I swear I wouldn’t have come here if I had known he was working tonight.”

“Hmmm.” you look down at your almost empty plate and poke the leftovers, letting some quiet come between you two.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Pfff what are you gonna do? Get me more fries?” you tease and she smirks leaning forward.

“No. I can’t handle anymore food right now.”

“Who said they were for you? Man you’re the worst date ever.” you tease more but immediately regret your words.

No no no no no. Oh no. Not a date. No that’s not what I meant. Aw crap.

Her smirk grows and she raises an eyebrow at you.

“A date huh? So that’s what you thought this was?”

“No.”

“Mhm, sure cupcake.”

“Shut up I’m serious. I was just messing with you.” you say defensively and start leaning back into your seat.

Carmilla grabs your hand over the table and you try and keep your serious face on but her smirk isn’t helping. Then she leans over the table and you flinch back not letting her try and surprise kiss you again but she just grins and holds up your hand in hers, giving it a quick peck and standing up.

“Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

She pulls you out of the booth and you furrow your brow at her.

“Where to?”

“It’s a surprise.” she smirks and you follow her as she pulls you towards the door.

“Well what about the bill?”

“They’ll put it on my tab. Come on.”

“You better not be taking me to a stripclub.”

Carmilla laughs and leads you outside by the hand. The two of you walk around the city for a while, just casually chatting about things or telling stories of times you’ve been in certain places that you pass. That’s when Carmilla seems to get an idea and turns down the block heading towards some abandoned looking house. You stop to stare at the place being suspicious of the whole thing while Carmilla’s standing by a rickety wooden fence to the side of the house. She looks at you and waves you over.

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

“Over there? Like what? My certain death?”

“Ha-ha...Come on, it’s only for a little while. It’s nice.”

“mmmm fine. But if it’s something freaky I swear I’ll stake you later.”

“Oh no, look, I’m shaking in my boots.” she says sarcastically and you walk up to her and push her shoulder playfully.

She steps over a trashcan and jumps over the fence and you follow doing the same. When you land on the ground you wipe your hands on your jeans and look around the backyard. The house looks like it caught fire or something from the side but other than that it’s actually a nice looking house. You hear Carmilla’s footsteps over the grass as they move further away and you snap out of your thoughts to follow her further into the backyard.

“So what did you want to show me?”

She reaches behind a tree and takes out a hammock. You look at her perplexed as she smiles and shakes her head, tying the hammock on another tree and sitting down on it. She spreads it and leans back looking above and you decide to join her on the hammock, doing the same.

“Woaaaah.”

You hadn’t really looked up the whole walk here so you didn’t notice how much clearer the stars were compared to back in the city. They’re shining through the big trees leaves and you can spot the moon if you tilt your head closer to Carmilla.

“It’s nice right?”

“You sneak in abandoned houses often?” you say teasingly and she rolls her eyes.

“No. This place used to be my house. It caught on fire like two years ago. My mother never fixed it but she didn’t sell it either so it’s still ours.” She shrugs and looks back up at the stars. “This was my favorite place to be during the night.”

“Hmm I think it’s kind of amazing...Sooo how did the house catch fire?”

She snorts and looks down at the house.

“I’d rather not talk about that.”

“Okay.”

“You know, one time there was a blackout on this side of town because of some electrical problem or something and you could see them even more clearly. It was really beautiful.”

“You really like the stars huh?”

“Eh. Somewhat…It’s comforting. to think how small we are in comparison. All the lives we’ve lead...the people we’ve been...Nothing to that light.”

“So yeah, you really like the stars.”

She purses her lips and shoves you with her shoulder. “Shut up. I should have never brought you here.”

“Nooo I’m only messing with you. I think it’s sweet.”

“Sweet? Ew, then I really shouldn’t have brought you here.”

She smiles and you smile back before leaning your head on her shoulder to be able to see the moon.

“I like it here. Crappy company and all.”

“You’re such a rude date, Jesus.”

“Aaaaah so is that what you think this is?” you say teasingly, using her previous words against her.

“Very funny.”

You try and imitate Carmilla as best as you can. “Not as funny as that bunched up little face, cutie.” you smile smugly and she’s poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue annoyed.

Yup. Teasing her is way too fun.

“You just gonna keep making fun of me, cupcake?”

“I don’t know. What else is there to do that’s just as fun?”

“I can think of a few things…”

“Oh really now?”

“Mhmm…” she says before biting her lip.

“Like what exactly?”

“Well, why not let me show you instead..” she leans closer and you act as if you don’t know what she’s up to, looking away and back up at the stars.

“Hmmm I don’t know, I mean you already showed me the stars, what else could there be?”

“Mmmm there’s one particular thing I have in mind..” she says in her most sultry low voice as she brushes her nose over your neck.

“Hmmm it sounds to me like you’re insinuating something Miss Karnstein.”

You feel her chuckle against your neck making you shiver before she starts leaving gentle kisses up your neck. You lick your lips longing for hers to reach them as she stops kissing your neck and stares at you, her face hovering near yours. She gently combs some of your hair back, tucking it behind your ear, her hand slowly sliding down your neck as she continues to stare at you with those eyes.

Those damn familiar intense eyes that somehow manage to make you forget how to breath a little. And then she smirks at you like she always does before leaning closer and kissing you softly.

-

God do you like kissing Laura.

You can’t even help it, you’re not gonna fight it anymore. It’s absolutely obvious to you that kissing her is something you really enjoy doing. And it’s strange and it’s new to you but it’s so much better than anything you ever felt while kissing other girls. What is it with her though? Why is it so good with her? Like seriously...How does she do this? Is this what kissing is supposed to feel like? Because this is nothing like what you’ve felt when you kissed all those other girls. Then again you were never really into kissing but it’s always the starting point with girls so you obviously had to kiss Laura just like any other girl that’s crossed your path. But you never expected to actually really enjoy it so much.

And it doesn’t even have to be some hardcore lip locking. You think out of all the kisses, you enjoy the slow ones the most. It’s like they make all of your senses heighten or something. Like focussing on the feeling of Laura’s lips against yours, or the small tastes you pick up from them, or the way you don’t need to use your eyes to see or know the way Laura’s lips and body are moving.

Or even the way you can hear every time she inhales through her nose or the rustling of her clothes moving whenever she does. It’s like you can feel everything.

And you don’t really know why.

The thought makes you stop kissing Laura and just stare at her, trying to find the reason why. It stays quiet for a moment as you keep staring at her. Laura’s eyes barely being open as she looks down at your lips through her lashes. She catches you off guard in your thoughts and leans forward capturing your lips again in a slow and gentle kiss. You change the way you’re sitting, bending your leg on the hammock as if facing Laura now. The way she kisses you pushes you back a little and you let it, comfortably lying on the hammock with Laura above you.

You stay kissing like that for a while until you sigh into Laura’s mouth.

“You okay?” she ask against your lips as she keeps kissing you gently.

“Mhhmm” you reply as you slightly nod and kiss her back.

She stops kissing you and rests her chin on your chest as she stares. You rest your head back on the hammock and wrap your arms around Laura pulling her up a little. She scoots up and rest her head on your shoulder, half laying on top of you. It’s quiet for a bit and you hadn’t noticed you started massaging Laura’s scalp as you stared up at the stars in the quiet night.

“You wanna know something?” she asks.

“Mmm?”

“My mom used to love the stars. She’d say her favorite one was my favorite one every time.”

“Which one?”

Laura giggles against your shoulder but raises her hand in the air pointing near the moon.

“The big bright one near the moon.”

“Laura...that’s a planet.”

“I know hahahaha...but back then I didn’t and my mom just played along so I wouldn’t get upset. I found out it was a planet later.”

“Hmmm.” you hum acknowledging her story and start combing her hair.

You don’t really know why you’re doing it though.

-

You’re starting to fall asleep on Carmilla. Hearing her heart beating steadily while she keeps combing your hair like that is extremely comforting.

And it doesn’t feel weird to just be like this while being quiet with her. It all seems really comfortable actually.

Which is kinda new to you when it comes to Carmilla.

Sure you’ve known her for a while now. Almost like two months if you actually think about it. And you’ve been seeing her on most days for well sexual purposes that you absolutely really enjoy so there’s that too.

But you’ve never really known much about her beyond that. You know what she’s like and how she is with you, how she flirts and seduces, how bad her sleeping habits are along with her eating habits, how she loves her job even though she always nags about it to you, how you can text each other pretty much whenever without necessarily having a subject, how she’s actually really nice and does things for others (or well for you for now.) or even how much she likes smelling your hair. (you’ve noticed she does that when she’s got her face near it).

But...you’ve never seen this side of her, the gentle side. Sure sometimes she randomly gets gentle and slow but not as much as tonight. And she never dates or brings people to her secret spots (at least you don’t think she does.) places that mean more to her than just a meal or a burned down house or her secret hammock spot. You’ve never even heard much about her past or her mom or how much she likes the stars.

It’s all a bit surprising to you, and new. But you find it really sweet.

Just like the way her heart keeps beating like that.

Just like the way she keeps tangling her fingers in your hair.

-

You stay looking at the stars for a while, all while feeling Laura’s chest rise and fall steadily against you, her coconut smelling hair being there like always. You think she fell asleep on top of you but you don’t really care. You just keep passing your hand through her soft hair as you stare up above at Laura’s favorite star...or well...favorite planet.

You close your eyes and just enjoy being like this...for whatever reason that you do. The hammock slightly swaying as you start drifting to sleep, your hand staying on Laura’s head.

 

 

You wake up to something cold hitting your face.

“mmm.” you mumble ignoring it.

Then you feel something hit you again.

“Ugh.” you open your eyes and feel more drops hitting you. “What the creeping hell…”

It starts raining and Laura wakes up, sitting up with a squeal.

“Shit!” you say.

Laura stands up and puts her hands over her head.

“What do we do Carm?”

You take the hammock and put it away in a hole behind the tree before taking Laura’s hand and jogging to the house’s back door.

“Now what?” she asks wiggling her wet arms dry.

“I don’t know.”

“What? Don’t you have like a key to your old house or something?”

“Not really.” she puts her hands on her hips and you roll your eyes continuing.” I told you, I haven’t lived here in a while.”

“Crap..” Laura licks the water that’s dripping down her lip as she looks out into the rain that’s getting worse.

“We can make a run for it back to my place?”

Laura nods and follow you back to the fence where you easily open it.

“Really?!”

“What? I just wanted to see you struggle with it earlier.”

“You are a terrible person.”

You laugh and so does Laura but the rain starts picking up.

“Shit, come on let’s run.” you grab her hand and you both start running back to your apartment, stopping once in a while to stand under some ceiling.

When you finally make it to her place the raining has already stopped but you’re both dripping wet. You do that trick you know with the buzzer so you don’t have to look through your keys and unlock the door.

“How’d you do that?”

“There’s a loose cable at the bottom that triggers it.”

“Ooooh.”

You walk inside and hold the door for Laura to step in. You start going up the stairs until you finally reach your door and take out your keys. You jump a little where you stand trying to not be so cold and open the door, throwing your keys on the kitchen island.

“Finally.” you turn around with a long sigh and look at Laura who’s shivering by the door as she rubs her arms up and down. “Shit, let me get you a towel.”

You run into your bathroom and take two towels with you, bringing one back to Laura who is now in your room.

“Thanks.”

You take off your wet shirt and pants that were sticking to your body and dry yourself up with the towel. Laura does the same and tries to dry her hair as she tilts over. You walk up to her and use your wrap your towel around her to keep her warm to which she smiles appreciatively at you. You walk to your drawers and pick out some dry underwear along with some pajamas, quickly changing right then and there. You turn around to get in your bed and see Laura standing half naked wrapped in your towel so you turn back to the drawer and pick out some sweatpants and a big t shirt, handing it over to her.

“Don’t mind if I go commando on these?”

“Knock yourself out, cutie.”

She smiles and takes off her underwear a little bit embarrassed and you find it adorable. You get into bed and watch her get into your clothes, something that you’ve never let anyone do before and once she finishes she hops into bed with you, sighing tiredly.

She doesn’t even try and talk to you like she usually does, instead closing her eyes immediately to go to sleep (like usual, not even close to you.) and you stare at her as she calmly breaths beside you.

“Are you still cold?” you ask and she hums a “nu uh” in the cutest way.

“Okay....” you reply and cover yourself with the bed sheets, sighing softly as you keep staring at her before closing your eyes.

After a few minutes of trying to go to sleep you feel Laura move closer to you and snuggle into your chest again, an arm wrapping lazily around your waist. You smile to yourself with closed eyes and lazily wrap your arms around her too.

“Goodnight, cutie.”

“mmm.” is the only reply you get before finally falling asleep.

-

In the morning you’re awake, still nuzzled into Carmilla’s chest and after a few minutes of just reveling in laying here you hear Carmilla’s phone start to ring.

“Nnggg, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” she says with a sleepy voice as she wakes up and you laugh into her chest with your eyes still closed.

She reaches for her phone with an annoyed groan and grabs it answering it.

“What!-- What do you mean he screwed up again?--What??--No I’m sleeping, go away Frank.” she hangs up and tosses her phone aside, wrapping her arm around you tighter.

Then the buzzer rings and Carmilla groans again before forcing herself to get up. You laugh to yourself as you hear her mumbling while walking to the door saying “I fucking swear to god. How dare you wake me up in this ungodly hour on a Friday.”

She presses the buzzer and after a minute there’s a knock on the door which she aggressively opens.

“Frank I am going to cut your balls off and make you eat them.”

“Good morning to you too Karnstein.”

“What do you want? I already told you I’m not fixing the cables again.”

“It’s not just the cables. The new guy damaged some equipment last night and we need you to check it out.”

“I’m not a fucking mechanic Frank. Send someone else.”

“Either way they managed to rent some spare equipment for today and we need you to go check it out too, also program it and all that crap.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Come on Karnstein, you do this and you’ll get that raise along with the whole crew's respect.”

“I don’t give a damn about the crew's respect.”

“How about some muffins everyday for the next two weeks?”

You, now peeking by the room door, see Carmilla think that last one over obviously giving in.

“Fine, I’ll do the damn thing.”

“Great! Here’s the keys to the van downstairs. Take it to the Channel and put it all up yourself.”

“What?!”

“See ya Karnstein!”

“Frank! Frank get back here!...God damn it..”

“Work?” you ask stepping out now that Carmilla’s closed the door.

“Ugh, yeah...remember that fucking idiot with the cables yesterday? Well he’s worse than an idiot now. He’s a freaking imbecile.”

“Ha! Sounds like you’re working overtime now.”

Carmilla groans and leans her head lazily on the door. “This sucks. I swear you’re cursed. I can never sleep when you’re here.”

“Sorry.” you laugh and Carmilla frowns against the door. “Well you need any help with anything?”

She opens her eyes and stares at you while still leaning on the door.

“Hmmm.”

“What?” you ask.

“You planning on going to work today?”

“Nope.”

“Hmmm.”

“Why?”

“Nothing…”

You squint your eyes at her suspiciously. “You need any help with that equipment?”

She smirks and you know you hit the jackpot so you roll your eyes but grin.

“You can help me out and come with me to work if you want. You could see what I do.”

“Hmmmm...An excuse to not go to work or be bored at home trying to ignore my dad? Sure.”

You went to grab your clothes but they were still wet so Carmilla had to lend you some of her punk rock stuff, and she kept looking at you like she wanted to eat you the whole ride to her job.

-

After helping Carmilla and some other two dudes carry all of the equipment inside you walked around the set, exploring and being wowed by this place. You knew Carmilla did something with a set and some sound but this is like part of a Channel or something which is super cool.

Later on while they were pre recording some interview thing, you were sitting on Carmilla’s lap looking at everything and her moving some switches around like it was the simplest thing on earth. She was wrapping her arms around you when they buzzed her for something so she had to get up, telling you she’d be right back and not to touch anything.

When she came back they gave her some more things to test out and she was clearly annoyed but did it anyway. After a few hours she finished checking everything and went back to the booth where she left you. She decided to keep the company van for the day saying she deserved it for waking up so early to save their asses, and she stopped by to get some take out before heading back to her apartment.

When you got there you changed into your now dry clothes and went to the kitchen to join her eating. She was standing, leaning on the kitchen island while you leaned on the kitchen counter and finished eating.

That’s when you notice that spending time with Carmilla isn’t so bad.

You kind of like it.

-

You were standing in the kitchen listening to Laura talk about your coworkers when you noticed something.

You were both standing where you were the first time you kissed.

And now that’s all you can think about while Laura goes into detail on how your co workers kept trying to ask her out in awkward ways, so you walk up to her and kiss her on the lips.

“That was...random.”

You smirk and explain.

“You know, this is where I first kissed you.”

“You remember that?”

“Maybe…” you trail off but decide to tease Laura. “It _waaas_ one of the top five kisses I’ve had.”

“Top five? You sure?”

“mmm I don’t know...I can’t really remember it much…”

Laura pulls you in and kisses you.

“You remember now?”

“mmmmm no, maybe after another one.” you smirk and she giggles.

She lingers near your lips but keeps moving away whenever you move closer so you decide to pull her closer by the hips instead, standing chest to chest. You start kissing her slowly and it starts picking up, turning more and more heated. You end up lifting her on to the counter again just like the first time and Laura smiles into the kiss and so do you.

“You know...I never did get to do this here…”

“Do what?” she teases you and you bite your lip.

“This is a kitchen you know...and I think I’m feeling hungry.”

“Hungry?”

You step in between her legs and pull her closer by her thighs.

“Yeah...I think I might just eat...you..up.”

You lean forward and brush your lower lip against Laura’s lips as you reach down and unbutton her jeans.

Laura licks her lips in anticipation and you start kissing down her neck while unzipping her jeans, Laura’s arms wrapping around your neck.

You start pulling at her underwear straps when suddenly you hear the door barge open and see Will walk in. Laura jumps back and zips up her jeans fast, getting off of the counter.

William stares at you surprised.

“Oops. Is this a bad time?”

“Uhhh I should go.” says Laura but you stop her and grab her hand.

“No-wait. Will, this is Laura, Laura this is Will.”

“Hey…” they both say awkwardly.

“He’s like a brother to me.”

“Yeah sorry ladies. You didn’t put the sock on the door.”

“You didn’t tell me you were back already.” you snap back.

Laura starts stepping away and you feel her hand leaving yours, but you quickly follow her’s and grab it again, interlocking your fingers this time.

“I’ll just drop my things and go.” says Will.

“Nono-It’s fine. I’m leaving anyway.” says Laura as she let’s go of your hand again and grabs the door heading out. “...Bye.”

“Bu-” you try and interject but she’s out the door just like that.

You start feeling kind of upset.

“Phewwwwww sorry Kitty. I’ll find you another babe when we go out tonight.”

“I don’t want another babe.” you say before even realizing.

“Wait what?”

You’re embarrassed and awkward and kind of confusing yourself now so you try and just brush it all off.

“Nothing, why the hell are you here anyway?”

“I told you i’d be back this weekend. I’m just a night early cause I missed my cranky housemate.”

“You’re an idiot you know that?”

“Yeah yeah whatever, you know you missed me too.”

“Shut up.”

You walk back to your room and close the door upset.

You don’t know if you should call Laura or something, but then again why should you call her? You didn’t do anything wrong.

 

 

So why do you feel so upset?


	10. Chocolate Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla have some distance between them, and it's only going to grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! HERE IT IS! it's long, it's probably filled with errors because i speed wrote it, and it's mostly a connecting chapter for where the story's going soooo i hope u enjoy!
> 
> Also wanna remind you guys that the definitions that appear every few chapters are based on a post on tumblr!
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)

 

> _Devotion: (noun)_
> 
> _passionate and selfless affection and dedication to a person._
> 
>  

 

* * *

 

 

You’re upset. You at least know that, but you don’t exactly understand _why_ though. And you don’t understand why you’re sitting here, on your bed, looking at your phone screen with a blank text message open either.

_Why don’t you just text her or call her or whatever?_

You squint your face confused to how you would even think of doing that.

You don’t _have_ to do anything. You never have before, and that shouldn’t be any different now. You never get so torn for something so stupid, which is extremely weird now that you _actually_ think about it. You’re not the kind of girl to be apologising or being clingy or even giving much thought over some fuck buddy.

That’s what Laura is after all, just another fuck buddy, _right?_

You look back down at your phone in your hand and rub your neck as you continue thinking things through.

Well she isn’t exactly a typical fuck buddy to you either _but_ …

You hear a knock on your door and quickly glance up at it before glaring once you know who it must be.

“Kittyyyyyyyyyy, come oooon don’t be so grumpy.”

“Not in the mood, Willy Boy.”

He knocks again and you huff out annoyedly.

“Can I open the door already?”

“ _No_.”

“I’m doing it, there’s no stopping me.”

“William!”

He opens the door with his signature smirk that is quite similar to your own but more mischievous, and steps in. You glare at him and cross your arms in front of your chest.

“I fucking swear-” you start.

“Oh come on! I literally just got back from driving for 10 hours away and I don’t feel like having to deal with your nagging neediness to brood.” he strolls towards you with wide open arms and your glare intensifies. “Come on. You know you miss me, _Roomie_.”

“Nobody misses you.”

He gives you a “who are you trying to fool” look before lunging forward and hugging you, making you fall back in your bed.

“Don’t! Touch me!” You try and wiggle yourself away but he only laughs before pulling away and sitting on your bed.

“So this is what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna go take a quick shower and get dressed because you, me and the bros are going out tonight _like it or not_. So cool down your sexual frustrations for the time being and get ready, because your presence is not optional, Kitty.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I need a wingman! I’m feeling very lonely today and I always get girls when it’s you and not Kirsch” he stands up. “So deal with it.”

“It’s not my fault you suck at being an _‘interesting person_ ’ so much.”

“Shut up. This is happening. Go get hot and spend some quality time with your favourite person.”

“You are NOT my favourite person.”

“Don’t care, Kirsch is going so stop whining.”

He smirks, walks away and shuts your door. He really isn’t your favourite person, but he’s like an annoying little brother so he knows how to get you to do things.

You sigh and brush your hair back before looking back down at your phone.

 _Fuck it_ , you didn’t do anything wrong anyway.

You toss your phone aside and go start getting ready.

-

Will decides to go to his usual club and after a while you’re in a better mood. Once Kirsch gets there you start drinking with him because you would trust him with taking care of you if you got too wild, instead of Will. He’s kind of all for breaking rules and having fun and surprisingly enough it hasn’t gotten him in trouble before.

You on the other hand? Might have ended up in a few arguments and getting all of you kicked out of places. That and having way too much fun with girls at the club.

For most of the night you’re having fun, actually being excited and happy that your housemate is back because fine, you did miss him a bit. But after a few hours, whenever you’re alone, you find yourself looking at your phone for some reason.

Kirsch keeps giving you this questioning stare whenever he catches you doing it and it makes you feel weird for doing it at all.

But you just can’t get it out of your head. So you take it out one last time and open a blank text message.

Carmilla(1:02am): what are you up to?

Laura(1:09am): watching Doctor Who.

You smile. Of course she’s doing something nerdy at 1am.

Carmilla(1:10am): I’m sure u could be doing better things with ur time, cupcake. ;)

Laura(1:12am): Nope. I like my Doctor Who marathons more.

You don’t know why but that last text makes you feel uneasy. Is she upset with you or something? You didn’t do anything wrong, you know that but...something feels different. She feels kind of...dry? You furrow your brow but put your phone away. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. You grab your beer from the bar and take a big gulp.

You shouldn’t have to worry.

You tap your fingers over your beer as you stare into the crowd at the club, and find yourself being unable to not think about it. You hesitantly take your phone back out and take another drink. You furrow your brow more feeling a bit upset that you’d have to do this.

Carmilla(1:17am): why did u have to leave today?

You firmly press send and stay focussed on the screen, waiting for her reply.

Laura(1:20am): cus i felt like it.

You furrow your brow deeper and say a quiet ‘what?’ to yourself.

Carmilla(1:21am): did i do something or?

Laura(1:21am): no.

Carmilla(1:21am): ok

She doesn’t reply back and you find yourself over thinking about it until Will appears from the crowd with two girls and a shit eating grin.

“Heeeey! Kitty! This is Stacy aaaand…”

“Debby.” answers the girl who isn’t besides Will.

“Hi.” you say drily and Will gives you the look that you know so well. You sigh internally and put on your usual smirk. “Well aren’t you cute.” you say towards Debby who smiles bashfully.

-

It’s your lunch break and instead of going out to eat with Betty and the rest you decided to go to Carmilla’s instead. You couldn’t help but feel kind of bad for yesterday. It was all really stupid, you know that. But you couldn’t help and feel weird about everything.

You’ve always knows that Carmilla’s had her share of girls over. And you know that you’re actually just another one of those many girls. It’s the whole point to this thing that you and her have anyway. That’s how it all started. That’s what it’s always been. And maybe you just got sidetracked with how much you two actually talk and spend time together other than having sex but...Ugh you don’t know.

When Will walked in and seemed so cool about the whole thing it kind of made you feel awkward. Then when he said the thing about not putting the sock on the door your mind clicked and you remembered that this is a usual thing for Carmilla.

It’s something she’s always been doing and you’re just a part of it. And it kind of made you feel uncomfortable to re-realise that, so you chose to just leave. The whole thing is technically new to you. You’ve never been one to just fuck around with strangers so from day one it was something you’re not exactly used to.

And you get that now, and you get that that’s just what you two are and always have been. Sure you two have gotten to know each other and are maybe even kind of...friends? But you’re still just fuck buddies.

You realise you shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the whole thing since it was kind of really dumb so you decided to stop by and apologise for being kind of a dick about it.

You don’t want to ruin what  you two have just because you’re new to this whole thing. And you’re sure Carmilla thinks you don’t want to keep this up but you do. So after making your way up to her floor determined and a bit nervous, you knock on her door and wait for her to open.

It’s around noon so she should be up by now or at least soon you think.

This is probably gonna be an awkward situation but you’d rather just come with it straight on rather than make it awkward between the two of you. After all, you do like her...as a friend...and stuff.

You knock again after a few seconds and hear some nagging coming from the other side of the door, making you smile.

She opens the door with messy hair, some short shorts and a t-shirt that drips on one shoulder. Her sleepy eyes widen in surprise and you look away from them for a second.

“Hey.” you say.

“Hey.” she says sounding a bit surprised.

You’re about to start speaking when you see some topless girl walk by behind Carmilla and hear her ask something.

“Heeey, have you seen my shirt?”

Carmilla turns and answers nonchalantly. “Window.” she turns back to face you and you can’t see where the girl is because the door is in the way as Carmilla holds it.

_Well this is way more awkward than you thought it would be._

She has a girl over and you feel like an idiot for not thinking she would. She’s fucking other girls...why would you even think she wasn’t? You guys did meet through an accidental sext for crying out loud.

You look back up to find Carmilla staring at you as if waiting for you to talk.

“Uhhh...never mind. Didn’t know you were busy. Sorry.” you give her an awkward tight smile and start turning around.

“Laura? Wait-.” you think you hear her tone change into a slightly desperate one but you’re already speeding down the steps to leave.

Nope. This was a total bad idea.

You quickly make it outside and stop once you close the building’s front door behind you. You sigh deeply in relief, your back against the door as if blocking it shut.

You should have known better.

-

You close the door to your apartment _hard_ once you see Laura’s out of reach. You hear Will walk out of his room right after and stand behind you.

“Was that the same girl again?” he says confused and you’re starting to feel confused yourself once you notice how angry you are.

You glare at him and are about to answer him when the girl comes back whining.

“I can’t find iiiiiiit.” She says while wrapping her arms around Will, and you shut your mouth hard trying not to argue in front of her. Instead you roll your eyes and storm past them towards the window, grabbing her shirt and turning back. You see them both kissing and roll your eyes even harder when you see Will’s hand on her ass. You interrupt them and hand her her shirt to which she smiles bashfully before putting it on. While she does this you make eye contact with Will and sigh.

The usual then.

“Sorry to break it to you this way cutie but we have to get to work. It was nice having you, but you should leave.”

“Oh. Oh okay, It’s cool. Nice meeting you Carmilla.”

You give her a tight smile and she turns to Will.

“It was especially nice meeting you, Will.” She kisses him and you ignore them and head to your room.

You hear the front door close after a few minutes and Will walking towards your room.

“Thanks!” he says.

“Whatever. I know the rules. You bring them in, I take them out.”

“God I missed you, Sis.”

You scoff at him calling you sis while you go through your drawers.

“Yeah well, I wasn’t kidding about work. I have shit to do. You should go be productive too.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. I thought you were off on weekends?”

“I promised I’d show this new kid the ropes. He sucks at everything.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“Shut up.”

He chuckles and you know he doesn’t mean it. He taught you most of what you know about sound engineering but you were always pretty good. He said so himself back in the day. He turns and leaves your room and after you get dressed and ready you find yourself grabbing your phone.

You don’t know what Laura came by to tell you, and she usually texts or calls before dropping by so it must have been important. Is she okay? Did she have another fight with her dad or something? You worry and look down at your phone. But why did she just leave again? What happened? You click through your phone and find Laura’s contact deciding on calling to see if she’s okay or not.

She doesn’t pick up.

-

The next day you call again but there’s no answer either.

Maybe she’s busy again. Maybe she’s handling whatever problem she has this time or something.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Will walks out of his room. His hair dripping wet while he wears a purple v neck and some jeans. He stands in the middle of the apartment holding his keys and looks at you.

“Ready to go?”

You nod and he nods back opening the front door and getting his van ready. You look at your phone for a moment before tucking it in your back pocket and heading out behind Will.

It’s Sunday so you have the day off as usual, and Will and Kirsch decided to have a ‘bro’s bonding night’ at his place since the three of you are back together. Kirsch says clubbing doesn’t count as bonding time so he always insist on coming over to his place.

You like just hanging with your closest friend, and seeing them dork out over newly posted pictures of some hot celebrity or video games makes you happy to have them around. But something doesn’t feel the same.

And your mind keeps going back to how Laura is doing throughout the whole night. As much as you try not to think about her she always seems to make her way into your thoughts. And with every hour that goes by where you don’t know if she’s actually having to deal with some problem is making you kind of uneasy.

Kirsch seems to notice after a while but he doesn’t say anything which you appreciate. He’s always known you better than Will and Will isn’t exactly sly about saying things or asking things that make you angry or uncomfortable, so you don’t enjoy telling him anything other than work or house issues.

But you don’t understand why you feel weird when it comes to telling him about Laura. Why should you tell anyone about her? Why should you even consider it something to explain or talk about? It’s not like she’s special.

It’s not like she’s any different from anyone else you’ve slept with.

But in a way she is...and you hadn’t actually thought about it until now. Now that Will’s back and you don’t want to bring anything about her up when it comes to him.

Still, if you keep looking at your phone every few minutes he’s probably going to ask what the hell is wrong with you and you don’t really know what’s going on with you yourself.

Laura has a life of her own and so do you. You shouldn’t have to be so paranoid over not hearing about her. Right now you just have to enjoy spending time with the guys in your life.

 _Yeah, that’s it_.

You put your phone away and sit back down on the couch next to Will and Kirsch. You grab the controller when it’s your turn to start playing and take a sip of your beer on the floor as you wait for the round to begin.

Yeah. That’s it.

 

 

Monday comes and you don’t hear from her either.

-

You’re at work, in a bathroom stall when you groan for like the fifteenth time today. It’s Monday and mother nature has decided to grace you with it’s presence finally to top off all your problems.

First off you’ve been working day and night at the office trying to organise all the files on the Europe thing along with meeting after meeting to check that everything is running smoothly. Your dad seems to be less stressed, having you to help out on the meetings and keep the people in order when they start either getting worked up or losing focus on the subject. You even bought a whistle.

Secondly comes the increasing awkward feeling you’ve been getting since you’ve started avoiding Carmilla. Okay maybe not avoiding since you HAVE been really busy but you haven’t even texted her since the thing at her front door. You don’t really know how to start just talking to her like normal, and it’s frustrating you because you do want to hear from her and all but you don’t really know how to break this new ice that’s formed between you two. Plus maybe you’ve been a bit upset over her having sex with some other chick since it’s been working around your head that apparently you’re not enough to satisfy her needs.

But then, maybe that was just you PMS-ing all along. Yeah, that sounds like it makes sense. You’re not jealous or anything, it’s just your period.

Ugh your period. Why do the heaven’s punish you this way?

You wash your hands after using the bathroom and shake them dry before heading out to the hall where you run into your dad.

Things have gotten smoother with him and you’re both talking more even though you’re still kind of mad. But he’s your dad and he’s all you have, what else could you do?

“Laura!” he calls before jogging a bit towards you. “ you got a minute?”

“yeah dad, what’s up?”

He gestures for you to follow him while he walks so you do, walking beside him.

“Well, you know how we’ve been focussing on all this Europe stuff for the company.” you nod. “and you’ve been at every meeting and every step of the way with all the paperwork and information.” he pauses and you answer with a ‘yeah’ for him to continue. “Well...we’ve been thinking-No--I’VE been thinking.” he puts his arm around you and gives you a focussed look. “You know this whole deal better than any of us do, even me, and you have the experience to handle this and many other things along with people.” he points at your whistle around your neck and you smile. “Well, I’ve decided to change things up a notch.”

He stops walking and removes his arm from around you, facing you instead and giving you his full attention. You do the same, curious as to what he’s getting at.

“Well, I’ve decided that--It’s just, you know I’m proud of you and I just want you to know that I trust you and that you are my most important asset in this company and...in my life of course-”

“Dad. You’re rambling.”

He nods and clears his throat. “Okay, So, I want you to handle the Europe deal.”

Your eyes widen and you’re so surprised that you don’t really grasp it. “Wait,what?”

“I want you-” he pokes your chest with his index finger. “to handle Europe.”

“But-but--Dad that’s--I couldn’t.”

“Snookums, you can. I know you can.”

“But...that’s like a big deal dad. It’s important for the company and--it’s important for you, dad.”

“I know, and that’s why I’m trusting you with it.” he places both hands on your shoulders. “You can handle it. All you have to do is everything you’ve been doing here. Give meetings, tell people what to do, help them out, read over the papers. That kind of stuff. You’ll just be my right hand man...er..woman.”

You’re nervous but at the same time you’re actually quite excited about this. Europe? Holy Hufflepuff.

You agree with a motivated and firm nod and your dad’s smile widens. He’s trusting you enough to do this for him, and for him to think so highly of you really makes you so happy.

He’s actually been paying attention to you.

Maybe everything isn’t so bad right now.

-

It’s Tuesday and as you work at the channel’s studio supervising the recording of another interview you think you finally get it.

You think you know why it feels so weird not to know about Laura daily.

Ever since the day you and her met she had become a constant in your life. Maybe not an everyday thing but you would see her most nights, you’d texts most nights, you’d have sex most nights, you’d talk most nights, you’d see each other constantly.

And you might have adapted to that while Will wasn’t back to take up your time. Other than Kirsch, she was the constant while he was away working.

So now that you haven’t heard from her in like 3 or 4 days it just feels kind of...odd.

What’s even odder to you is the fact that you want that constant. You kind of...miss-

“Karnstein! Helen’s having problems with the mic again.”

You look back at the door and stand from your chair.

“The new kid touch them?”

Frank shrugs and you grunt before heading out.

You know, you liked it better when your days were being entertained by some childish tiny person’s ranting over work.

Once you finish up with the mic and tell Helen it’s done, you start heading back down the hall.

You slow down as your mind keeps going to a certain place and you slowly take out your phone from your back pocket.

Carmilla(3:49pm): Hey. is everything okay?

You sigh in defeat and start tucking your phone in your back pocket when it vibrates in your hand. You immediately look at the screen.

Laura(3:49pm): yeah, why?

You take a now calm deep breath and start replying.

Carmilla(3:49pm): nothing. what are u up to?

You chew on your lip as you stare at the screen for a while. Why are you nervous? A woman walks past you in the hallway making you look up from your phone and you look ahead to where you’re supposed to be right now. You quickly tuck your phone and power walk back to the studio.

Once you’ve reached the door you feel your phone vibrate again and take it out.

Laura(3:51pm): oh u know, being a slave at the office. Just another Tuesday. *cries*

You smile at your phone, your hand on the door handle to the studio. Then you receive another text.

Laura(3:51pm): I have a lot of new shit to handle now so yey me. #promotion #sortof? can’t talk right now though.

Your smile fades as you open the door without looking.

“Is the mic working?” says Frank making you look up from your phone.

“hm? Yeah, bad cables.” He nods and walks past you to leave the room.

You sit down and look back at your phone.

Well at least she replied.

-

The next day you try and text her again but she doesn’t answer and you’re back to being frustrated.

Frustrated? Why are you getting frustrated over this girl?

You grab your house keys and leave your apartment, getting in Will’s van outside. Will insisted on going shopping and brought Kirsch along because apparently he doesn’t trust your taste in clothing.

You don’t really do malls that much but someone’s got to handle these too, or else they’d never leave the damn store.

Once you’re in the back seat of the van, Will and Kirsch are in the front trying to find a good radio station. Or mostly arguing about it.

You take your phone out again and see your previous text.

Carmilla(5:13pm): still busy?

You start typing again.

Carmilla(5:20pm): Cupcake?

You look at your phone for a full minute before doing your best to contain a groan and firmly place your phone next to you on the seat.

_Is she ignoring me?_

“So C! What do you think about bow ties?” says Kirsch.

“What??”

All you can think about is that weird Doctor Laura’s always obsessing over.

-

You’ve been jumping from store to store while the guys looked for some new shoes, which what the hell. Weren’t they shopping for clothes?

You left them at a Journey’s when Kirsch started defending how “dude, shoes are accessories, don’t you know anything?”

You’re walking around the mall slurping on a fruit punch flavoured slurpee and it feels nice to be away from those two shopaholics.

You hear your phone chime and furrow your brow taking it out.

Laura(6:44pm): -download image-

You click on download, surprised she texted you back and you almost choke on your slurpee.

She sent you a picture of her at some restaurant with some people you don’t know, her face filled with rage as everyone laughs around her and point at her shirt. It’s stained blood red from the collar down, her chin covered in some red liquid.

You get another text quickly after.

Laura(6:44pm): I hate everything.

Carmilla(6:45pm): especially table manners apparently. lol

Laura(6:45pm): THE CUP WAS TOO BIG. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. GOD.

Carmilla(6:46pm): sounds to me like u just don’t know how to drink properly.

Laura(6:46pm): it literally looks like I just murdered somebody with my mouth.

Carmilla(6:47pm): look at the bright side. ud make a nice vampire. ;)

Laura(6:47pm): no way. I literally don’t want to see red ever again.

You laugh as you can imagine her in her tiny rage. You quickly switch on the camera on your phone and take a selfie with your slurpee and your red stained lips and tongue, sending it to her.

Carmilla(6:48pm): -download image-

Laura(6:48pm): -.- seriously?

Carmilla(6:48pm): hey i was just trying to show my support. I have stains too.

Laura(6:49pm): literally not the same. UGH THIS IS NEVER COMING OUT.

Carmilla(6:49pm): it can’t be that bad.

Laura(6:50pm): -download image-

You start laughing again once you see a picture of her in a bathroom with her button down shirt unbuttoned. The middle of her bra visible and stained red.

Laura(6:50pm): IT IS LITERALLY ON MY BRA. FML

Carmilla(6:51pm): well i mean...red looks good on u.

Laura(6:51pm): not funny

Carmilla(6:51pm): I mean it!

You enter a store and look around a bit finding a red dress. You stretch it over your front and take a picture with it while smirking.

Carmilla(6:54pm): -download image-

Carmilla(6:54pm): I bet u’d look great in this.

Laura(6:55pm): NO. KEEP RED AWAY FROM ME.

Laura(6:55pm):.... although.. that dress is kinda cute.

Carmilla(6:55pm): told you.

Laura(6:56pm): but it probably doesn’t even fit right.

Carmilla(6:56pm): what? how would u even know. It’s literally nice and slim.

Laura(6:57pm): mmmm nope. don’t trust it.

Laura(6:57pm): Go try it on and tell me.

Carmilla(6:58pm): bossy are we?

Laura(6:58pm): i will hit u with this damn stained shirt, i swear.

You chuckle and take the dress to the fitting room, trying it on. You look at yourself in the mirror and unconsciously fix your hair up along with making your breast look nice in this dress before taking a picture and sending it to Laura.

Laura(7:02pm): wow…

Laura(7:02pm): okay. I think I like red again.

You smile at your phone screen and start taking off the dress. Your phone chimes while you’re still getting dressed and you grab it and look while standing in your ripped jeans and your bra.

Laura(7:04pm): hey i g2g. dinner meeting with my coworkers and all.

You pout and decide to take another picture. You send her a picture of you pouting in your bra, making sure your bare back is reflected on the mirror in the fitting room.

You finish getting dressed and are leaving the store when you get another text.

Laura(7:07pm): -download image-

You smile. It’s a picture of her pouting back at you with a black jacket zipped up, replacing her stained shirt. She was still at the restaurant and sitting at the table. You realize by the angle of the picture that she took it quickly while no one was looking and find it sweet of her to have replied even though she’s busy.

Laura(7:07pm): sorry :( have a good night!

Carmilla(7:07pm): u too.

You put your phone away and sigh, looking around the area. You should probably get back to the guys soon, or else you’re never leaving this mall. But then something catches your eye though and you find yourself entering a different store to take a look at it.

It’s a dark blue sweater with white bunnies on it, and it somehow reminded you of Laura.

You ended up buying it.

-

Thursday evening you’re late for work while waiting for a new batch of chocolate chip cookies to be made at Aunt Annie’s Bakery. After waiting a while you finally get your cookies and are rushing out.

That's when you open the door and nearly run into her.

Laura stares at you startled for a second but then smiles.

“Hey.” you say as you smile.

“Hey.” she answers back sounding a bit hesitant.

“Nice to finally see you.” you say and she ducks her head with a shy smile.

“Yeah, nice to see you too. What are you doing here anyway?”

You raise your paper bag filled with cookies and she opens her mouth while nodding in understanding.

“Right. Of course.” she says and doesn’t look straight at you. It’s adorable and it reminds you of when the two of you first met in person. She always has her shy moments and they’re all so cute.

“You know how much I like sweets.” she giggles still not looking straight at you. “ _You know..._ I bought two of them. You should have one.” she looks up at you.

“What? You sure? I can totally just go in and buy my own.”

You smirk. “Yeah, I’m sure.” You take out one cookie and give her the bag with the other one as you start chewing on it. Laura simply stares back at you as you eat yours and the two of you are slightly smiling at each other. You realise you’re still late for work and your eyes widen. “Shit, I have to go.” Her smile fades.

“Oh, yeah sure.”

You eat the last bite of your cookie before taking a hesitant step away from Laura. You take another step, but this time it’s towards her as she looks at you.

“Are you busy tonight?”

“Not that I know of, no.”

You smile at her. “Good.”

She furrows her brow at you but smiles anyway.

“You should come by later.”

“Sure, I’ll bring more sweets then.”

“Perfect.” you smile wider and start stepping away from her backwards. “See you tonight then.”

She gives you an awkward wave. “See you tonight.”

-

You go up the stairs to Carmilla’s apartment, remembering the last time you were here and it’s a little awkward but you already agreed to coming by so you’ll just have to deal with it. You knock on the door and Carmilla unexpectedly opens it right away.

“Hey.” she smiles at you and you give her a tight smile back.

“Hey.”

She sees the plastic bag filled with goodies and smiles wider.

“You brought sweets.”

“Yup.”

She looks back up at you and you don’t know how to keep this conversation going. You don’t know what to say or what to do and you may be starting to panic a little bit because what were you thinking. You weren’t ready for this.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and grabs your forearm, pulling you inside the apartment and shutting the door. She slickly takes the bag from your hand and walks up to the kitchen island, placing it on top of it as she looks through the bag.

“You even brought the chocolate cake? With the little fudge ball on top?”

“Mhmm.”

She looks back at you with a satisfied smirk and walks over to you. You tense up a bit not knowing what to expect but she just punches your shoulder playfully and really gently.

“You are literally the best, Cupcake.”

You giggle at her statement and she goes to get the bag and back to you, pulling you by the hand to her room.

“Come on. They posted the Twilight Saga on Netflix and I need to vent on how terrible they portray vampires with someone.” She drops the bag on her bed and starts unpacking the goodies.

“Pfff. You’re just using me as an excuse to watch it.”

She scoffs. “Of course not.” She takes some of the fudge from the top of the cake and walks towards you, licking her finger clean. “I’m using you for the sweets.” she says with a smirk before leaning in and kissing you on the cheek. She quickly turns around as if nothing was a big deal and sat on her bed with her laptop.

You stayed standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do after she suddenly kissed you and she seems to notice. She looks at you and pats the space next to her on her bed as she looks the movies up on Netflix. You awkwardly sit next to her, fully clothed while she’s only in some short shorts and a tank top.

The first movie was quiet and there was some distance between you two, but by the second movie you had loosened up again while ranting about Kristen Stewart. You ended up taking off your shoes and sweater while scooting a bit closer to Carmilla to see the movie better.

You feel a bit better about everything now, even if you’ll never bring it up with Carmilla. You’d probably just make things weird again when everything’s fine.

You’re eating your slice of chocolate cake when Carmilla first stays looking at you instead of the screen. You try not to act like you’re noticing but you give up and glance at her.

“What?”

“You’re a very messy eater.”

“What?!” You say a bit surprised. Your mind going to the dirtiest places.

Carmilla raises her thumb and rubs it over the side of your mouth. You stare at her frozen in place as she furrows her brow and licks her thumb to clean you better. Her wet thumb slowly rubbing against the side of your mouth before she takes it to hers and sucks the chocolate from it.

“There. Problem solved.”

You don’t say anything back, instead keeping your eyes on Carmilla’s lips. You feel like she does the same even though you can’t really tell since you can’t make yourself look away from them. That’s when you lean in and give her a kiss on the lips. It’s simple and sweet but it felt so good.

It’s been so long since you’d gotten to kiss her and man did you really like to.

You move away from her lips and just stay looking back at them, wanting to go back for more but not being sure if it was the best thing to do.

That’s when Carmilla leans in and kisses you instead, still a simple kiss but your lips stay connected to hers for much longer before finally parting. You feel her cold nose on your cheek and you don’t open your eyes, not needing to see to know that she’s right there. You lick your lips, tasting the chocolate cake on them and you wonder if it’s because of you eating cake or because of Carmilla’s lips.

You kiss her again to check but find yourself lost in the taste as you continue making out on her bed. Her hand is resting on your knee and you can’t help but feel glad that she is taking it slow right now, probably knowing that you don’t feel as comfortable as you did before this whole week.

You move a bit closer to her, making her slightly move back, and you let your hand roam around her legs. She’s still sitting cross legged with her laptop on them but as soon as she feels your hand she pushes the laptop away and tugs on your shirt towards her. Your body moves on its own and you sit on her lap still kissing. Her hands go to rest on your ass but you feel them hesitate and lazily tangle with each other behind your lower back, pulling you a bit forward and closer to her.

You stay that way just kissing for a long time, and all you hear is the movie playing in the distance, not caring where it’s at or what they’re saying.

Carmilla’s hands untangle behind you and instead go to rest on your hips. Some of her fingers brushing against your bare skin under your shirt. That’s when you pull away.

“I can’t.”

She looks at you for like 10 seconds before talking. “Why not?”

You bunch up your face. “I’m on my period right now.”

“Well..” she brushes some hair behind your ear while looking at it. “I don’t really mind that.”

“wELL I MIND!” You say feeling flustered, your cheeks turning redder and redder as she smirks at you satisfied with herself. “Gosh you have no boundaries Carmilla!”

Carmilla shrugs but ends up laughing at you being so flustered and arguing with her while still sitting on her lap.

“Fine, I won’t do anything.” she says.

“Thank you!”

You stay sitting on her lap and staring down at her for a few minutes before her smile starts to grow.

“Um, cupcake? Are you just going to sit on my lap all night then?”

“What?! No! I just--I was...distracted. Sorry.” You start getting off her lap and sitting back down next to her on the bed.

“Distracted? Is that what people call it now?” she teases.

“Shut up. My mind was thinking about something else.”

“What was it thinking about then?”

She raises her eyebrows at you with a smug smile and you feel the mood change for you. You fidget in place and look away, tugging some hair behind you ear.

“Nothing just...my trip to Europe.”

Her smile falters and you feel her getting different around you. “You’re going to Europe? When?”

“I’m actually leaving on next week’s Friday so.” you say looking down at your lap and glancing to the side at Carmilla.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.”

“That’s cool I guess.” She looks away and grabs her laptop, putting it on her lap again.

The ambient around you feels different now and it had gone quiet. Carmilla was obviously surprised by everything and not taking it so well. You’ve already been away from her for a few days and now you’re leaving soon for work. She’s probably upset about it.

But then again, why would she be? She’s clearly got other girls to keep herself busy.

You still feel kind of bad about it all and not telling her sooner. But you shouldn’t have to tell her anything at all, you guys aren’t dating or anything. The uncomfortable feeling in you starts to grown as the movie keeps playing.

You felt a bit better when Carmilla glanced at you and tugged at your thigh for you to get closer, which you did. You leaned your cheek on her shoulder, your arm behind her keeping you balanced, her hand securely resting on your thigh.

Maybe you shouldn’t have told her about Europe...

 


	11. Fish and Chips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Laura and Carmilla deal without having one another close by, and mistakes are made but things are starting to make sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys! I've been having some trouble with college and family and generally no free time at all. 
> 
> WHICH ALSO BRINGS ME TO: apologising for not replying to some comments. I'm sorry! :( I promise I read them all and i usually reply to all of them but as i said ^ too much shit on my hands. 
> 
> ANYWAYS this chapter is totally for nat-bah and their ridiculously accurate head cannons. You'll see which ones you were close to, Jay ;)
> 
> This ones pretty dang long or many it just felt long to write but yup sooo get ready haha.
> 
> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)

One more day.

That’s the time you have left with Laura before she has to leave on her trip. You hadn’t really given it that much thought until now. Your mind’s been occupied with stupid things like overthinking and analysing this past week. Which, like you said, it’s just stupid. And you really just wish you could stop thinking about it all.

But you noticed how different Laura’s been this week and maybe it’s dumb or maybe it’s all in your head but you’re sure things changed since Will’s been back. Laura’s been basically distant compared to how she used to be. Her text messages and calls barely existent. She still comes by the apartment every few days and you _have_  had sex like always and it’s still great sex but something's just not right. Something’s not the same with her. She doesn’t kiss you as much as she used to (which, okay, you don’t really understand why that bothers you so much. You never used to do the kissing thing with all those other girls. but...you have to admit… you do enjoy it with Laura.) Which is stupid and frustrating and you don’t get if it’s just all in your head or if she’s actually deliberately kissing you less. And besides only coming over when Will isn’t home, she hasn’t stayed over.

_Not once._

Which shouldn’t be a big deal to you. You hate it when girls stay over, you usually kick them out after sex or whatever the hell was happening. (You’ve said it before and everyone knows that’s just the way it is. William, Kirsch, everyone.) This should be fine with you, it’s how it’s always been.

So why do you feel so strange whenever she bails after sex? When she makes up some lame excuse to not stay or just literally says _“I’m leaving.”_ and walks out even if she’s clearly tired or if it’s raining or 4am.

And you don’t know if it’s just because it became habit of hers before this all started or not but whenever she doesn’t come over she would always text or call. You never really cared much for it, it was just something you think she kind of did and you got used to.

But this whole week, she didn’t do it.

She didn’t text you to say something stupid about her job or her dad. She didn’t send you pictures while working or in a meeting. She didn’t call you to ask you about your day or nag at you for making her have sexual thoughts while working.

She didn’t call or text whenever she wasn’t planning on coming over like she used to.

And maybe it’s just you having to much free time on your hands to let yourself think about all these stupid little details that probably aren’t a big deal at all. But you don’t know if they’re true. You don’t know if it’s just you or if it’s actually what’s been happening with her.

And now, tomorrow she’s leaving. She had gotten a bit better yesterday and today though. She seemed more normal that this week and maybe it’s just you. Maybe you should stop thinking too much into things.

Why would you care so much about stupid things like that anyway? It’s just Laura.

Maybe you’ve just gotten too used to her, to having her around you all the time.

You shake your head and lean forward in your chair at work.

Nah, that’s bullshit. You’ll be fine without her. You’ve always been fine with your life. Work, party, sleep, work again, party again, sleep again. That’s how it’s always been.

And that’s how it’s always gonna be so whatever. You don’t have to worry about anything. And you aren’t. You aren’t worrying about anything at all.

-

“Are you sure you got everything?”

“ _Yes dad_ for the third time. It’s just a few weeks, it’s not like I’m moving.” you say as you let him take your suitcase from your hands and take it down the stairs.

“Alright alright, just checking. You’ve never been on a trip by yourself so I’m kinda nervous.”

“I’ll be fine dad, you were the one who wanted this remember?”

“ _That_  is true, but I’m allowed to have my second thoughts.” You cross your arms and give him a look not believing him one bit and he laughs at you. “Fine fine, I’m just being a dad. Gimme a break will ya kiddo?”

“Mhm.”

You follow your dad out to the car and help him put your suitcase in the trunk before going to the back seat like usual. He gets in the driver’s seat but hesitates turning the car on. He turns around and looks at you. “What?” you say and he seems happy.

“Why don’t you sit in the front today? Have some bonding time with your old man.”

You don’t usually sit in the front seat. It’s always just been the way things are. Dad’s always got a bunch of papers and his briefcase in the front so you usually go to the back unless it’s empty up front. You smile wide at him and nod quickly, stepping out of the car and getting back in the passenger seat. You smile at each other widely and he turns on the car.

“So what’ll it be today, Laura? Madonna? Britney Spears?”

You giggle and shake your head. “Surprise me, dad.”

He nods with a mischievous smile and takes out a CD marked “Rihanna”. He starts backing out of the driveway and you’re still staring at him wondering why he was smiling like that. But when he skips a few songs on the CD and tries acting nonchalantly you know he’s up to something.

Then the guitar to Rihanna's “shut up and drive” comes on and your smile widens as his does.

“What? It’s a long drive to the airport. Might as well get in the mood.”

You shake your head and find yourself singing along to the chorus as the drive continues. You and your dad start singing and dancing and the performance your dad does trying to whip his hair and shaking his shoulders has you laughing so hard it hurts.

If going on this trip means being like this with your dad then you’d go on as many trips as you could.

You love spending time with him, even if it’s just an hour drive to the airport.

You get to the airport with in the morning and your dad pays for parking just so he can walk you to the security check. He starts telling you about all his airport stories and as you get closer and closer to being next he starts asking you if you have everything for like the fourth time.

“Yes dad. Don’t worry, I can take care of myself, okay?”

“I know. I just want this trip to be good for you. You know what to do when you get there right?”

“Call you to let you know and find my ride to the hotel.”

He nods. “About that. I may have left a minor detail out.”

“What minor detail?” you furrow your brow and take another step, only two people before you in line.

“Weeeeell, nothing to worry about.” he rubs his neck the way he does and you know there’s something fishy going on again. You squint your eyes at him.

“ _Daaaad"_

“Don’t worry about it schnookums! All you have to do is get there. I got someone to pick you up once you’re there. They’ll be there for whatever you need and help you out at the office, okay?”

“Hmmmm..” you squint harder at him and take another step forward. “Okay,dad.”

“Great! Now give your old man a hug.” you do and his hug is extra long and tight and if it were any other time you’d be so happy about it, but you’re next in line and there’s people behind you waiting.

“Dad. I got to go now.”

“right right. Have a safe trip, sweetie.”

You nod. “Bye dad.” you step forward and show your passport and plane ticket. Once they let you through you look back and smile at your dad who waves at you before getting on his phone like always.

Well it was nice while it lasted.

You make your way through security and onto your gate wondering what your dad is keeping from you. You know the signs: Neck rub, “schnookums”.

You keep trying to figure out what it might be while you wait for your flight. You text Perry and LaF letting them know you’re leaving soon and you stay staring at your phone as you read your favorites again.

**LaF**

**Carmilla**

**Perry**

**Pops**

Everyone on your list knows you’re about to leave...well...everyone but one.

You worry your bottom lip as you keep staring and you look out the window to see your plane pulling in.

Should you text her too? Would she even care?

maybe you shouldn’t. But then again, you’ve been distant with her and she’s only been her usual self with you.

Maybe you should just do it. Just--stop worrying about everything so much and just do things. Don’t overthink them.

You exhale heavily and look back out to the plane. You walk up to the window and switch on your phone camera taking a selfie and sending it to her.

There, that’s something you’d usually do right? You quickly put your phone away and stand to where the lady is calling everyone to go in.

You hear your phone ring and quickly take it out of your back pocket seeing the new message.

Laura(10:15am): -download image-

Carmilla(10:15am): hope u don’t get seated next to a crying baby for the whole flight. ;)

You huff out a laugh and reply.

Laura(10:16am): no one as whiney as you. ;)

Carmilla(10:16am): so mean. aren’t i the one who doesn’t do mornings?

Carmilla(10:16am): but seriously, have a nice trip, cupcake.

Laura(10:17am): thanks :)

You put your phone on airplane mode as you take a step forward in line.

_Maybe she does care…_

 

 ****  
  
About six and a half hours later you tiredly make your way to baggage claim and my god does your neck hurt from napping in the flight. You finally see your bag and reach for it before calling your dad.

You start walking away from baggage claim. “Hey dad, I made it. Who do I have to call or whatever?” You stop walking when you see a tall person stand in your way. Your mouth slightly opens as you look up and see who it is.

“Hey Hollis.”

“D-Danny?!” you think you hear your dad say something in the lines of “oh great so you found her!” but you hang up and take an awkward step back. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m your ride. _obviously_.”

-

You sit in the company vehicle with your arms crossed and a not happy at all face. Danny slams the trunk closed and comes to the drivers seat next to you, buckling up. You see her look at you through the corner of your eye.

“Let me guess, your dad didn’t tell you I was the one picking you up.”

“Nope.”

“Or assisting you through everything here.”

“Nothing.”

She whistles and nods to herself. “Figured.”

You can’t believe he’d do this. Your ex?? He put you with your _ex_?!? Now it all makes sense. His nervousness at the airport, how nice he was being, everything.

Just wait till you get back home in a few weeks, he’s totally gonna hear it. Oh-hoHO he’s _soooo_  gonna hear it!

Danny starts driving to what you assume is your hotel and the ride is awkward and quiet. When you finally get there you quickly step out of the car with a rushed “thanks for the ride.” and close the door making your way to the trunk to only be reunited with her shortly as she opens it for you. You sigh and let her help you with your bag. You grab it and stomp your way to the front desk with her probably behind you.

“Room for Laura Hollis please.”

“Laura-”

You bunch up your face without turning. “What?”

“I know this isn’t exactly what you wanted and I know we haven’t talked in like almost a year but your dad was only doing what he thought was best for you.”

“If he’s trying to play match maker I swear to God.”

“No--” she steps next to you and you finally look at her. “He didn’t want you to be with a stranger out here so he asked me if i’d help you. You know, show you the ropes over here, take you wherever you need to be, help you out at the office.”

“He didn’t trust I’d do it on my own.”

“That’s not it.”

“No, it totally is! Daddy’s stupid little girl can’t take care of herself. Let’s get someone he trust to do it for her!”

“Laura..”

“It’s fine Danny, I’m just--I’m just tired from the flight and this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for this trip but it’s not your fault just--call me later, okay?”

She nods. “Okay, your dad knows my number so if you need anything let me know. I’ll come pick you up tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

“No biggie.”

Danny walks away and you make your way to your new home for a few weeks, closing the door with a groan.

It had to be her. It just _had_  to. Danny and you used to get along great at the office which lead to you having a crush on her, which lead to you two dating, which lead to breaking up and awkwardly having to see each other at the office, which lead to her asking for a transfer.

Little did you know it was to Europe. God you should have payed more attention. You should have read the names on all that paperwork dad gave you off the people starting up the company over here.

You should have known things couldn’t be so perfect. You should have known better.

You sigh as you drop onto your new bed and the extremely fluffy and soft white sheets.

This is gonna be a looooong trip.

-

It’s a slow and boring Saturday off work and you haven’t heard from Laura since she got on her plane yesterday. You wonder if she got there okay, or what she could be doing and you think you have her on your mind right now do to all the free time on your hands.

It’s just you and Will today, both of you chilling on the couch with your phones as music blasts from Will’s new speakers. He’s testing them out to add them to his sound company equipment.

Meanwhile you’re listening to the speakers while reading the critics on the speakers online when you receive an unexpected text.

Laura(4:27pm): okay so maaaan Europe has got some babes.

Carmilla(4:28pm): well obviously now that ur there ;)

Laura(4:28pm): really? even half way across the world u do this? U know i can’t come over right?

Carmilla(4:29pm): i’m just saying something that’s on my mind. there’s no need to come over because of it.

Laura(4:29pm): oh.

Laura(4:29pm): well uuuum thanks i guess

A few minutes pass and you’re not sure if Laura actually feels like texting you so you don’t reply. You chose to keep reading the critics instead but your phone vibrates again.

Laura(4:33pm): surprisingly enough, none so far are my type.

Laura(4:33pm): too many fashion-y/high heel babes.

Carmilla(4:34pm): so that’s not ur type? sounds hot to me.

Laura(4:34pm): no that’s not my type.

Your curiosity gets the best of you and you type in a quick question.

Carmilla(4:35pm): then what is this very specific type of urs?

Laura(4:35pm): pfff like ud need to know.

Carmilla(4:36pm): i do. for...research purposes of course.

Laura(4:36pm): suuuuure hahaha.

Laura(4:38pm): i’m into tough looking girls.

Laura(4:38pm): with particularly nice butts.

Laura(4:38pm): and amazing bone structure...so..yeah.

Carmilla(4:39pm): hmmm it seems i have all of those traits. what a coincidence. ;)

Laura(4:39pm): god ur unbearable.

Laura(4:39pm): but yes...ur totally my type. as if it wasn’t obvious before.

You smile to yourself when you read her last text.

Carmilla(4:40pm): u don’t need to be someone’s type to be with them sexually.

Laura(4:40pm): maybe not for u but for me it’s important.

Laura(4:41pm): i’m quite picky..

Carmilla(4:41pm): and i managed to pass the “picky” test with some simple text messages?

Laura(4:42pm): shut up.

Carmilla(4:42pm):  ;p

Laura(4:43pm): u seemed cool, chill and hot. i had to at least check.

Carmilla(4:43pm): and man am i glad that you did cupcake.

Laura(4:45pm): hahaha yeah. me too.

Laura(4:45pm): :B

Carmilla(4:46pm): so how's Europe? Are you on your own there?

Laura(4:46pm): actually no. Danny’s with me.

Carmilla(4:46pm): Danny? Who’s he?

Laura(4:47pm): SHEEE. is someone who works for my dad’s company over here.

Laura(4:47pm): also…”she” is my ex.

Carmilla(4:47pm): what?!?

Laura(4:48pm):yup.

Carmilla(4:48pm): she works for ur dad??

Laura(4:48pm): mhmm

Carmilla(4:48pm): in Europe??

Laura(4:48pm):yupp

Carmilla(4:50pm): and she’s keeping u company simply because of that oor…

Laura(4:50pm): idk. i mean i’m guessing she got assigned to help me out and all since we know each other so i dnt think it’s anything other than professional.

Carmilla(4:55pm): is she hot?

Laura(4:55pm): why would u want to know?

Carmilla(4:55pm): just curious.

She doesn’t answer you right away and you’re anxiously tapping your foot. You type a quick text again.

Carmilla(4:59pm): well, is she?

Laura(5:09pm): well yeah i guess. how is this relevant to the subject?

Laura(5:09pm): this is awkward, dnt make me eye her! she’ll get the wrong idea!

Carmilla(5:10pm): then stop staring, butt-inspector

Laura(5:10pm): WHY WOULD U CALL ME THAT

Laura(5:10pm): NOW I HAVE INSPECTED THE BOOTY.

Laura(5:10pm): oh god. i think she noticed. oh god this is awkward.

Carmilla(5:11pm):did she say something?

Carmilla(5:13pm): cupcake?

Carmilla(5:15pm): r u still staring? please stop staring. u’ll hurt ur eyes.

Carmilla(5:15pm): i mean i don’t think this chick could be that hot. she IS ur ex.

Carmilla(5:19pm): ??

You’re leaning your elbows on your knees now as you impatiently wait for her reply. Why do you feel nervous?

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

You get up from the couch and go to your room slamming the door shut and throwing your phone on your night table, dropping yourself on your bed with force.

Whatever, maybe you should just take a nap or something.

You toss and turn in your bed so much that you only manage to annoy yourself and groan before you hear your phone vibrate and immediately turn around and reach for it.

Laura(5:28pm): no she didn’t say anything that inappropriate.

Laura(5:28pm): i managed to save myself by complimenting her pants and asking where she got them.

Laura(5:28pm): she said she’d worn them all the time when we..went out so..you know. that got kinda awkward.

Laura(5:28pm):and what’s that supposed to mean? i can’t have hot exes?

Carmilla(5:29pm): u can have them, but actually having any is a whole other story.

Laura(5:29pm): O:

Laura(5:29pm): I’ll have u know i have dated plenty of very hot people.

Laura(5:29pm): i have good taste.

Carmilla(5:29pm): well that i obviously know, sweetheart. ;)

Laura(5:30pm): i said dated, not fucked. ;)

Carmilla(5:30pm): Ouch. well that burned a little more than expected.

Carmilla(5:30pm): i still don’t believe u tho.

Laura(5:31pm): why is that so hard to believe?! I’m cute! I can get hotties too!

Carmilla(5:31pm): prove it.

Laura(5:31pm): how??

Carmilla(5:32pm): show me this “Danny” person

Laura(5:32pm): fine!

Laura(5:35pm): -download image-

You eagerly open the image and clench your jaw when you see her, standing next to Laura as someone takes a picture of both of them in the sidewalk. It’s night time over there and they’re wearing coats. Laura’s cheeks are slightly rosey along with Danny’s and you can’t help but make yourself believe it’s from the cold and not because they’re together. Plus she IS attractive. She had every characteristic that Laura mentioned earlier. (besides the butt thing since you can’t really tell by the picture) and for some reason it feels unsettling.

Laura(5:35pm): there. told her it was for LaF and Perry.

Carmilla(5:37pm): She knows the ginger twins? Why do u surround urself with so many gingers??

Laura(5:38pm): it’s not on purpose, it just kinda happened.

Laura(5:38pm): so did i win? is she hot?

Laura(5:42pm): Carm?? I totally won didn’t I. HA! told u!

Carmilla(5:43pm): whatever. I’ve seen hotter.

You aggressively put your phone on your night stand and flop back in your bed.

Whatever! It’s just a girl. An ex. A hot, tall, redheaded ex.

Who cares.

-

Hours pass and you only failed at not thinking about Laura and Danny. You tried to keep your mind busy with some reading but it failed, then a shower but it didn’t do anything and finally you just tried to sleep it off but it was freaking impossible.

Your mind was just stuck on Laura and Danny.

Their past relationship. How well they must know each other. How well Danny must know Laura’s dad and the ginger twins. How much time they’re probably spending together right now.

You groan into your pillow for like the fourth time before getting up and storming out of your room.

This is stupid. Why are you so angry about this? It’s stupid and pointless and not in your business whatsoever.

So when Will says he’s going out and you’re joining you’re more than ready to go and spend some time out of this damn apartment that’s driving you mad today.

It’s just what you needed, a night out with your favorite bros Will and Kirsch. Will is buying you all shots as per usual but you’re taking them head on and quickly asking for another one. Kirsch is giving you a curious look as he talks to Will, first shot still in hand.

“Yo, you okay, Carmilla?” says Kirsch.

“Just _dandy._ ” you gesture to Will to get you another shot to which he shrugs and does.

“Did something happen with Laura or something?”

“Who’s Laura again?” asks William and you completely ignore him taking your second shot.

“Laura’s working in Europe, nothing’s happened. Nothing at all!”

“You sure? You seem upset?”

“She’s just--she’s busy!” you say trying to avoid the topic for some reason and then Will is giving you a look that you know too well. You don’t want Will to know anything. It’s just something you’d rather not talk to him about. That’s not the type of friendship you and him have.

“Wait you’re upset over some _girl_?!” says Will.

You shake your head and look away. “I’m not! Just--whatever.”

“You totally are bro, that’s fine. It happens.” says Kirsch and before you can interject Will is talking again.

“Fuck it, Sis! Let’s find you some babe for the night!” he looks behind you and points. “Look! She’s hot! plus she’s already giving you sex eyes.”

“Will--” you say and shake your head not sure of what you want to say.

“What?? You’ve never cared about that before.” he stares at you for a beat. “Are you guys like dating?”

“What? No!” you quickly reply.

“Then what’s the problem.” he says looking at you and then gesturing to the girl behind you.

“There is no problem.” you quickly reply.

“Alright. Cool.” he says subtly nodding before ordering more shots.

You see Kirsch giving you a concerned look with a twisted mouth and you roll your eyes taking the next shot. You can feel the alcohol running through you and your mind starting to have that hazed feeling.

You’re sick of this shit. What is everyone expecting of you? Can’t they just leave you alone to have fun and drink with friends?

And Laura.

She doesn’t text you all day and when she finally does it’s telling you about all these hot babes and her hot exes. You scoff.

You hold the shot near your face and stare back at Kirsch who looks like he doesn’t approve. He knows you better than that. He always does.

 _So_  you take the shot as you stare at him dead in the eye.

-

You wake up groaning as you feel your head throb. Your warm body stuck against your bed sheets and you quickly groan, tossing the sheets aside when your arms hits something.

You stiffen and stay completely still before feeling with your hand next to you.

_Oh no._

You open your eyes, the light not helping your headache, and you look at the person laying next to you.

_Naked._

You look down at yourself.

_Also naked._

And you remember the last time you woke up this way in your own bed the night you met Laura.

_This is noooot like last time at all._

You slide off of the bed and quickly pick up whatever clothes you can from the floor, tossing them on. You step outside your room and quietly shut the door before walking around the apartment. You find Will asleep on the couch still dressed and his mouth wide open.

You smack him awake.

“Ow! What the hell?!” he quickly jumps up squinting and looking at you.

“How could you let me get that drunk yesterday?! You’re a terrible friend.”

He raises his hands in defense. “Hey I tried to stop you but you seemed determined to prove me wrong and get the girl.”

You smack him again and he flinches.

“Ugh, you’re an asshole.” you point to your room. “Get her out of the house when she wakes up.”

“Fine.”

“ _Fine_.”

You grab your leather jacket that was laying around along with your boots and head out to Kirsch’s. You really don’t want to be home right now.

By the time you get there you already regret your choice in wardrobe. Some dirty shorts and a simple white tank top weren’t exactly the best option, but you were in a hurry to get out of there and at least you have your leather jacket and boots to somewhat keep you warmer.

You knock on the door and Kirsch pops up to open it shortly in his puppy boxers and a white tank top.

“Kirsch...”

“Well look who decided to show up hung over.” he says with a disappointed look as he holds the door open. “any regrets yet?”

Your mind wanders for a second and you keep quiet as an image of Laura smiling and looking at you with sleepy eyes after spending the night at your place one time and you don’t get why your stomach feels a bit sick all of a sudden.

Probably the hang over.

You look back up at Kirsch and find him staring at you as if feeling sorry for you.

“....None. Will you just let me in already and make me breakfast?!”

“You’re so demanding.”

“And you’re an idiot. Now let me in.” You push past him.

“Okaaaay miss mood and brood.”

You storm in and drop yourself on his couch with a heavy sigh. combing your hair back with your hand as you close your eyes and throw your head back.

Kirsch, as if knowing everything, brings you a glass of water and some pain killers. You give him a tight smile that he responds before turning back to the kitchen.

Kirsch always knows you. He always knows everything. And you’re so thankful for it, for him, for the fact that he doesn’t bring last night up because frankly you don’t remember all of it. And somehow you’re glad that you don’t. Simple bits and pieces that you can put together.

You drinking, Will nagging, you doing stupid shit to get him off your back, him and Kirsch telling you it’s okay they don’t mean it and that you can stop but you not listening. “I want to.” you said. “I can do whatever I want, whenever I want with WHOEVER I want.” you said. And the girl was there, perfect for the bait and the drunken mess that you had become.

_Beautiful._

You spent most of the day over at Kirsch’s eating and napping on his couch, and as the hours went by and you made your way back to your place you realized you didn’t hear from Laura today.

It’s weird to think that the situation with Laura was the same as this one. A drunken Carmilla, a random attractive stranger, sex with said stranger, waking up to said stranger naked and a bit confused, moving on with the aftermath of that decision.

It didn’t feel the same at all.

Laura felt different. Everything with her felt different from last night.

The talking, the kissing, the sex, the sleeping, _everything_.

Why did it feel so different?

As you sit in your bed you start thinking about last night, and the fact that when you were having messy drunk sex, you only remember not letting the other girl kiss you as much or touch you as much. You remember not wanting to cuddle once it was all over, not wanting her to have stayed over when you had woken up.

And all you can think of is how absolutely and completely different the case was with Laura that first night.  How different it is now.

You shake your head.

Whatever. It’s not a big deal.

You sigh and lean back to lay in your bed comfortably and alone this time. You get under the sheets and stuff your face in your own pillow. You open your eyes after awhile and look at your sheets. You bunch up your face.

You don’t want them to smell like the girl from last night.

What was her name by the way? ah fuck it.

You get up and rip the bed sheets off of the bed and go to take them to the laundry room, thinking to yourself how much you hate it when your bed sheets don’t smell the same.

 ****Usually though, they smell like Laura.

 ****-

 ****You wake up the next morning from your phone ringing. You grumpily and angrily grab your phone, squinting at the screen when it lights up.

Laura(6:07am): hey so guess where i just took a picture in.

Laura(6:09am): -download image-

Laura(6:09am): A POLICE BOX OMG.

Laura(6:09am): wait holy shit what time is it there?! oh crap i’m sorry! ignore this.

You feel your face relax immediately and you huff out a smile.

“That dork.”

You type in a reply and shut your eyes again while smiling.

Carmilla(6:10am): even when ur not here ur waking me up at ungodly hours.

Laura(6:11am): i said i was sorry! this whole timezone things keeps messing with me.

Carmilla(6:11am): u know, u dnt need an excuse, i know u just want to be the 1st thing i see when i wake up.

Laura(6:12am): how romantic of u.

Laura(6:12am): ur obviously not awake yet. go back to sleep u nerd.

Carmilla(6:13am): but i am awake!

You quickly turn your camera on and take a selfie. Making sure you can tell you’re half asleep and grumpy.

Carmilla(6:13am): -download image-

Carmilla(6:13am): see!

Laura(6:14am): *gasp* Did u change ur bed sheets???

You feel your stomach drop and you don’t really understand why.

Carmilla(6:15am): Yeah, i did some laundry yesterday.

Laura(6:15am): well it’s about time!

Laura(6:16am):i swear i saw the same chocolate stain there for like a whole month. lol

Carmilla(6:16am): u know me.

Carmilla(6:16am): im a dirty girl ;)

Laura(6:17am)ew, yes i know.

Laura(6:17am): please continue cleaning.

Laura(6:17am): especially ur shower.

Carmilla(6:18am): what for? 3 days away and ur making plans already sweetheart? ;)

Laura(6:18am): NO! THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Laura(6:18am): ugh ur so annoying i s2g.

Carmilla(6:19am): and yet u always come back to me. ;)

Laura(6:19am): -.-

Laura(6:19am): i might just stay in Europe for that. yup. farewell! i’m living the life without u!

Carmilla(6:20am): u dnt mean that.

She doesn’t reply and you get annoyed and grumpier. She doesn’t mean that. She can’t mean that.

You try and keep sleeping trying to fool yourself into thinking you’re not obviously aware of your phone and it not ringing.

“Ugh!”

You can’t take it. You grab your phone and send a quick text.

Carmilla(6:48am): u don’t, right?

Carmilla(6:50am): Laura?

 ****She doesn’t answer you and you feel asleep with the phone in your hand.

You finally wake up when your alarm is ringing in your hand and you quickly turn it off, getting out of bed. You shower and get dressed to quickly make your way to work trying not to focus on the fact that Laura never replied to your text. It’s only half way through your work shift that you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

Laura(4:00pm): no, i dont.

Carmilla(4:01pm): i knew u couldnt handle staying away from me.

Laura(4:03pm): shut up. I’m busy having a life without u here.

Carmilla(4:04pm): must be very difficult then.

Laura(4:05pm): nope. it’s totally easy.

Laura(4:05pm): well other than all this paperwork and meetings and organising that ive been doing ugh.

Carmilla(4:06pm): rough trip?

Laura(4:07pm): naah its nothing i cant handle.

Laura(4:07pm): plus it’s cool that i’m like growing as a business lady and all that, and danny’s here helping me with everything so it’s not that bad.

You literally glare at your phone after that text. She’s already with Danny again? What time is it even over there?

You may have googled the time different and it’s apparently around  8pm. So you get that she’s still working right now. But still, you just feel...weird. Something inside you feels weird.

Laura(4:10pm): hey i’ll call u later k? dinner plans.

“With Danny?” you say to yourself but decide not to ask her.

Why would you need to ask her anyway?

You send a quick reply instead.

Carmilla(4:12pm): yeah sure.

 ****You find your thoughts to be anywhere but at work. You’re just feeling weird today. You’re dozing off a lot at work and you didn’t even eat anything for dinner or call Kirsch like you usually do.

You didn’t bother to text Laura again either.

But then again, why should you?

You make your way up the stairs to your apartment and sigh when you finally make it to your door. You unlock it and step inside, shedding your clothes and throwing your keys on the kitchen island. You’re so weird today. You feel...bummed. Tired even. Like you’re not even really here at all.

You lazily walk to your futon and lay on it, your arm covering your eyes as you just lay there and wait.

_Wait?_

_Why are you waiting? What are you even doing Carmilla?_

You exhale through your nose and push yourself up from the futon, making your way to bed. You don’t care to grab your discarded clothes from the floor. You’ve never cared for that but you had been doing it for the past month.

You close your door and shut the light off, crawling into bed. Focussing on the sounds around your apartment like you always do.

The cars passing by on the street, the leaves rustling, some classical music coming from one of your neighbours probably and you close your eyes and adjust your head on your pillow.

Everything around you smells like clean sheets and it’s weird and uncomfortable for you because you like it when things just smell normal….when things just...smell like…

You furrow your brow, your eyes still closed and you don’t understand where your mind is trying to go because it feels so strange for some reason. Everything feels so different from before. From last year. From even a few months ago. And you don’t know why it does.

You hear your phone ringing and you open your eyes to see your room lighting up because of your phone screen. It keeps ringing and you turn over in bed to reach for it, looking at the screen to see Laura’s contact photo. The one where she’s flipping you off under a table at work and you can’t help but smile to yourself and stare at it before picking up.

“Hello?” you say softly.

“Hey. I didn’t wake you up or anything this time right?”

You chuckle. “No.”

She sighs. “thank god. Sorry it took so long. For me to call I mean. Dinner sucked and I had a bunch of new paperwork to do because of how everything turned out.”

“That bad huh?” you smile again and when she starts ranting like always you can’t make sense to why your chest feels so full.

“Horrible. You try being in a table with all men. _old men_. All of them questioning your age and experience and “oh miss are you sure you can handle this all on your own” I swear I almost flipped the table on them.”

“Sounds like an eventful night.”

“Did I mention how much I hate business dinners before? Because I _really_  hate business dinners.”

“You may have mentioned it once or twice. At least you had that tall chick to help you out right?”

“Danny? Yeah, she’s a good partner to have.” you physically flinch at that statement. “but i’d rather have my dad with me for work things. Danny’s great but I hate it when she tries and baby me or defend me as if I can’t do it on my own.” she sighs and you furrow your brow at the sound of her seeming frustrated.

“You alright there, cupcake?”

She’s quiet for a sec but she answers. “Yeeah, just...tired is all. As comfortable as this big hotel bed is, I can’t seem to sleep right in it.”

“Yeah...I know how you feel.” you do know. But at the same time why do you know at all? Why can you relate to how Laura’s struggling with sleep while being away?

You can hear her huffing air through her nose. “Is it weird that I’d much rather be in your smelly ol’ bed?”

You chuckle. “No. My bed is quite comfortable. Plus I’m usually in it so how can you stay away?” you say teasingly.

“Ha-ha. You’re so smooth, Karnstein.” she yawns and your mind quickly registers the timezone difference. You look at your phone and see that right now it must be 2am for her.

“Cupcake, you should go to sleep. You have work tomorrow right?”

“Yeeeah…”

There’s a quiet moment between the two of you before you talk again.

“Goodnight, Cupcake.” you say softly and you hear her sigh.

“...night, Carm.”

You hang up and stare at your phone. Her contact photo blinking before disappearing on your screen.

She called you even though it was so late there?

You stay staring at your phone for a while before finally placing it on your nightstand and turning over in your bed. You close your eyes again and this time, you don’t feel so weird. You don’t feel bummed at all. You just feel sleepy.

That and a warm feeling in your chest that you’re not awake enough to pay any mind to.

You drift to sleep easily for the first time in days, the last thing on your mind being how your bed doesn’t smell like Laura anymore.

You wish it did.

-

Tuesday hasn’t been that hectic at the office and really you have Danny to thank for that. Danny’s great and being stuck with her in this office all day hasn’t really been as awkward as you’d expected it to be.

Well, it hasn’t _been_  awkward since you got here (other than the never ending feeling that you need to keep a professional distance at all times) but...Danny’s been an all around total cool person and friend or well...co worker and you remember the way everything used to be before you ever dated. You’re glad things haven’t changed that much. (In a total friend way duh.)

You still haven’t talked to your dad since you found out he put you and Danny together here. Mostly because he’s always busy or you’re always busy but also because you’re still kinda mad about the whole thing. You do miss him more than ever though. You thought this would make you two get closer again not drift further apart. But then again drifting apart is probably part of the whole package once you’re a bunch of miles away.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Maybe you should have just said no and stayed back home.

You look up over your papers and see Danny standing in your office, fumbling with some papers of her own while her lips move reading something to herself. She looks really concentrated and you remember just how much of a hard worker she’s always been.

Hard worker and a hard helper.

You smile sadly to yourself as you keep staring. In a way, you’re glad you got to be reunited with her. It feels a bit refreshing and you’re actually really happy she’s the one helping you out here because this shit is something else.

She looks up from her papers and finds you staring so you give her a tight smile and she smiles back sincerely.

Yeah, it’s nice to have her back and see she’s doing well. Even if it’s a little awkward to work so close with your overprotective ex.

-

On Wednesday night while you and her work overtime at the office on your own, you don’t feel that uncomfortable anymore when it’s just you and her.

“Hey Hollis?”

You look up from the papers on your small desk. “Yeah?”

She licks her lips and looks down as she shifts in her seat on the opposite side of your desk. “I just...I wanted to say I’m sorry about everything.”

“What do you mean?”

She twist her lip to the side as she continues looking down searching for words. “You know...me worrying so much...ruining things between us for so long. I really don’t want the last thing between us to be this awkward stage of distance and resentment.”

You worry your lip and look down at your hands holding your papers. And the somewhat awkward silence between you too is pretty obvious. You know she’s waiting for you to say something back. “Yeah well…” you look up. “the past is the past I guess.” you give her a tight sad smile and she simply nods to herself.

“Yeah I know.” she runs a hand through her hair and sighs. “I just wish it didn’t make us so awkward. You’re great, Hollis….and I’m glad you’re here.”

You take a deep breath and exhale before answering sincerely. “I’m glad I’m here too.”

She gives you a tight smile and you return it for awhile before shaking your head and looking back down at your papers. “Sooo, what should we do with this guy?” you say while exhaling.

Danny leans over to see and tilts her head in a half shrug. “Bargain a bit. He likes his money but he likes a good long contract more.” You nod to yourself.

“I’ll email him later then to meet up.” she nods too and after a minute you put your papers down and look at Danny. “Hey, Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She smiles widely and chuckles. “Sure thing, Hollis.”

You smile back and nod. “Cool.” you pause. “Ok! Sooo! Let’s get something scheduled with him then!”

“Already done.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. Your dad wanted a dinner with the guy to be scheduled anyway, to keep appearances and stuff. So we can pitch him everything then.”

“Awesome. When’s the dinner then?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“TOMORROW NIGHT?!”

“Yup.”

“Okay.” you nod to yourself as you start looking at the mess of papers on your desk. “Let’s get everything ready to sell this shit then.”

-

After basically sleeping over at the office with Danny, you think you guys finally have everything set. Working over night with her was actually pretty nice and fun after that talk you had. And when the sun came up and you woke up with papers stuck to your face, Danny greeted you with some apples and a sandwich for breakfast. You’re a little surprised she actually got everything on the sandwich right, and you two simply enjoy each other’s company while finally eating after such a long night.

Danny drives you back to your hotel and checks to see if you’ve got everything you need before leaving telling you she’d pick you up tonight.

You drag yourself to your room and drop on your bed with a loud sigh and for once you fall asleep instantly.

You’re woken up by a knock on your hotel door and your head quickly shoots up in a daze. You stumble your way to the door and open it to find Danny all dressed with her arms crossed.

“Shit.” your eyes widen and you run back into your room and into the shower, leaving Danny to step inside.

“I figured you weren’t awake when you didn’t answer. Good thing I came by to check early.”

You shower as fast as you can and rush out in a towel, stiffening when you see that Danny’s sitting on your bed. She’s looking at her feet though so you quickly grab some underwear and clothes and head back to the bathroom. When you come out Danny’s got most of the paperwork in her bag and is handing you your heels which you quickly grab. Then she holds up your coat to help you put it on quickly and hands you your purse. You take a deep breath when you face her and fix up your coat.

“All set then.” Danny nods. “Okay. Let’s do this thing.”

You head out and keep scrunching up your fingers from your nerves getting the best of you. Danny notices in the elevator and grabs your shoulder making you look at her.

“ _Hey_. You’ll do fine.”

“I sure hope so.” you say shaking your head and huffing out some nervous air.

“I got your back, Hollis.”

You look back at her and give her a reassuring grin as the doors open. You head out to the car and on the drive there review everything one last time. You trust Danny and you sure as heck need to right now too. This is like a deal breaker for everything, you need to get it right. You need to show your dad you can do this.

The dinner is a bit awkward at first (and you nervously digging into the fish and chips isn't really a good sign either.) but luckily Danny’s amazing spokesman-ship skills got everyone settled and comfortable before the big shindig. You started pitching the whole idea and deal to Mr. Vordenberg all while Danny backing you up with whatever detail you didn’t have at the moment and by the end of the night it all works out. Mr. Vordenberg agrees to look over the contract when it’s done and see how both companies can work together while equally earning well.

You and Danny try and keep your cool while giving everyone their farewell and make your way to the back where Danny’s car is. Once you turn on the corner and see the parking lot you both start celebrating.

“ _Yes_! Danny! You are the man! No, better yet, the _woman_!”

“Thank you thank you, I try.” she dramatically bows and you both high five with a fit of laughter.

“Seriously, I’m so glad I got put with you for this whole thing. You’re great.”

“Yeah, we make a good team.” you put your arm lazily around her waist and look into the distance extending your other one.

“I can see it now! ‘Hollis and Lawrence, business super team! Hollence!”

“hahaha please don’t do that.” she says and lazily puts her arm over your shoulder as you walk to her car. “You know something, I think this calls for some celebration, you agree?”

“Heck yeah I do!” she moves away from you to open her door as you go around to open the passenger one. “Show me the way Miss Lawrence.” you say mocking a fancy tone.

“Why of course Miss Hollis, with pleasure.” she says doing the same and you both laugh.

Danny takes you to this super cool venue called KOKO and the music is great along with the sweet drinks she brings you. Apparently she knows the bartender along with some other girls who used to be Summers back home. You’re having a blast and honestly it all feels kind of nostalgic. Danny being in your life again just hanging out and laughing and you realize how much you missed the old Danny, not the Danny who wouldn’t let you drink or be on your own at the club for more than a few minutes.

She did eye you in a way you knew too well once you grabbed another drink for yourself but she didn’t comment on it thankfully. And you didn’t feel uncomfortable at all when she would lean in to speak to you because of all the loud music.

You didn’t feel awkward at all. Not even when you both started playfully flirting.

But then she leaned forward again and you thought it was to say something like before but it wasn’t. And you’re not sure what to do or how to feel when her lips are over yours.

So you take a step back and you think that maybe you had been pushing being okay with Danny all night. Maybe the excitement from earlier made you feel like it was okay to get close again but it was too soon.

It was clearly too soon for this kind of friendship. 

“Laura you’re-”

“I think It’s been a long night. I’m gonna-” you point behind you with your thumb and take another step back when Danny steps closer. “-go.” you turn around and quickly make your way through the crowd.

It was wrong.

Well it wasn’t wrong, you didn’t exactly hate it. How could you? Danny and you were close and you were really attracted to her before. That doesn’t just go away. But it just...didn’t feel right either.

You groan to yourself because you’re so confused right now. It’s been a long day, and there was alcohol involved and just--just a long stupid day.

“Laura! Hey Laura wait!” you turn around when you reach the sidewalk and you try and keep a safe distance from Danny. “Let me give you a ride.”

“Danny, you’re a little drunk so you shouldn’t drive yet. Don’t--” you shake your head and give her a tight smile. “--Don’t worry. I’ll take a cab.”

You walk away, not wanting to deal with this right now and you manage to find a cab to take you to your hotel.

You don’t really get why you feel bad about the whole thing because well..shit happens. And you shouldn’t have to feel this bad about it being this way but you do. Which is stupid because you are an independent woman. No relationship, totally single and allowed to mingle but...for some reason you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to end up kissing anyone. You don’t really want to be kissing anyone at all. At least anyone other than-

You straighten up with a confused look.

_Wait...why were you going there with this?_

**Y** ou shake your head. “no no no. Screw that thought.”

You sigh and a few minutes into the car ride you take out your cellphone and stare at Carmilla’s contact. You haven’t put a picture on it or anything because you’re not sure that would be wise nor okay. That would mean that you two are more than just “fuck buddies”. That would mean that you too are something different from that and after what happened a few weeks ago with that girl.

You sigh again and tuck your phone away.

The more distance you keep between her and you the better for your feelings.

Not that you have...feelings...just that you wouldn’t want to think something that just isn’t true again.

You probably don’t mean as much to Carmilla as you used to think you did. At least that’s what you’re trying to convince yourself, which is really not working that well.  

She has other things in mind, other girls and...and...well, things that aren’t you.

But she hasn’t been acting any different towards you, meanwhile you’re the total opposite. You were clearly avoiding her at first and then when you bumped into her and somehow got dragged into coming over, you weren’t your usual self with her.

Sure you’ve loosened up again because you’re trying really _really_ hard to just go with it like you were doing at first, but it’s nowhere near the same.

You don’t know if kissing her is okay so you stop yourself most of the time. You don’t know if staying over is too casual and she had clearly told you she didn’t like girls staying before so...there’s that. You’re just trying to keep the regular order of things when it comes to fuck buddies, because that’s what you actually are right?

Just fuck buddies?

You groan and slouch over when your cab suddenly comes to a stop. You pay the man and make your way to your room to finally just rest and forget about all this mess.

This mess that happened. This mess in your head. This mess in your life in general.

You slip off of your clothes and get in bed in your underwear by yourself. The bed feels so big and cold and it only reminds you of how you’ve felt the past weeks not sleeping with Carmilla.

You groan again and cover your whole body with the bed sheets.

This is all so stupid. She’s probably not even having these stupid thoughts or problems or whatever.

She’s probably not even thinking about you.

Something you haven’t managed to stop doing the whole time you’ve been here. And you’ve forced yourself not to text her over every stupid touristy thing, or whenever you’re bored at work, or when you see something or someone that reminds you of her and are dying to tell her about it.

Because that’s not what you are.

That’s not how you should be with her.

You shouldn’t even text or call her at all, being an impossible booty call at the moment.

But you can’t help it. You’ve grown attached to her and her stupid broodiness and lack of hygiene. Her snarky or inappropriate comments. Even just the warmth you feel at her apartment, nothing at all like this stupid beautiful cozy hotel room.

You feel your sleepiness taking over from such a long day and you try and push away the thoughts you get every night before bed. Those stupid thoughts that you just can’t keep away.

You can’t help but miss her.

-

The next day you haven’t been able to keep them away either. Friday’s here which means you’ve been here for a whole week and there’s another whole week to go. You sigh as you stack up some papers on your desk, getting ready for what’s still left to come. Danny walks in and she won’t look you in the eye, instead looking at the ground.

“Danny.”

“Uh-hey.”

“Hi.” you say squeezing your lips tightly together. She stands awkwardly by the door and you stare at her. “Uh, is there something you need?”

“Oh-no, um. I was just done with my lunch break and I thought..” she pauses and hesitates. “You know what, it-it was stupid. I’ll-I’ll just go.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Laura.” she says in a whining tone.

“It’s totally fine, I swear.”

She looks at you and steps closer, sitting on the chair opposite to your desk. “I know you’re not saying that as in me being here right now but...I still feel bad.”

“Danny...shit happens. I get it. Just--don’t let it happen again.”

“I know but I still want to apologize.” she raises her arms in front of her. “I swear I didn’t think that would happen at all between us. I know my place, Hollis. The alcohol just got the better of my mind. I’m sorry.”

“I know..”

there’s a long pause between you.

“I just..I really don’t want things to be awkward between us because of me doing something stupid. I’m seriously glad we’re talking again. Just talking is fine with me. Out here I don’t really know a lot of people yet and those I do aren’t that close to me yet. And it’s just-it was just really refreshing to have someone I do know and feel close to be around. And--I hate how it’s made things awkward between you and me again-”

“I don’t feel awkward.” you interject because it’s true. Right now you don’t.

“Really?”

“You have been honest with me since I got here and have done nothing but treat me with respect and help me. Sure it was a mild slip up but, you thought that was going to make me like you less?”

“Well, when you put it that way-” she gives you a tight smile and you return it.

“You’re awesome Danny and I like you, of course I do. I befriended you and dated you for a reason, and even though things didn’t work out I still think you’re pretty rad. Sure I was bitter for a bit but this trip has cleared all that up.” you squeeze her shoulder. “Seriously, it’s okay. I promise. I don’t want you to worry.”

“I don’t think you can stop me.”

You laugh at that and pat her on the back. “Okay, so let’s get to work.”

-

After getting dropped off from the office the next day, you’ve been driving yourself crazy with your thoughts.

You can’t take it anymore. You have to at least call her.

Sure maybe she doesn’t care or anything since she hasn’t tried texting or calling you instead but...you just..you can’t help it. You kind of really wanna hear from her.

So when you reach your room and drop yourself on your bed you stare at her contact for a full minute before working up the courage to press call.

It rings more than three times and you feel the disappointment start to build and take over.

Maybe she’s tired of you. Maybe you not being available for sex for so long got her bored of you.

You clench your jaw and feel a burn behind your eyes that you don’t quite get. You press the end call button.

_Maybe you were right._

-

You haven’t heard from Laura in over five days.

Maybe she’s just really busy over there. That’s probably why she hasn’t even texted you a dumb emoji or a picture of her working her ass off.

You’re sitting in your futon, head ducked and getting that weird feeling in your stomach again. It’s unsettling and strange and you don’t like it at all but you can’t get it to stop.

What if something happened? What if she isn’t okay? What if her and Danny are hitting it off so she doesn’t need you for future booty calls or company or anything at all?

The feeling in your stomach only gets worse and you shut your eyes, furrowing your brow, your hair curtaining your face from the stupid kitchen light. And all you can hear are the cars outside, and Will snoring in his room and your phone ringing-

Your eyes shoot open and you quickly stand up.

 ****_Your phone is ringing._

You look around the couch but it’s not there and you glance over at the kitchen and see nothing before finally realising the sound is coming from your room. You make a mad dash to your room almost tripping over some dirty pants on your bedroom floor when you reach out to snatch your phone.

It stops ringing in your hand and your smile drops.

Laura’s contact photo blinking in the screen, reading missed call.

Fuck, you didn’t make it.

You quickly call her back and anxiously stand in the middle of your room listening to the ringing continue until it stops.

“Hey!” you say a bit too excited and a smile is quickly plastered on your face again.

“Hey.” you hear her say and you could swear you can hear the smile on her own face.

“Sorry. I couldn’t find my phone.”

“It’s fine. I just guessed you’d probably be sleeping like always or something.” you hear her chuckle and the feeling in your stomach is long gone and replaced with another one.

“Nope. Just me lazing around the apartment without you.”

“You sure sound excited to hear from me.” she giggles again and you sit on your bed while smiling.

“Well, I have nothing better to listen to so your adorable little voice seems like a great thing to hear.” you tease.

“My voice is not adorable. Besides, it probably sounds groggy and dull right now.”

“You tired?”

“Exhausted.”

“Well then why call me? You should go get some sleep, cupcake.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

“Well...I don’t know..I just did. I needed something that’s less annoying than work but annoying enough to make me feel better.”

“Wow, that hurt.” She laughs at your reply and it’s soft and sleepy and so so sweet.

“Sorry. What are you doing lazing around anyway? Haven’t found any ladies to keep you busy?”

You furrow your brow. “No.” you say firmly and take a second to think. “The only girl I want keeping me busy at night right now is you.”

“Flirty even from miles and miles away I see.”

“Always.”

“Well...what about that girl you were with last time? She not worthy of your time?”

“What girl?”

“....You know…” you raise an eyebrow and wait for her to continue after a long pause. “That girl that was there that day I came by without saying anything. The topless one, remember?”

“Topless one?” you bunch up your face confused.

“God Carmilla I know you said you don’t remember the girls you’re with but come on.”

“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t been with any girl lately.” realization hits you and you remember the topless girl and Laura walking away awkwardly after seeing her. “Wait, no. I remember. That girl who was walking around the house that day.”

“...Yeah that one.”

You snort. “That girl was Will’s first victim upon his return, sweetheart. Nothing to do with me.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Mhm.”

“Well that’s--that’s unexpected.”

“Seems so.”

“...Soooo.” she drawls out.

“Soooo?” you imitate back.

“That means I could have totally come over that day and completely misread things.”

“Apparently.”

“You should have told me! I would have just stayed that day!”

“Well you didn’t seem to want to listen to me so I just let it be.”

“You’re an idiot.”

" _I'm_ an idiot? You’re the one who stormed out without even listening to me first.”

“I just...thought you were busy.”

“Well I wasn’t.”

“...Sorry.”

“It’s fine, whatever.” you try and change the subject. “So how come I haven’t heard from you in so long? You forget about me, cupcake?”

“Pff. Believe me, no.” you raise an eyebrow. “I um, I’ve just been really busy at work.”

“With Danny.” you interject.

“Yeah, I haven’t really had any free time lately. I’m kind of reaching my limit right now.”

“You okay, creampuff?”

“Yeah...I just really miss home right now. I miss--my...dad.”

“Well have you told him that?”

“No-not really. I haven’t really talked to anyone but you.”

“Oh….” you feel your chest get fuzzy. “So when are you coming back anyway?”

“One more week.”

“One more week?”

“Mhm.”

“Cool. Can’t wait.” your eyes widen when you realize what you said and you have no idea how those words managed to slip out.

She chuckles sweetly. “Yeah, me too.” she yawns.

“Go to sleep, cupcake. I bet your eyes are already closed.”

“How did you know..?” she says sleepily and adorably.

“I know you.” you can’t help but imagine she’s smiling on the other end, her eyes still shut.

“Yeah, you do. Way better than I thought apparently.” she sighs. “Night, Carm.”

“Goodnight.”

-

The next day you don’t hear from her again and you can’t help but wonder if you should be the one to reach out to her this time. She’s clearly busy over there, she probably doesn’t even have time to be reading your text messages or replying them.

Will wants to go out again tonight and he insist on dragging you along with him. “It’s Sunday, you don’t work.” he said trying to convince you to come but you didn’t want to.

Last time you went out with him things happened. Things that messed with your head in ways that you still don’t comprehend.

You don’t need any of that again.

Instead you chose to stay at home by yourself. And you slept through most of the night before Will was banging on the front door drunk saying he’d left his keys. He walked in and layed on the couch instead of his bed like he always does when he goes out. And you just make your way back into your room, shutting the door to not have to deal with his drunken snoring. You crawl into bed and it’s so quiet and cold and dark and you just can’t seem to get back to sleep.

The same person being on your mind like every night.

And you grab your phone from the nightstand to look through it, smiling at all the stupid pictures you have of Laura. Not paying attention to the fact that barely none of them are at all sexual. Just Laura being Laura, fooling around, eating, working, flipping you off, giving you annoyed looks. But you seem to find none of them bad pictures. She always looks good in them no matter what she’s doing or wearing. And when you reach the last picture she had sent you of her in a police box sticking her head out all excited, you wonder what she looks like right now.

You don’t think twice before texting her.

Carmilla(2:48am): hey, send me a cute picture.

Laura(2:49am): what for?

Carmilla(2:49am): just send me one.

Laura(2:50am): -download image-

You open the image and see that it’s a picture of her laying in bed making a goofy face and you legit laugh.

Carmilla(2:51am): perfect.

Laura(2:51am): I knew ud like it babe.

Carmilla(2:52am): u always know how to turn a girl on, dnt u?

Laura(2:52am): :B

Carmilla(2:53am): gnight creampuff.

You put your phone back on the night stand and start getting comfortable in bed again. After a few minutes of quietly trying to get to sleep, your phone lights up and you reach out to see what it is.

Laura(3:08am): -download image-

You open the image and literally gasp. Laura sent you a picture of her, hugging a pillow belly down in bed. The morning light coming from the side, a pure and beautiful grin on her lips. Her hair is messy and her shoulders are bare, showing some of those very familiar sun freckles and you can’t stop staring at the picture.

 ****_Can angels be seductive?_

Laura(3:09am): good morning :) bye.

You smile and roll on your side in bed, still staring at the new picture. And all you can really think is how actually beautiful Laura is. And she’s so simple too.

It’s great.

You make the picture her new contact photo and put your phone back on the nightstand, falling back to sleep with a smile stuck to your face.

 _She’s_ great.

 


	12. Pancake Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla finally see each other again and attitudes start changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for all my nerds from the Dick Clique. I left little secret inside jokes for ya'll. Specifically Liz, Mal and Jay. 
> 
> Also big shout out to @nat-bah for LITERALLY ALWAYS KNOWING THINGS. Her headcanons are always so close and some of them have been mixed in with the fic. ;) 
> 
> ENJOY! i think this one's long as heck so i'm so freaking sorry. Also sorry if it's got mistakes or w.e i wrote most of this like at 4 am this past week. lol.

 

 

> _Love: (noun)_
> 
> _indefinable_
> 
> * * *

 

“Just call her. Just do it. God, why am I struggling so much with this?”

You’re looking at your phone, continuing to walk around in circles in your room. You had been in the futon first zoning out, your leg jumping up and down as you kept thinking whether to call or not. But then Will noticed from the kitchen and called you out on it. You brushed it off and went to your room but now that you’re alone you can’t deny how stupid you’re being.

You texted last night. You shouldn’t be wanting to speak to her so badly, it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet. What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t get this sudden need to know what she’s doing, or at least if she would want to talk to you today at all.

Well why should she? You guys have talked a few times while she’s been away. It’s normal.

It’s absolutely been normal.

So why can’t you just do it? Why are you thinking about it so much? Why are you...nervous?

You just don’t want to be bothering her is all. She _has_  been very busy and all, why should you call her when she probably won’t even be able to talk?

You grunt and sit on your bed.

Fine. No call.

You look down at your phone in your hands and see her new picture from last night in her contact id. You bite your lip at the sight.

Maybe just a text.

You quickly open up your messages and type out a text to her, your thumb hesitantly hovering over the send button.

Carmilla(6:18pm): how’s ur day been going?

You press your lips tightly together as you look at the screen waiting. You almost jump when you see she replied.

Laura(6:19pm): it’s actually been pretty chill. (miraculously) just organizing some events and stuff for the near future. Although...i did get pooped on by a pigeon today.

“Ha!” you say as you smile at your phone. The image of a tiny furious Laura getting pooped on running through your mind.

Carmilla(6:19pm): lucky you.

Laura(6:20pm): how is that lucky?? i could feel the lady at the front desk laughing behind my back. Stupid Barbara and her stupid weird high fashion glasses!

Carmilla(6:20pm): i like this Barbara already. and idk, that’s what they say about getting poop on.

Laura(6:21pm): it was lumpy and multicolor ok. DO U NOT SEE THE PROBLEM?!

Laura(6:21pm): not. lucky. at all.

Carmilla(6:22pm): look on the brightside, u could just fire them. No one would laugh at u then.

Laura(6:22pm): Danny seems to not follow ur theory. She’s been laughing at me for the past five hours.

Carmilla(6:23pm): ur with Danny?

Laura(6:23pm): yeah. we’re finishing up on stuff before i head back.

Carmilla(6:24pm): back home?

Laura(6:24pm): Yup! well before i head back home home, like America home.

Laura(6:24pm): although technically also home as in “hotel room” home. I’m at Danny’s rn.

Carmilla(6:25pm): wait, why r u at Danny’s?

Laura(6:26pm): weeeell with all the poop, smelly shirt and constant laughing coworkers i didn’t feel like staying at the office.

Laura(6:26pm): and since we still had stuff to do Danny offered her place and lent me a shirt while mine’s in the wash. Sooo here i am!

“Isn’t it late over there??” you say to yourself.

So she’s at Danny’s. In the middle of the night. Wearing her clothes and God knows what else.

You clench your jaw.

This was stupid. You close the message and toss your phone on the nightstand, staying on your bed for a minute before standing up with a huff. You go to leave your room but stop at the door and end up turning around to grab your phone.

Carmilla(6:28pm): use protection.

You toss your phone back and leave your room, slightly slamming your door before getting a beer to chill with Will in the kitchen.

-

“What?” you whisper to yourself as you stare at Carmilla’s last text.

“Hey Laura! You want something to eat? I could order us some pizza.”

You turn around to look at Danny who’s refilling your glasses of water in the kitchen.

“Yeah sure.”

“Brownies on the side right?”

“You know me so well.”

She laughs in the kitchen and you turn back to your phone.

Laura(10:30pm): very funny.

You waited for a reply for a bit but it didn’t come. So you focussed on finish up with Danny and the pizza. (well, you tried to focus on that.)

 

 ****  
The next day you texted her first.

Laura(7:54pm): please tell me ur work day is less boring than mine.

Carmilla(7:57pm): if by boring u mean filled with minor caos do to the new guy continuing to fuck things up then no. Not boring at all. Way too eventful for my taste.

Laura(7:58pm): bad day huh? sounds exciting. tell me more!!

Carmilla(7:58pm): don’t u have things to do with Danny?

Laura(7:59pm): Danny’s getting me hot cocoa. Being the boss makes it easy to get things :B

Carmilla(7:59pm): yeah, sure.

Carmilla(7:59pm): i can’t talk rn, cupcake. Busy day.

Laura(8:00pm):  :( ok I’ll find another way to entertain myself.

You don’t know if it’s just you, but Carmilla seems kind of...off. Like dry. Like not giving you her usual snarky or sexual comments. Like she’s--

There’s a knock on your door and Barbara walks in.

“Miss. Hollis, there’s a call for you.”

“Oh. Thanks Barbara. I’ll take it in a sec.”

She nods and closes the door. You sigh and roll in your desk chair towards the phone. You should focus on work anyway, it’s probably nothing.

-

You had the next day off. Something you never knew you’d miss so much after so long. You spent most of it walking around town with Danny doing touristy things.

It isn’t until you’re finally back in your hotel room that you feel lonely. It’s just so empty and quiet and not...home-y like.

You sigh as you step out of the shower.

You’re home sick.

It was to be expected you guess. Being so far from home for almost two weeks already is so strange. Not even being able to see your dad at work sucks. Sure you hear his voice sometimes when he calls to check up on you and stuff but it only makes you miss spending time with him even more.

You walk around the hotel room in your underwear as you dry your hair with your towel. You look around and in a way you think things aren’t that different. You’re home and you’re alone, just like back at the house. Nothing’s really changed.

You sigh as you slip into bed, the fluffy sheets surrounding you in a comfortable warmth that makes you feel like you’re not alone.

In a way, it reminds you of the warmth you feel when you sleep in Carmilla’s bed.

You sigh again and nuzzle yourself into the soft pillows.

You shouldn’t be thinking about her bed.

After all, she doesn’t like girls staying over. She doesn’t like _you_  staying over.

At least that’s what you try and keep telling yourself.

-

When you wake up the next morning earlier than planned you couldn’t go back to sleep. You kept thinking about Carmilla and her dry text messages and how she could be getting tired of you or bored of you or all these other stupid thoughts that really you should know better.

She _has_  surprisingly kept in contact while you’ve been away.

You turn in bed and look out the window, daybreak not having started yet. And as you stare at the lighting start to change you reach for your phone on the bedside table.

You press call without thinking about it.

“Hello?” you hear her voice way raspier than usual.  Your eyes widen.

“Crap. Sorry, it’s late there right?”

You hear her sheets rustling before she answers. “Yeah.”

“I totally just woke you up didn’t I?” you say and you slouch in bed. Way to go Hollis.

“You did.” she says before clearing her throat. “So...what’s up?”

_I may or may not kind of miss you right now and it's probably stupid because you obviously don't miss me and I just woke up and I suck._

“Nothing. I just...totally forgot about the time difference again. But you’re usually awake anyway so..yeah.”

She chuckles and it’s sleepy and cute but raspy. “Well, I’m not a vampire, sweetheart. I _do_  sleep at night.”

“You did say I could call you whenever so, this is kinda your own fault.” you say and you grin when you hear her chuckle again.

“I did.” she states. “almost 3am though? Not exactly what I had in mind.”

“Soooorryyyyy.” you say in a somewhat whiney tone. “I can hang up.”

“...No...It’s fine.”

You feel some relief hearing that and turn to face the ceiling. “So, did I interrupt some wild kinky dream of yours or something?” you laugh a bit and she scoffs.

“You think I’d still be talking to you if you did?”

“Fair point. hahaha.”

“What about you? Can’t sleep?”

You chew on your lip thinking of what to say.

_Yeah I couldn't sleep earlier because I was thinking of you and when I woke up the thoughts weren't really gone._

“Yeah...I’m supposed to get up soon anyway but I couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s too quiet in here.”

“Don’t like the quiet?”

You shrug. “I mean I do sometimes but, it just...it reminds me of how quiet my house is most of the time.”

She goes quiet and the irony in her sudden silence with the topic makes you nervous.

“My place isn’t that quiet.” she says finally. “But I like it that way. Listening to the sounds of the city helps me sleep at night.”

Well that’s something you didn’t really know.

You tilt your head and frown. “I guess that makes sense. You being a sound engineer and all.”

“Well yeah but…” she pauses and you almost think she isn’t going to finish that thought. “...I mostly like it because it makes me feel like I’m not alone. It’s kind of...a safe feeling.” she huffs out a breath. “I don’t know.”

“No I think I get it. It’s nice. I wish I had something like that to keep me from feeling homesick.” you sigh and look out the window again. The daylight starting to make it’s way through the streets and buildings. And you don’t feel nervous anymore by how quiet Carmilla is again.

“Well, you’ve got my phone number, right? You could just listen to me whenever that happens.”

That catches you by surprise, especially the way her sleepy tone sounds so genuine and gentle. “You’d let me do that?”

“Of course.”

You smile against the pillow. “Sure I wouldn’t be taking up all your free time with my annoying rants and Doctor Who references?” you giggle and she takes a while to reply.

“I wouldn’t mind.” she finally says and your giggling subsides into silence again.

You quietly snuggle deeper into bed not sure what to say. But then she says something that you hadn’t expected at all from her. And the way her voice sounds so small and low and sleepy just makes it mean all the more to you.

 

 ****  
“I miss you…”

Suddenly the quiet in your hotel room was all you could hear, along with the quiet happening on the other side of the phone as if waiting for your reply. And you didn’t feel as insecure about everything with her anymore.

She isn’t tired of you. She misses you.

“I’ll be back soon…” you finally manage to reply and all she responds is with a hum that sounded more like a grumble. “You’re falling asleep.” you state more as a fact than a question.

You hear her taking a steady breath, proving your point which makes you break into a smile. “Maybe.”

“Go to sleep, Carm.”

Another steady breath and then a pause. “Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye, Cupcake..”

-

Carmilla(5:49pm): so when’s ur flight again?

Laura(5:49pm): tomorroooooow. i’d be back by night time.

Carmilla(5:49pm): u ready for the terrible long flight this time?

Laura(5:50pm): oh i am MORE than ready! I even bought one of those weird things that go around ur neck. Not going through that again.

Laura(5:50pm): i still have to get up early for work though. last day and all that.

Laura(5:50pm): which means i should probably finish packing later..

Carmilla(5:51pm): u haven’t packed?

Laura(5:51pm): i mean i haaave. i just haven’t finished. I dnt wanna pack every little thing to just take them out again in the morning.

Laura(5:51pm): i’ll just get up earlier than usual...or well...try to.

Carmilla(5:52pm): want me to make sure u wake up?

Laura(5:52pm): u’d do that?? pleeeeaseee yes!

Carmilla(5:52pm): ok, cutie ;) u owe me when u get back then.

Laura(5:53pm): oh do i now?

Carmilla(5:53pm): mhmm come to think of it u owe me quite a lot.

Carmilla(5:54pm): leaving me without my favorite booty call.

Laura(5:55pm): :B sorry.

Laura(5:55pm): i’ll make it up to u.

Carmilla(5:55pm): hmmm looking forward to it then ;)

“Carmilla we need you to check the cables again.”

You turn around to look at Frank by the door. His face as un amused as always. You throw your head back in the chair with a groan.

“You have GOT to be kidding me.”

He sighs. “Hate to break it to ya.”

“Burt?” you tilt your head and glance at him. He nods and you roll your eyes. “ _Fuckin’_ Burt.” you push yourself off your chair and tuck your phone in your pocket. “I swear to God that guy’s got a death wish.”

You walk past Frank as he laughs at you and pats your back. “Go get em Karnstein.”

You flip Frank off as you make your way down the hallway and he only laughs harder at you. “BUUUUUUUURT!” you yell out and hear a nervous “oh jesus.” come from a few doors down.

Seriously, how many times can one guy fuck up at his job? How is he still working here?

Interrupting you and your texting.

You scoff.

Can’t even talk to Laura for a few minutes without someone coming in to bust your balls.

You try and push back a smile at the thought that Laura will be back tomorrow comes into mind.

-

You shut your door and unbutton your pants, kicking them off with a sigh. You had been keeping yourself up with Will and Kirsch playing some video games and drinking beer. Typical bro’s night and all that nonsense. But once the clock hit 1am you were rushing back home on your own. Will didn’t want to leave yet and thank God for Kirsch keeping him busy with video games so he wouldn’t start asking you questions that you’re not sure you can answer.

Like why you’re so damn giddy over finally getting to call Laura and talk to her again. You technically did talk to her last night but you were half asleep.

You take off your cuffs and throw them aside before getting into bed with your phone in hand. You stare at the phone screen, looking at the time and counting the four hour different for the fifth time just to make sure.

Maybe ten more minutes.

You entertain yourself by scrolling through your old texts and smile at your previous flirting with Laura today. Just one more day and she’ll be back in town. One more day.

You notice it’s almost 2am now and go to dial Laura’s number. You wait as it rings a few times.

“mmmm Hello?”

You smile at the sound of her drowsy voice. “Good morning, sundance. How the tables have turned.” She groans on the other side and your smile only widens. “How does it feel to be woken up at such an ungodly hour?”

“Terrible.” she let’s out, and the fact that her voice still has some of it’s usual adorable tone makes you huff out a laugh.

“Well wake up. You have things to do remember? Like me for instance once you get back.”

“nnnnnng.” she groans and you oddly found it more sexual than it should have been. “I’m up, I’m up.” she says with a huff at the end.

“Doesn’t sound like you are to me.”

She whines and you chuckle. “Just gimme a minute.”

“Okay.” you say and you lay down facing the ceiling, tapping your fingers on your stomach as you wait in silence. You can hear Laura’s steady breathing and after each breath you struggle more and more to keep yourself from smiling. “Minute’s up, cupcake.”

Another whine and you smile wider than ever. “Alright alrightttt. I’m up.”

“Mhm.” You hear what you think is her stretching in bed and she let’s out a moan that sends shivers down your body. “Ugh, Cupcake…don’t do that.”

“Do what?” she asks innocently and you can hear the fact that she’s still stretching in her voice. You lick your lips.

“Make those sounds when I’m not there to do anything about it.”

“Mmmm..” she grumbles in response. “..Sorry hehe.”

“Ugh...please stop.” you close your eyes and bite your lip.

“Why?” she asks innocently but you can see right through her. “Afraid you’ll get turned on?”

“Shut up.” she giggles.

“Where are you anyway?It sounds quiet. Are you alone? Or do you have to hide your urges and cross your legs in public because of me?” she giggles again.

“You’re torturing me cupcake.” you sigh longingly. Why does she have to be so far away right now? “Anyway, I’m alone in my room right now.”

“....So am I.”

It gets quiet and you open your eyes again before turning over in your bed. “So you’re alone?”

“Mhm..”

“In bed?”

“...yeah.”

“Wearing God knows what to sleep?”

“Well...I mean I don’t think I can go back to sleep anymore but yeah.”

Your eyebrows twitch up at that and you smirk. “Oh?”

“Don’t even, Carm.”

“Hmmm you sure I’m the one having urges here?”

“Well-yeah! You are though.”

“Hmmm you don’t know what I am and what I’m not right now.”

“Well...well...maybe.”

You chuckle and have a thought make its way in your head. “Hold on.” You let go of your phone and take off your shirt before grabbing your phone again and taking a selfie in your bra. Your smirk widens. “Check your messages.”

“What?”

“Just check.” You hear her fumbling with her phone before going quiet. You try and listen in but no sound is coming from her and that’s more than enough to tell you what you wanted to know. “You still staring, Cupcake?”

“What?!--No--I’m uh I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Uuuuuuh...abouuuuut--”

“About me?” you asks seductively. it goes quiet again before you hear her clearing her throat. You smirk widens again.

“M...maybe..”

“Hmmm interesting.” You hear her struggling on the other side and you decide to take another selfie, this one obviously less subtle as to what you’re getting at. You send it to her and hear her fumbling with her phone again.

“Oh my god.” you laugh loudly. “Why would you send me that? That’s totally unfair just woah.”

“I’ve sent you pictures before. Don’t you remember how we met, cupcake?”

“Of course I remember! How could i forge--umm….” you quirk an eyebrow.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Shut up for a second.” You laugh again and wait for her to talk. You hear your notification sound go off and you stare at your phone. “There!”

You quickly connect the dots and rush to your text messages. You click download.

You take in a deep breath when you see the picture.

Laura’s resting on her side, one arm bent so that her hand rests under her face, her wild messy light colored hair combed to one side as it drapes over her pillow, the white fluffy bed sheets covering her legs but keeping her full back uncovered, the freckles on her shoulders once again clear to see as her back is completely bare.

And then there’s that tight cute shy smile she has sometimes. Like the one she had when you first met, her cheeks a bit rosey and her eyes clearly not sleepy anymore.

“You still there?” You hear from a distance and you realize it’s Laura on your phone. You snap back to reality and place the phone against your ear.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“You literally zoned out.” she giggles and your cheeks start to feel warm.

“Well how was I not to? Did you see that picture you sent me? It’s...you’re very beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you.” You feel your cheeks burn even more and you chew on your lip. You hear her sigh. “That was corny, my bad.”

You chuckle and it goes quiet again. “Send me another one.”

“Another one?”

“Yeah, you said pic for pic right? Send me another one.”

“That was months ago.”

“Rules don’t change, cutie.” you smirk and hear her groan.

“Fine.”

After about a minute your phone chimes again and you quickly check it. You laugh. She’s got her typical bunched up face as she holds herself up on her elbows, flipping you off. You can see her bare chest in between her arms and the sight of those familiar freckles near her breast makes you curl your toes and cross your legs.

Shit.

“That good enough for ya?” you hear her say and give her a pointed look even though she can’t see you.

“Sure is.”

“Good. Now where’s mine?” she pauses. “uh...pic for pic remember?”

You smirk. So she wants to play this game then? Fine by you.

You take your bra off and toss it aside and lay face up. You mess up your hair with your hand and take a picture from above your head, your breast clearly visible. You stare at it before sending it to her just to see if you approve of it. You send it and wait to hear her reacting.

She fumbles with her phone before you hear a gasp and you smirk satisfied with your work. “That’s um..you’re um..” she pauses. “Wow.”

You bite your lip while still smirking and brush your fingers over your stomach slowly.

God what is this girl doing to you?

-

Okay, so, wow. She’s being hot and you’re very very turned on at this point and you’ve never really done this so it’s new and a bit scary or intimidating but it’s just Carmilla and you literally met through sexting.

Or well...compared to this, semi-sexting.

But you’ve never done legit nudes or anything, not even with Danny back in the day.

But Holy Hufflepuff do you want to right now.

You sit up in your bed and turn your camera on, trying to find what angle to use.

No. Nope. Not that one either. Ugh how is this so hard? Why is she so good at this?!

You sigh and decide to just go for a somewhat top side angle. You snap the picture and stare at it first.

Your hair is draping over one shoulder, your cheeks clearly burning as you give the camera a shy side glance while biting your lip. Your bare chest totally visible along with your toned stomach and baby blue undies.

You take a deep breath before finally sending it to her.

You hear her inhale deeply and stay quiet for a while. You furrow your brow wondering what she thought about the picture when she finally answers.

“Fuck.”

You grin widely. “too much?”

“No, it’s perfect.” she quickly says and it makes you blush even harder and press your face against the pillow.

“Yeah well...yours is _WAY_ better.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Are you kidding? Did you not see it?? You are literally being so hot in it. Like...your boobs look so...um...so..”

“Good?”

“Amazing.”

She laughs at that. “Thanks.” she pauses. “Yours look as perfect as ever.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” she grumbles and the way her voice can sound so sultry even through the phone makes you cross your legs tightly. God you’re so turned on. “God I want to just...feel you here already.”

“Miss me that much huh?”

“Right now I can’t think of anything else. You made that extremely difficult.”

“Did I now?” you ask teasingly and she groans.

“You have no idea.” she inhales deeply and exhales slowly. “I just want your hands all over me already.”

“Believe me the feeling’s mutual right now.”

“You miss my touch?”

“So bad.”

You swear you can just imagine her smirk right now. “Well if I could, I’d be touching you for sure right now.” she pauses. “If I could.”

“I really wish you could.”

“Touch you?”

“Yeah.”

“Where would you want me to be touching you right now?...If I could.”

“That is the dumbest question I’ve ever heard.”

“Just tell me. I really want to know right now.”

You sigh and let your mind wander. “You know there’s this thing you do…”

“Which?”

“You-” you click your tongue trying to find the way to say this. “--whenever we’re having sex, you do this thing, where you tug the roots by my neck...and then let your hand kind of...glide down from there.” you pause, closing your eyes. The image of her actions clear in your mind. “and you just...glide your hand down my stomach and like tease me only passing your hand over my underwear once...and then glide your fingertips to my lower back to tug me closer.” you sigh deeply at the memory. “Yeah...that.”

You hear her moan softly on the other side of the phone and quickly feel it hit your core. “I didn’t know you could take in such details, cupcake.”

You raise your eyebrows and tilt your head, eyes still closed. “Believe me. I pay attention to a lot of things in bed.” you hear her breath slightly against the phone and squeeze your lips together.

You’d recognize that breathing pattern anywhere.

“What are you doing?” you finally ask and you hear her still on the other side.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“You know what I think you’re doing.”

“Well since you’re not here to do it for me, I might as well do it myself, cutie.”

“That’s so not fair.”

“What’s not fair is how much I want to be touching you right now and how I can’t fucking do anything about it but this.”

“Touch yourself?” you ask directly this time.

“Mhm.”

You whine and throw your head back against the pillows. “This sucks.”

“I’m having fun.”

“I’m sure you are.”

“Then have some fun with me.”

You open your eyes at that and bite your lip. You look out the window and see that it’s practically morning already.

“Cupcake?” you turn your attention back to your phone and sigh harshly.

You have a little time.

“Carm?”

“Yeah?”

Your hand starts to caress up and down your stomach. “I hate you.” you say and you’re glad she knows you don’t mean it by how she laughs on the other end.

“Sure you do.”

“If you tell anyone about this I swear.” your hand makes its way over your underwear and you tease yourself.

“Who would I tell?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want people to think I’m a sexualy frustrated teenager.”

“I’m making you feel like a sexualy frustrated teenager?”

You groan. “you have no idea.”

She moans into the phone. “Show me then.”

Your breath catches when you put more pressure on your fingers over your underwear and you start to slowly move your hips to counter your fingers. You let out a hum as a reply to her but it comes out already quite sexual and she huffs into the phone.

“Fuck, Cupcake.”

“Shut up.” you feel how wet you are through your underwear and exhale hard into the phone.

As you continue touching yourself you hear Carmilla’s moans every once in awhile on the other side and when she says “God I wish you were fucking me right now.” You groan into the phone.

“This is torture. Why would anyone do this?” you ask as you finally start tucking your hand under your underwear, eyes tightly shut.

“Because it’s hot and very very arousing.” she says a bit out of breath.

You whine as you finally let your finger slide between your very wet folds. “Carm..”

“Ugh. Please say that again.”

“How am I so horny from you when I’m so many miles away?” you say as you continue touching yourself slowly, your hips sensually moving to the rhythm.

“Because you can hear me.” she breaths against the phone again. “You can hear how badly I want you right now.”

“Ugh, fuck.” you reply and you start rolling circles around your clit.

“Fuck, Laura. I could just imagine how wet you are.” You groan because it’s true. You’re so freaking wet right now. “Ugh. And you breathing like that against my ear...it’s killing me.”

“Carm..” you let out in a whine and she moans.

“Fuck, Laura...I really want you right now. I’m desperate.” she says as she pants and you start breathing harder as your finger starts going faster against your clit.

“Carm, I can’t--fuck.” you moan and you can feel how close you are.

“Fuck...do that again.” she says and her voice is slightly higher than before as she lets out small whimpers.

You start breathing heavily against the phone and your hips are struggling to move to your pace. You moan out her name before finally feeling yourself go and you shoot your head back. Your phone falling beside you as your body twitched and you were panting heavily.

“Fuck.” you say to your empty room and breath for a few seconds before searching for your phone and putting it against your ear again. “Carm?” All you hear is her catching her breath and you you let yourself lay back lazily in your bed satisfied, a dorky grin on your face while your eyes are shut. She finally talks after a while.

“That was unexpected.”

You genuinely laugh. “Yeah, you could say that again.”

You hear someone knock on the wall from next door. “Keep it down in there! It’s not even 7am!”

You stifle a laugh because you didn’t realize you were being loud. You whisper into the phone. “My hotel neighbors don’t seem happy about my morning activities.”

“Too bad.” she says and you laugh. You close your eyes and lay in bed like that for a bit just listening to yours and Carmilla’s breathing evening out until you hear her sigh.

“Thanks for the company Carm.”

“My pleasure.” you could just imagine the smirk on her face and you end up smiling too.

“Mine too.” you say with a giggle before it going quiet between you two again.

You hear your phone receiving a text and open your eyes excited thinking it was Carmilla again but it was Danny reminding you she’s picking you up soon.

“Ugh...I have to go, Carm. Gotta shower before work and pack and all that.”

“Okay.” she calmly replies.

“I’ll uh..I should probably delete those pictures.”

She chuckles and you hear some rustling on the other side. “You won’t delete them.” she says lowering her voice. “You’re going to keep them to have something to stare at while you’re over there.” she says and it’s somewhat demanding and hot.

“That’s--I uh..um.”

She chuckles again. “At least till you can see the real thing right?” she pauses. “Keep them, Cupcake. They were for you anyway.”

“....Okay...thanks.”

“You’re very welcome.”

You bite your lip while smiling. God do you want to be back already. “Bye, Carm.”

“Bye, Cupcake.”

You finally hang up and sigh to yourself and your quiet hotel room. After just laying there in bed for a few minutes you finally force yourself out of bed to go shower and get ready. The shower is nice and warm and you haven’t felt this relaxed in your stay here until today. You smile in the shower and shake your head.

With a wake up call like that, how could any morning be bad?

-

You’re all smiles today at work, especially whenever you’re alone in the office. You curiously look over all your pictures biting your lip as you get closer to the most recent ones. When Danny walks in with some documents you jump almost dropping your phone.

“Hey Laura, I managed to score us a--wow, jumpy much?” She gives you a curious look but laughs.

“What? No, I was just..” you start replying nervously.

“Relax dork, I’m only teasing.” she walks closer. “So, these papers--”

You were doing your best to listen to Danny and you don’t pay enough attention to see she stopped and is staring at you with a side smile. She totally noticed.

“You’re dozing off. And smiling, like a lot of smiling.” You quickly try and deny but she interrupts. “What’s got you like this? Some girl? You dating someone, Hollis?” she says giving you a pointed look while her smile widens. “I don’t mean it in a prying way by the way, just curious. You look happy. It’s a good look on you Hollis.”

You giggle a bit embarrassed. “Thanks, Danny.” you smile at each other and Danny goes back to explaining things efficiently not making you answer her question which you’re grateful for.

Because...you don’t really know how to answer it anymore.

 ****You’re not _dating_ anyone...but you’re constantly seeing someone. Constantly talking, constantly flirting, constantly fucking, keeping in contact even as you’re super far away.

That’s something right?

You mentally push the whole thought away. You really don’t want to be thinking about stuff like this again. Or well..over thinking things again. You’ve decided to just go with it. Might as well just enjoy the ride.

Wherever the ride will take you.

-

Once you hear her hang up you sigh and drop your phone besides you in bed.

Freaking adorable dork.

You smile to yourself, eyes closed when you hear the front door of the apartment open. Will must have just gotten back. Perfect timing. You can hear him stumbling to his room and shutting the door.

It’s nice to have someone around, even if it is dumb William and even if he’s just your housemate. Knowing someone else is home is oddly reassuring. You can’t imagine how Laura must have felt all these days in an empty hotel room.

You smile again.

Well at least she’ll be back later today.

Finally.

 

You easily fall asleep, not thinking too hard as to why Laura’s on your mind the whole time.

A few hours later when you wake up you find that time is going by super fucking slowly today. And maybe it’s just because it’s Saturday and you’re off work like always, but you just can’t seem to find anything to do long enough to waste time.

You could go over to Kirsch’s place, or go out to eat with him and Will or something. Or watch another movie on your laptop on the couch by yourself.

You sigh and shut your laptop. Nah fuck that.

Why is it so hard to concentrate on anything today? You just can’t stop staring at the time every few minutes and it’s driving you nuts how slowly the day is going.

You stand from the futon with a groan and head to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. You shut the fridge and lean your back on the kitchen counter as you take a sip and look at your apartment.

It’s a mess.

You smack your lips before taking another sip and with your eyes you follow every pile of dirty clothes or trash that’s lying around the apartment.

“Fuck it.” you finally say and walk up to Will’s speakers, blasting on some Circle Jerks “Wild In The Streets”. You start bobbing your head as you look around your apartment again.

A little cleaning wouldn’t hurt anyone. It’s just to waste some time anyway, no real reason behind it.

You end up washing the dishes, taking out the laundry (even Will’s), scrubbed the gunk out of your shower that Laura’s always pointing out, taking out all the trash and empty beer bottles, you would broom or something but that’s pushing it so you just lazily pass a Swiffer around the apartment.

You drop yourself down on the futon again once you’re done. You can’t believe you did that much cleaning. You sigh tired and look at the time on your phone.

7pm

You groan and toss your head back. “You have got to be kidding me.”

-

Laura(10:52pm): hey

You balance yourself on your elbows as you read the long awaited text message in bed.

Carmilla(10:52pm): hey

Laura(10:52pm): i don’t understand time anymore.

You laugh.

Carmilla(10:53pm): u finally back in town?

Laura(10:53pm): yeah. my dad picked me up like 30 minutes ago. we’re still driving back and like i don’t get how it’s still night time. I’m so lost.

Laura(10:53pm): i got on a plane like six hours ago how is it still dark out?!?

Carmilla(10:54pm): that’s just the way the world works, cutie.

Laura(10:58pm): oh don’t get all deep on me. I’m barely awake.

Laura(10:58pm): I’m trying to keep myself up so dad won’t drive alone but i’m failing terribly. I wanna nap so badly.

Carmilla(10:59pm): just let him play his Beyoncé or something.

Laura(11:00pm): oh believe me he’s gonna. He’s getting his CD’s out to choose from.

Laura(11:00pm): i g2g. he’s talking to me/getting ready to karaoke in the car again. Wish me luck. t.t

Carmilla(11:01pm): text me later?

Laura(11:05pm): of course. :)

You sigh and lay belly up in your bed.

Just a few more minutes.

-

Laura(12:08am): hey i’m home

Carmilla(12:09am): is that an invitation? ;)

Laura(12:09am): pfff no.

Laura(12:09am): i just finished taking my suitcase upstairs. God i missed my bed.

Carmilla(12:09am): u should come to my bed instead.

Your phone starts ringing in your hand and Laura’s contact photo shows up. You eagerly pick it up.

“Hey.”

“Hey…..sooooo-” she drags out. “ as much as i’d love to go and feel you up all night, i’m really tired...like super tired..I don’t think i’d make it through the first 10 minutes. I’d probably fall asleep on you. Like i’m not kidding.”

You laugh and shake your head and you hear her yawn on the other side of the call.

“I think I need some time to recover first. Jet lag is a pain in the butt.”

“I think I can hear you pouting through the phone, creampuff.” you smile wider at her grunting grumpily.

“Shut up.” she starts speaking through a yawn this time. “Plus my dad’s already got me booked all day tomorrow to update everyone on stuff.” she groans. “I’m starting to think he’s way more of a pain in the butt than the jet lag.”

You chuckle. “Seems you don’t get to catch a break yet.”

“Yeaaah.” she sighs.

“Get some sleep, sweetheart. Call me when you’re free again.”

“Okay.” she replies sleepily. “Goodnight, Carm.”

“Gnight.”

You hang up and it’s weird to know that she’s closer now. You could kind of even feel it even if it was just through the phone.

How that makes sense, you may never know.

And the fact that you fall asleep all smiles that night choosing not to ask yourself why, is something you’re not sure you want to know either.

-

You woke up Sunday morning with some dry drool in the corner of your mouth, clearly having slept like a log from how tired you were. That and your phone still in your hand after last night’s phone call with Carmilla.

You may have bailed on her last night do to your stupid jet lag, and you may have been busy all morning filling everyone in in a meeting. But once you were done, you flew out of that building paying no attention to your co workers who wanted to ask more questions once the meeting was finally done.

You gave them the damn papers, let ‘em read.

You hop in a cab and send Carmilla a quick text before going up the stairs to her place. (Just in case last times thing doesn’t happen again..) You know she doesn’t work on the weekends so you assume she’s at her place.

Laura(4:47pm): please tell me ur home.

Carmilla(4:47pm): i’m home.

Laura(4:48pm): open the door.

By the time you send that last text while making your way up the final steps you hear her run up to the door and open it immediately. She was about to stick her head out of the apartment when you finally reached the door, facing her. You stare at each other, wide smiles on your faces and god have you missed that stupid smirk of hers.

“He-” she starts but you lunge forward and start kissing her roughly. You push her inside the apartment and close the door behind you. Carmilla seems surprised to see you taking so much action so soon and she trips a bit as she fumbles back guiding you to her bedroom. You start trying to unbutton and unzip your pants, going to lift Carmilla’s shirt when you hear Will walk out of his room.

You awkwardly hide your face in Carm’s neck.

“Oops.”

“Ugh, go mind your business William.” Carmilla says while shooing him back into his room. You can hear some girl giggling and talking from inside his room.

“I’m getting...refreshments. Don’t mind me.” he says heading to the kitchen with a giant smirk on his face.

Carmilla groans and opens her mouth to say something but you tug her towards her bedroom and she quickly turns her attention to you. Once you’re through the doorway you close it behind her and step closer to her until her back is against the door, effectively pinning her against it. Your body pressing against hers tightly as you bite your lip and reach to lock the door. She smirks once she hears the click of the lock and leans back in to kiss you.

You tug her by the waistband of her pants towards the bed. Her hands sneaking under your shirt and the way her nails feel lightly scratching your lower back is amazing. She starts lifting your shirt up and you help her pull it over your head and do the same to her shirt, discarding it somewhere in her room. You pull down your own pants and push Carmilla into her bed before kicking your pants off and joining her. You climb on top of her and let your hands feel her bare stomach, making their way up her ribs, her breast, her chest. Your eyes were following your hands until they reached her lips and you were diving back into her, kissing her heatedly. Once you feel her tongue make it’s way into your mouth you grind down on her hard and achingly slow. You brush your lips over her jaw as you do it again making your way to bite down on her neck hard.

Carmilla’s chest is heaving under you and you can tell she’s already so far gone. The small whimper that escapes her mouth draws you back to her lips were you kiss her and suck at her bottom one. You keep making out for a few minutes, Carmilla’s hand wandering all over your body, scratching and tugging desperately to feel you closer to her. Her other hand made it’s way into your hair and she tugged slightly at the roots on the back of your neck making you hum into her mouth.

When you stop kissing her to catch your breath, you look down at Carmilla beneath you. You both stop grinding into each other and stay breathing on one another while staring. You can see her pupils being dilated and you can tell she’s just as turned on as you.

God you could just get lost in those dark eyes. Eyes that you haven’t seen in waaaay too long. But as you keep staring and breathing you notice her eyes are somewhat different. The way they’re looking at you, it’s got something else. They’re not just giving you her usual intense stare...there’s something else..

“What?” you ask panting and Carmilla’s smirk start to appear.

There it is.

That’s your Carm.

Not...not your Carm but just the Carm that...well, that you know. That’s what you meant.

Totally what you meant.

“Hi.” she says and you legit laugh and so does she. You rest your forehead on Carmilla’s shoulder and shake your head a bit. “It’s nice to see you too, how have you been, Cupcake?” she goes on and you purse your lips trying not to smile but she continues. “Oh, really? That sounds so boring. Me you ask? Oh I’ve been great. No hormonal cuties slamming me onto my own bed and all.”

“Shut up!” you say back and she laughs again. You lift your head squinting at her before resting your forehead against hers. “You suck.”

“Well I guess I wouldn’t mind complying to that valid statement.”

“Ohmygod.” you throw your head back and roll your eyes. “You’re such a dork.”

“ _I'm_ a dork? I thought we had it clear that _you're_  the dork here, creampuff.”

You giggle and stare down at Carmilla before quietly leaning in and slowly pecking her lips. “I missed you.”

 _This_...you missed _this_. Not her.

“Yeah I can tell.” she replies and smirks. You purse your lips and glare at her before starting to get off from on top of her. “No-wait!--I’m kidding.” she quickly says, steadying you back on top of her and gives you this look that you’ve never seen in her before.

It’s a soft look...but it’s more than that. It’s like...It’s like something pouring out of it. Her eyes are just giving you this look that’s just drawing you into them.

Kinda like longing Puppy eyes or something.

You get back to kissing her in silence and it quickly starts getting heated way faster than usual. It’s almost desperate.

Her hands grabbing firmly at your ass like she always does, making you smile into the kiss from the familiar move on her part.

You’re moving your hips slowly against her, her hands sliding under your underwear now when you suddenly hear someone else moaning loudly.

You freeze your movement and look towards Carmilla’s bedroom door and then back at Carmilla with a furrowed brow.

“What the fuck.” you say before you start laughing hard. Carmilla joining you.

“Will has some company today.”

“I forget he lives here sometimes.” you hear the girl moan again and tilt your head, your eyes widening. “Not today though.”

Carmilla laughs again and so do you. “Don’t listen to him.” She says pulling you back down from your neck to kiss her. You hum into the kiss and shortly after start slowly moving your hips again.

Another moan.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” you say as you pull back, sitting up.

“Just don’t listen to him.” she says again, following you and sitting up as well.

“What am I supposed to listen to then? It’s kind of impossible not to.”

She bites her lip and places a hand on your hip. She easily pushes you aside, switching your positions and you squeal a little at the sudden movement. She leand down and whispers in your ear. “Listen to me instead.”

You giggle and blush as she pulls back to look at you with a smile. “Okay. I’m listening.”

She leans back down and smiles against your ear before pepper kissing it. You laugh and flinch at the contact. Carmilla smiles more and repositions you to stop moving. She kisses your cheek and trails kisses back to your ear.

“Sensitive are we?” she says in her usual sultry voice.

“Shut up. It tickled.”

She brushes some hair behind your ear and brushes her lips up your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses ever so often.

“God I’ve been dying to see you again.” you feel her fingers brushing over your stomach giving you goosebumps. “Feel you trembling under me.” She sucks on your neck under your ear. “Hear your breathing picking up.” You whimper and Carmilla grumbles against your neck. “mmm and then there’s that.” she brushes her lower lip over your own lips, staring at you with dark eyes. “I _love_  that.”

You chew on your lip, dying to feel her lips against yours. She looks down at your lips from the action and you lick them. She leans in and hums into the kiss, slow and sensual.

Fuck.

Your hands go down to her waist and you press her closer to you. She seems to get it and starts grinding on you starting slow but quickly picking up desperately. Your nails clawing at her lower back each time she grinds harder into you.

“Fuck, Carm.” you say between kisses and her hand dips down, sliding under your underwear, easily sliding up and down your core.  You whimper at the sudden contact and thank god she’s not teasing you.

You’re not sure you could handle that right now.

She starts panting against your neck as she kisses and bites down on it, her hand and hips continuing their movement.

You can still hear the girl’s moans from next door but with Carmilla breathing and letting out small moans ever so often near your ear you could care less.

She removes her hand from you wet area and uses it to keep her balance better as she grinds harder on you, moaning.

You moan when she gets the pressure just right against your core and move your hand away from her back to dip it inside her underwear, rubbing up and down her folds one time before focussing on circling her clit.

“Oh fuck.” she says quickly in a voice higher than usual. You start matching your circles with each time she grinds down and the moans she’s letting out are going straight to your throbbing core.

You suddenly quicken your pace around her clit and she loses the rhythm she had grinding down on you. Her hips try to counter your new speed and she whimpers desperately. “Oh Laura.” she says between whimpers, letting her body press against yours making it harder for you to move your hand.

But you don’t stop. She’s moaning hard against your ear as you keep drawing easy circles from how wet she is.

“Oh fuck, Carm. You’re not making this easy.” you whine as you continue to hear her whimper against your ear.

“Ah. You’re the one who--ohmygod fuck me.”

You slowed down your pace to an achingly slow one and she’s trembling on top of you, her hips countering your slow circles until she twitches on top of you. “Oh god.” she says as she struggles to breath when she reaches her orgasm. She lazily rest her body on top of yours as she tries and steadies her breathing. “Fuck, Cupcake.”

“I know.”

Now that you’re both just panting you can hear the girl moaning again next door and you giggle. Carmilla smiles against your ear. “Guess it’s not over yet.”

You turn your head to face her and she opens her eyes at the sudden movement, looking back at you with bliss. “Oh it’s faar from over, Carm.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “That so?”

You start changing your position so she’s laying on her back. You bite your lip and nod. “Mhm.”

She smirks. “fine by me.”

-

That night you and Laura spent most of it having sex over and over again. Even after the room next door had gone quiet half way. The girl making noise long forgotten.

And when Laura moaned your name or kissed her way down your stomach while looking at you with so much desire, you realized how good she makes you feel.

When Laura would touch you, her fingertips tracing their way up your bicep or her hands clutching at your shoulders and scratching up your thigh, you noticed something.

You like it when Laura touches you, you let her. Unlike that girl you accidentally slept with weeks ago. And when you’re catching your breath while lying on top of her slowly drifting to sleep, you know.

She’s always allowed to stay over.

 ****-

You wake up feeling something heavy against your bare chest.

Oh, right.

You fell asleep last night.

You didn’t really plan on it. You’d been trying not to stay over for a few weeks now because of...well...you’re not really sure why anymore.

But last night you couldn’t make yourself get up and leave. Not while Carmilla was resting on top of you from all the sex you had. Plus you were so tired, what was resting your eyes for a bit?

Resting your eyes for a bit was sleeping through the night and through your alarm.

“Shit shit shit.” You whisper to yourself as you try and remove yourself from Carmilla and her bed. You overslept.

You immediately notice that you’re full on naked and look behind you to see that so is Carmilla still. You hadn’t fallen asleep naked since...well since the two of you met months ago.

You stand up and silently run around the room grabbing your clothes. You hear Carmilla rustling in bed and quickly freeze your movement.

“Leaving already?” she says and you look at her as she squints at you with sleepy eyes. You give her an apologetic look and shrug as you collect your pants from the floor. “But you just got back.” she says throwing her head back into her pillow.

“Haven’t had enough?” you say with a smirk.

“You owe me like three weeks worth of pleasure.”

You giggle and jump a bit as you slide in your pants. You sit down on the bed to tie your shoes. “I’ll come back some time this week.” She groans and throws a pillow at you hitting your bare back.

“Fine. Go away.” she mumbles before turning in bed and you shake your head while smiling. You stand up and slide on your bra before walking around the bed to collect your shirt on the other side. When you kneel down to grab it you stare up at Carmilla’s sleeping face and smile. You stand up and lean forward in bed craning over her. She groans sleepily when the bed moves and you lean down, hovering your lips over her ear.

“See you later.” you whisper before quickly kissing her cheek and standing from the bed.

“Ughhh. Bye.” she says snuggling deeper in her bed. You chuckle and put on your shirt, walking out of the room. As you try and shut the bedroom door as quietly as you can you hear someone behind you.

“Morning.”

You jump startled and turn to find Will sipping coffee in the kitchen.

“Good morning.” you reply and he smirks while sipping from his mug.

“You’re up early after all that um...fun.”

You stiffen and your cheeks burn. “I uh--yeah I um have to go to work and stuff.”

He nods. “Sucks.”

“Yup.” you quickly walk to the front door. “Welp, bye!”

You quickly step outside the apartment and hear a “bye” as you shut the door.

Well that was awkward.

-

Surprisingly enough, you don’t feel that tired when you’re at work today. It’s a darn miracle after the night you had with Carm that’s for sure.

You did, however, forget all the marks she left you with.

Again.

Last night was kinky as fuck and rougher than the usual. Maybe it’s cause you were both desperate to finally feel one another because all those scratches and desperate clutching were...well..intense.

You look at yourself using your camera as a mirror. You rub at your neck.

Not to mention the hickeys.

You bite your lip at the sight as you remember the previous night’s activities, but sigh once you realize how noticeable they are.

Your dad walks in to the office all smiles and surprisingly no paperwork.

“Hey dad.”

“Hey schnookums! Where’ve you been all morning?”

“Uuuh..I was..at a friends and I fell asleep. Sorry dad.”

“Hmm. It’s fine. I’m sure you missed your friends after being away for so long.”

“Yeah..” you look back down at your phone thinking of Carmilla. You shake the thought away and put your phone away. “So what’s up dad? Why are you “schnookums”-ing me now?”

“I..that’s not at all what I was doing!”

“Sure, dad.” you give him a look of disbelief and he grumbles before crossing his arms.

“Besides the point.” you wave your hand around.

“Yeah yeah get to it dad.”

He stays quiet for a bit, squinting at you with a tight lip frown. “Fine. What I wanted to talk to you about was your plans for later.”

“What plans?”

“Well.” he pauses as he uncrosses his arms and leans over the desk. “Your next trip.”

“Wait what?? Another one??”

“Mhm” he nods. “You have to go back.”

“Why the heck? I though everything was finished!”

“Nooo! The thing is, I just wanted you to comeback so I could see how your progress had been and make sure everything was going great-- _AND IT IS_!” he clarifies. “And I can’t be prouder!”

 ****He means check if you didn’t fuck up. You were right, he didn’t trust you with this. Not even after forcing you and Danny to work together. Not ever after you scored points with that Vordenberg guy for the contract.

He never freaking did.

God how could you believe it? How could you not see this coming.

He needed you back just to make sure you didn’t fail him.

For fucks sake.

“-But now that I see all this progress and how well you and Danny worked together I’m more than glad you handled everything so well, Laura. Mr. Vordenberg seemed to enjoy your talk at the restaurant. He’s quite fond of you, and...his absolutely crazy stories _BUT STILL_! You got us a very big gun schnookums! He wants you to be the one to handle everything with his contract. Said you had some very valid points.”

“Dad.” you finally interrupt his monologue.

“Yeah?”

“You can’t just make these decisions without telling me first.” you say firmly and he seems surprised. “I...I mean you _can_  because you’re technically my boss but this is not okay.”

He worries his brow and you can see how his jaw clenches as he starts nodding slightly.

“Mr. Hollis!” you hear Betty say from the door. “Your scheduled call with Mrs. Agnes is in a few.”

“Uhg.” Your dad let’s out. He opens his mouth to talk but you’re already walking past him shaking your head.

You should have known better than to think your dad would trust you to do well on your own.  
****

He doesn’t have faith in your skills.

He doesn’t have faith in you to do things on your own and do them right.

You squeeze past Betty and walk down the hallway feeling upset.

He doesn’t care.

-

 ****The next day you’re not really in a better mood. You’re resting your chin in your hand as you lean over your dad’s desk. He’s in some meeting about new interns or something and you weren’t really needed there so thankfully here you are instead.

You’ve been ignoring your dad since yesterday even if you know it’s a pointless act since you’re literally in his office most of the time at work.

You haven’t talked to anyone about the new trip. You’ve kind of been trying to avoid that whole thought in general. So right now you’re just spacing out clicking your pen against the desk while staring into blank space. Which leads to you getting startled at your phone suddenly ringing.

And for a second there, you think it might be Carmilla calling you but it’s not. You look at the screen hesitantly and sigh before picking up.

“Heeey LaF.”

“Laura! Hey! It’s about time you popped back up on the radar.”

You lean forward resting your chin in your hand again. “Yeah, sorry about that..I’ve been busy and not really in the best mood lately.”

“Busy i’ve heard before, but bad mood? That’s a new one.” they pause. “Wanna talk about it?”

You chew your lip as you consider telling your best friend what they’re bound to find out anyone. You decide not to. “Just...stuff with dad again. I’ll be okay.”

“Ohh...that really sucks, L... Well! This makes my reason for calling you all the more valid!”

“What reason?” you say straightening up.

“Weeeell, Perr and me have been thinking “hey, Laura’s finally back and we haven’t seen her in forever, why not take her out!” which leads me to asking you the important question.” you wait for them to continue. “Which day would you rather not deal with your dad? Tomorrow, or Thursday?”

You scoff and actually think about it. “Thursday I think.”

“Done. Don’t bail on us! You know I know where you live.”

“Obviously.” you laugh and shake your head. “Thanks LaF.”

“No prob, L. Invite whoever you want. It’s your night.”

“Okay.”

Once you hang up you press the top of your phone against your lips as you think about it.

Invite whoever you want?

Should you?

You shake your head with a sigh.

You haven’t even texted her since you went to her apartment. Besides, how are you suppoused to tell her about the trip? You literally just got back and you’re already gonna tell her you’re leaving again? That’s not nice.

You groan and slouch forward resting your head on your arms.

Not that she’d care but...well, okay last time she kind of seemed mad or surprised when you told her so maybe she...would care?

Ugh. This is stupid. You’ll just think about it later.

-

On Thursday night you finally hear from Laura. You were wondering what had happened to her. She hadn’t called or texted or sent pictures or anything since she left a few mornings ago. But the fact that she’s finally appeared makes you smile nontheless.

Laura(6:34pm): hey. you! me! (and my friends) bar! booze! tonight!

Laura(6:34pm): yes..?

Laura(6:34pm): u don’t have to come if u don’t want to.

Laura(6:34pm): my friends just wanted to take me out to finally see me.

Laura(6:34pm): so yeah uh do u..want to? no? maybe?

Carmilla(6:35pm): calm down cutie.

Carmilla(6:35pm): i’ll be there.

Laura(6:36pm): cool!

Carmilla(6:36pm): where exactly is “there” by the way?

Laura(6:37pm): remember that place we bumped into each other and nearly did it in the alley?

Carmilla(6:37pm): yes.

Laura(6:37pm): there :B

Carmilla(6:38pm): see u tonight then cutie. ;)

“Shit. Where are my leather pants?” you say as you look around your not so messy room.

This is exactly why you don’t clean things. You don’t know where anything is anymore. Why did you clean your apartment in the first place? The most idiotic idea you’ve had so far.

You continue to curse as you look through your room trying to find them. You want to look hot tonight.

Just because.

No real reason.

-

You’re already one shot in when Perry starts hugging you again. For like the fourth time tonight.

“Peeerryyyy.” you say half laughing half whining.

“I’m sorry! It’s just--you’ve been away for so long and I just--It’s nice to have you back. How was your time over there anyway?”

“Yeah, how was time with _DAAAANNYYYY_?” asks LaF nudging you.

You roll your eyes. “Stop it. Nothing happened. We’re just friends now and I’m actually quite happy about it.” you say with a nod.

“That’s cool.” they say. “Those touristy pictures you sent us together were adorable though.” Perry nods frantically agreeing with them and you shake your head.

“You guys are the worst.”

“We’re just glad the two of you have resolved things for the better.” says Perry. “Now, who wants seconds?!” She says enthusiastically before heading to the bar anyway.

You stay chit chatting with LaF while she gets more shots and recognize a tall guy making his way through the crowd from the entrance. You smile at the sight and nudge LaF. “Look! Kirsch is here tonight!”

They turn around. “Well what do ya know. The big guy’s here too.”

“Yeah, that’s--” you stop mid sentence when you recognize a wave of curls next to Kirsch. You’d know those beautiful dark locks anywhere. “--awesome.” you finish as you smile towards where you’re looking.

LaF notices your pause and turns to look at you, noticing your smile. They furrow their brow and look back towards where you’re looking. “Oooooh.” they say when they see her too. “Looks like your girlfriend’s here.”

“What?! That’s--” you say as you scoff and look at them now.

“Yeah yeah. “Not my girlfriend” yata yata. Shut up and go say hi.” they reply and you scowl at them but quickly change your expression when Kirsch and Carmilla make it to you guys.

“Hey!” you immediately say changing the subject.

“Sup little hottie! Ow!” he says as Carmilla back hands his arm.

“Ignore him. I just brought him along for free drinks.” she says.

“Heeeey! That’s no way to treat a bro.” he scowls at her and she shrugs.

“Go fetch me something expensive and gay.” she says shooing him with her hand.

“Whiskey with a side of asshole it is!”  She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to the bar.

She turns her attention to you and gives you a small tight lipped smile while waving her fingers as a small hello to you and LaF.

“Sup again.” LaF says as they raise their half empty beer at Carmilla.

“You guys been drinking for a while now?” she asks raising an eyebrow.

“Laura’s not drunk yet if that’s what you’re asking.” you smack them in the arm and they just smile. “She will be soon though, since Perr went to get more shots.”

As if on queue Perry comes back holding four shots. She hands them around and hands one to Carmilla who seems surprised but grabs it anyway.

“How did you..” you start but Perry simply smiles.

“I saw you two from the bar. Plus Kirsch said she’d be okay with it so.” Perry shrugs and raises her glass. “Down we go!”

They all start chit chatting and laughing once you take the shot and you take a few steps to stand next to Carmilla as you scrunch up your face from the strong liquor. She smiles wide at you making that face and you purse your lips annoyed.

“Sooo...you made it.” you say as you bump elbows with her.

“Didn’t think I would?”

“No, it’s just--I don’t know. It’s cool that you’re here.”

She smiles at you as a response and you just stare at each other for a bit. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought Kirsch. Since you said you’d be with friends..” she trails off.

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Kirsch is always welcome to come along.”

You smile at each other as you continue to simply look at one another. “Come on, L! Let’s go over there!” says LaF bringing you back from your daze.

“What? Oh, yeah sure.” you reply as they drag you by the wrist. You reach out to Carmilla but miss and she smirks at you. You tilt your head as if telling her to follow while you step into the crowd and at first she doesn’t but ends up complying.

You like having her follow behind you, especially when she finally holds your hand to not get split up in the crowd.

-

Later on in the night you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, all those drinks taking their toll on your bladder and all.

It’s been a really fun night and Carmilla and Kirsch surprisingly fit really well with your friends.

But now that you’re alone for the first time the whole night your mind drifts back to the issue you keep trying to ignore.

You sigh as you sit on the toilet.

How are you going to tell everyone that you’re going on another trip and leaving your friends again.

You still haven’t even told anyone.

You whine as you wash your hands and exit the bathroom. You stand outside the bathroom for a while though, not sure of what to do or not.

“Hey.” you hear the familiar words in that even more familiar voice and look up.

“Hey.” you say giving her a half smile.

“I just- came to check up on you.” she furrows her brow. “Are you okay, cupcake?”

Not really.

You laugh weakly and shake your head as you look at the floor. “It’s nothing.”

It’s quiet after that (minus the loud music and crowd) so you glance back up at her and see her nodding slightly. She reaches down to grab your hand.

“Come on, let’s get you another drink. On me.” you quirk an eyebrow. “Theoretically speaking, not literally _on_  me.” you twist your mouth trying to stop yourself from smirking.

“Too bad.” you say quietly as you brush past her giggling. She raises her eyebrows surprised but ends up following you back to the bar.

As she orders your drink you let your eyes wander and god is she hot tonight.

Well, she’s hot every night but jesus. The way those leather pants look on her. You bite your lip as you legit stare at her ass.

“Your drink.” your eyes move their way back up and she’s smirking wide at you. You blush.

“Thanks.”

-

The rest of the night was so much fun. You and all your friends were really drunk and laughing at everything, hell, even Carmilla was genuinely laughing along.

Carmilla, who was waaay drunker than you and Kirsch. A sight you’d never thought you’d get to see.

It’s cute to know that she’s a happy drunk.

But as the night was coming to an end and LaF and Perry were pretty wasted, you and Kirsch agreed on taking everyone home.

“I’ll drive them to their place in their van and then like grab a cab home or something.”

“Thanks Kirsch. I think I should take Carmilla home too.”

“Yeah, she’s far gone.” he says as Carmilla leans on you, giggling into your hair. “Just like show me the way to their van.”

“Okay.” you turn to Carm and grab her hands. “Come on Carm. Time to walk.”

She stumbles a bit before walking beside you. As you cross the street you hold her hand and she interlocks your fingers.

Come to think of it, you two never really hold hands in public. Then again why would you.

All you know is that there’s a weird tingling in your chest.

You all come to a stop at LaF’s van, Carmilla almost walking into you, and Perry hands Kirsch the keys.

As you wait for Kirsch to help them in the van Carmilla rests her chin on your shoulder, watching. Her hand still holding yours. And she’s so damn cute right now that you can’t stop smiling.

“Okay, two gingers to deliver! I’ll see ya around Laura. Make Carm text me when you get there.”

“Okay, thanks again Kirsch.” He smiles goofily at you and his eyes stay on your joint hands for a few seconds before he shakes his head smiling and drives off.

 ****You move your attention to Carmilla. “Okay, Carm. Let’s get you home.”

“You’d do that for me?” she asks innocently.

“Of course i’d do that for you.” she smiles at you and you tug on her hand. “Come on you dumb cutie patootie.”

She chuckles at that but follows you down the street to get a cab.

You share the cab and all the while her hand never leaves yours. She rested her head on your shoulder for most of the car ride as she huffed out tired air. At one point you had to readjust yourself so her head would fit better but she just pulled back and stared at you. You turn your head to look at her and smile. “What?”

She stares at you and leans her head on the head rest, her eyes silently moving around your face. You feel your cheeks getting warm from having her looking at you so much and so directly.

“You’re really beautiful.”

You giggle but she doesn’t waver in her staring so you lick your lips and scooch closer to her. “Can I tell you a secret?”

She looks up at your eyes in wonder and nods. You smile at her and lean closer to whisper.

“I think you’re beautiful too.”

She smiles wide and ducks her head, pressing her forehead to your shoulder. You giggle again and rub your thumb over her hand. She looks back up at the gesture and gives you a small smile that squeezes at your heart.

“Riverton Street, miss.”

You snap out of it and look at the cab driver. “Okay, thank you! Come on Carm, out you go.” You open the door for her from the inside and she steps out. You scoot to do the same but turn to the cab driver. “I’m gonna go help her back up to her apartment. Can you wait?” He nods and you step out of the cab closing the door. Carmilla’s looking at the cloud of her breath from the cold night and you giggle at the sight.

“What? It’s cool.” she says and you pull on your jean jacket before extending your hand for her to grab it.

You head up the quiet stairs and you’re both stumbling all over the place while hushing each other when you’d laugh and bump into one another.

Once you reach her door she leans her back on it while smiling as you giggle.

“Well, goodnight Carm. Thanks for coming tonight. I had a lot of fun with you and Kirsch.”

“I had fun too. I like drinking out with you and your ginger twins. You’re much more fun than people would expect.”

“Heeeeey.” you say gently shoving her shoulder but she stumbles back into the door a little while giggling. “It was really nice seeing you.” you say as you start stepping back with a smile.

Carmilla’s hand reaches forward and grabs you by the jacket. “Wait-” she tugs you closer and you stumble a bit but let yourself be pulled towards her. She leans forward and your foreheads are touching, heavy eyes looking at you as she glances at your lips.

“Stay tonight.” she says and her voice was so small and sweet.

You chew on your lip and try to think about it but with the way Carmilla’s glassy eyes keep looking at you so intensely, so...lovingly.

There’s no way you can say no.

-

Laura steps away from you and you get a hold of her hand with a sad look.

“I’m just gonna go tell the cab driver to leave.” she smile. “I’ll be right back. Promise.”

Laura walks away and you don’t let go of her hand until she’s too far and your fingertips brush against each other before completely letting go.

You sigh and lean back on the door before starting to look through your pockets for your keys.

You take them out and sloppily open the front door, taking a few woozy steps inside before kicking off your boots.

You can see that Will’s asleep on the couch snoring like usual, a beer bottle on the floor next to him.

You snicker and shake your head. The you hear steps behind you and the door closing. You turn around and find Laura looking at sleeping Will too.

“Is he out?” you nod. “Huh. At least his snoring isn’t as bad as last time.” you chuckle and take a few steps towards Laura. You press your foreheads together again, your hands making their way inside Laura’s jacket, resting on her waist.

Laura smiles at you and you barely catch it before you’re closing your eyes and just breathing as you stay like this with her for a bit.

Your eyes are just heavy is all.

You really like being like this with Laura though.

You really like everything with Laura.

-

Carmilla smells like alcohol and her usual wood like smell as she rests her forehead against yours. She’s being really cute, her eyes closed as she holds you steady. You reach up and gently brush her locks out of her face and behind her ear. Carmilla nudges her nose against your cheek and exhales deeply.

“You okay?” you asks, and she just nods against you, her lips brushing over yours before she kisses you gently.

It feels completely different from her usual kisses, it’s way softer and sweeter, as if she was taking in every second of it.

You really like how it feels.

Her hands slowly make their way out from under your jacket and up to the collar of it. She slowly pulls it off as she continues kissing you, helping you out of your jacket. Her hands brush over your bare arms once it’s gone, feeling your warm skin against her cold fingertips.

Your hands going to her hair, pulling her closer as you deepen the slow kiss, not changing the pace.

The apartment was quiet, all you could hear was your kissing and cars pass by ever so often down the street, Will’s snoring barely even registering in your mind as your lips moved slowly against Carmilla’s.

You jump away from her when you hear Will snore louder than before and move around on the couch.

You and her stare at him quietly but he doesn’t seem to wake up so you do your best to hold in your snort, covering your mouth with your hand.

Carmilla chuckles quietly before pressing her forehead against yours, her hands resting on your hips as she sways a bit. She starts taking small steps towards her room and you smile wide and follow her steps.

She slowly opens the door to her bedroom trying to be quiet but the squeak it makes is obvious. You cringe and she bites her lip pulling you inside her room before shutting the door quietly. She leans back on her door and you start kissing up her neck slowly. Her hands going down your sides all the way to your thighs, gripping right under your ass to pull you closer to her. You giggle into her neck and feel the shiver that goes down her body. Your warm hands start making their way under her shirt, warmly brushing up her stomach. You rest them on her ribs, feeling the heavy rise and fall from her breathing.

You stop kissing her neck and rest your forehead against hers, your hands squeezing her breasts over her bra. She sighs at the feeling and presses you against her by your ass, squeezing just as you did with her. You press one of your legs between her thighs and step as close as possible to her. She pants and cups your face, pulling your lips to hers in a slow but passionate kiss. Her warm lips moving smoothly against your own. Your hands slide from her breasts to her back were you clutch her closer. You press your fingertips up and down her back, slowly undoing her bra. She starts sucking down your jaw, her hands clutching you closer by your lower back. Your hands sneak back to her breasts and you pull down at her loose bra to be able to touch them bare. Her nipples erect as you squeeze her breast sensually.

She breaths harder against your ear, her knees going weak for an instant before she starts sucking on your earlobe. You yank her bra further down and cup one of her breast, slowly fondling it while your other hand slides down her stomach under her waistband. You slide your hand under her pants and underwear going directly to where you’ve been dying to touch her since she gave you that look outside.

You sensually dip your hand down further, sliding through her wet folds as you go to kiss her shoulder. She moans and it’s so soft and beautiful that you repeat the previous motion wanting to hear it again.

“Fuck. Laura…” she says instead and your name sounds so amazing coming from her lips. Her hands dip under your pants and underwear as she firmly clutches your ass. Her right hand going around your hip and down to your core, mirroring what you’re doing.

“Oh.” you say as you throw your head back. Her lips start kissing up your throat and chin before you look back forward and find Carmilla looking at you with pure bliss in her eyes.

“Come to bed with me.” she asks almost like a whisper and you simply nod as she grabs your hand and guides you to her bed. she tugs you closer once you take the final step towards the bed and she holds you by your hips. She stares at you again and combs some of your messy hair with a small grin. You smile and lean forward to kiss her. Her hand going to the back of your neck to pull you closer to her, her free hand trying to get rid of your pants. Your hands go to help her out as you continue to kiss and you slide off your pants, stepping out of them before going to get rid of hers. She quickly takes off her shirt and undone bra before sliding her hands up your sides, lifting your shirt up and over your head. She pushes you towards the bed and cranes on top of you, her hair draping down on side as she looks at your lips.

She slowly leans forward to meet your lips halfway and you kissed her desperately. She followed your rhythm and her hand brushed down your chest to cup your breast.

She sighed into the kiss as she squeezed your breast and you wrapped your arms around her neck pulling her closer.

That’s what this whole thing feels like.

Tug and pull like you want more and more.

She places one of her legs between yours and grinds down, her knee moving against your core making you hum against her mouth. She did it again, and again, always keeping this slow and steady sensual rhythm that’s making your whole body burn.

Her hand moves from your breast down to your center and she slides her fingers over your clit before making their way lower and lower, till she was pressing a finger inside you. You gasped at the sudden sensation but she’s being slow so the whole thing felt so fucking good.

She started thrusting slowly inside you, her palm rubbing against your clit whenever she’d move her hand. You start breathing harder against her lips and you could barely kiss her from all the sensations you were feeling all around your body.

She pressed her forehead against yours as she looked at you in the eyes, her eyes dark but shiny. She started grinding down on you every time she would thrust out of you and the quiet moans you could see in her face so close to yours would only increase how aroused you were by her.

Your hands were clutching at her shoulders, fingertips digging into her skin each time she’d start thrusting a bit faster and harder.

“Ah. fuck Carm.” You threw your head back but returned to being against her forehead shortly after. She stopped thrusting into you, instead drawing slow circles on your clit making your hips buckle up. She started moving her hips in the same circular motion rubbing against you as you tried rubbing against her moving fingers.

She started circling faster before going back to thrusting inside of you. You shut your eyes tight and were panting, one of your hands leaving Carmilla’s shoulders to rub circles on your own clit as she kept thrusting into you. She started going faster and curling her fingers and you moaned in a tone higher than usual as your hips tried to continue moving to her pace. Your nails were digging into her shoulder as you rubbed faster and she must be paying attention to your every move because she started speeding up as well. You arched your back as you reached your orgasm with a small moan.

You let yourself rest for a minute before opening your eyes to find Carmilla combing your hair, her eyes in a daze looking somewhere around your lips.

“What?” you say with a smile.

She smiles back and shakes her head as she continues gently combing your hair. You squint at her and reach for her neck to pull her towards you, giving her a long slow kiss.

You continue to kiss her while trying to make her sit upright and straddle you. You wrap your arms around her waist and pull her closer against you. And as your kiss starts to heat up again, becoming longer and longer, you sneak your hand down to her front and start rubbing her slowly.

She stops kissing you.

“Laura.” she gasps out your name as you continue rubbing her core, and she’s pressing her forehead against yours again, her hands cupping your face as she starts grinding to the rhythm of your fingers.

She starts grinding harder and harder and you try and keep up with her pace as much as you can while having her move like that on top of you.

She’s got you panting just as hard as she is. Her hands scratching up and down your back as you continue moving, and you can feel how sweaty you’re both getting as you continue panting into each other’s faces. She whimpers and moans all while looking into your eyes and my god it’s killing you. You feel her whole body tremble as she comes undone on top of you and you don’t mind the fact that your wrist hurts from being in such an uncomfortable angle for so long.

You lay back down sweaty and panting just as amazingly satisfied as she seems to be, red faced and warm all over.

You kiss afterwards and they’re soft and long and simple kisses all while still trying to catch your breath. She lays beside you, her hand caressing up and down your arm as you lay next to each other. And you rest your head on Carmilla’s shoulder, shutting your eyes at the familiar feeling that’s having Carmilla again you like this.

Fuck, that was great. Fuck, why do you feel like this with her? Why do you enjoy it so much? Why do you get so into it? So into her.

You just lose yourself in her. In all of her.

But then those kisses today...the way they felt…

What’s happening to you?

Carmilla dips her arm under you so that she can wrap it around you and rest her cheek on top of your head, still trying to calm her breathing. You rest your hand on her chest and start playing with some of her hair. You feel Carmilla brush the back of your hair that’s not so sweaty anymore and start brushing her fingers gently over your back for a while, caressing you.

You should have just gotten up and left. You should have.

But with her being so gentle and sweet, with her having told you to “stay tonight”, with her lulling you to sleep with the way she keeps caressing your back,

You had to stay.

You wanted to.  

Your eyes close as you revel in the feeling, letting yourself just enjoying being tucked into Carmilla while she caresses your back so lovingly. You end up falling asleep easily.

 ****-

You wake up in the middle of the night. You can hear the rain starting to fall outside, and you can still feel Carmilla’s arm swung over you. Her soft bare chest against your face.

It’s almost like a dream.

But the cold you’re feeling in your feet is nothing but.

You try and just go back to sleep but it’s impossible so you end up mumbling half asleep for help.

“Caaaaarmmm, I’m cooooold.” it comes out like a sleepy whine and Carmilla wakes up with a sharp intake of breath through her nose, she looks around lost for a second before sliding away from you to sit up and get the sheets from under the two of you.

She lays them on top of you two and goes back to her previous positing, waiting for you to lift your head up so she can put her arm under it again. You do and she covers you up to your neck before wrapping her arm around you like before.

“Thanks.” you whisper out and she let’s out a grumble that let’s you know you’re welcome before pulling you closer.

You nuzzle into her and tangle your legs.

“mmffff. Your feet are cold.” you say and she mumbles with a sleepy voice.

“Sorry.”

Carmilla finishes adjusting herself to be comfortable and rubs her feet against yours to warm them up.

You smile at the cat like gesture with your eyes closed and drift back to sleep.

-

The next morning you feel Laura’s warm body pressed against yours, your legs tangled and her hair in your face as her head is tucked under your neck.

You smile at the familiar smell of her hair and she suddenly talks with a groggy voice.

“Don’t smell my hair. It’s dirty. I haven’t washed it since I got back.”

You smell it anyway. “It’s not that bad. I still like it.” you say and she groans under you. You smirk at what you plan on saying next. “Your breath on the other hand…”

Laura gasps and covers her mouth. You laugh.

“I’m kidding.”

“Too bad.” she says, her words muffled by her hand.

You try to kiss her but she won’t let you. “Ugh, you’re so picky.” You kiss her shoulder instead, pushing her hair out of the way. You work your way up her neck to her cheek and start kissing closer and closer to her lips. Laura’s hand slowly leaving her mouth and her face slowly turning to your lips until they finally meet. “See...not so bad.”

“Ugh! I hate you!”

“Hahahaha!” you brush her hair back. “Oh come on, you don’t mean that.”

“What if I do? Huh?” she says defiantly and you glare at her.  “Ok, so fine, I don’t hate you but you’re a real dumbbutt.” You pout at her and she rolls her eyes. “Ok, so you’re not a dumbbutt...you’re...pretty great...and I love what an asshole you can be, or the fact that you don’t hate me even though you’re up early.”

“You seem to love a lot of things about me.” you say playfully before actually thinking it through. Laura seems surprised and she has this look you don’t really know how to read. She grins tightly though and turns around in bed giving you her back.

You throw your arm around her waist and you can see her smiling to herself as she reaches down slowly until bumping with your hand. You lazily intertwine your fingers and it stays quiet as you both try getting some more sleep.

-

You can’t stop overthinking things again and now you just keep noticing every single detail and move that Carmilla does making you blush constantly as she goes to intertwine your fingers in bed.

You lay there quietly as your thoughts get the better of you.

“Hey Carm?”

“mmm?”

“I really don’t hate you you know.”

She chuckles. “I know.” you nod to yourself not expecting her to say anything else. “I really don’t hate you either. You’re less annoying than people would think.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You know what I mean.” she adjust herself, snuggling closer to you. “I like your company. It’s nice.” she pauses. “Even when you don’t let me sleep in the morning.”

You giggle. “Sorry. To be fair you woke me up first.” She doesn’t reply, and all you can focus on is the way her thumb brushes against your hand.

“You going to work today?”

You turn around to face her at that question. “Yeah.”

“Well, i still have the company van from yesterday. I could give you a ride.” she says with a nonchalant shrug.

“You’d do that?”

“Mhm.”

“So you’re saying you’d get up early to drive me around?” you say teasing and she scrunches up her face.

“Well when you put it that way it’s not really motivating.”

You giggle and play with her hand between the two of you. “Well that kind of thing should be rewarded.” you say.

“Rewarded?” she quirks an eyebrow. “What kind of reward do you have in mind?”

“Mmmmm” you hum as if thinking while you hover closer to her face, planting a gentle kiss on her lips. Carm smiles once you part ways and you bite your lip smiling back. “What do you think of my reward?”

“Oh I have all kinds of thoughts about that.” she says as she starts leaning closer. Your hand leaves Carmilla’s and one of your fingers goes up and boops her nose.

“ _After_ I brush my teeth.”

“Nooo come on. I told you I didn’t careeee.” she says whining.

“Nope. You brought this on yourself, mistress of the snark.” you giggle more but lean forwards and kiss her again. “I’m gonna go do that while you regret this decision and try to get up.” you say heading for the bathroom.

“Ughhh why did I agree to this again?”

“Because you can’t get enough of me.” you tease and push her playfully.

“You can use my toothbrush, Cupcake.”

“What? No, that’s not…”

“Laura, you do realize my tongue has literally been in your mouth.” You glare at her. “Use it.”

“Fine.”

You brush your teeth before putting back on your clothes from last night and heading out to the company van.

And once Carmilla is unlocking the door to the van and giving you her usual smirk once she starts the car, you think you should do it.

You should tell her.

-

You’re driving to Laura’s house since she says she has to shower and get changed before work. You stop by a Burger King and grab some breakfast to eat on the way.

“I’m driving. So now you do your part.” you say as you look at Laura and she looks at you confused. You open your mouth for Laura to feed you and she scoffs shaking her head before feeding you a hashbrown.

You suck at Laura’s greasy fingers without really thinking about it as you continue driving and Laura gets flustered by it.

After a few minutes you notice Laura’s being quiet and looking out the car window and you’re looking at her instead. Last night at the bar she seemed upset about something. Is she still upset?

You look forward and see that the light is red.

Good. Here goes nothing.

“So... how are things with your dad going? Still struggling?” wow, real subtle Karnstein.

“Mmm I mean he’s kinda better but now I’m the one who barely spends time with him.”

“Why? Because of me?” you tease.

“Pff no. Because of work and our fight…”

“Fight?”

Laura gets quiet and shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

“What?” you ask once she doesn’t reply.

“Well...I was going to tell you later buuuuut I guess I can tell you now.” You give her a concerned look and she sighs slouching over a bit. “I have to go back again.”

Your eyes widen. “You’re leaving again??” Laura nods and you can tell she isn’t too happy about it. “When??”

“Friday 13th.”

“That’s in like two weeks.”

“Yeah, I know. Dad booked it for me without asking which has kinda got me mad at him but I already gave him a piece of my mind over it.” she says and it goes quiet again as you continue driving.

“...So when would you be back?” you try and ask looking as nonchalant as you can.

“Like two weeks after.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah...I know...sucks.”

“Whatever it’s for work. There’s not much you can do about it.”

“Mhmm.”

“Sooo...is Danny gonna be there again?”

Laura gives you a confused look. “Yeah, of course. Why?”

“No reason. Just...wondering if you’d be all alone this time.”

“Naah, Danny’s kinda permanetly stationed there so she’s gonna be with me everyday helping me out and what not.”

You hum as a reply.

“What?” she asks.

“Careful you don’t get caught up in the past, sweetheart.”

“What? Noooo that’s not gonna happen. We’re not like that anymore.”

“Sure, Creampuff. But out of the country, alone and “helping each other”? That might mean different things for your tall redhead of an ex.”

“You’re just jealous that someone might still have the hots for me.” she says teasingly.

“Pff I am _not_  jealous.”

“Mhmm.” she says not believing you.

“You’re delusional sweetheart.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, you just don’t want me to go running off and having fun with someone else.”

“You can have all the fun you want.” you bite back quickly. “That’s none of my business.”

“Suuure.” You glare at each other playfully and you stiffen. Laura seems to notice but she doesn’t comment on it.

_Am I really jealous?_

You park outside Laura’s house. “You sure you don’t need a ride to work?” you ask as she steps out of the van closing the door.

“Nah, i’ll catch a ride with dad. Thanks for everything, _Gaston_.”

You feign insult and Laura laughs while opening the car door again,crawling in to pull your head towards hers. She kisses you slow and hungrily and you get lost in it for a moment before she parts ways.

“Your services are greatly appreciated.”

“Mmm I don’t think I get payed enough for them” Now Laura clutches at her chest and gasps.

“How rude. Are you trying to say you’re not satisfied with your pay?” you smirk widely and Laura shoves your shoulder. She leans forward, hovering over your lips for a long moment before whispering. “Asshole.” and giving you one last quick peck. She steps out of the van again and shuts the door looking at you with a grin.

“Your compliments are the best.” you say teasing and she flips you off but throws you a kiss shortly after. You smile wider and start taking the van out of parking as you look back at Laura walking up the steps to her house.

You don’t move. Instead watching her for way too long and she turns around once she gets the keys to open the door. She waves at you with a small smile and you do the same back. Laura steps inside her house looking at you as she closes the door. You finally drive off and make your way back home, thinking over and over the words that Laura said.

Are you jealous?

-

The next day you don’t hear from Laura and it being a weekend goes by slow. You’ve been distracting yourself from thinking about what Laura said last time, pushing the words back as far as you could for some reason.

It wasn’t until Monday that you let the thoughts of Laura come crawling back in your mind.

Will had dragged you out to do some grocery shopping, which is something the two of you have always done together.

You hate grocery shopping by yourself.

But even though it’s the way it’s always been...something’s different. Something’s missing.

And when you walk down the aisle with all the sweets you remember being with Laura the last time you came here.

Since when has she gotten so involved in your life?

-

The next day you received a text message from Laura out of nowhere and you find yourself smiling once you see it.

Laura(12:57pm): save me.

Carmilla(12:58pm): save u from what?

Laura(12:58pm): -download image-

You laugh once you click on the image. Laura drowning in paper with a big pout. And you walk to your kitchen taking one of your cookies from Aunt Annie’s Bakery. You take a picture of yourself eating it and send it to her.

Carmilla(12:59pm): -download image-

Carmilla(12:59pm): sorry. cant rn. too busy eating these deliciously soft cookies from my favorite bakery.

Carmilla(12:59pm): mmmmmm yumm.

Laura(1:00pm): u are pure evil.

You chuckle and sit back down on your futon while continuing to eat your cookie.

Carmilla(1:00pm): oh come on. lighten up. It’s not my fault ur always working so much.

Laura(1:00pm): i literally haven’t seen my life in days. I’ve been in this office this whole week basically.

Carmilla(1:01pm): u work too much cupcake.

Laura(1:01pm): T.T

Carmilla(1:02pm): tell u what. don’t make any plans tomorrow night.

Laura(1:02pm): why?

Carmilla(1:03pm): just do what i tell u woman. u need a break from the office life.

Laura(1:03pm): fine but whatever it is it can’t be physical. My whole body’s sore from sleeping on this stupid desk.

Carmilla(1:04pm): well that’s no fun :p

Laura(1:05pm): shut up. I don’t have to fuck u to be fun

Carmilla(1:05pm): uww feisty are we? ;)

Laura(1:06pm): u wish

Laura(1:06pm): literally ;P

Carmilla(1:07pm): woah there tiger.

Carmilla(1:07pm): well ur not wrong…

Laura(1:07pm): hehe so flustered already? I didn’t even have to send u a pic this time. :B

Carmilla(1:08pm): shut up.

Carmilla(1:08pm): i’ll see u tomorrow, cutie.

-

You decided to just go watch a movie at the theater with her since she was just getting out of work and it was a half way meeting point for the both of you. She’s wearing black work pants along with a white button up shirt and a gray blazer when you finally meet up by the ticket booth. And you can’t stop thinking how good she looks in work attire.

 

 ****It’s a shitty movie, one that makes Laura laugh a lot. But you notice it’s not as lively as it usually is. It’s a tired laugh. And you feel a little guilty for making her stay out at night, but you know she would have stayed at the office either way.

She leans her head on your shoulder mid movie and lazily laces your fingers together as she continues watching.

You adjust yourself to get cozy while still paying attention to the movie in front of you but Laura seems so comfortable, and her hand fits so nicely with yours on top of the arm rest that you find yourself looking at her more than the stupid quirky film.

You rub your thumb over Laura’s hand ever so often and it’s is so soft and warm. You try and distract yourself from the thought by eating popcorn with your free hand. Laura’s head tilts up to look at you once the chewing sound of the popcorn is clear, and she tries to reach for the popcorn with her free hand but struggles by the uncomfortable position. She manages to grab a hand full and stuffs her face in the most childish and adorable way.

And after you know she’s done chewing, you blindly offer a popcorn to Laura who hasn’t taken any more from your lap and Laura opens her mouth, leaning forward, snatching it from your hand with a pleased hum.

You smirk, your eyes still on the movie, and you like being like this with her. It’s not weird or uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel forced and awkward, it’s just genuinely nice and cozy.

Maybe you should both hang out like this more often.

 

After the movie ended you made your way outside and stood by the entrance as the crowd simmered down. Laura was yawning at one point and you smiled at the innocent gesture.

“Wow, am I boring you Cupcake?”

“Pff what if I said you were?”

Your eyes widen for a second before Laura barks out a laugh and faces you before she leans into you, lazily wrapping her arms around your lower back.

“You’re totally not boring me. I’ve just been working overtime again with dad. I’m a little tired...” she says as she leans her head on your shoulder and you wrap your arms loosely around her waist.

“Hmmm well I may not be as tired as you but I am kinda hungry. What say you and me order something over at my place?”

Laura steps away to look at you with a twisted mouth. “Hmmm is it gonna be that take out from that one time?”

“If you want, yeah. I’d go for it.”

“Mmm yum. Okay. _but,_  we get my type of chicken this time.”

“Ugh…” She giggles but gives you a quick peck on the cheek before tugging at your sleeve.

“Come on, let’s go eat.” she says excited as she starts walking.

“Fine, but you’re not taking any of my eggrolls.”

“We’ll see about that.” Laura smiles teasingly and you roll your eyes grabbing her hand to start walking through the crowd of people waiting for some new vampire movie.

“Let’s just get out of here. The amount of hormonal teenagers is suffocating.”

“Pff I think that’s just you.”

“What?? I am _not_  hormonal. I am absolutely in control of my bodily needs and desires thank you very much.”

“Mhmm” she says as the two of you walk away from the crowd with playful smiles. Laura giggles and bumps her shoulder with yours and you let go of her hand to put an arm around her shoulder. “So we’re walking back again?”

“Yup.” you answer.

“If we end up getting caught in the rain this time I’m stealing your food and going home.”

You scoff and Laura wraps an arm around your waist, resting her hand lazily on your hip as you both walk comfortably in silence, some simple chit chat here and there.

The night is quiet and starry and all you can hear are the tree leaves rustling along with each footstep you and Laura take. Barely any cars driving by surprisingly.

“Hey Laura.” she hums as if asking what. “Still don’t like the quiet?”

She giggles. “Why do you ask?” You shrug and smirk at her as she starts doing her thinking face. “I like it sometimes. Like right now it’s nice.”

“Not awkward?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. I’m oddly comfortable with you and the quiet.” she shrugs. “It’s nice. Not to have to talk all the time. Especially when I’ve been talking all day at work.” she says tilting her head and you hum as a response.

Even though you agree with her you really like listening to her talk. Not having heard her for so long while she was away made you treasure the little sounds she makes like laughing or when she says something incredibly dorky or cute. You stare at her as you continue walking.

You missed listening to her.

All of a sudden you feel Laura tucking her hand inside your front pocket as you were walking.

“You trying to steal my money or something?” Laura glares at you and takes her hand out.

“No.” she says defensively. “I’m just kinda cold.” She gets quiet and grumpy and you simply smile before grabbing Laura’s hand and placing it back to its previous position. Laura looks at you with a furrowed brow but smiles. “What about your money? It’s in danger now.” she says teasingly.

“Pff my money’s in my other pocket, not that I’m giving you any ideas.” Laura squints at you playfully and you smirk. She huffs out a smile and leans her head on your shoulder. The way you automatically kiss the top of her head surprises you a bit afterwards.

Laura’s free hand goes to hold yours over her shoulder, keeping her fingers warm as you continue walking and you don’t mind being this close to her.

You don’t mind it at all.

-

You’re eating in Carmilla’s bed. Finally taking your work shoes off along with your blazed and unbuttoning your shirt a bit feels like a huge relief.

You’re super glad Carmilla called for the take out to be delivered instead of walking all the way there and back.  You’re chewing happily on your food, satisfied with your choice in chicken and Carmilla seems to be eating happily too while looking at you.

She’s been doing a lot of that lately.

You mumble trying to get her attention when one of your noodles is super long and she laughs at you being wide eyed trying to slurp it whole. Once the end of the noodle finally appears from the bowl Carmilla dashes forward and catches it in her mouth, chewing on it as she gives you this victorious look. You squint at her, trying not to smile as she smirks and continues to chew until she’s face to face with you. She bites the noodle cutting you loose and wiggles her eyebrows at you.

You laugh hard before looking down at her lips as she continues to chew. You give her a quick playful peck and she hums.

“Mmmm that tasted good.”

“Yeah?” you ask as you continue looking at her lips.

“Mhmm.”

You lean back in, smiling and kissing her again taking your time this time.

“Mmmm so soy saucey.” she says and you giggle before licking the taste off your lips. She stares at you while you do it.

-

God, the way Laura tastes is so good. It’s intoxicating you, you’ve accepted that by now. She’s oddly someone you really enjoy kissing, which is not normal for you but god you don’t care at all.

You can’t help but stare at the way she licks her lips after kissing you. The sight makes you lick your own by how much you want to taste them again.

Laura’s lips that is, not the soy sauce.

Laura’s lips that you’d seriously missed for these past few weeks, especially the past few days that you hadn’t seen her.

You lean in bumping foreheads with Laura and she smiles at you, her smile lightening as she mirrors your eyes and looks down at your lips. The strange feeling that keeps pulling you into her is unbearable and you kiss her, indulging in how good it feels.

You lose track of how long you’ve been kissing before she pulls aeay.

“Mmmm..as much as I like this, I kinda want to finish eating first you know.”

“Really?”  you hover closer to her. “You sure?” you say as low and raspy as you can almost like a purr, and you slowly kiss her again.

“Mmmmf that’s not playing fair.” she says against your lips and you smirk.

“Whaat?” you say innocently as you kiss her again. “Just for a few more minutes.” another kiss and Laura hums into it. You keep kissing slowly but heatedly and the mix of tastes and feelings is taking over you. Those few minutes ended up being way more than just that.

After the kisses started getting more slow and tender, the sound of a text breaks you two apart. Laura looks at her phone to see who texted her. “Hmmm.” she hums a bit angrily and puts her phone aside, turning back to you.

“Who was it?” you ask and Laura leans forward slowly pecking your lips again.

“It was-” another peck. “my dad.” she says before pulling back and going back to the food with a frown. “It’s cold now.” she says while pouting.

“sorry cutie.”

“It’s fine.” she sighs and grins, leaning forward as she chews on her noodles. “It still tastes good. Although I think it needs a littleeeeee..” she kisses you again and you smile into it. “Mmmm yup, still good.” Laura leans back and chews with a playful grin.

You go back to eating and open your bag of egg rolls, slowly eating them while teasing Laura, moaning at the taste of them. She whines and you end up giving in giving her half of one.

“So.” you start. “Everything okay with your dad?” you take another bite from your eggroll.

She sighs dramatically as she continues to chew on her food. “Yeaaah...just...same old same old. He was just asking why I wasn’t home. Which is a miracle because he’s rarely at home at night or any time of the day really.” she shrugs and glances at her phone. “I don’t feel like talking to him right now.”

You nod with an understanding hum and finish your last eggroll. “Well you can tell him you’re busy keeping me company tonight.” you say raising your chin at her and she bunches up her face with a smile.

“Am I now? I don’t recall agreeing to this.”

“Well,” you shrug slightly as you try and seem cool and not look at her. “I _did_ pay for your ticket and this _very_ expensive meal.”

She scoffs at you and puts her empty plate aside on the nightstand. “Sounds like you’re bribing me, Karnstein.”

“Perhaps.” you say as you lean closer and brush some hair behind her ear. “Or maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now.” Her eyebrow twitches up and her cheeks start turning pink but her expression doesn’t change, she just keeps her gaze on your lips.

“Is it okay?” she pauses but goes on as if to clarify. “If I stay I mean.”

You furrow your brow at the unexpected question but nod. “Of course.”

“Okay.” she says, still looking down at your lips. “Thank you...I don’t...I don’t really wanna be home right now.”

You stare into her eyes and find how tired they are. You gently brush some hair out of her face. “That’s okay.”

She sighs and blinks a few times. “I just...when I’m there I’m either alone and stressing out or with dad and stressing out. All I ever do there is think about everything I still need to do and when I’m alone it drives me insane to think about all that but when I’m with dad he’s always working or on his phone or reading something work related or asking me about everything that still needs to be done, everything I still need to do and-”

“Cupcake.” you stop her from her ranting that was quickly getting faster. “It’s okay. You can stay. I don’t mind.”

“Even if i’m too tired to have sex?” she says as she finally meets your eyes and pouts.  You chuckle.

“Even if you’re too tired to have sex. You specifically said no physical plans tonight remember?”

“Well, yeah but, that was yesterday and I thought you thought I was kidding with all your intense looks and kisses tonight.” You grow quiet at that, realizing how many looks and all the times you kissed her tonight. “Thanks for taking my request seriously though. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

You smile wide at those words. “You always say that.”

“Well yeah but i always do it, so.” she smiles.

“Whatever you say, Cupcake.” She giggles and yawns for like the thousand time tonight. “You should sleep. I don’t want to be keeping you up like your stupid job.”

“It’s not stupid.” you give her a pointed look before standing up from the bed. “Ok, so maybe it’s a little stupid and not my favorite thing but it’s important and I like it.”

“Yeah yeah, sweetheart.”

She sighs. “Can I borrow some clothes? These are gonna be uncomfortable to sleep in.”

“Why sleep with clothes at all?” you say teasing.

“Uh..well uh..”

“I’m kidding, cupcake. Here.” you toss her some plaid pajama pants and a baggy Rush band tshirt.

You undress and stay in your underwear and tshirt before crawling into bed. Laura joining you once she finished changing in front of you.

You obviously starred.

How could you not? She’s beautiful.

Laura gets under the bed sheets with you with sleepy eyes and is lying closer to you than usual.

She doesn’t ever sleep close to you. Not usually anyway. You’d only sleep pressed against each other after having sex or waking up tangled in each other.

You turn on your side and stare at Laura who’s eyes are already shut. You reach forward and soothingly brush her soft hair. She doesn’t complain or move to stop you and you’re confused as to why you ever thought she would.

Why are you always touching her so much anyway? What are you doing?

She takes a deep breath before nuzzling closer to you, her nose pressed against your own.

“You work tomorrow?” you ask out of the blue and she nods. You don’t say anything for a few seconds before starting to ask another question. “You’re leaving soon again right?”

“Yeah in like a week. Dad’s the one handling it though.”

“Hmm.” you start to think about how far away she’ll be again and you get a little upset.

Mostly because she won’t be so easy to access and all that.

No easy great sex and all that.

You think she notices the change in your mood because she snuggles closer, wrapping her arm around you. You close your eyes and just let yourself enjoy the embrace. You tilt up your face a bit and rest your lips against her forehead, smelling her familiar coconut shampoo. You think Laura’s almost asleep when you mumble against her forehead.

“You better not wake me up tomorrow.”

Laura huffs a genuine laugh and the two of you go back to falling asleep.

-

You get woken up by your alarm ringing the next morning and you quickly stop it, struggling to reach it from how Carmilla’s arm is wrapped around your waist.

You look down at a sleeping Carmilla and start to inch your way out of her embrace, stretching once you get up.

You try and be as quiet as you can as to not wake her up. You take a shower and get dressed before reaching into your bag and taking out a new toothbrush with a victorious grin.

You brush your teeth and laugh victoriously at the mirror. Thanking your past self for being so smart and carrying your own toothbrush around now.

You go to grab your phone afterwards and thought Carmilla was still asleep.

“Laura?” she mumbles sleepily with a confused face.

“Heeey.” you say gently. “Go back to sleep.”

She grumbles and stretches in bed before looking around a bit lost and then at you.

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost 8.” Carmilla scratches her head, her sleepy eyes almost shut. “I took a shower and ate one of your cookies from the fridge. I hope you don’t mind.”

-

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” You say as you  finally register that Laura’s ready to leave.

You wish you could spend more time with her.

Laura giggles. “You told me not to, remember?”

You pout sleepily and remember saying those words to her. Laura walks up to you in bed and leans over the bed to peck your lips.

“Go back to sleep, sleepyhead.” Laura says and starts pulling away.

“Wait.”

Laura turns around and looks at you. You extend your arm to her and she shakes her head smiling before grabbing your hand as you pull her back in. She kisses you softly and after one last peck you hum.

“You brushed your teeth..what a surprise.” you say sarcastically and Laura purses her lips.

“For your information I used my own toothbrush that I’m now carrying around so _HA_!”

You chuckle and run your fingers through her hair, closing your sleepy eyes at the soft feeling.

“I’ll text you later yeah?” she says softly and you open your eyes before nodding. Laura smiles and kisses your forehead. “Bye.”

She walks off and you turn on your side watching her go, sighing once you hear the front door closing.

You quickly fall back to sleep, reminiscing in the feeling of Laura’s gentle touches and words.

Will’s the one that wakes you up later on in the day and you groan, throwing a pillow at him.

“Come on, that’s no way to treat your little brother.”

“You are not my little brother. You’re an asshole, that’s what you are.”

“True, but let’s skip those facts and go straight to this new and important one I’m going to share with you oh mighty and grumpy woman.”

You grunt into your pillow and gesture for him to go on with your hand.

“I’m going to be in Philly for a while. Just got called in for a show.”

“Hurray. Can you go away now?”

“Nop, I’m not done. The dude who got me this gig is considering making some serious business with us, which is some serious cash. Which means I’m totally pumped and leaving tomorrow to go start setting everything up for the show.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Mhm.”

“And it’s some big shot guy?”

“Yeap.”

“That’s actually pretty cool, William.”

“I know. So, this being said. Please take care of all the small gigs on my calendar for around town.”

“Woah woah woah, you’re making me do your job for you _too_? I already do the one over at the tv broadcast for you.”

“Not for me, for you. You got the experience. You grow as a sound guy. Now keep growing as I take our business into the big bucks!”

“Ugh. Fine, but only because it’s for our business’ progress.”

“Cool. Well, I’m taking my van today to stock up and leave tomorrow.”

“Okay. Cool.”

“Awesome.” he says before slapping your ass and jumping off the bed.

“Don’t touch me.”

He laughs and walks away closing the door with a “Sweet dreams, kitty.”

Will leaves the next night and it’s been awhile since you’ve had the whole apartment to yourself again.

You had forgotten how lonely and weird it feels when he’s not around. This time it feels different from the usual times he’s left though, and you can’t help but notice you feel like you’re alone.

You brush it off and go to bed. It’s just the first night, first nights are always weird and quiet.

The next day you’re off work and with nothing to do but lay around the house you feel kind of empty.

You text Laura to see what she’s up to but she just replies saying she’s busy working like usual, and you push aside the possibility of her keeping you company today.

You instead choose to go hang out at Kirsch’s like you usually do when Will isn’t around.

Kirsch isn’t being his usual self today though, and you can’t believe you had forgotten which date was coming closer.

SJ died around two years ago and even though Kirsch seems fine most of the time, whenever the day comes he’s noticeably struggling. You remembered the day was closing in when you saw that the fruit shaped magnets on his fridge were gone. He stole them at a frat party with SJ and kept them as souvenirs. He’d always take them down around this time.

You stay for the most part of the day at his place, only leaving when he assures you he’s fine and just going to bed.

But when you get home to your empty dark apartment you regret leaving his place at all. It’s never bothered you this much, how empty the apartment feels.

Usually you’d just spend most of the time out of it and partying with Kirsch. Occasionally bringing back girls and getting drunk to fill the void in this place when Will’s gone.

You sit on your futon and start to think about those facts from the past.

The last time you got drunk and brought someone home to fill the emptiness of the apartment, you met Laura.

You could remember that day almost perfectly. Which makes no sense. You used to not even remember spending the night with most girls, or even their names for that matter.

But Laura’s different. Laura’s been different since the beginning and she’s made her presence in your space clear and normal to you.

No one’s ever done that.

Sure your ex in high school got way in your space, she literally took everything from you but that was completely different. That girl was a soul sucker.

You huff and shake your head at the memory, standing up to grab a beer from the fridge.

You don’t like thinking about your past. That’s where the past should stay.

_In the past._

You look around your empty apartment as you take a big gulp from your cheap beer. This place sucks when it’s like this.

It’s really...lonely.

You take your beer to your room and shut the door so the presence of the empty space isn’t as big. And after you finish your beer and try and sleep you grow more and more frustrated by the minute.

You can’t sleep.

You sigh and turn over in bed, looking at your phone on the nightstand, the shirt Laura used the other night to go to bed right next to it.

You stare at it for awhile and remember glimpse and pieces of her wearing it that night to bed with you. You didn’t feel empty at all that night.

You reach for your phone and open your contacts, scrolling all the way down to Laura’s and pressing on a new message.

Carmilla(12:08am): Laura.

Carmilla(12:08am): r u still working..?

Laura(12:09am): no, i’m already at home tonight. why?

Carmilla(12:09am): u have any plans tonight?

Laura(12:10am): sleep is my plan so far and i was just in the middle of going to it.

Laura(12:15am): u okay?

Laura(12:18am): Carm?

You stare at the empty space that you haven’t typed anything into yet and the reminder that it’s “empty” doesn’t make the way you feel right now go away. You hesitate to just ask her. You worry your lip as you finally type in a reply.

Carmilla(12:22am): can u come over?

Laura(12:23am): ughhh carmmm i’m really tired. I can’t go do the dirty with u rn.

Carmilla(12:23am): no not that. just come over come over, not come have sex with me.

Laura(12:24am): Ooooh...idk Carm, i’m already in bed. :S

Carmilla(12:25am): it’s fine. good night.

You sigh and put your phone back on the nightstand. You squeeze your eyes shut tight and burry your face deeper in your pillow.

It’s fine. You should have know it’s not our thing to just come over for the fuck of it. It was a dumb thing to ask.

Your phone buzzes and lights up again and you open your eyes surprised. You reach for it curiously.

Laura(12:28am): u can come over here?

“Really?” you say to yourself and gnaw on your lip as you think it through.

Carmilla(12:29am): u’ll still be awake when i get there?

Laura(12:29am): mhm

You sit up in your bed and look around your dark empty room with a worried brow. You text her a reply as you get up and grab your boots and some pants.

Carmilla(12:33am): be there in 20.

-

You pay the cab driver and go up the steps to Laura’s house with a little hesitation. You take out your phone as you stand facing the door.

Carmilla(1:02am): I’m here.

You send the text and look at the door for awhile, considering if you should just call her or not.

She probably fell asleep.

You take a step away from the door and suddenly hear it unlocking before opening slightly. Laura’s head with messy hair and sleepy eyes peeking through the crack. She blinks at you and opens the door wider for you to step in. You hesitate to move, your feet glued to the ground. She’s rubbing her eye while yawning and she stares at you confused.

“You coming in or not?” she says as she starts yawning mid question. You don’t answer and you don’t know why. She stares at you and pouts before reaching for your wrist and tugging you inside. She gently shuts the door behind her and makes her way to the stairs. You walk towards them but stay on the first step, looking up at Laura already going upstairs.

She notices you’re not behind her and turns around squinting her sleepy eyes at you. She stretches her hand at you and scrunches up her fingers as a gesture for you to get to her and grab it. You chew on your lip and make your way up the stairs to her, grabbing her hand once you’re close enough and she turns around to continue walking sleepily.

She guides you to her room and it feels so much warmer than yours did only minutes ago.

She crawls into her bed yawning and lays flat already dozing off. You slide off your boots and consider taking off your jeans but struggle to decide if that would be okay. Laura lifts her head up to look at you with one eye shut. “You want some clothes?”

You shake your head no and she turns around sitting up in her bed. She runs her hand through her hair and let’s it fall flat on her lap. She crawls towards you and stands up from the bed, stepping into your space.

Laura’s in your space again.

You take in some air and she holds both of your hands, rubbing her thumbs over your knuckles as she stares at you. “You sure you’re okay?” You look down at your bare feet and she moves your hands to wrap themselves around her before stepping inside you to hug you. Her head tucked on the crook of your neck and you rest your cheek on the top of her head and sigh.

She steps back holding onto your shirt. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” She says softly and you nod. She takes a step away from you but thinks about it and turns back around to look you up and down. She grins smugly and unbuttons your pants, unzipping them and tugging them off of you. “Stop stressing about it. Come on.” she says as she smiles widely at you and you finally let yourself smile back.

“You weirdo.” you say and she giggles pulling you by the hand to her bed.

“Shut up, I know you were thinking about it.” She crawls into bed and holds her bed sheets open for you to crawl beside her. She covers you with them and adjust herself to get comfortable against her yellow pillow.

You sigh as you feel the familiar warmth radiating from her and you finally shut your eyes because you don’t feel lonely anymore.

You feel Laura’s hand start to gently brush through your curls and it’s so soothing and sweet that you immediately fall asleep.

-

The next morning you’re surprised Laura’s alarm didn’t wake you up for the first time ever, and the fact that she’s still sleeping soundly next to you makes your chest feel strange.

You hear a knock on the door and literally jump at the sudden interruption of you staring at her.

“Laura. Laura you awake??” you hear Mr. Hollis say on the other side of the door and Laura starts waking up mumbling with her eyes closed.

“Yeah, I’m awake.” she says just before her eyes open and find yours staring at them. You both freeze and you can see the panic slowly make it’s way in her eyes.

“Baah I don’t believe you, you little rascal. I’m coming in!”

“No don’-” she starts and she frantically tries to cover you with her big fluffy bed sheets. You duck down and she wraps her leg over you inching you closer to her so that you seem like a part of her under the sheets. Your face flushed against her chest and you hear the door open. You stay completely still as Laura tries to play it cool with her dad. “Dad! I said I was awake! I’ll be right out! Get out!”

“Uh huh. Well...just wanted to make sure. It’s Sunday after all!”

“I know what day it is, dad! I’ll be down in a minute.” she says and you feel the vibrations of her talking against her chest. You close your eyes as you feel her warmth against you and you breath in all that is Laura so close to you. You feel her grip around you squeeze and you grin against her chest. “L-Leave me alone dad! I have to change and stuff!” she says and your hand starts making it’s way up her warm stomach under her shirt. You feel her abdomen tighten against your touch and your smirk only widens. Your hand reaching her breast and you squeeze it.

“Well okidok kiddo!” you hear the door starting to shut. “Make sure your friend comes down to eat pancakes too.” he says before shutting the door and Laura tenses against you.

“Oh my god he knew.”

You crawl from under her sheets and look at her horrified face. “Sorry, cupcake.” you tilt your head at her and she looks at you before shoving your shoulder.

“You suck by the way! Teasing me like that.”

You chuckle and she starts getting out of bed and walking to her bathroom. You follow her and she hands you a spare toothbrush as she brushes her own teeth.

“Come on, it’s pancake day. You’ll love it.” she says before stepping out of her room.

-

Mr. Hollis was surprisingly cool about the whole thing, not making anything awkward or asking questions, which you find so funny since you didn’t even have sex last night.

He serves you and Laura these huge fluffy pancakes and they’re literally heaven on earth. Mr. Hollis keeps telling you stories about he learned to make these pancakes and how good he’s gotten through the years even after Laura’s mom passed away. He said he wanted to keep the tradition going even without her for Laura’s sake and the way Laura smiles shyly at the mention of her and her mother just tugs at your heart strings.

You don’t feel lonely anymore, you feel great in the company of these to huge dorks.

And with all the playful nudges between you and Laura and how the longer you all talk the more comfortable she gets with you in front of her dad. She even rests her leg up on your lap at one point. And you actually got nervous when she stepped behind you and sliped her arms around your stomach, all while her dad was washing the dishes and not looking.

You don’t think she’d mind if he caught you.

-

You didn’t get to see Laura on Monday so you made plans with her to come over to your place on Tuesday evening but in the middle of the day you went to go check up on Kirsch who hadn’t called you at all since last time you left his place.

And when you get there, he looks like shit. His place is a mess and he says he’s not hungry which is bullshit for you. He tells you he missed college today and you feel bad for him.

You couldn’t just leave him alone like this today. So you texted Laura to cancel your plans.

Carmilla(4:45pm): hey cupcake, i can’t make it tonight. Sorry

Laura(4:45pm): u can’t make it? but it’s ur own house!

Carmilla(4:46pm): no it’s not that.

Carmilla(4:46pm): Kirsch is having a bad day and he really needs me. I can’t just leave him.

Laura(4:47pm): oh. that sucks. is he gonna be okay?

Carmilla(4:48pm): yeah he’ll be fine. he just can’t be alone rn. I’ll ttyl okay?

Laura(4:48pm): yeah sure! dont worry about it! Tell Kirsch i say hi.

“Hey Kirsch?” he looks up at you from where he’s sitting on the couch. “Laura says hi.”

He actually smiles and thank god he’s still himself deep down.

“Little hottie? Oh man tell her i say hi back. How is she anyway?”

you shrug and look down at your phone. “Fine I guess.”

“Is she texting you right now?”

“Well...not anymore but..”

“Text her back! Tell her to come over!”

“You sure?” you quirk your eyebrows at him and he nods with a big goofy smile. You shrug and tilt your head looking back at your phone. “Alright.”

Carmilla(4:55pm): Kirsch says hi and he’s asking if u want to come over.

Carmilla(4:55pm): u don’t have to.

Laura(4:56pm): no i’d love to! I’ll be there after work. txt me the address?

Carmilla(4:56pm): sure.

-

Laura(6:02pm): have u guys eaten anything?

Carmilla(6:02pm): no. I’ve been trying to get Kirsch to eat but he says he’s not hungry.

Carmilla(6:02pm): he hasn’t eaten all day. im worried about him.

Laura(6:03pm): well tell him in on my way! And I’m bringing some KFC!

Laura(6:03pm): he used to bring me some when we had that class together. (Along with british goods for some reason.)

Carmilla(6:04pm): KFC huh? ur the best cupcake.

Laura(6:05pm): don’t mention it! :) No one can say no to some KFC!

Laura(6:05pm): it’s “finger licking good” after all ;)

Carmilla(6:06pm): oh god that was terrible.

Carmilla(6:06pm): i refuse to text u after that attempt.

Laura(6:07pm): u won’t have to. I’m already on my way! :P

When Laura gets here with the food and some shitty action movies, Kirsch immediately perks up. Laura seems to be able to make anyone feel better with her presence. And after she gets Kirsch to eat while telling him about her terrible day at work and watching a movie with you and him in his couch, she manages to get him to shower.

You and her stay cleaning up his apartment to help him out and by the time you’re both done you’re both exhausted and falling asleep on the couch next to each other. All while watching another movie with Kirsch once he got back from his shower.

What you didn’t know was how happy Kirsch was after seeing the two of you asleep together on his couch.

-

You wake up with some neck pain as you slide away from Carmilla on the couch. You heard someone making noise in the kitchen and decided to get up and see how Kirsch was doing.

You stretch as you step into the kitchen finding Kirsch making some tea and he looks at you with big puppy eyes before smiling at you.

“It’s british stuff.”

You laugh. “Hey Kirsch.”

“Sup Laura. You sleep okay? Sorry about the couch. I didn’t wanna wake you guys up last night.”

“It’s fine. The couch wasn’t so bad.”

“Even with Carmilla?” he asks with a huge grin and you scoff.

“Yeah, especially with Carmilla.”

“Cool.” he says before going back to his tea and sipping it to test out how warm it is. “You and her are always together right?” he says turning to look at you over his tea.

“I wouldn’t say always.”

“Well you spend a bunch of time with each other. I would know.” he says taking another sip and smacking his lips. “You two are pretty close.”

“Close? No, you’re the one who’s close with her. I’m just her--uh...i’m just..”

“Her girlfriend basically.” he says smiling through his tea.

“Not her girlfriend. Her friend maybe but not that.”

“Well why not?”

“Because-” you look away as if checking to see if Carmilla could hear you in her sleep. “Because we’re just...not like that I guess.”

“More like she’s not like that huh?”

“Yeah…” you say as you play with the towel by the fridge.

“Would you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Date her?”

You grow quiet and Kircsh simply waits for you to answer as he sips his tea.

“I would.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you two and he offers you some of his tea but you shake your head no. He puts his mug away and stays looking at the sink for awhile.

“I think i’d be awesome if you did.” he turns around and gives you his signature puppy smile. “Date her I mean.”

You chuckle and shake your head.

“Yeah well...she’s not that type of girl.” you say and start playing with the hem of your shirt. “Kirsch?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about SJ.”

He goes quiet and a bit stiff but quickly relaxes and bobs his head. “thanks, little hottie.”

“It’s okay to move on.” you say and he gives you the saddest heartfelt eyes you’ve even seen. “and it’s okay to be sad too.” you say leaning on the counter a bit with a tight lipped smile. “You’ll be okay no matter what. You’ve got Carm and me and a bunch of other people who care about you, just as much as SJ did. And what happened to her was never your fault.” His eyes start to tear up and his chin literally quivers as he nods at your words.

“Thanks, Laura.” he says as if trying to hold in a sob and you step closer to him and hug him.

“You’re not alone big guy. You’ll be okay.” he sniffles and keeps nodding harder before wipping at his eyes and hugging you back tightly.

Once you let go he laughs a little at you. “Man you’re way better with feelings and stuff than Carm is.”

You laugh back at his words. “She tries! Cut her some slack.” he continues to laugh lightly and ruffles your hair.

“Thanks, Laura. Seriously. You helped me a lot last night.”

“Don’t mention it.” you give him a smile and step away. “I’ve got to go now though. Have to go home and change to go back to work. Finish up some stuff before leaving on Friday.”

“You’re leaving again?” he asks surprised.

“Yeah. Just for a few weeks. I’ll be back by the end of the month.” you say and head to the door. “Bye Kirsch! Don’t be so hard on Carm okay?”

“I’ll do my best, Laura.”

-

“Hello?”

“Hey, Cupcake. By any chance, can you come over here and lend me a hand again?”

“Come over where? Where are you?”

“Uuuh I think I’m two blocks away from my place. Kirsch is drunk. Also heavy, he’s really fucking heavy.”

“You’re carrying him?!”

“Yeah.” she sounds like she’s struggling. “So can you?”

“I’m on my way.”

You hang up and slide on some sneaker before you dash down your stairs and out the door. You took a cab and went around the block until you found them.

“Stop stop stop!” the cab hits the brakes and you open the door. “I’ll be right back.”

You dash towards Carm who’s trying to get Kirsch to stand up from sitting and laughing at himself.

“God damn it, beef cake!”

“Carmmm you look really tall right now.” he says and giggles and you step next to her.

“How much did he drink?”

“I don’t know. He called me an hour ago and I came to get him as fast as I could.”

“Crap.” you say as you look at the shape he’s in. “Okay, you grab one arm and I’ll grab the other one.”

You and Carmilla lift him up and help him to the cab. Carmilla gets in first making sure he doesn’t hit his head on the ceiling and you go in last, closing the door.

“Riverton Street please.” you say as you comb Kirsch’s hair back. “Oh, Kirsch.” you say worried about him. He seemed like he was better two days ago.

Once you get there and pay the driver, you and Carmilla try and carry Kirsch up the steps to her apartment.

Shit.” she curses as she almost looses her grip on him and Kirsch starts mumbling.

“I’m sorryyyy.” You and Carmilla stop going up the steps and look at him. “I didn’t mean to bother you guys. I couldn’t stay there. I didn’t wanna be alone in my apartment. Too many things reminded me of SJ. Why’d she have to gooooo!” he sings out the last part loudly and you and Carmilla shush him at the same time.

She rolls her eyes and keeps pulling him up the stairs. She manages to open the door and push it open with her foot. “Kirsch, you need to calm down. Like now.”

“Okay Carmama.”

“What?” she asks confused but shakes it off. “Nevermind, come on, let’s get you some water.”

You and Carmilla try to sober Kirsch up. He started laughing at Carmilla being so grumpy and tried to take some pictures of you and her on the futon. He seemed okay after awhile and left, saying he was going to go pee.

But you and Carmilla noticed he wasn’t back yet so you went to check and he had crashed in her bed. Carmilla let out a long sigh and shook her head.

“That idiot.”

“Don’t call him that. He’s drunk.”

“Ever the more reason to call him an idiot.” she says as she turns and heads to the kitchen, grabbing a beer. You give her a pointed look. “What? I never said I wasn’t an idiot too.”

You giggle and she offers you a beer which you take and head over to the futon. Carmilla follows you and sits down next to you.

“So much for that.” she says and you sigh tired. “Sorry to bother you tonight cupcake.”

“It’s okay. Kirsch needed our help.”

“Yeah. Now look at him. He’s sound asleep and hogging my damn bed. Figures.” she says taking a swig of her beer.

“At least it wasn’t all bad.” you say as you look at his phone with the newest picture of you and Carm on the futon as you and Kirsch laughed at how grumpy she was. You show her the picture and she tries to look annoyed but the smile she’s trying to hide is obvious.

“That’s a terrible picture.”

“Is not!” you say and take out your own phone. You start going through the pictures you’d send LaF and Perry while you were over in Europe and Carmilla would actually laugh at some of the faces you’d make. “See, _THESE_ are terrible pictures. Not that one.”

She leans her head in her hand, her arm over the top of the futon. “I like those pictures.”

You look at her and she’s looking down at your phone with a small smile. “Really?” you say before turning on the camera and making cross eyes with beaver teeth and show it to her. “How’s that one then?”

She barks out laughing and you join her, leaning your head on the back of the futon.

“Send it to me later. I’ll make it my lock screen and never have a dull moment again.”

“No way.”

“Would you rather I make my lock screen one of those pictures you sent me while you where away?” she says teasing you and you blush hard.

“No!” she smirks.

“Then send it to me.” she says leaning into you while watching your phone in your hands.

You growl at her but send it anyway along with typing “I’m still prettier than you.” and she checks her phone and laughs at the message. She looks tired and with the night you two have had you’re not that surprised.

What you hadn’t noticed was the fact that you two slowly got closer to each other on the futon. Your hand on her thigh, her knee pressing against your leg, her free hand now playing with your hand on her thigh.

She sighs and changes her position, nuzzling closer to you as her head rest on the back of the futon. Eventually her forehead is on your shoulder and she’s breathing evenly. You tilt your head and see her eyes are closed, her expression calm.

You don’t want to move her because she looks so peaceful and because really..if you’re being honest, you like being this close to her in such a normal way. You untangle yourself from her though to go and grab a blanket from her room. You come back to her and she’s looking at you with confused tired eyes for leaving but you sit back down and cover her with the blanket. She smiles sleepily at the gesture and goes back to resting her head on your shoulder.

You had leaned your head back to look up at the ceiling as she quietly rested against you, when you feel her tug you down to a laying down position.

You make sure to cover her with the blanket and she mumbles something in her sleeplike state.

“Don’t go, creampuff.”

Your heart soared from her words and you think she probably meant as in right now.

A part of you wishes she had meant it as if not to go to Europe again, but that’s not the case.

You rest your head on Carmilla’s chest and lull yourself to sleep with the rise and fall of it.

-

You wake up feeling some weight on your body, a warm hand pressed against your stomach. At first you were confused as to where you where but once you realized it was your futon and that it was Laura who was lying mostly on top of you, you smiled.

You noticed the blanket on the two of you and wonder how it got there when you feel something vibrating under you. You almost jump up at the sudden sensation but reach in your back pocket and pull out your phone.

Puppy(9:10am): hey dude. sorry for freaking you out last night. I promise I was actually  just having fun at the bar and got too drunk. I already left btw. Didn’t wanna wake u 2 lovebrids up ;) <3

Puppy(9:10am): I may have taken a pic or 2 of u 2. too cute lol!

You snort at that last text and look down at Laura still sleeping on top of you. You run your fingers through her hair and Laura snuggles a bit closer at the touch. You remember the picture from last night, the one that drunk Kirsch took and you’ll never admit how you actually liked it.

You wish you had pictures that seemed so normal like that one with Laura. You wont ever ask Kirsch for them though.

You get an idea and look for your camera in your phone. You take a picture of Laura sleeping on top of you and she looks so adorable that you can’t help but chuckle. You went to take another one while making a disgusted face and Laura suddenly moves against you. You quickly look over to see if she’s waking up and your phone snaps the picture.

“Shit.” you whisper but Laura doesn’t seem to wake up, and when you see the picture of you staring at Laura as she sleeps beside you, you really have to admit.

You really love that picture.

After all Laura’s leaving today. You really don’t want to waste this moment with her.

And the fact that you acknowledge the thought makes your heart drop to your stomach.

 

_Wait._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u want to ask stuff my tumblr is http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/ ;)


	13. Cold Cocoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of them start getting some distance, and it's not just because of the Atlantic Ocean.
> 
> (also warning for some barfy bits. It's mostly implied!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, yes it's been almost 2 years i know. I'm sorry!! On the brightside! I just graduated from my BFA and came out to my family/everyone! It's going great! Honestly I might've forgotten about a few things along the way BUT ALAS. I ALWAYS DELIVER <3 Also!! I just want to let ya'll know i read all your comments! They're what kept me going honestly. Love you guys! May the gays bless your days!
> 
> Quick refresher for the memory: Laura's going to Europe again, Kirsch was having a meltdown because of SJ stuff and Hollstein took care of him. They fell asleep on the futon and Carm is starting to realize things were getting domestic and fluffy. 
> 
> If you wanna see ma gay ass face in a suit/ my coming out animation here's a link to the post: http://esacharminga.tumblr.com/post/162986684843/esacharminga-guess-who-got-her-bfa-and-came-out

 

 

 

> _Alone: (adjective)_
> 
> _having no one else present, on one's own._

* * *

 

 

The first thing you hear is an alarm going off in the distance which you recognize as your phone. You squint your eyes as you try to adjust to the lighting in the living room and remember where you fell asleep last night. You notice Carmilla was stuck under you this whole time. You’re about to apologize for your phone ringing like always but she’s already wide awake. She looks either shocked or terrified while she stares at her own phone screen.

“Carm?” you feel her twitch but she hasn’t looked your way yet. “What is it?”

She finally stares at you as you try to rub the sleep from your eyes. You furrow your brow at her when she doesn’t respond but her phone chimes in her hand and startles her. You watch her eyes moving as she reads.

“Kirsch threw up in my bathtub.” she finally says and you snort at that before scrunching up your face.

“Ew. Wait is he still there?”

“No... He just left.” she replies still seeming odd and stiff.

You realize you’re still on top of her. _That’s probably why she’s so stiff, she must’ve slept so uncomfortably_. You get off of her and finally stand, stretching your arms up with a whine. Carmilla is still staring at you weirdly and it should worry you but you think maybe she’s just imagining all the possibilities of where else Kirsch could’ve thrown up in so you brush it off.

“I gotta go. My bags are back home.” you say as you tie your hair up in a messy ponytail while searching for your phone somewhere on the couch, finding it instead in your back pocket. You go to get your shoes and turn to face her while sliding them on. “You need any help cleaning up Kirsch’s bro spill?”

Carmilla shakes her head. “No. It’s fine. He probably cleaned it up himself already.”

You nod to yourself as you stare at her while tying your shoelaces. She’s being weird. Your thoughts are interrupted by your alarm ringing again in your back pocket so you quickly take your phone out.

“Shit-” you start opening the door and stepping outside. “-gotta go. See you when I get back, Carm.”

She replies with a small “yeah” and you smile softly at her before closing the door. You start running down the steps praying that there’s a cab nearby. You really didn’t mind coming by last night to help with Kirsch, but you probably should have thought it through considering you are WAY later than you should be if you’re getting on a plane in a few hours. You hail the first cab you see and hop on, quickly telling him where to go. And as the car moved, you looked out the window towards Carmilla’s apartment. You smile to yourself.

It was worth the rush.

 

You look down at your phone and feel some panic bubble inside you. 6:47AM. _Okay...maybe don’t do this again though_.

When you finally reach your house you dash out the cab and nearly trip up the stairs to your room.

“Laura! Where have you been??” you hear your dad yell out from his room and cringe.

“Uh...nowhere dad! Just-just had to get some last minute things at the office!” you lie as you grab your suitcase and look around your room.

“Well hurry it up! I’ve gotta be back home for my skype call in two hours!”

“Okay dad!” you push your door wide open and step into the hall with your suitcase but look at your room one more time. You stare at your bed for a solid moment considering if to take your yellow pillow this time. “Ah what the heck.” You dash to your bed and grab it. “I’m ready to go!”

You both rush to the car and throw the suitcase in the trunk to finally head on. You sit in the passenger seat and look over at the time on the radio. 7:12AM. You let out a breath of relief.

You can totally make it.

You leave to the airport so fast your dad doesn’t even bother picking out a CD for the ride. Then again he’s been talking on his bluetooth for most of the car ride which doesn’t bother you that much since you’re so tired. You wrap your arms around your yellow pillow and love the comfort it gives you. Last time you went to Europe you felt so homesick in that hotel room. Hopefully bringing your pillow along will help with that. In the meantime it sure helps you take a nap till you get to the airport.

Once you finally get there you buy yourself a muffin and some cocoa while you wait to board your flight. You stare at your phone and smile when you remember the picture Carmilla made you send her. You look through the pictures she’s sent you and finally decide to make one of them her contact photo, after all she’s got one for you so what’s the harm right?

You pick one she sent you on your last trip of her grumpily laying in bed.

Your flight is long and thankfully the people seated next to you are a quiet old couple that don’t bother you. You snort when you see one of the movie choices is the Twilight movie sequel and you laugh as you watch it. You could just imagine Carmilla nagging about this sequel sucking and the way they keep representing vampires as sparkly monotone people. The thought makes you end up spending the whole movie thinking of what she’d be saying if she was here.

You’re tired as hell when you finally get to Europe and see that Danny’s there waiting for you again.

“Long time no see, Hollis.” she says sarcastically trying to hide her grin.

You give her a pointed look. “Very funny.”

She chuckles and helps you with your luggage, seeing your yellow pillow.

“You still have that thing?”

“Don’t judge me.” you hold the pillow tightly against your chest.

She shakes her head chuckling. “I guess somethings never change.”

You smile and get in the passenger seat, leaning it back and placing your pillow on your head.

You exhale tiredly when the car finally starts moving. “This is gonna be a long couple of weeks isn’t it…”

Danny hums in agreement, letting you sleep the rest of the ride.

-

As soon as Laura left you stood up and started pacing.

“No.” you shake your head. “No no no no no no. This isn’t what I think it is. In fact I’m not thinking anything at all. Nope.” you pause and stare at the messy futon you slept in with a blanket draping down to the floor. “I am _not_ getting attached.”

You take a step back and sit on a stool by your kitchen island, running your fingers through your hair.

“Laura Hollis is just a girl who you casually have sex with and-and maybe- _sometimes_ , you know by coincidence or something- spend time with. That’s it.” you shrug and tilt your head. “That’s all. Just strangers or-or maybe casual friends who... sleepover and-and...kiss.” You nod slowly as you convince yourself that that’s all there is to you and Laura. You jump when your phone chimes out of nowhere and quickly grab it to see.

Puppy K (9:42am) umm...so i know i just left your place but i maaay haveee left my keys there so like...could you be a bro and let me in my own apartment?

Puppy K (9:42am) OH! AND SORRY FOR RUINING YOUR CUDDLE TIME <3

“Ohmygod.” you slam your phone down on the kitchen island and step away from it. “No. There is no cuddle time. This has got to stop. I just...I just need some time for myself.” you stand and nod to yourself. “Yeah that’s what I need. No Laura. No-” you look at yours and Laura’s empty beer bottles by the futon and quickly pick them up. “-no drinking. Just…” you stare at Will’s bedroom door closed. “Just focussing on all the work I have to get done.” you take a deep breath, standing in the middle of your empty apartment. “Okay.” you go to your room to clean up and start your day. “Yeah that’s it.”

Your phone chimes again and you nearly drop the empty beer bottles. You growl. “ _Definitely_ no Kirsch.”

 

Having weekends off doesn’t help at all with your situation. Sure Friday was fine but now Sunday at 2pm? You’re mind is just all over the place. You haven’t called or texted Laura since she left which should be good for you but, she hasn’t called or texted you either.

So you don’t understand yourself right now because you want her to text you but you don’t want to text HER.

“This is stupid.” You say to yourself as you eat alone at Aunt Annie’s Bakery. “I get why _I’m_ not texting her but why the hell isn’t she texting _me_?!”

A random customer gives you a look because of course you’re talking to yourself in a semi crowded bakery. You would be hanging out with Kirsch but since you threw his keys at him Friday morning, neither of you have spoken. He’d only keep bothering you over Laura all “ _bro I bet you miss her already_.” or “ _Bro so Laura’s with Danny again then?_ ” or “ _Maaan you must be so jelly right now._ ”

And you’re not.

You are totally not _‘jelly’_.

I mean why should you care if she’s probably spending day and night with her, going on coffee breaks together, sharing a bagel, just laughing together because they’re probably having such a freaking good time with each other.  
You angrily bite your own bagel as you glare at thin air.

It’s not like they’ve known eachother forever or anything. Not like that red giant knows all about Laura and how much she loves the cheesecake here and how she slumps into her seat when she takes that first bite off the chocolate cake with the fudge ball on top.

You bite into your bagel again and accidentally bite hard on your finger. “Motherf-” the lady looks at you again and you just growl at her and get up to leave.

It’s not like you care.

-

“I know they’re not exactly your favorite but they’re the closest thing I could find here.”

“Yeah I guess so.” you say as you take another bite from the cookies at this cafe. Your head is resting in your hand as you chew. “There’s these really good chocolate chip ones back home-”

“At that bakery you always go to?”

You nod. “ I always thought they looked too big to be soft but they’re actually so perfect.”

Danny leans forward, resting her elbows on the little table. “You’re feeling homesick already, aren’t you?”

You chew and think about it. “No, I think I’m just thinking too much.”

“You can always call your dad.”

You chuckle. “Yeah I guess. It’s only been a few days though.” you say as you look at your phone again to see no new notifications.

But It’s not him you wish would talk to you. Maybe she’s just busy...She _did_ say she had to do some stuff for Will.

You take another bite from your cookie and look around at the people walking by the cafe. You listen to the semi busy street, the people chatting and walking, the light rain drops falling and the wet tires moving on the street. You remember how Carmilla told you she likes the noise outside her apartment. You smile to yourself and take stuff the rest of the cookie in your mouth.

Maybe you’ll just call her tomorrow.

-

You just started your break at the channel and everything has been running pretty smoothly. Frank has only come in to bother you twice so far and Burt “the new guy” hasn’t ruined anything yet. You sigh and lean back in your chair when your phone starts vibrating. You furrow your brow and look at the screen, that picture of Laura smiling in bed with the visible sun freckles on her shoulder comes up and you feel yourself inhale slowly. You remember when she sent it to you on her last trip and almost smile.

Should you answer?

You think about it for a moment before picking up.

“Hello?”

“Hey Carm!”

You smile to yourself instantly. “Ah, she lives!” you hear her giggling on the other side.

“Barely. It’s starting to get a lot chillier over here and I didn’t bring any gloves to survive.”

“Well use your pockets. Isn’t that the obvious solution?”

“It’s not enough!” she says and you lean back into your chair smiling at Laura’s flustered self. “What about you? Still among the living too I see. Or well...hear.” she says.

“Yeah seems so.”

“How’s work going for you? That new guy still driving you crazy?”

“Actually he’s been behaving today.” you lean forward and look at Burt through the glass in your booth. “Every time he’s about to do something he looks up to my booth as if seeking my approval.”

“Ooh you must feel sooo powerful.”

“I always do, Cupcake.” you smirk and hear her giggling.

“Just like when yo- oh, hold on one sec.” you hear her talking to someone else but can’t quite catch anything. “Hey Carm, I got to go. Work and all that crap.”

“Okay.”

“Bye! Say hi to Frank for me.”

You smile but the call ends and you stare down at your phone. Laura’s contact picture blinking as the call ends. You wonder who Laura was talking to before she had to go. You grumpily tuck your phone in your back pocket.

It was probably Danny.

“Karnstein-” you hear Frank open your door and you swirl in your chair to look at him.

“Yeah?”

“Helen needs you to go down to her dressing room. Something about the mic not looking good with her blouse.”

“Seriously?”

He shrugs. “It’s a weird blouse. She insists you’re the only one who knows how to do it right.”

“Fine I’ll be down in a sec.”

He gives you a thumbs up and goes to close the door.

“Wait Frank-”

“Yes?” he pushes the door open again.

“Nothing just...uh...Laura says hi…” as soon as the words come out of your mouth you internally punch yourself. What does Frank care??

He furrows his brow but grins. “That the girl you brought in a while back?” you awkwardly nod. “She’s funny. I like funny.” He shuts the door and you twirl back around in your seat.

_What the hell is wrong with me_. You think to yourself as you hide your face in your hand. You think about how she called to talk to you even though she was clearly busy and it makes your chest feel weird. _What is Laura Hollis doing to you?_ You slide your hand into your hair and tug at your roots a bit.

Kirsch is just getting things into your head. This isn’t you.

 

You had decided to just stop thinking about it, thinking about _her_. But the next day you just become more frustrated by how _hard_ it is for you. After your shift at work, Kirsch calls you but you don’t pick up. This is all his fault anyway.

You step into the night and start heading home on your own like always. The streets are a bit crowded considering how late it is. You stop walking home and lean against a wall with a frustrated sigh, your warm breath clouding up a bit from how cold it’s out today.

It’s not like you need to rush to get back to your place. There’s nothing waiting for you there...No one.

You look around and see all the ordinary people going on with their happy lives, you see a teenage girl giggling as she walks and talks on her phone.

The smile she had on her face reminded you of Laura.

You groan exasperatedly and take out your phone, starting to search for Laura’s contact.

“I’ll just call her and she won’t answer because she’s busy working with her tall groupy and I can finally be done with all this unnecessary stressing.”

The line starts ringing and you sigh relieved when it stops thinking that you were right.

“Hello?” she answers lowly instead.

Crap.

“You picked up.”

“I did.”

“Why do you sound like that?” you say confused.

“I took the day off cause i’ve been really tired lately.” she grumbles.

“Oh.”

“Mhm.”

You go quiet not having expected her to answer her phone but she doesn’t seem to catch on. Why would she answer if she’s sleeping anyway?

“How’s your day going?” she asks groggily.

“Um...the usual I guess.”

“So, boring interviews and cable arranging then.” she says with a soft chuckle.

“Yeah.” you go quiet again and huff out a breath frustrated with the situation. You see your breath cloud up again. “I’m just...busy, bored and cold.”

“Pretty much the same here.”

“Danny not keeping you entertained?” you poke but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Well no one’s here at the moment.” she replies mid yawn. “What about you, haven’t managed to seduce some naive cute stranger yet?” she says teasingly.

You clench your jaw and decide to poke again. “Haven’t really had the time.”

Laura grows quiet at that and you think you’re about ready to hang up but she finally speaks up again.

“You okay, Carm?”

“Fine.” you try and answer dryly.

You hear some rustling on the other end. “Oh. Well...are you mad at me or something?”

“Why would I be?” you adjust yourself bumping a bit against the wall behind you.

“I don’t know...cause I haven’t been around that much?” she answers unsure.

“That’s not your fault. Besides I’ve been very busy.”

“Okay…”

You clench your jaw and tuck some hair behind your ear. This is how it should be with a fuck buddy, short and simple, no details or ...caring.

Cause you don’t care. There’s no way you do.

It’s not you.

-

You’re sitting up in bed now wondering if something is wrong with Carmilla but she insists that nothing is so what can you do?

“Okay...well um-”

“Listen, I can’t really talk that long. I have things to do.” she interjects.

You raise your hand, shrugging in confusion even though she can’t see you. _Wasn’t she the one who called YOU?_

“Wow, well okay then.”

“Sorry.” she says kind of off handedly and you sigh.

“Don’t worry about it..” you say even more confused. You try and change the subject. “So, how’s Kirsch?”

Carm sighs. “Better I guess. He’s going to class again and eating unhealthy so that’s a start.”

You chuckle lightly.

“Cupcake, you should go back to sleeping...Wouldn’t want Danny scolding you for skipping out on her for nothing.”

“You’re not nothing.” you say nonchalantly back. Your eyes widen in realization of what those words can mean.

Crap.

“If I recall correctly, you skipped out to rest, not for me.”

You swallow your throat dry. “Well yeah but you called me so now you’re a part of it.” you try and joke.

“...Well I don’t want to be the reason for you not getting some desperately needed sleep anyway so...goodnight.”

You sigh a bit sadly to yourself. You’ve been looking forward to finally talking more with Carmilla, and everything just feels kind of...wrong.  
“Okay...goodnight.”

Carmilla hangs up first and you aren’t sure why you were expecting her to say something more. You toss your phone aside and stuff your face in your yellow pillow with a whiney groan.

“You’re not nothing? Seriously?? Pull it together Hollis!”

-

 

You hang up and nod to yourself.

“See. Nothing there.” you push yourself off the wall and start walking home. “ Nothing at all.” you tell yourself and you think this is how it’s supposed to be.

This is you.

 

The next few days you try and stay busy just because. For some reason your body keeps automatically waking you up early so you start working overtime with Frank at the channel handling the morning broadcasts and learning things from the morning sound guy who’s worked here forever. After work, you stay messing around with some new tech that you’ll be using when you start Will’s extra shifts while he’s away.

You think you’re sleeping less because of how busy you’ve been keeping yourself lately plus stressing over everything you’ll have to start doing in Will’s place soon. You’re just so uneasy in bed these days like no position you get into feels right and you curse Will for putting you under all this shit.

All this pressure you keep feeling in your chest.

You roll over in bed and stuff your face in your pillow trying to fall asleep. You get a hint of a familiar smell that’s always kind of been around. You realize who’s scent it is and try not to think about how you always seem to sleep soundly when Laura’s over. You push your face into the pillow deeper with a groan.

“NO. Don’t think about her.” you nearly growl to yourself thinking how those words have become like a mantra the past few days.

_You two are nothing_. You think to yourself. _Friends at best._

**_“You’re not nothing”_** you can still hear her words in your head and it only confuses you more. You’re not getting attached.

 

You break the next week and finally just text her. And it’s a bit bitterly because she hasn’t even tried texting you since your last conversation, which makes no sense. She always texts you or calls or something.

Anything.

You wait for your order of pancakes at your favorite diner. Thankfully Kirsch isn’t working today so you’re left alone to just wait peacefully. You take out your phone and start finally typing.

Carmilla (8:27am) you know, i think you turned me into a workaholic.

Laura (8:29am) what do u mean?

Carmilla (8:29am) i mean that i have never worked so much in my life.

Carmilla (8:29am) honestly idk how u do it cupcake

You wait for her reply but it doesn’t come.

“Seriously?” you whine to yourself a bit mad but just toss your phone on the table, sliding down in your seat with a huff. You stare at your phone quietly, your fingers tapping on the table top.

After a few quiet minutes It suddenly vibrates and you shoot forward to see.

Laura (8:34am) years of torturous practice.

Laura (8:34am) and weekly bathroom breaks for a good cry or 2 lol

Carmilla (8:34am) how honest of you

Laura (8:35am) well what would be the point in lying?

Carmilla (8:35am) idk. Motivating ur fellow citizen to “seek higher things”?

Laura (8:36am) pff NOPE! Turn back while you still can!

You chuckle to yourself and they finally bring you your pancakes.

Carmilla (8:38am) i think i’ll take your advice

Carmilla (8:38am) i miss staying in late. I swear it’s worse than you waking me up.

Laura(8:40am) yeah sorry about that. i really just miss my cheesecake and like, my dad.. and stuff.

-

You stare at what you wrote, your fingers frozen over the the letters not really sure if you should send what you really want to say.

**_‘And you, I miss you.’_ **

You sigh and look up at the still empty meeting room. The first meeting of the day should probably start soon and surprisingly Danny isn’t here yet either. You feel your phone vibrate and look down.

Carmilla(8:41am) i can go check on your dad and favorite cheesecake if you want

You smile to yourself, deleting what you had originally written.

Laura(8:42am) hahahaha no it’s fine i’ll live. Just a few more days and i can get back to everything

And by everything you mean sleep, warmer weather and..her..

Carmilla(8:43am) so to being a workaholic here instead of Europe?

You scoff and squint your eyes as you reply.

Laura(8:43am) rude. But like probably true

Carmilla (8:44am) i don’t get how u can just stare at papers all day like what kind of poor little gay human would enjoy such a dull job ;p

Laura (8:45am) it has it’s perks! Not everything is paperwork. I meet new people and get to use the internet whenever I wanna so ;B

Carmilla(8:46am) new ppl huh?

You look up when the door opens and in walks a girl with a bag. She starts taking out her laptop from the bag and putting everything up. She either hasn’t noticed you sitting at the end of the table or didn’t care enough to greet you.

Laura(8:46am) yup! Like right now! This girl called Mel is about to start a meeting with me and the gang.

Carmilla(8:46am) Mel huh? Is she hot?

You look up and stare at her up and down wondering and she suddenly looks your way.

“You lose something, Lois Lane wannabee?”

You flinch awkwardly. “Um-- no just wondering what you’re up to.”

“Of course you are.” she looks away and keeps organizing her things. You look back down at your phone ashamed and intimidated.

Laura(8:52am) I mean kinda but like idk she looks like she’d love to beat me up and not in a kinky way.

Carmilla (8:52am) kinky way huh? ;)

Laura (8:52am) not what i was trying to say here!

Carmilla (8:52am) send me a pic, i wanna see too

You slyly glance up and raise your phone a bit. You snap a picture and the sound goes off. Your eyes widen and she’s looking at you angrily confused now.

“What are you-”

“Nothing!! I was just-- taking a pic to show Danny how empty this place is right now! Just- keep doing what you’re doing!”

You lower your phone and send the picture with a slight shake of your head.

Laura(8:54am) -download image-

Carmilla(8:54am) hmmm i see what you mean

Laura(8:54am) no more pictures for today! She caught me :x

Carmilla(8:55am) she’s kinda hot tho.

You hear the door open and the gang starts to walk in along with Danny. Her and Mel give eachother a cold once-over and woah what was that all about?

“Hello, Mel.”

“You’re late, girl scout.” she turns to the room instead of letting Danny reply. “All right let’s get things running here already. I don’t like wasting time, time wasted is time somebody else could have used doing anything else but this. I’m Melanippe, Mel for short.”

Barbara, one of the members of the company, raises a finger and opens her mouth but Mel interrupts her.

“Ah pah pah! I don’t care who you are or what your name is. All I care is that my boss Mr. Vorden-Burp wants to do business with you instead of those Corvae goons. He’s obsessed with taking that place over and I’m obsessed with not letting that happen so-” she presses a button on her small remote and the projector comes to life. “Let’s start talking, new possible business associates.”

She starts explaining her plan for both companies benefit and you feel your phone vibrate again.

Carmilla (9:02am) still, i’d rather you beat me up instead. kink master ;)

Laura(9:02am) CARM

Carmilla(9:02am) what? Too forward? You gonna punish me for it? ;)

Laura(9:02am) CAN U NO T.

Carmilla(9:02am) hahahahahahahahaha.

You put your phone in silent and put it face down on the table with a puffy flustered face. You try and pay attention to Mel’s plan and she’s actually got most things covered except for employee benefits. When she’s finishing up her points you shake your head to yourself and interrupt her.

“No that’s not right.”

She gives you a look of disbelief. “Excuse me? Who said you were the brains of the project here.”

“Actually, I kinda am.” you straighten up in your chair and roll it closer to the table, leaning your elbows on it. “I’m here representing the head of Le Fanu Industries --Laura Hollis by the way- and I gotta tell ya; your plan is great for gains and all that but..not so great for the employees doing all the delivering.”

“Well a small sacrifice for a bigger gain. I’ve gone around it and this is the best way for both our companies.”

You shake your head. “I don’t think so... If our own people aren’t taken care of then what kind of future can we hope for the company’s deal? Workers need their vacations and days off, BELIEVE ME I would know. Happy and healthier employees lead to a happy and healthy company and delivery.” you shrug. “Simple as that.”

“But we’d let go 10% of-”

“I don’t care. No gain is worth mistreating people. We’d still have a nice percentage of gain so switch that up.”

She stares at her plan on the projected screen and chews on the inside of her cheek. The rest of the board members look around not sure of what to say but Danny gives you a small smirk and a nod so you grin and interlock your own hands on top of the table with a little pep.

“Do we have a deal then?” you say and she turns around eyeing you a bit.

“Sure. You’re the boss. I hope this doesn’t change Vordenberg’s mind because if I have to deal with Corvae again I’m suing.”

You smile victoriously and nod to her. “Good! Ok guys, meeting adjourned! Who’s up for lunch?”

 

You and Danny spend the whole night working out the best way to explain the changes to Mr. Vordenberg and their long term benefits. You finally leave the office around 7am the next day. Danny insisted on giving you a ride but you said you’d take a cab instead. She stayed behind proofreading everything you had before sending it all out to your dad.

You’re waiting for your cab outside trying to get some sun when your phone starts vibrating in your bag. You grab your phone and try to answer it but your gloves won’t let you press the green button. You bite on your glove to slide your hand out and quickly press answer.

“Hello?”

“Laura?”

“Yeah, Carm? Wait, isn’t it like 3am over there??”

“I don’t know.” she slurs out and you huff out a smile finally understanding.

“You’re drunk.”

“I never said that.”

“Believe me you didn’t have to.” you say almost chuckling.

“Am I that transparent?”

You chuckle. “No. I just...had a feeling.” you try and keep your smile from widening. You see your cab pull up and start walking towards it.

“I feel like the world is spinning.”

You sit in the backseat of your cab and cover the phone with your hand as you tell him where to take you.

“I can imagine.” you reply.

“I also feel like it’s been forever since you’ve been gone.” she says lowly and you blink a bit surprised.

“It’s only been like a week and a half, Carm.”

“It feels like way more than that.”

You chuckle and shake your head, the line going quiet for a moment and when you’re about to speak she beats you to it.

“When are you coming back?” she says softly and your heart thumps harder all of a sudden.

“Soon.” you reply just as softly. “I’ll be back in no time.”

“How soon is soon? When will you be back _here_?” she says and she sounds drunk and vulnerable and it tugs at your heartstrings.

“ _Friday night_ soon.”

She hums and goes quiet again. “When’s Friday night then?”

You chuckle to yourself but try not to let Carm hear you. “Friday would be two days from now, Carm.”

“Oh.” you hear her take a deep breath and go quiet again. “Wait, is it two days for you or for me?”

You laugh lightly at that but answer. “Two for you, one and a looong looong flight for me.”

“So 48 more hours till you’re with me again?” she slurs and takes a bit of time to say 48 hours as if making sure in her head.

“Something like that, yes.”

“Okay.” she says and you smile into your phone because drunk Carmilla is the most adorable needy thing ever. “So I’ll see you when you comeback then?”

You laugh again. “Yeees Carmilla you’ll see me when I get back. I promise.” You stare out the window and see the now familiar park near your hotel.

“Good…” she sighs deeply. “I miss you.”

She catches you off guard and you’re speechless.This conversation sounding much more intimate and real than the last phone call between you two. Your cab driver interrupts you letting you know you’re here so you step out of the car.

“I um...I miss you too.” you say a bit flustered and take a deep breath. “I’ll be back in no time Carm.”

“Mhm..” she hums drunkenly.

You pay the cab driver and start walking slowly into your hotel.

“Carm, are you alone right now?” you say now a bit concerned.

“I am yeah.”

“What about Kirsch? Isn’t he with you?”

“No...I don’t really know where he is. Actually...I’m not sure where I am to be honest.”

“What?!” you yell out worried.

“Ow..”

“Sorry…” you step into the elevator and think. “Well what’s around you?”

“I don’t know, darkness?”

“How poetic of you.” you say sarcastically. “Ok but seriously, can you see anything?”

“Um..a bed and-” she cuts herself off and you hear some rustling. “-eugh, some of Will’s dirty socks.”

The elevator doors open and an old man walks in so you give him a small smile and focus back on the call.

“Ok. Carm... are you in Will’s room?”

She goes quiet and you hear more rustling. “Well I’ll be damned. How did you know, Cupcake?”

You sigh in relief and step out of the elevator to your floor. “Lucky guess. Carm can you call Kirsch? Like in a conference call?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Just do it for me yeah?”

She sighs. “Only for you.” she goes quiet for a while and you open your hotel room door stepping in. You take off your gloves and coat and start wondering if the call dropped but then you hear her again.

“-Shut up I already pressed that button, Kirsch.”

“Hello??” you quickly say.

“Laura is that you?” he says.

“Told you I did it right.” she says.

“Kirsch hi! I hope we didn’t wake you up too badly…” you say.

“Nah it’s cool dude! What’s up?”

“You butting in my Laura time that’s what’s up, beefcake.” she says.

“Hey! You’re the one who called me! Which by the way hi hello best friend, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THE PAST FEW WEEKS?? HMM??” he replies.

“I’ve. been. BUSY.” she replies.

“Okay can you guys chill for a sec? Kirsch if you couldn’t tell already, Carm is wasted.” you say.

“Totally wasted.” he replies.

“What!” she says.

“Shh! Guys! Kirsch… could you go check on her please? I’m half way across the world right now so..”

“Why would I let him in?” Carm replies and Kirsch blows a raspberry at her.

“I’m on it little Laura. Be there in 5 no sweat.” he says.

“Thanks Kirsch.”

“No problemo.” he says and hangs up.

“Stupid meathead.” she mumbles and you shake your head as you sit on your bed to take your shoes off.

“He’s your best friend, he’s just trying to help.” you say.

“Well I don’t need his help.”

“Mhmm. Sure, says the girl who didn’t even know what room she was in.”

“I figured it out didn’t I?”

“You did, yeah. Now how about you get up and go open up for Kirsch?” She growls and you smile to yourself. “Good. I gotta go and get some rest. I have a long day tomorrow. You gonna be okay without me?”

“Of course I’m not.”

You laugh and start unbuttoning your pants. “You’re so needy.”

“You’re so bossy.”

“Well I AM kind off a boss around here.”

“You’re a lame bossy boss.”

You laugh again. “Yeah but you like me anyway so who’s the loser here huh?”

She groans and your smile widens. “Fine I’m up. Will’s floor is terrible by the way.”

“You were laying on his floor?”

“Stop asking me things I’ll regret answering later.”

You giggle. “Fine fine.”

The line goes quiet but you can still feel she’s there with you and you really missed this. You really missed her.

“Ugh I think Kirsch is here.”

“Well you go and open the door for Kirsch, okay?” she groans again. “Goodnight, Carm.”

“Good Luck with your thing tomorrow, Laura.”

You smile and hang up with a soft bye.

-

You lean your head on the doorway and talk with your eyes closed. You can almost picture her right here with you while she talks into your ear.

“Good luck with your thing tomorrow, Laura.”

You hear her soft giggle on the other line and love the way it sounds.

You love the way she sounds.

“Bye.” she says softly and goes quiet again and you already miss her giggling voice in your ear.

“God I really love you.” you say into your phone but the line starts beeping and you look at your phone screen a bit woozily. “Wha?... She hung up...”

Suddenly you hear someone banging on the front door and groan.

“Yeah yeah I’m comin’!” you yell out and walk towards the door mumbling to yourself. “Freaking stupid Puppy Kirsch banging on my stupid door and ruining my Laura time like always.” He continues knocking hard on the door and you finally open it. “Shhh!”

“Woaaaah! Step away from the bro, stanky breath.” he says as he holds his nose and walks in.

“Shut up.” you say as you start wobbling your way to your room.

“Man you are so far gone dude. What are you doing drinking alone on a Wednesday night?” he follows you to your room and you push the door open with a groan.

“I do what I want.” you say as you step forward and nearly trip on your bed sheets.

“Yeah I can see that.” he says with a chuckle.

“I did that on purpose shut your mouth.”

He laughs and goes somewhere inside your house coming back with a glass of water and gestures with his hand.

“Gimme your phone.”

-

After hanging up you drop your phone on your bed to go take a quick shower and you can’t stop smiling to yourself.

She misses you. She actually said it.

You finish your shower and put on some pajamas before getting in bed. You notice the little notification light go on your phone and reach for it to see.

Carmilla(7:39am) -download image-

 

You click download curiously and laugh once the picture loads. Carmilla is sitting on the floor next to her bed with no pants on while flipping off the camera.

You put your phone aside on the nightstand and snuggle yourself into bed, your arms wrapped around your yellow pillow. And you think that maybe it’s okay to let yourself go with it. Let yourself just feel the things you’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Just let yourself be happy from things like this. Things with Carm.

You sigh and hug your pillow tighter.

You can’t keep wishing things were different. It’s just not the way you and Carm’s relationship works.

You quickly dial back.

Not… relationship not--ugh. This is going to be harder than you thought. You can’t get things mixed up.

You won’t.

-

Thursday night after work you go back into Will’s room and look through the papers on his desk. You should really try and organize your new work schedule soon. You flip through the papers and sigh. You chose to take them all with you to your living room area instead along with your computer and some brownies. You start writing down all the events you have to do starting next week and all the equipment you’ll have to get from the channel. You look at a certain thing Will wrote down but can’t remember what kind of speaker it is so you click on the search bar on your laptop and are about to start typing it. That’s when you see the auto-suggestions on the search bar with the link to “Orphan Black”.

You stare at it for a bit while taking a bite from another brownie until you decide to click it. Laura’s netflix account is still logged in and you chew on your brownie while you think about it.

You click on season two of Orphan Black and start watching the episodes by yourself. You deserve a break anyway.

 

Three hours later you’re still sitting in the same spot with a few empty beer bottle next to you as you watch Helena dancing with that guy from the bar.

“I wish I could waltz like that in a shitty bar too.” you take another sip from your beer and look warmly at the screen. “You go Helena. You live your love life!”  
You hear your phone ringing and glance at it across the futon and then back at the screen. It rings again and you grunt, pausing the episode to reach for your phone.

“What?!” you say grumpily.

“Why do you always yell at me? I’m your bff bro!” says Kirsch.

“I’m trying to watch something right now.” you say annoyed.

“Really? What chu watching? Can I come watch too!?”

“No, and I’m watching some clones fight science and broken family issues and alcoholism in the suburbs!”

“Wait I think you told me about this...Isn’t that the clone show you watch with Laura?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Bro you can’t watch it without her! That’s like oath breaking!”

You scoff. “Says who? Besides we don’t have any...oath type..thing between us.”

“Bro it’s like the binge watching law! You-” he groans. “-I’m coming over!”

He hangs up and you stare back at your laptop screen. You think you feel something odd in the pit of your stomach but you can’t quite place it.

You think it’s guilt.

Your hand hovers over the space bar but you grunt and shut your laptop instead. Oath breaking? What kind of stupid crap is that?

You hear someone banging on your door and quickly look towards it.

“Dude! It’s me!”

You roll your eyes and get up to open. “Kirsch, I never said yes to coming over.”

He barges in with a paper bag and books in his hands. “No no, you need like some super dating advice like pronto bro. You can’t binge without the bae! That’s like rule number one! Well..maybe number two… Don’t leave your hair in the drain is like number one-”

“Kirsch! What are you talking about? I’m-” you groan exasperatedly. “We’re not dating! How many times do I have to tell you that? You know I don’t do relationships.” you say going back to the futon and taking a swig of your beer.

Kirsch sighs defeatedly and sits next to you. “Whatever bro, but I’m not letting you oath break alone. I’ll take one for the Hollstein team. I’ll tell her I made you watch it.” He says taking out some sushi from the paper bag.

You furrow your brow confused. “Hollstein tea-”

“Sh sh sh! Go on, press play. Betray Laura’s trust and heart with no conscience of your evil hurtful actions.”

Oh for the love of-”

He leans forward and opens your laptop, the screen coming up with the episode you were watching. He presses play and takes your beer bottle from you. “No more drinking you big softie. I know the guilt is killing you but booze is not the answer bro.”

“Kirsch I swear I’m going to-”

“Shhh!” he shoves his boxed sushi at you. “Eat some fancy fish and feed your evil girlfriend self a different way. It’s not healthy bro.”

You roll your eyes and angrily open the box anyway. You bunch up your face at the smell. “Kirsch where did you even get these?”

He shushes you again and points at the screen. “Who’s the hottie?”

-

 

You’re sitting on the ground next to your suitcase which doesn’t seem to want to close properly. You may have bought too many souvenirs for LaF and Perry and well...maybe a thing or too for Carmilla. Totally in a friend way of course.

You stare at the small silver sword necklace dangling from your hand and you whine. It’s totally too much but it looked so badass. You think it would go great with Carmilla’s leather pants and boots but man…

You sigh and deflate a bit defeated.

Yeah no way you’re giving her this.

You glance towards your open suitcase and see all the christmas sweaters you bought for everyone, reaching for the red one to look at it. You unfold it and stretch it out in the air to see it in all it’s glory. You smile wide at the huge grumpy cat on the front.

Now this though, this you’re totally giving to her.

“Hollis it’s me!” you hear along with a knock on the door and quickly stand up to let Danny in. Danny immediately smiles and raises up a bottle of wine and some goodies. “I thought we deserved some off time. Plus you know, a little farewell party never hurt anyone.”

“Thanks Danny.” you step aside so she can come in and shut the door. You sit back down beside your suitcase.

“Still packing?”

“Yeah, this ‘me vs the suitcase’ thing is really starting to tick me off.” you try refolding some of your shirts. “I should’ve never gotten dad those Doctor Who light up slippers.”

“I thought those were for you.” Danny says with a chuckle and you glare at her.

“I have some restraint!” you say shoving your clothes back in your suitcase. “...I ordered mine online as a self christmas present.”

Danny laughs at that and moves to sit next to you. “Here let me show you the way to do it.” she flattens everything and lays on top of the suitcase. “Quick! Zip it up!”

You laugh and try to zip the suitcase avoiding Danny’s limbs and when it works you both start laughing at one another.

“See! We just make a great team with everything.” she says between laughs.

You nod and simmer down. “Yeah we do. Thanks for all the help Danny. Like with everything I mean. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”

Danny smiles and hides her face a bit. “No problem Hollis.” she straightens up and opens the bottle of wine, handing it to you. “You just about ready to go then?”

You take the bottle and take a swig of it bunching up your face a little. “Yeah…” you stare at the necklace now on your nightstand. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but, I can’t wait to be home again.”

Danny chuckles and shakes her head. “I get it.” Danny stands up and grabs your suitcase. “Come on let’s get you back home.”

You lift the bottle of wine in one hand. “What about this? We wasted it.”

Danny shakes her head and gives you a hand which you accept to get up. “That one’s for you. You got a long flight ahead of you. Better to be in a good mood or ready to nap through most of it.”

You chuckle and shrug. “Fair point. Let’s go.”

-

“Oh dear god I hate this.” you say now on hour two of you feeling sick to your stomach to skip the disgusting details. You’re sitting on your bathroom floor, arm resting atop the toilet seat and you hate your life right now.

What a time to get fucking sick.

You hear the trees swaying hard outside from the shit weather and you think today might just be the apocalypse from all angles. You look at your phone by the bathroom sink and try and reach for it but fail. God you feel weak as fuck right now. You hate that you have to resort to this but you think you might just faint and die pathetically on your bathroom floor so shove pride aside for now. You do what seems like a half scoot half crawl towards your phone and weakly grab it. You dial Kirsch and put it on speaker phone.

“Bro #2 here! Over.”

“Kirsch-”

“No no you’re supposed to say Bro #1 here over!”

“Kirsch I’m-...ugh...bro #1 here. Help...uh...over.”

“Haha nice! Wait--help?? What is it dude? Are you okay?”

You shake your head against the wall, your eyes barely being able to stay open. “Not okay. Really not okay.”

“Uh oh. Okay just- just stay put! I’m on my way Carmilla.”

“Bring pepto bismol.”

“Ooh I get it. Right on it bro!”

He hangs up and you sigh deeply. What the heck is going on with your stomach today. It’s being a real bitch. You feel your guts move around and quickly grab your stomach. “Oh god no.”

You try and stand up immediately because nature is calling and it is not feeling patient today at all.

You manage to sit on the toilet and you think you might actually start crying if this keeps up.

“God what did I do to deserve this?” is it because of all the drinking? That’s just fucked up karma.

You hear loud thunder outside and the wind starts howling harder. You lean on your sink to look out the bathroom door and into your room, the lighting flashing outside your window.

The storms is just getting worse...and you can’t help but worry about-

“Puppy dog to the rescue!” Kirsch barges in carrying bags of things and a broken umbrella. “Dude!” he pinches his nose and looks away. “You got some serious stink bomb going on there.”

“You are literally the worst best friend ever.”

“Am not! Look!” he starts unpacking his bags. “I got you some pink stuff and some gatorade to get your strength back and and oh! Some crackers!”

He hands you the pepto and you grab it angrily, slamming the bathroom door shut.

After a few minutes you finally come out all woozy and he hovers around you as if ready to catch you but you wave him off. “Stop doing that!” You weakly drop on your couch and hold your stomach.

“Feel any better?”

You ignore him for a while but weakly reach out to him. “Gatorade.”

He hands it to you and starts taking his soaked coat off. He shivers and shakes around like a wet dog. “Man it’s really pouring out there. Think it’s gonna get any worse?”

You place the gatorade on the floor and try and rest. Staying still and ignoring the shivers down your body. It starts to get easier but you still feel really weak. Your phone starts beeping somewhere and you open your eyes trying to find it.

“Ohp! Don’t worry I got it I got it!” Kirsch says and goes into your room coming back with your phone in hand. He lifts your legs to sit under them on the futon and stares at your phone. “Woah dude, guess it’s not getting any better.”

He shows you your phone screen with a flash flood warning and you start to feel something else happening in your gut. “Give it to me.” you demand weakly with an extended hand and he does.

“I’m gonna go dry up.” the thunder rumbles again and the lights in your apartment flicker on and off, Kirsch staring at them with an open mouth. “And I’ll find some candles and stuff just in case.”

He heads somewhere in your apartment and you’re too woozy to care. You stare at your phone and see that it’s only 8pm. Laura’s probably already on her flight back home.

You listen to the storm pouring outside and the leaves rustling loudly. You stare back at your phone.

Laura’s probably not even half way across the ocean yet. She won’t catch the storm tonight and if she did her pilot would probably switch to a safer route or something.

She’ll be fine.

You’re the one who’s dying here in the middle of Zeus’ against humanity.

You groan and hold your stomach, laying back down to rest.

She’ll be fine.

You grab the gatorade from the floor and take another sip but you can barely swallow it from your nerves right now.

You’re worried.

 

The night goes on and the weather outside only gets worse. Your stomach not really doing that much better either. It’s almost midnight and the storm is now more crazy gushes of wind than rain. You hope Laura isn’t in the middle of all this because it’s getting pretty bad. She said she was coming back Friday but you can’t remember at what time. Technically it’s almost Saturday now but you haven’t heard from her yet and knowing Laura she would’ve bombarded you with texts already.

You’re worried, you admit that. You’re worried sick (literally) and being stuck here in your apartment is only making you even more restless.

You reach for your phone on the floor and dial her number, turning over to face the ceiling on the futon. It goes straight to voicemail and you hang up and dial again. Your foot moving impatiently.

“Hey this is Laura, sorry I-”  
“Ugh! God damn it Laura!” you hang up and dial again, this time gnawing on your lip.

Voicemail. Again.

You furrow your brow worried and take a deep breath trying to calm down. You wait for the beep.

“Hey...um..it’s me. Carmilla I mean. God.” you pinch the bridge of your nose. “I was just calling to see how you were doing. Did your flight go well…? Are you okay? It’s just- there’s this huge storm happening right now and I don’t know if you’re in the states yet or somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean so-” you huff. “Call me when you get this.” you go to hang up but pull the phone back to your ear. “..Please. Bye.” you hang up and huff frustrated.

That was pathetic.

So much for playing it cool. Jesus, you went from ‘hey i’m just curious’ to ‘actually i’m fucking shitting bricks here. Please call me.’ like what the fuck Karnstein?

Maybe you should just send her a text instead..

-

You finally step out of your plane and God was that a bumpy ride.

Your flight got a bit delayed because of the weather but you made it her nonetheless. You stretch with a low groan from your back pain. At least bringing your yellow pillow along helped.

You follow the signs to the baggage claim and wait along with the rest of the passengers. The machine isn’t moving yet so you take out your phone to call your dad instead.

“Wow it’s 1am already.” You turn off the airplane mode on your phone and quickly receive a notification.

Voicemail (2)

You dial your voicemail and a smile starts forming when you hear the voice on the other line.

“Hey snookums! I tried calling you before you got on your plane but I guess I’m too late. I just wanted to say I hope you have a safe flight and that I won’t be able to pick you up tonight.”

Your smile drops.

“You wouldn’t believe the chaos that’s been going on today at the office. Because of the storm our system crashed and well...it’s a mess. I’ve got to deal with it you know? Love you sweetie. Hope you had a nice trip. Call me when you get home.”

You clench your jaw and grind your teeth together. The baggage machine starting to work beside you making noise that you aren’t really registering right now.

You’re really really upset and angry. So much that you might actually start crying.

Now he doesn’t even have the time to pick his daughter up at the airport?! Now he doesn’t even do the little things for you. He doesn’t think about you at all.

He doesn’t care.

“You have 1 new voicemail. To play the next message press 1.”

You’re pushed back to reality with the sound of the robotic woman still speaking into your ear. You wipe a tear from your cheek with your free hand.

Maybe it’s your dad again. Maybe he left another message saying “just kidding! I’m waiting outside for you! Call me when you get here!” Maybe he finished at the office and is on his way.

Maybe he cares.

You press 1 and huff taking a step to stare at the bags now coming through the machine.

Who are you kidding?...He doesn’t care.

“Hey...um..it’s me.” your eyes widen in surprise and you completely forget about the bags moving in front of you. “Carmilla I mean. God.” you smile at that and listen intently to the rest of the message.

Your dad might not care, but Carm does.

“Call me when you get this.” you chuckle and wipe the residue of your tears from earlier. “...Please. Bye.”

“End of message. To play this message press 1. To save this message press-”

You save the message and hang up the call, your smile not wanting to leave your face after listening to Carmilla be so worried about you. You start looking for her contact to text her a reply when your phone buzzes.

Then it buzzes again. And again.

Carmilla (1:04am) hey cupcake. You around yet?

Carmilla (1:04am) it’s almost Saturday. You said Friday right? Where are u?

Carmilla (1:04am) i swear to god if you’re fish food right now i am going to sue your dad.

Carmilla (1:04am) i’m kidding. Don’t be dead or get sucked into the storm of doom.

Carmilla (1:04am) u know.. i liked this way more when you would be the one texting ME over and over, NOT the other way around cutie.

Carmilla (1:04am) did u miss your flight? Maybe you got busy with your red giantess and forgot about little ol’ me over here across the ocean in this apocalypse storm of death.

Carmilla (1:04am) ok no but really please be ok.

You’re smiling so wide it’s starting to hurt your face. You’re getting all her messages at once and it’s so cute and pure that you can’t help but laugh.

Fuck it. You want to see Carmilla. Your dad can go screw himself.

You look up and grab your suitcase, quickly rolling outside where the storm has calmed a bit. It’s mostly just light rain and thunder now so you cover yourself with your yellow pillow and hail a cab.

“The big red brick building on Riverton street, please.” you say with a big smile. The sheer thrill you feel finally saying those words again. That or how super excited you are to see Carmilla again.

God you miss her.

You sigh deeply and stare out the window at the droplets racing down.

You really have to keep your thoughts in check. Man who are you kidding?

You have feelings.

You totally have feelings.

You bump your forehead on the window frustrated. Maybe you can keep this under control. Maybe you’re just way too excited.

 

The cab stops an hour later and as it pulls away you start to rethink this whole idea.

It’s like 2am, it’s raining, it’s Saturday now and Carm doesn’t work Saturdays, she’s probably not even awake.

You blow some air out and straighten up. Screw it. You’re already here just go upstairs.

You do the trick with the buzzer that Carm taught you and start going up the flight of stairs, suitcase in hand.

Suitcase?

Oh God she’s gonna think you’re u-hauling or something.

You start taking a step back down.

Of course she won’t, she knows you just got off a plane.

You take a step back up and stop again.

Wait...the last time you spontaneously showed up you had a super awkward run in and that topless girl was there and bad things happened and…

You bite on your lip and take the last step up the stairs, wheeling your suitcase next to her door.

Maybe you should text first...or...knock?...at 2am?...yeah no.

You sigh and press your forehead on the door, pushing it open and almost falling forward flat on your face. “Holy-!”

You look up and find Kirsch on the futon watching something on his phone with a yawn.

“Kirsch??” he jumps up startled.

“Laura?!”

“Sorry the door was...uh open?”

“Oh, that’s my bad.” he walks up to you and holds the door open for you.

“Where’s Carm?” you ask as you pull your suitcase inside.

“She’s in bed. She’s kinda not been feeling so good.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” he yawns again and looks down at your suitcase, then at you a sly expression coming to his face. “You staying over right?” you shrug and he just chuckles with a nod. “Yup, awesome. Can you cover for me then? I kinda had some stuff I had to do.”

“Uh yeah sure.”

“Thanks little bro.” he hugs you tightly and you chuckle at the sudden affection. “Awesome to have you back.”

He walks out and you shake your head, closing the door. You look around the apartment and it’s so quiet and empty and dark. You leave for a few weeks and this becomes a bat cave, gosh. Then again the storm is still kinda going on. You turn and go to Carmilla’s room gently opening the door to peek inside.

Carmilla’s on her bed curled up and the room is mostly dark minus the bathroom light seeping through the cracked door.

“Carm?” you call softly and step closer. You kneel down beside the bed and Carmilla stirs a bit, lifting her head to look your way. Her hair a bit sweaty sticking to her face and her eyes heavy and lidded.

“Laura?”

You smile. “Hey there sleepyhead.”

“You’re okay...When did you get back?” she grumbles and you rest your head over your arms on the bed smiling more.

“Awhile ago.” you watch her for a moment. “Carmilla Karnstein, were you _worried_ about me?” you tease sofly.

Carmilla’s head falls back on the pillow with a groan. “...Yes.” she mumbles in a tired but serious tone. “How’d you get in?”

“Kirsch let me in...sort of.” She hums weakly and closes her eyes tightly. “You okay Carm?”

 

She moves her head ‘no’ against the pillow. “I feel like shit.”

You sit up a bit and comb your fingers through her damp hair. “When was the last time you ate something?” you ask a bit worried now.

“I don’t know...yesterday maybe?”

“Yesterday??”

Carmilla nods with her eyes still shut. “Wait, Thursday yesterday, not Friday yesterday. Right? Ugh what time is it...”

“I’ll wip you something up, kay?”

“No, I’ll just retch it out.” she says.

“You have to eat something.”

After a moment she nods and seems to be drifting back to sleep. You go to her kitchen and make her some improvised soup with whatever you can find in the fridge and bring it back to her.

You gently sit on her bed. “Come on sit up.”

Carmilla tries to sit up but gets woozy and lets her head fall back down into the pillow with a groan. You tuck one of your hands under Carmilla’s head and help her sit up gently. Carmilla seems dizzy and ends up leaning her forehead on your shoulder.

“Come on, open up.”

She grunts. “You don’t need to feed me like some dribbling child.”

You roll your eyes and hold the spoon near her face. “It’s just food.” she somehow manages to give you a side glare and you give her a pointed look. “Just do it you big baby.” You remember the last conversation you had. “For me?”

**_‘Only for you’_** she had said last time.

She continues to glare at you but opens her mouth and some of the soup drips down her chin. She lazily tries to wipe it and you shake your head with a small smile. You brush your thumb over the side of her mouth to wipe what she missed and Carmilla hums when she finally swallows.

“More?” you ask looking at her caringly and she just opens her mouth again. You giggle feeding her some more soup. Carmilla seems to start regaining some strength and lifts her head up.

“I haven’t had an appetite in forever.” she stares at you with woozy but loving eyes. You stare at her back and grin giving her another spoonful which she immediately accepts and swallows. “What did you put in this stuff anyway?”

“I don’t know, a bunch of stuff. My dad says you can make a soup out of anything.” you say with a shrug and Carmilla huffs out a tired smile.

“I just hope I don’t throw this up too.” she says a bit defeated. “My stomach’s been killing me.” She holds a hand over her stomach with a whiney face and you furrow your brow starting to wonder.

“What exactly did you eat yesterday?”

Carmilla shrugs. “I don’t know...some sushi and fries?”

You raise your eyebrows. “Sushi and...fries?”

“What, I was hungry. And Kirsch brought some over for me from his place. There’s still some left. I don’t really feel like eating anymore of that for like...another year.”

You furrow your brow and hand Carmilla the bowl of soup. You get up and leave a confused Carmilla behind as you go check the fridge. You see the sushi and of course.

It’s supermarket sushi. You flip over the box and look at the expiration date. You roll your eyes.

“Carm these have been expired for 4 days!” you yell back to her room and throw out the sushi before heading back. You stand in the doorframe and cross your arms. “You’re an idiot.”

“How was I supposed to know!”

“By checking the label, dummy!” Carmilla glares at you but stuffs her mouth with another spoonful of your soup making you laugh. “You probably got some food poisoning.”

“Makes sense.” she says with her mouth full.

-

Laura shakes her head and you smirk through your spoon. When you pull it out and look back down at the bowl in your lap you feel your bed dip. Laura gently brushes her thumb over your lips and down your chin getting some of the soup that dripped again.

Your stomach flips and for the first time in days you don’t think it was because of bathroom duty. You look back up at her a bit surprised while chewing and Laura’s just staring back at you with the sweetest most caring smile you’ve seen in weeks. The heat that suddenly rises to your cheeks is weird and intense. You take the little strength you’ve regained and grab her hand tugging it back near your mouth where you suck at her thumb. She tenses up and blushes but her smile only widens.

“Mmm delicious.” you say with a smirk trying to change whatever mood was just there.

“Same old Carm huh?” she says still smiling at you.

“Always.” you reply and grab your stomach with a groan. “I’m never eating sushi again.”

Laura giggles leaning her head on her own shoulder while looking at you. She grabs her shirt and sniffs it with a bunched up face.

“Oh man. Is it ok if I shower?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

She nudges you playfully. “I’ll be quick.” She takes the mostly empty bowl away “Lay down. You should rest some more.” She disappears out of your room again before quickly returning and heading into your bathroom.

You do just as your told and try to not think about the way your stomach grumbles every now and then. You hear the shower starting to run and look to the side, the light from the bathroom seeping into your dark room and you realize Laura left the door open. You don’t know why but your heart starts pounding hard in your ears. It’s like you’re...nervous?

“So why isn’t Will taking care of you?” you hear her say from inside the shower.

You shake yourself back into reality. “He’s still out of town. Besides, he’s not my baby sitter.” you grumpily say back. You don’t like relying on other people.

Laura doesn’t speak again after that and you feel a bit guilty over it. She’s just trying to help. You hear the water stop and Laura sigh deeply. After a few minutes she walks out in a towel mostly dry and you feel your heart race, your lungs filling up with all the air they can take.

Is Laura doing this to you?

She brushes some stray hair behind her ear and looks at you. “Don’t you have family to take care of you?” she says in a gentle tone and you understand that she’s just worried about you.

“No, I don’t talk to them that much.” you say trying to soften your tone. “Cupcake I’m fine I promise.”

She nods and heads out of your room, coming back moments later fully clothed and you’re a bit confused.

“I uh...I came straight here so I have my suitcase with me.” she says looking embarrassed and you nod.

Laura walks towards your bed and lays on the other side facing the ceiling. Her eyes calmly shut as she takes a deep breath.

“How was your flight?” you decide to ask and you can see the way Laura’s smile lazily forms. You feel your own do the same.

“Sucked.”

You hum in understanding. “Get any sleep?”

“Not really.” she says between a yawn and you hum again.

You search under you for your bed sheets and struggle trying to pull them over the two of you. Meanwhile Laura smiles again. She reaches over you and helps, covering you more than herself.

“Next time you should let someone take care of you. Seriously don’t be so stubborn.” she says playfully.

“I’m not even that sick.”

“You’re literally burning up. I can feel it from all the way over here.” she says and blows on you from her side of the bed.

“I’ll be fiiiiiine.”

“I hope so.” she says and her eyes are already shut again.

“Hey?” you say and you see her smile form again.

“What?”

You don’t answer and instead just stare at her. She opens one eye to look back and smiles wider before scooching closer to you. Her hand combing through your hair soothingly, making you shut your eyes but then her touch leaves you again.

“I missed you.” she says.

 

You don’t know if the weird feeling in your chest is because of your stomach problems or the fact that you feel like you want to say the same thing. You can’t really move much since mostly it makes your stomach more uncomfortable so instead your fingers lazily reach out to her and hold onto the bottom of her shirt.

“Laura…” you start.

“Mmm?” she hums tiredly back.

“...nothing.” you don’t say it and instead close your eyes, listening to her calm breathing. “...Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” she mumbles back and for the first time in weeks you feel like you could just drift to sleep and you realize how much you missed this. How much you just missed _her_.

_God_ , you missed her too.

 

 

The first thing you notice in the morning is the sound of light snoring beside you. You quickly open your eyes and squint with the morning light. Your nerves settle instantly when you realize it’s just Laura Hollis. You guess you’d gotten used to waking up alone after so many weeks without her, this girl who’s snoring with her mouth slightly open making you smile to yourself.

She must’ve been really tired after her flight yesterday to be this far gone. It’s endearing though, cute even. You let your head fall back into the pillow and take all of Laura Hollis in. It’s been so long since you had her this close to you, her hazelnut hair messily spread over her pillow, how long her lashes look when her eyes are shut so peacefully, the slight drool on the corner of her mouth.

You snort when you notice that last one.

It feels good to have her back in your bed with you. You snuggle into her chest, your hand slipping under the back of Laura’s shirt finally feeling her soft warm skin again and something in your chest just flutters. You brush your fingers over her skin softly, your eyes shutting at the soothing feeling of it all. The familiarity of how warm she is. Laura suddenly shifts and you halt your fingers a bit nervously.

Nervously?

She drags her hand down the back of your shirt lazily before letting it mirror your own. You feel the tip of her fingers drag along your skin in a gentle gesture.

“Mmm Carm...your fevers gone.” she says in a sleepy voice.

“I didn’t have one to begin with.” you try and argue.

She chuckles lightly. “Sure.”

“I’ll have you know I’m-” you suddenly feel your stomach bubble up. “-oh no.”

“What?”

You quickly untangle yourself from her and make your way to the bathroom, shutting the door hard behind you.

Ok so maybe you still don’t have full bowel control.

“Carm?” you hear Laura back on the bed and groan as you rest your elbows on your knees.

“Shut up.”

You hear her giggle in the distance but she lets you have your moment in peace. When you finally emerge from the bathroom you’re surprised to still see her laying in your bed. You crawl back into your bed a bit confused.

“No work today?”

“Well, yeah but…” she tries to not say anything else but after a few seconds you insist.

“But what?”

Laura sighs. “I’m not going.” You move back to give her a concerned look but let Laura continue. She shakes her head softly. “I did everything dad needed. He can just do the rest himself. I don’t HAVE to be there for that.”

You frown and shrug kind of understanding her point. “Okay. Whatever you think.” You snuggle back into your pillow comfortably and see Laura’s sleepy and somewhat sad smile.

“I don’t know. I guess...being away from him has kinda helped me feel...stronger? Does that make sense?”

You nod against your pillow and just listen to her intently.

“I mean, I get that he can’t always be there for me.” she rambles on like usual and you grin at the fact. “No matter how hard I try to get him to be…” She finishes looking upset so you speak up.

“Your dad has priorities, and no doubt you’re one of them, Laura.” she looks at you and you feel like she wants you to continue. Come to think of it...you two don’t really do much of this kind of talking, but you go on anyway. “He seems like the type of guy to be there when you need him to be.” you shrug a bit. “And maybe right now you don’t.”

Laura nods softly to herself. “Yeah...maybe.” She adds still seeming upset.

You straighten up and lift yourself on your elbow. “Isn’t he there every Sunday with pancakes?” you say trying to lighten the mood with a reassuring smile and a questioning playful nudge.

“Well most Sundays but-” she smiles lightly at that. “Yeah he is.” she nudges you back. “Thanks for that.”

You simply smile in response and this all just feels oddly intimate. It’s strange to you.

Laura looks down at the covers, her index finger playfully drawing a path on them and up your side. “You know, I could just take you out as a reward.”

You instantly slide away and stand up, Laura looking back at you confused.

“Wait- I didn’t mean like right nowwww.”

“Too bad.” you start changing out of your nasty pajamas and into some jeans. “You mentioned food, I’m in and I’m starving.”

“You get up for food and not for me??” she objects while sitting up in bed.

“I’ve gotten up for you.” you say and you furrow your brow at the realization that you actually have.

“Well...true but...come on!” she bunches up her fingers frustrated and you walk up to her while slipping a t-shirt on.

“If I can’t eat you up then i might as well stuff my face with something else that tastes good.” you say and boop her nose teasingly.

“Wh-Who says you can’t eat me up?! Not that I want you to or anything!” she blurts out but gets flustered when she sees your instant smirk. “You-” she smacks you with a pillow. “-Fine! No Laura meal for you then!” she gets up with a huff and stomps out of the room.

You chuckle but follow her. “Oh come on, Cupcake. I’m just teasing you.”

“No, no. We’re going out to eat. There’s no turning back for you missy.” she says while digging through her suitcase.

 

The teasing totally backfired.

You spent the next hour walking to a nearby waffle house where you didn’t even get to eat anything good because Laura insisted your stomach was still screwed up. You think she might have just been having some payback. While the two of you ate though, you noticed Laura kept looking at her phone and ignoring her dad’s calls. You don’t want to straight up ask what’s wrong since you don’t feel it’s your place at all but something must’ve happened to get Laura like this.

So when you’re walking around town together and her phone vibrates again, you take her phone away from her and answer.

“NO WAIT-” she tries to interject.

“Hi.” you simply say answering the call.

“Laura where-” she snatches the phone back before he can even finish his sentence.

“I’m out dad.”

“Oh, well I know you just got back but we have a-”

  
“Dad you didn’t even have the time to pick me up at the airport. So i don’t have the time to walk into your office and and explain everything that is already on paper for you and everyone else. Bye!”

She quickly hangs up and you stare at her surprised. “You okay there, creampuff?”

She sighs deeply and tries to look at you angrily but clearly fails. “...yeah.” she grumbles out.

“That was pretty harsh.”

“You!-” she huffs harshly. “You know what Carm? I’m just tired of trying so hard. I do everything just so he can be happy and relax and just be proud of me and i’m just..tired.”

You just hum in acknowledgement but keep walking, you don’t want to get her more upset about this. After a few seconds she talks again.

“...it was pretty harsh, wasn’t it?” she gives you questioning look with tight lips and you budge. After all, she’s asking.

“yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, i’m all for you skipping out on work Cupcake. You’re literally a workaholic but...I know how important this is to you….or your dad at least.”

Laura twists her mouth looking at the floor and kicks a pebble. “ It’s important to me too… I really want this to work out. it’d be huge for the company. Ughh I think I’m gonna go to work.” She turns to you with a caring look. “Are you gonna be okay all on your own?”

“Cupcake, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know I know. I just-- I don’t want anything bad happening to you.” she says in a gentle tone but seems to dial back. “Who’d text me snarky or inappropriate things? My day would be boring without that.” she teases instead.

You smirk but wave her off. It feels like you and her haven’t bantered like this in so long. “Go on Cupcake.” You avoiding her was so boring. Your smirk falters and you tense up. Right, you were avoiding her. “...I should head home anyway.” You slow down to not be side by side.

“Okay…” Laura starts sidestepping away, still having her eyes on you. She stops and tries to hold back a grin but fails. She sighs and walks back towards you. “Thanks Carm.” She smiles wide and quickly pecks you on the lips, your chest going out of control.

What. The. Fuck.

Laura quickly walks away with a wave. “Get some rest you stubborn lesbian!!”

“Yeah yeah.” you manage to say back loud enough so she can hear and the giggle you catch coming from her before she’s out of sight makes your body suddenly feel weak.

What the heck is up with you? First you were nervous back home and blushing at the smallest dumbest things. Now you blow your cool over a freaking peck on the lips?

Maybe you just have to get used to Laura being back. You must be on some weird sensitive dry spell from all those dull weeks.

Yeah that makes sense.

You turn around and start making your way back home quietly.  
Since when does Laura just kiss you in public?

-

When you finally get to the office you head inside avoiding eye contact with everyone and walk into the elevator. You look down at yourself while it goes up.

_Crap. I forgot to change. Well, t-shirt and purple jeans will have to do today._

Once you make it to the floor you notice there’s no one around.

What the heck?

You walk around. “Hello?” You go to open the door to the meeting room and suddenly everyone yells surprise making you flinch and putting your arms up. The room is filled with balloons and there’s a cake on the table along with everyone from the office.

Including your dad.

“What is all this, you guys?” you say between everyone’s hugs.

“I wanted to organize a little something to thank and congratulate you on all the progress you’ve made. After I read all the files yesterday I knew I had to whip something up for my little girl.”

You frown deeply. You had been so mean to him over the phone earlier and he had all this planned out for you today. “Daaad I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Laura. I guess I deserved that. I’m sorry for being so busy.” He gestures towards the cake.

 

                                                                    _Welcome Back! You were missed <3_

 

You laugh and look back up at your dad. You give him a bear hug and he lifts you up swinging you a bit. It feels like ages since he held you like when you were little. You hadn’t even realized how much you missed it.

“No work today?” you ask a bit hopefully.

“No work today.”

 

After the small party at the office talking to everyone about your trip, you leave with your dad in his car. You don’t think you remember the last time the two of you left the office together. Especially with your hands free and away from piles of paper or a suitcase.

Your suitcase.

“Dad!” you suddenly yell.

“Yeah snookums?”

“Can we go somewhere before we go home? I have to pick some stuff up over at a...uh...friends.”

“Yeah sure thing. Where are we headed?”

“Riverton Street downtown.”

“Alright.” your dad starts heading down the main road and you stop him.

“Wait!” he looks startled and confused at you through the rearview mirror. “Go down 1st avenue by the pier, there’s less traffic that way.”

He nods changing his course and you sit back suddenly realizing how well you know the way to Carmilla’s place.

It _has_ been months since the two of you met. Things feel so different now compared to how it all started.

_You_ feel different.

You sigh and rest your head against the car window. You really need to stop thinking about these things. It’ll just change everything and make things harder or weird. You can’t have feelings for Carmilla. You can’t.

You take out your phone and start typing.

Laura (7:23pm): Carm!

Carmilla (7:23pm): “Laura!”

Laura (7:23pm): ha-ha.. Listen! Or well..read. W.E! I forgot my stuff back at your place. Can I stop by and pick them up right now?

Laura (7:24pm): i’m kind of already on my way…

Carmilla (7:24pm): yeah of course. I’ve just been “resting”

Carmilla (7:24pm): you know, like some little bossy girl told me to do.

Laura (7:25pm): good! I’ll be there in a few

You try and keep it short and simple at the end there. You don’t think you should keep flirting so much with her...or being so open. You think about last night and today, how she worried about you on your flight and how she cared about you and your dad drama.

You sigh deeply and press your head harder against the window, staring at the lights as they pass by.

_Get it together Hollis._

 

“Laura you were right, this way is much faster.” says your dad and you recognize the street you’re going down now as the one that leads to Aunt Annie’s Bakery. You grin to yourself remembering the first conversation you and Carmilla had.

**_‘How come I’ve never seen u around then?’_ **

**_‘Must have not been looking for the love of your life back then. ;)’_ **

You snort at the memory and watch as the bakery passes by. Would the two of you had ever met if it wasn’t for that one text ages ago?

You shake yourself out of your thoughts and sit up straight. You can’t keep this up. There’s no way you’ll be able to not catch some feels at this rate. I mean you spent so much time together, you sleep together. A lot. And not just kinky kind of sleepy bed time but like literally just...sleeping together. And now she’s caring and asking and listening and confusing you and UGH.

“You can start slowing down dad.” you say.

“Okidok, which one is it?”

You lean forward and point at the building. “That one. The one with the bricks.”

“Hmph. Come to think of it, I’ve never brought you here before. Who-”

“-You can park right here dad be right back!” you quickly get out of the car and power walk to the entrance. You press the buzzer and wait, talking to yourself. “Yeah dad. This is basically where I’ve spent most of my nights. Ha slumber party? I mean you could say that-”

The door buzzes and you quickly push through and head up the stairs.

“Okay Hollis, you got this. Just get your stuff and get back to dad who isn’t totally coming up with a million questions while you talk to yourself.” You reach her door and nervously straighten up. You don’t think you and Carm can just stay screwing around, I mean who does that? You too are totally more than just that. You’ve got to at least be some sort of weird...friends at least. Right..? If you can’t keep this up then friends seems like a safe bet to still be around each other.

“Maybe I can somehow just keep it as friends. I can do that right?”

You knock on the door and take a deep breath while thinking and when the door finally opens making you look up you forget to exhale.

Carmilla’s in a skimpy dark tank top and panties, her hair damp as if she just washed it.

You exhale and inhale quickly again, taking in the fresh smell of shampoo and soap.

Y _up. You’re doomed._

“Hey Cupcake.” she says with a smirk, crossing her arms while leaning on the door frame.

“H-hey.” There’s no way you can keep it as just friends.

“You okay over there?”

“What?”

“You look a little surprised...maybe even.. _flustered_.” her smirk grows.

“What--me?? No I’m just, I’m still jet laggy and out of sorts and and--” you pause and point into the apartment behind her. “My suitcase.”

“Your suitcase.”

“Uh huh.”

The two of you stand there staring at each other for a long silent moment.

“Well are you just gonna stand there or do I have to go get it for you?” she says readjusting her footing.

“I’ll get it!” you quickly answer and slide past her, your arm brushing over hers and god is her skin so soft holy hufflepuff.

Nope. Grab and go Laura grab and go! Your dad’s outside anyway!

You said it yourself.

Friends.

Weird...kinky friends.

“Got somewhere to be, Creampuff?” you hear behind you and quickly stand, raising the handle on your suitcase along with you, turning to face her.

“I uh, well-” you stumble on your words.

God you’re a weak mess.

Two weeks. Two freaking weeks away from her and one pantless second drags you back in instantly.

You see Carmilla step in front of you, waiting for you to finish. “It’s my dad. He’s uh...he gave me a ride here so..” you nod your head towards the door. “I can’t really stay long.”

She nods in understanding but steps closer making you stiffen. She grabs the handle of your suitcase behind you and god is she standing so much closer than before. “Let me help you with that.” she says looking down at you.

Ah yes. Height difference is a thing. Totally just realized it’s a thing again.

“Thanks.” you manage to reply and you see how the corner of her mouth moves up. You can feel your cheeks heating up because you’re pretty sure it was colder in here just a minute ago.

She leans forward only inches away from your face and whispers. “Thank me later.” she steps back and rolls away with your suitcase.

Sweet lady Sappho, was Carmilla this hot when you left? How did you not notice earlier today? Your mind was obviously not paying enough attention do to your dad drama or something.

You follow her towards the door and open it for her. The two of you stand next to each other, your suitcase between you. You grab the handle from her and feel your heart speed up at the touch of your hands. You duck your head a bit shyly and smile.

“Well, sorry to drop by on you like this.” you say.

“It isn’t the first time if I remember right.” she says with a small grin.

You huff out a smile and nod. “Yeah, I guess I’ve done it once or twice.” you play along.

“Try a hundred times.” she teases and you hear her light chuckle.

Man you missed that sound. Most of all though you missed the way she looks when she does it.

You finally lift your head to look at her and the two of you just stand there.

“I should uh…go.” you say gesturing out the door and she smiles.

“If you must.” she says staring somewhere near your chin. Noticing that makes you do the same.

Crap.

Lips are a thing.

“I’ll uh-” you pause.

What were you gonna say again?

“-I’ll text you.” you finish and she nods slightly.

Screw it.

You push your suitcase a bit to the side and step forward, your hands moving up to each side of Carmilla’s face pulling her in for a kiss.

It’s a simple kiss, nothing too intense but you could almost inhale her. You pull back slightly, only opening your eyes enough to stare at her soft pink lips. You give her one last peck and haul ass outta there. “Okay bye!”

You jam the suitcase in the back of the car, not even giving your dad time to open the trunk instead, and quickly shut the door.

Your dad gives you an odd look for a few seconds but turns around and starts driving nonetheless.

You lick your lips still feeling the sensation of having Carmilla’s against yours.

_Weird soft kinky friends._

You bump your head against the window.

_That doesn’t sound normal at all._

-

You don’t move away from the door until a cool breeze hits you reminding you that you aren’t fully clothed. That kiss left you in a bit of a daze.

You lock the door and head to your bedroom, your brow furrowed as you try and make sense of this feeling.

You weren’t ready, she just caught you off guard. You really have to step your game up again. Every little thing seems to be affecting you and you don’t like it.

It makes you feel somewhat vulnerable.

You should go out and get your game back because you’re clearly out of practice.

You sit on your bed lazily and notice something in the corner of your eye. Laura’s yellow pillow is still on your bed.

You quickly look back towards your bedroom door. She forgot her stupid pillow. Must have been all the rush she was in. You think about calling her back so she can take it with her but really it’s just a dumb pillow. She’ll probably be back here soon anyway.

You lay down not really wanting to go anywhere anymore. You just got out of food poisoning, you don’t need to be drinking anytime soon. You lay there quietly looking at the ceiling and the streets are quiet tonight. No cars, no people walking around, no rain, just the sound of leaves rustling in the wind every now and then. It helps lull you to sleep but it sure makes your place feel empty.

You look beside you at the yellow pillow before just turning over and laying your head on it.

You should be used to that feeling by now.

 

You don’t see Laura as much as you thought you would the week after she’s back. She’s been busy as usual. You talk to each other through text most of the time but whenever you try and flirt around with her she either can’t tell or doesn’t even try to flirt back.

Maybe you really did lose your game while she was away. You’re completely out of practice with everything clearly. The first time she left on her stupid business trip you went out a few times and even managed to get a girl over. Still, that reminder doesn’t really make you feel any better.

You rest your chin in your hand while at work. This is a just a simple sound check you’re doing in Will’s place while he’s away. They’re auditioning some local bands for some event you could care less about. You’d much rather be somewhere else.

You pull out your phone from your pocket while some hipster band is introducing themselves.

Carmilla (10:15am): hey. Please tell me something more mortifying than what i’m about to listen to live.

Laura(10:15am): okaaaay well hmmm let me think about it first

Laura(10:16am): i still haven’t done laundry since i got back so all i have left are kid granny panties

Laura(10:16am): and during a meeting Betty dropped some stuff next to me so being the clear gentlewoman in the bunch i bent over to get it

Laura(10:16am): they. Saw. everything.

Carmilla(10:17am): it would be easier for me to laugh at this if i could picture these kid granny panties you speak of.

Carmilla(10:17am): what does that even mean anyway? Are they granny panties or are they kid panties? I’m torn..

Laura(10:18am): ...they’re granny panties with superman symbols on them.

Laura(10:18am): Lois Lane was really big for me as a teen ok!!

Carmilla(10:18am): wow. I’m curious as to what else I haven’t seen u wearing :p

Laura(10:19am): not even in your dreams Carmilla

Carmilla(10:19am): oh come on! Just a peak at the granny panties. ;)

Laura(10:20am): NO! Go back to looking at cables and buttons!

You pout at your phone and put it away. She could’ve at least tried to play along.

You sigh and hold two of your fingers against your beating temple. This band freaking sucks.

You step out and sit on the entrance steps taking your phone back out.

Carmilla(10:23am): fine i’ll get back to work

Carmilla(10:23am): do you have any plans for tonight?

You rest your chin in your hand again while staring at your phone for her reply but it doesn’t come. You grunt aggravated dropping your phone between your legs.

This is really starting to suck.

You hear some steps coming behind you and glance to the side once the entrance door opens. The hipster band is finally leaving clearly getting denied to play at the event and you’re grateful that at least something’s going right. They walk past you on the steps and you look at them leave when your phone vibrates.

Laura(10:28am): I’m spending time with Laf and Perry tonight.

Laura(10:28am): i have to “bond with my friends” well that’s what Perry said anyway. They’re mad at me cause i didn’t even call while i was away :x

You feel your body slouch inward in disappointment.

Carmilla(10:29am): Ok.

You get up and start heading back inside when your phone vibrates in your hand.

Laura(10:29am): sorry.

“I’m sure you are.” you sarcastically reply to yourself putting your phone away.

Whatever. You aren’t texting her back anymore today.

-

“Sorry..” you whisper to yourself after having sent that text. You think it’s a real hypocrite thing to say when you’ve been kind of purposely avoiding her.

Well not “purposely” but...like only a little.

Perry and LaF really did scold you for not staying in touch. They didn’t exactly demand you make it up to them but that’s just a Laura thing to do. You have to make it up...by totally spending time with them instead of Carmilla.

“Who am I kidding. It’s totally on purpose.” you sigh leaning onto your dad’s desk. You hear the door open and look up.

“Hey sweetie. Thought you might want some bagels after that meeting.” he steps in and hands you a paper bag with a smile. He gives you a knowing look and leans on his desk next to you. “I know speaking numbers bores you a lot but...I think something else is up huh kiddo?”

You chuckle tiredly and take one of the bagels out. “It’s nothing dad. I’m just...still adjusting to being back. I haven’t even finished unpacking my stuff. Been all busy and stuff.”

“Well tell you what. You’ve done enough today. Go home and get some rest. Finish unpacking, whatever.” he puts a hand on your shoulder. “You deserve it. Besides I don’t think there’s anything left for you to cover. You’ve been at it non stop kiddo.”

You take a bite off of your bagel and shrug. “...I guess I could just go home.”

He grins widely putting an arm around you to pull you in tightly. “There we go! You take care. I’ll see you back at the house.”

“Thanks dad.” you say a bit exhausted but you don’t think it’s from work.

“No problem schnookums.” you squint your eyes suspiciously at him.

Schnookums? Okay, what’s he up to this time?

“What did you do?” you ask and he gives you a confused look.

“Well nothing. Why the sudden question?”

“Hmm...you’ve gotta be up to something.”

He raises and eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Mhm.” you squint harder for a second but let it go. “I’m going home now. You better be good!”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “You go do whatever you need to go, Laura.”

You walk out of the office and down to the lobby trying to put pieces together.

Dad’s got some highly suspicious behavior going on. It’s almost like he _wanted_ you to leave.

You stop and turn around to look suspiciously back at the elevator.

“Hmmm…”

Your phone chimes making you jump.

“Jesus!”

LaF (10:40am): yes hello it is I, your best friend. JUST REMINDING YOU OF MY EXISTENCE. You know. For science.

Laura(10:41am): LaF i already said i was sorry. Are u gonna keep torturing me forever?

LaF (10:41am): forever sounds highly unlikely.

LaF (10:41am): for a slightly smaller amount of time? PROBABLY.

Laura (10:42am): WHATEVER. I’m sure i’ll convince you to love me again

LaF (10:42am): again, highly unlikely.

Laura (10:43am): <3 u know that’s statistically false.

LaF (10:43am): yeah u suck at numbers. see you tonight!

You put your phone away disappointed.

Your friends hate you, great. Why are relationships so hard???

You slouch at the thought of Carmilla and your friends. She should be included in “friends”...so why isn’t she? You sigh and head home.

What are you doing, Laura?

 

Later that night, you hear LaF say the same words over the table at Starbucks.

“What are you doing, Laura?” They ask swirling the straw in their milkshake.

You slouch forward resting your elbows on the table. “I don’t know. Giving us some space?”

LaF gives you a pointed look and you can practically hear the “really?” in their eyes. Perry sits by looking like she’s trying to find the words to help.

“Okay, let me rephrase that. WHY are you doing that?”

“Because I should let her do her thing?”

“That’s a lame answer.”

You groan. “I’m--I’m trying to not get any feelings okay!”

“So you admit that there are existing feelings?”

“No I-” you duck your head and shut your eyes tight. “No.” you say with a more certain tone.

“Laura, you can’t just cut some people out.” says LaF.

“What LaFontaine is trying to say is, have you considered that you evading Carmilla could seem um...hurtful to her? For all she knows you’re just ignoring her for no reason.” says Perry.

“Pff yeah I doubt she cares about that. I have a reason okay-” you sigh. “I’m trying to not ruin anything between us and get all these thoughts out of my head.”

“Laura, there’s nothing wrong with liking someone. Especially if it’s someone you know so um -well.” says Perry.

“You mean someone I constantly have sex with don’t you?”

“That--that too I suppose-” Perry straightens up and clears her throat. “My point is! Why not just go out with her? You clearly like each other.”

“You literally spend more time with her than with us. AND you’re doing it. What more do you need? A pet for both of you to care for?” says LaF.

“Because I can’t. She doesn’t do relationships...and I don’t want to either. Besides we’re not that kind of thing. You know that.”

“All I know is that you’re both idiots and you-” LaF points at you harshly. “-Are being a chicken.”

“I’m not being a chicken.” you say trying to defend yourself weakly. “I’m being a…friend.”

“Fine. You’re being a bad friend then.” LaF says brushing their hair back clearly done. “First us, now her? You know, leaving your friends out of the loop for a long time sucks. _That_ I can say with full experience.” they say taking a victorious sip from their soda.

You sigh and stare into your drink.

_Are you_ being a bad friend?

-

Carmilla (5:00pm): u know what i’d really like to do tonight?

Laura (5:00pm): swim in a college fountain?

Carmilla (5:00pm): you.

Laura (5:01pm): sure you do!

Laura (5:01pm): i personally would like to do some yoga. My back is being a real pain today

You don’t get it. You really don’t get it. Everything you try doesn’t work. How much clearer do you need to be?? No matter what or how hard you try to get her interested again, Laura keeps dodging.

“Am I not attractive enough for her anymore?” you say to yourself frustrated.

There’s no way she’s lost interest just like that right? She has to find you hot at the very least.

Your eyes widen when a thought makes its way into your head.

What if she doesn’t want to do it anymore because you’re not good enough? What if she thinks the sex was bad? What if she and the ginger beast picked up on their kama sutra days together and she’s not interested anymore?

“There’s no way.” you say with a scoff trying to convince yourself but...what if it’s true?

No, no, she was always really into it when the two of you would to have sex, it can’t be that. No way the ginger giant got to Laura anyway.

 

But the more and more time pases without you seeing eachother you grow less and less confident.

Maybe you and her have found the end of the line...Maybe she’s moved on from fooling around with you.

You crack and finally tell Kirsch about it when you can’t take it anymore. This is eating at you inside.

Kirsch is standing in front of you with a hard thinking face as you sit and sulk.

“Well,” he finally starts twisting his lips in thought. “-you can’t just get all up in her like that anymore, bro.”

“What do you mean?”

“You guys have been doing this for months. Old tricks aren’t gonna cut it.”

“And what would you suggest?” you ask disappointed. You can’t believe you told Kirsch about this.

He straightens up and starts to grin. “You gotta woo her!”

“Kirsch, what do _you_ know about wooing? You don’t know girls at all.”

He makes an offended sound. “Ex-cuuuuuuse me. I know babes.” he states confidently. “And I more than you know when you gotta step up your game bro. You can’t get her with some trashy sexting!” you make a face about to interject but he doesn’t let you. “Been there done that. Seen it, heard it. It’s old news!”

“Fine! I’ll play along… How exactly would I “woo” her?”

He gives you a smug grin and leans closer to your face. “I thought you’d never ask. Once the ‘body’s’ lost it’s mo-jo, you gotta focus on the heart.”

You scoff and roll your eyes.

“No, no! Pay attention!” he scolds you. “You gotta do nice things for her. You know, care and like listen.” he says in a soft tone. “If you don’t start getting that, then you’ll never get your girlfriend back.”

_Girlfriend?_

“She isn’t my girlfriend. And this isn’t the type of wooing I had in mind.” you say and start getting up to leave.

“You asked for my advice dude!”

“Yeah, well your advice is terrible. Whatever, I’m leaving.” you grab your leather jacket and slide on your beanie before going. “Goodnight Kirsch.”

He groans whining. “Fiiiiiine goodnight.” he closes the door after you step out and make your way home through the cold city night.

You blow out a warm breath and tuck your hands in the pockets of your jacket.

It’s starting to get really freaking cold out and you’re the only idiot in town without gloves on tonight.

“Jesus.” you keep walking really aware of your hands freezing a little and you remember how Laura had forgotten her own gloves while she was away. This must’ve been how she felt over there. You sigh and start to think about what Kirsch said.

**_“You gotta do nice things for her. You know, care and like listen.”_ **

You think about the few times you’ve done things like those for Laura.

_Cared._

You were worried about her during the storm..and you were listening to her talk to you about her and her dad.

You care about how much she works. How tired she gets. How much she loves her dad and her friends who scold her. How much she smiles when the two of you talk or flirt or-

You stop walking.

This is stupid.

You change course and cross the street heading towards the bakery you know so well. You need some hot cocoa between your cold hands.

When you’re almost there it starts to rain a bit and your day is really going to shit right now. You end up sitting inside the bakery, an untouched hot cocoa in your hands and a depressing mess in your mind.

You don’t do caring. You’ve been avoiding that shit for years. So when did you start caring so much about Laura Hollis?

-

You finally find shelter from the rain with Betty. The two of you were heading out of the office together to grab some dessert. Betty’s the only one who doesn’t ask questions when it comes to your night time cravings after work. She likes Aunt Annie’s Bakery’s stuffed donuts just as much as you love their cheesecake so the two of you come here more often than not at night.

The rain started picking up half way there though but Betty had grabbed a spare umbrella from the front desk, saving both of you from freezing to death out here.

You step inside the bakery and shake your umbrella before shutting it. Thank God it’s warm and toasty in here.

“I’m gonna order some coffee for me too. You want some?” Betty asks flicking droplets from her forehead.

“Some hot cocoa would be great.” you say with a smile and she nods walking away. You straighten up and brush off the droplets on your coat, catching a familiar silhouette sitting by the window. “..Carm?” you say out loud but she doesn’t seem to notice. She seems kind of dozed off.

You keep staring at her while you walk to the counter to order. She hasn’t moved at all, other than her fingers moving a bit against her cup.

“Anything else you’d like tonight, Laura?”

Your eyes snap back to the familiar guy standing on the other side of the counter.

“Hi, sorry. I’ll have a…” you look back towards Carmilla and decide to change your order for tonight. “A chocolate cake please.” You pay for your hot cocoa and cake and go back to looking at Carmilla.

How has she not seen you yet?

You grab your order and head her way. Betty stays by the counter trying to flirt with the guy like she does every time you come here. You quietly make your way through the few small tables and finally reach her.

She still hasn’t noticed you.

You place the chocolate cake on the table and see her snap out of her daze, finally looking up at you surprised.

“You sure got your head in the clouds today.” you tease.

“Laura, hey.”

You pull out the chair in front of her and sit. “Hey Carm.” you push the plate towards her. “Want some? It’s got the fudge ball on top.” you say with a smile and you see the corners of her mouth quirk up.

“I don’t have a fork.” she simply states.

“Oh. Uhh...here! We can share mine.” you say handing her yours.

“Well aren’t you romantic.” she teases but then straightens up going quiet.

“I have my moments.” you tease back but she doesn’t reply. She just takes a bit of cake and eats it.

You take a sip of your hot cocoa while you watch her wondering if she’s okay.

“Laura, you coming?” you hear from behind you.

You look back at Betty and then back at Carmilla. She’s just looking down at the cake, not really paying any attention.

“No, if it’s okay with you I’m staying for a bit.”

“See you tomorrow morning then.” Betty grabs her umbrella and leaves. You turn back to facing Carmilla who’s offly quiet. You notice she looks stiff and look over at her cocoa. One of your hands reach to her cocoa to feel it. “Your cocoa’s cold.”

She blinks and looks up at you for a second before looking at her cocoa. “Yeah. I guess I didn’t think it’d cool off so fast.” she gives you a small shrug and goes back to the cake.

“Here.” you offer her some of your cocoa and she hesitates to grab it from your hands. “You look cold. Just hold mine for a bit.”

She gives you a tight lipped smile taking it from your hands. She sighs in bliss with the new warmth. “Thanks cupcake.”

You smile wide and grab the fork she was using. “You’re welcome.” you watch her as she finally takes a sip from your cup making you grin as you eat. “So, what are you doing here so late anyway?”

She shrugs again. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t really want to go home so early,” Her fingers brush against the warm cup. “It’s too boring.” she takes another sip and hands you back your hot cocoa. You offer her the fork back and she scoffs but takes it with a small smile.

“And being here isn’t boring to you?”

She plays with the cake. “Guess not.” she stops moving the fork as if thinking and let’s it go. “I ran into _you_ didn’t I?”

You chuckle. “Good point.”

She smiles and sits up taking a deep breath. She looks out the window, watching the rain. “Guess I’m stuck her now.”

Something’s off about Carmilla. She’s acting...weird.

Not like bad weird but, you can’t put your finger on it yet. Is she okay?

She didn’t say anything was up in her text messages earlier, but well..why would she?

You take another sip of your cocoa as you think.

Then again, you haven’t exactly been around much for her. But… you’ve never been around for each other in that _way_ anyway. Right?

You furrow your brow. Friends are there for each other, Laura.

**_“You’re being a bad friend then.”_ **

“Uh...Cupcake are you doing okay?”

You flinch a bit startled and look up at Carmilla who’s giving you a concerned look. “What?”

She gestures at what’s left of the cake. “You’ve been glaring at the chocolate cake for a while now.”

“I have?”

Oops.

She raises an eyebrow. “...Yeah. You know you can eat what’s left if you want. It’s your cake after all. I don’t want anymore.”

You will not be a bad friend.

You quickly chow down what’s left of the cake and down your hot cocoa.

God that burns.

“Carmilla!” you exclaim slamming the empty cup against the table.

She flinches. “Yeah?”

“Can I walk you home?” she looks surprised and confused so you raise up your umbrella. “It’s raining and I’ve got an umbrella. You know. Stuff.”

“If that’s okay with you.”

You nod and quickly stand. “Come on then let’s go.” You storm off throwing away both your cups and the plate, waiting for her by the door. She’s still staring at you from her chair. “Well, you coming?”

 

The two of you walk under the same umbrella which okay, you didn’t think this through. Umbrella equals tight space which means really close contact with Carmilla.

Which you’ve been trying to avoid.

Because you’re avoiding catching feelings.

Yeah you didn’t think this through.

You look beside you though and see that Carmilla’s still keeping some distance between you two. Her eyes on the floor instead of on you or the rain.

You remember the last time the two of you were in the rain together like this, in the middle of the night. You walked around and sneaked into that house with the hammock where you...kissed and held hands in the soaking rain.

You stop walking and she almost keeps going but turns around.

“What is it?”

“You know, the whole purpose of sharing an umbrella is neither of us getting wet right?”

She scoffs but smiles. “Sorry.” She walks up beside you and ducks her head a bit under the umbrella. “You _are_ shorter than me you know.”

You hang your jaw offended. “By like super little!”

Her smile widens. “Whatever you say, creampuff.”

“Fine, get wet then!” you stomp away and hear her calling behind you.

“I was kidding!” You hear the splashing from her feet quickly hitting the ground behind you. She reaches you and ducks her head again. “See, totally fit in with you.”

You squint at her trying to hold back your grin but you really like the way that sounds.

“Too late! We’re already here!” you dash forward and up the steps to the main door.

She sighs and runs after you.

The two of you finally make it up to her apartment and man, you haven’t been here in awhile.

She takes off her coat and goes into her room, coming back while rubbing a towel over her hair. She holds it out for you.

“Here.”

“Thanks.” you grab it but just stare at her as she turns around and takes off her shirt.

_Oh boy._

You walk over to the futon where you don’t have a view of her changing and start drying yourself.

You finish and lean deeper back into the futon, closing your eyes.

You actually really like this couch. Plus it reminds you of the nights you’ve spent on it with Carm.

Your head shoots back up with eyes wide open.

_Nope. Don’t go there._

Carmilla walks back out with a new warm sweater on and you smile to yourself remembering the one you got her on your trip. You realize you still haven’t given it to her.

“So,” she says as she drops on the couch next to you.

“Sooo.” you smile at her.

She smiles back. “I may have...done something.”

Your smile wavers. “Done something?”

“Something I heard I shouldn’t do.”

You furrow your brow now. “What’d you do?”

She chews on her lip and looks away.

“What?! What is it?!”

“I may have watched more episode of your clone show without you.” she looks a bit guilty. “Kirsch said that’s “against the rules” or whatever.”

You let out a breath of relief. “Well that depends, how many?” you say playfully.

“A whole season.”

“A whole season?!?”

She cringes. “I was bored and you were away.” she defends and you cross your arms.

“You’re lucky I’ve already rewatched Orphan Black twice.”

She smiles. “So you’re not mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at you.” you say with a bunched up face, a smile escaping you. You missed this back and forward between you and her.

You both just stare silently at each other, smiling.

“Anyway!” you hand her the towel trying to create some space between you. “Dad’s probably on his way home and I’ve got a load of things to do tomorrow.”

Her smile falls. “You should go.” she says with a slight nod towards the door. Carmilla stands up first and heads to her room.

That catches you by surprise. Usually she whines or insists on you staying. And wait, is she not even going to say goodbye to you? Just walk away??

Something _really is_ wrong with her. And you’ve been too busy staying away to notice.

 

**_“You know, leaving your friends out of the loop for a long time sucks.”_ **

You frown and stand up.

_Is this on you?_

You dash after her and come to a dead stop at her door. She was reaching for something by her bed but turns around confused.

“What is it?”

“Nothing I just-” you walk past her and jump into bed. “-changed my mind.”

She looks at you confused. “What are you doing?”

“Going to bed. What does it look like I’m doing?” Carmilla doesn’t budge, instead she stares confused at you over the bed. “I can deal with dad later.” you pat on the bed next to you.

She stares at you silently until she just sighs and gets into bed next to you.

You mentally scold yourself for somehow ending up here in her bed. So much for playing it safe.

You lay back and face her but keep some distance. Carmilla tilts her head to the side and gives you a small smile before closing her eyes.

“Hey.” you says softly and she opens them again. “Are you okay?”

She gives you a sad smile. “I’m fine.” she shuts her eyes again. “Go to sleep, Laura.”

You bunch up your face not understanding her and snuggle deeper into your pillow. You furrow your brow and look at your pillow beneath you in realization.

Your pillow’s here. Holy crap you completely forgot about it. Carm kept it here this whole time? Why didn’t she tell you to come by and pick it up?

You stare at her as she sleeps and grow sad. Carmilla’s just been usual normal self with you and you in return have just been distant and weird. But how else are you supposed to be? How else are you going to keep this friendly? You adjust your position uncomfortably, not knowing what to do or how to feel.

Why did you have to go and come over?

-

You wake up in the middle of the night and see Laura beside you, her forehead against your shoulder. You can feel her warm breath against your skin. You have an urge to be closer to her and reach out but stop yourself. You don’t know what is and isn’t okay with her anymore.

You don’t know what Laura wants.

You squeeze your eyes shut and turn over trying to get up as quietly as you can to go to the bathroom without waking her. When you come out about to shut off the bathroom light you see the way it paints Laura in a mix of glows and shadows. You wish you’d be able to just look at her like this for as long as you could.

The thought makes you oddly uncomfortable and you quickly turn the light off getting into bed again.

You sigh when you’re finally settled in facing away from her this time, your whole body feeling useless at the thought that you might not be able to just touch her again. Maybe that’s something she doesn’t want from you anymore. Your jaw tightens and you’re tempted to feel behind you, your fingers brushing against some part of Laura. It’s barely “touching” in comparison with the way you usually would touch her but the guilt is stronger than the urge to feel Laura against your skin.

You retreat your hand slowly and your chest suddenly just feels so heavy.

What’s going on with you? Why do you feel like such a mess?

Laura shifts beside you and you tilt your head a bit to watch her. Her hand starts searching for you until you quietly place your own near hers and she grabs it. Her thumb brushing over your own over and over again. You sigh deeply and just interlock your fingers finally giving in to your urge to be near her and she follows your lead holding onto your hand tightly while sinking her head deeper into her yellow pillow. You smile to yourself.

Maybe this is good enough.

-

There’s a loud annoying sound coming from somewhere in the room and you quickly sit up searching for your phone, your eyes still filled with sleep.

“Sorry sorry! The office is ringing-- I gotta go!” you keep searching for your phone near you and suddenly the sound stops. You squint your eyes behind you, Carmilla reaching for her phone on her nightstand and dropping back to bed.

She groans against her pillow.

“Wait, that was _your_ alarm?”

“Yeah..” she waves her arm around. “ I gotta go.” she says but doesn’t move to try and get up.

You furrow your brow and keep looking for your phone near the bed. You look down at your phone and back up at Carmilla laying next to you not budging.

6:02am

“Where do you have to go at 6 in the morning?”

She huffs against her pillow and doesn’t answer right away. “Work.”

“Work??”

“I’m doing Will’s job now remember?”

“So you’ve been waking up this early all this time?”

She nods against her pillow.

“Wow.” you say still surprised. “I didn’t think you’d get up this early for anything.”

“You wake me up _all_ the time.” she says aggressively adjusting her head on her pillow.

You chuckle and stare at her. She’s clearly not getting up anytime soon. You can’t see her face since she’s looking the other way, but you know her well enough to tell she’s falling back asleep.  
You watch her back steadily rise and fall, her body laying face down and legs lazily spread out. You notice you both forgot to get under the bed sheets, you didn’t even bother to change clothes at all either.

You look down at yourself, your work shirt all wrinkled and your phone in your hands. You must’ve been more tired than you thought. You look back towards Carmilla and stop yourself from sighing in frustration. Who are you kidding, when it’s with her you always sleep like a baby. You didn’t think you’d miss just laying in bed with Carmilla as much as you did, even if it was literally just sleeping next to each other. You chew on your bottom lip as you continue staring at her resting peacefully.

You don’t notice your hand going to brush some of her hair away from her face until it’s too late. Carmilla suddenly inhales deeply as your fingers start going through the rest of her hair and you miss this. You miss being close to her.

Carmilla starts leaning back into the touch and the fluttering in your chest reminds you to pull away.

“I have to go.”

“When don’t you have to go?” she grumbles back and you feel guilty.

“I’m sorry-” your phone starts ringing in your other hand and you quickly pick it up. “Hello? Dad! Yeah uh I’m on my way to work right now.”

Carmilla turns over to watch you with a skeptical look and you look away. Why is it you only lie to your dad when it comes to her?

“Good good. I uh...I gotta tell you something important. So when you get here come by my office.” you nod as if agreeing but he can’t see you. You’re just to flustered right now to think straight. You feel Carmilla move beside you and automatically look her way. She’s sitting up now, her sweater draping down one of her shoulders as she watches you too closely for comfort. “Where are you anyway? You didn’t come home last night did you?”

You freeze up and swallow, a smirk slowly growing across Carmilla’s lips.

“No...I stayed over at...uh..”

“At Laf and Perry’s?” you open your mouth to agree but he interrupts you. “At Carmilla’s?”  
Oh boy. Why does he have to remember people so well?

“Uhh..yeah actually.” you finally confess feeling nervous.

“Oh.” he goes quiet for a moment. “Well say hi to her for me.”

You glance back at Carmilla still staring at you and move your phone away so he doesn’t hear. “Dad says hi.”

“Hi Jack!” she says a bit louder than you expected and you cringe.

“Oh she’s right there?”

“...Yeah…” he doesn’t say anything else so you go on. “Anyway! I’ll be there dad!”

“Ok. See you soon.” he hangs up. God now he’s gonna have so many questions. He always does. You look at Carmilla who’s still looking at you.

“Let me guess. You have to go.” she simply states.

“I’ll make it up to you.” the usual words slip out as if on queue and you couldn’t stop them. You don’t think you really want to.

“You always say that.” she says lightly looking away a bit sadly.

It hurts you.

“I’ll do whatever you want.” oh no. Why would you go there? That’s way too open of a statement. You’re supposed to stop flirting not offer yourself up to her.

Carmilla looks back at you, her face not showing any signs of teasing. “Lunch?” she simply asks instead and it surprises you.

“Yeah! Ok!” you quickly reply and start getting up and away from her. “You think you’ll be awake by then?” you tease.

“I already told you I have to go to work too. But I can do lunch.”

“Okay, lunch it is then.” she gives you a small smile in return and it makes your chest feel full. “Kay bye!” You start turning towards the door.

“Laura- wait!” she quickly calls back and you turn around but she kind of shrinks into herself and looks down. “I just… I was wondering..” she trails off and it feels like she’s back to how she was yesterday. LaF was right, because of your constant avoiding you’re not being a good friend to Carmilla.

And maybe she needs you.

Maybe you’re more to her than you think.

You chew on the inside of your lip and finally just go back to her, sitting on her edge of the bed. Keeping your distance isn’t doing you any good anyway so screw it. Stop pushing her away.

“Hey.” you say as you tuck some of her hair behind her ear. She looks up to you and this is harder than you thought it’d be. You think having Carmilla seem vulnerable towards you is melting your brain.

“Stay.” she barely whispers as she leans into your hand and you’re stuck here. You’re stuck with her.

“I want to.” you let out and you can’t hold back these thoughts anymore. Carmilla grabs your hand that she was leaning into and tugs you closer by it. And you let her, you just let her guide you back in.

You bump your head against hers and let your eyes shut to take her closeness in. Her fingers lacing with yours in her lap as her other hand tugs at the fabric of your shirt near your chest. You tilt your head up a bit and her nose brushes against yours. You brush hers back and think your chest is having a weird tingly attack. Maybe it’s because you can’t get yourself to breath properly.

You open your eyes and use your free hand to push back a little. “I wish I could stay but..”

“You do?” she asks, letting go of your shirt, instead caressing your neck and it’s like the air is tugging you towards her again.

“Mhm.” you simply hum back while slightly nodding, unable to get yourself to speak properly. “But lunch.” you finally try and backpedal.

“Lunch.” she agrees and licks her lips.

_Oh mighty Sappho you’re killing me here._

You give her a small but slow kiss on the lips and push yourself as far as you can afterwards. “See you later okay.” you bolt outta there.

 

You’re screwed.

You barely make it to the office from how dazed you are and it’s not until Betty greets you that you even notice you’re already here.

“ _Someone_ had fun last night.” she says and gives you a once over. You do the same and suddenly remember you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“Oh my gosh.”

“Get it Hollis.”

“There is no getting! There is an absence of getting!”

“Just wait till you go talk to your dad, oh! Which, by the way, he’s been asking for you all morning. Said to remind you to go up to his office when you got here.”

“Crap right.” You bolt towards the elevator and as it moves up you try and seem presentable, rolling up your sleeves and changing your hairdo to seem different from yesterday.

You reach the floor and make your way to his office, not knocking before stepping in. He’s sitting by his desk, a hard thinking look on his face as his fingers drum against his belly. “Dad?”

He perks up instantly. “Shnookums!”

You roll your eyes. “Oh no you don’t.”

“No wait! I promise it’s important!” you give him a pointed look. “Sit.”

You sigh and do as you're told. “What is it now? No more trips!”

“No, no more trips I promise.” He scratches the back of his head. “That Mel from overseas sent us an email last night. I didn’t see it till I got here. She said that Vordenberg would like to see the both of us face to face before making anything official. Something about ‘not trusting a man who hides behind a girl’ which I find extremely infuriating. You know I’m a feminist Laura.”

“I know.” you snort. “Doesn’t exactly mean _he_ is. He’s like 90, I’m surprised he sent an email.”

“Technically Mel did but I see your point. Old people can be techy too!” he says and you chuckle. “Anyway. He’ll be coming by in a few weeks. I want you to keep leading things when it comes to him. Show him who’s boss. We have some time to prepare but I just wanted to give you a heads up first.”

“Sure thing dad. I’ll get started on that later.”

There’s a long awkward pause between the two of you and you become hyper aware of your outfit.

“The brick building.” he simply states.

“Huh?”

“That’s her place right?”

You give him a tight lipped smile or at least you hope it comes off as a smile. “Uh..yeah. That’s Carm’s place.”

“Carm?” he raises a brow at you.

You simply nod. God this is so awkward and tense.

“You and her…?”

You loosen up with a defeated sigh but shake your head.

“You sure?”

“Dad.” you deadpan and he grumbles grumpily.

“I’m just worrying about you. You know it’s my job to bother you.”

“Your job is to sit there in that comfy chair and give people orders without involving their personal life.”

“But your my little girl. I can poke at your love life.”

“It’s not my love life.”

“Sweetie you haven’t been seeing anyone since you ended things with Danny Lawrence.”

“Dad, I don’t have to be with someone to be happy okay?”

“So she doesn't make you happy?”

“She doesn’t have to, we aren’t a thing dad.”

He gives you a once over and a pointed look as if saying ‘really’ with his eyes. You fidget uncomfortably in your chair.

“You know, I liked Danny way more that those kids you dated in high school.” he starts.

“Daad..” you try and interrupt but he keeps going.

“Which I know you only dated to try and ‘be normal’ thinking you had to date boys like other girls. But I didn’t just like her because she was your first official girl. She was responsible and driven and kind and brave-”

“And not who I wanted to keep seeing, dad.”

He crosses his arms over his chest and twists his mouth. “I know I know.” you mirror his arms and cross your own. “I just- gimme a heads up if she’s someone important to you. I wanna get to know her better if that’s the case.”

“It’s not, dad.” you say and he simply blinks at you. You sigh and finally loosen up. “I don’t want to date someone just for the fact of having someone to rely on or call my girlfriend. I don’t want to pull someone in my life to just have some company and not be alone or use them as some arm candy at events. If I date someone, I want them to be there for the whole deal. The endless working, the hectic lifestyle, the constant travelling, you know...the whole Hollis package.”

You feel your gut tighten uncomfortably and you chew on the inside of your lip. Carmilla isn’t up for any of that. She’s up for fun and bodily desires and sure sometimes she’s sweet to you but it can’t be the way you hope it is.

“I just. I don’t wanna be into someone who isn’t looking for the same thing that I am.” you feel your heart squeeze tightly and you know it’s too late for you.

“Carmilla’s just a friend.”

You know you wish she wanted to be more.

“I don’t want to date her.”

The way your stomach drops and your eyes slightly sting just confirms what you’ve been trying to hold back.

That’s the biggest lie you’ve said since you met her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there wasn't any smut! it's been so long i kinda fear writing it again lmao but there shall be! I promise you!


	14. Meals & Leftovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans and realizations are made, stress and jealousy happens and food isn't the only thing that's left aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, yes, i'm alive! As some of you may know from tumblr i'm from Puerto Rico so the only internet i can get right now is the Wendy's fast food restaurants wifi lol I'm okay though! On the bright-side, the hurricane apocalypse got me to use all my sudden free time on writing! (now if only we would get power back someday soon...*cries*) Anyway! Hope you enjoy but also I'M SO SORRY! I'll read your messages when i come back to Wendy's for wifi tomorrow lol. 
> 
> P.S. (i haven't written smut in so long ohmygod and also i couldn't google words and stuff so sorry if some things are wrong!)
> 
> P.S.S. (May i remind ya'll the songs that i used for these chapters: DNCE- Toothbrush, The Wombats/Plastic Plates remix- Our Pefect Disease, Metronomy -The Upsetter and Halsey- Hopeless.

You suddenly feel exhaustion come over you. Defeated even. Your dad still staring at you as if he expected more words to come out of his usually rambling daughter. Either that or he doesn’t believe you which you can’t really blame him for . You don’t even believe yourself anymore.

He hums to himself, moving things around his desk to stare at them instead. “Quite a friendship you’ve got going on then, having sleepovers and all.” he finally says with a tone you know too well from his past overprotective times.

You sigh tiredly. “Dad..”

He lifts a hand up “Friend or not,” he pauses giving you a look and pointing at you. “She better be a good one.”

You scoff wanting to say she is but hesitate.

_Well..._ Is she _good for you?_

The phone on your dad’s desk rings before you can even make up your mind and he picks it up.

You watch him get into his work and don’t know how you’ll conjure up the strength to do the same. You just feel so drained and heavy. Maybe your dad’s put too many thoughts in your mind for you to handle. Or, maybe they’ve been there all along and you just refused to acknowledge them.

Way to start a day.

You lower your head feeling overwhelmed with everything before standing. “Good talk dad.” you say lowly heading out of his office, closing the door behind you. You lean against it in deep thought. Maybe you should start acknowledging some things.

But to you, thinking at all just feels like drawing a big blank in your mind. It’s not until your phone starts ringing that you move away from the door.

“LaF?”

“Guess who’s slightly more forgiven as of this phone call. Well depending on your answer anyway.”

“Since when do you call this early?” you say instead of answering. You slowly wander down the hall not really wanting to go to your desk or anywhere that you’ll have to deal with work and people. “-and what are you even talking about?”

“Woah, sound a little less enthusiastic please.”

You stop walking and shut your eyes tightly. “Sorry...I’m just...not in the best mood right now. What’s up?”

“Not enough sugar intake?” you scoff at them. “Okay okay...sooo you remember that internship i got awhile back? Well this mad scientist has been using their lab for some slightly dangerous things and created a mildly intriguing substance that helps internal organs regrow to a healthy capacity.”

“That sounds complicated and... creepily amazing.”

“Creepily amazing enough for me to be nominated for an award by the National Science Foundation!”

“Woah! LaF, congrats! That sounds big!”

“It is! My offer though is if you wanted to accompany me and Perry to the ceremony? I have three more spaces to fill and my parents are obviously not included so that leaves you.”

“I’d be honored. Send me the time and date later so I can schedule it up.”

“Cool. Thanks Laura, it really means a lot. I don’t really have a line of friends waiting for an invite so you can fill the last two spots. Just make sure it’s not Betty. She intimidates me too much.”

You laugh. “Betty isn’t intimidating!”

“Last time we all went to dinner we had a heated debate over the amount of calcium the human body actually needs.”

“She just likes ruffling you up because she knows you’re as smart as her.”

“She wouldn’t let me have anymore cheese, Laura. Invite someone else. Someone who won’t block my cheese intake.”

“Fine, I will.”

“Nice. Talk later then.”

 

LaF’s award night forced you to sit in your desk sooner that you’d wished and look through your filled agenda. You stared at appointment past appointment, rearranging plans and cancelling meetings you didn’t find that necessary right now. And you noticed how much like your dad you’ve become.

You feel even heavier than before, stress taking its toll on you. You went into this job wanting to take some of your dad’s endless work load and instead you’re both buried under it. But that’s not what’s stressing you out. Not right now anyway.

You hear your phone vibrate in your pocket and honestly you had forgotten it was even there.

Carmilla(11:39am): so..

Carmilla(11:39am): lunch right?

Your heart tightens and you don’t understand how it can hurt and flutter all at once.

Laura(11:40am): of course

Laura(11:40am): what’d you have in mind? :)

Laura(11:40am): actually can it be somewhere near my job? I only have like an hour break so..

Carmilla(11:41am): Oh.

Carmilla(11:41am): yeah of course it can. Anywhere you recommend?

Laura(11:42am): well what mood are you in? nice exotic meal (actual restaurant) or fast food and sloppy (old sandwich shop)?

Carmilla(11:42am): so…passionate and hot or a quickie? :p

Laura(11:43am): that’s not gijdfknmfjnf .. why do I even bother.

Laura(11:43am): …so quickie?

Carmilla(11:43am): either one is good if it’s with you. You choose.

Your heart flutters again, something you’ll never understand how she manages to do over text messages.

Laura(11:44am): sandwich shop it is! I’ll send u a pin.

Laura(11:44am): meet me there in 20?

Carmilla(11:45am): already heading out

You put your phone down and slump deeper into your seat. The last thing you want to do is go out with how tired you’re feeling today, but you promised her. After how you saw her be last night you can’t just cancel on her. You won’t be a bad friend anymore. You sigh and lean over your desk, resting your face in your hands.

What’s the point in trying to kid yourself anymore? You’ve been avoiding her just as much as you’ve avoided feeling whatever it is you’re feeling. And all for what? It’s messing things up between you two anyway, Carmilla seems different and off, it’s all because of you being like this.

Avoiding her hasn’t done either of you any good. Just…just don’t let your head get the wrong idea that’s all. You can do that right?

Moments pass as you think that last one through, nothing gets you out of your thoughts but Betty coming into your small office.

“Hey you joining for lunch right?”

Betty stands there holding the door incase you decide to get up and go, and you do actually get up.

“I uh…” you lick your lips while you mull it over. “I can’t, sorry.”

“Kay, eating in then?” she takes a step away ready to leave.

“No no! I’m uh..I already made plans with someone so.”

“Oh with who?”

You swallow not knowing how to classify Carmilla anymore “...a friend.” The way your heart flutters over admitting she’s more than just a stranger now kind of excites you.

“Kay have fun!” she leaves and you grab your things to do the same.

You can do this. It’s just lunch.

When you get there, Carmilla was already waiting inside. She notices you coming in and the way a small smile forms on her face at the sight of you makes you kind of nervous.

“Sorry I’m late, I got held up at work.” You lie. You can’t just tell her you were spacing out thinking about the two of you.

“It’s fine. It gave me some time to look at the menu.” She stares up and furrows her brow. “I don’t really know what to get though.”

You step in next to her and follow her sight. “Uhh..I think you’d liiiiike…” you point at a spot on the menu. “the _Stakes Are High_ stake sandwich.” She gives you a curious look. “What? It’s bloody and juicy! That’s how you like it!”

She grins and looks back at the menu. “Okay. I trust your judgment.” Her nose crinkles up. “Just as long as there’s no fish. I’m still recovering from that sushi.”

When you giggle at her she glares at you playfully. “With how undercooked you like things I’m surprised you’re still standing.”

“Everyone has their preferences. Just like I _prefer_ you take this one.” She smirks.

“What? You’re the one who wanted lunch!”

“You’re the one that always owes me.”

You pout and squint your eyes at her but her smirk only grows into a crooked wide smile. There’s no way you can say no to her.

“Fine. Next time you’re buying.”

“It’d be my pleasure.” She says teasingly. You bump your elbow against her arm and she returns it with an adorable chuckle that leaves you dazed.

“Next!” you hear by the register and jump back into the present.

“Oh! I’ll take the usual please and the uh- Stakes Are High sandwich.”

“$10.35.”

You pay and step aside feeling Carmilla’s eyes on you.

“The usual?”

You shrug. “Me and my dad come here most days of the week for lunch.”

“Oh, did he already have lunch?”

You feel some of that weight from earlier in your stomach and shake your head. “I don’t know, I came here for you anyway so whatever right?”

“yeah I guess.”

You don’t really feel like seeing your dad right now, it would just remind you of your conversation this morning. Carmilla breaks the mostly comfortable silence between you two as you waited for your orders.

“So…” you look her way as she seems to collect her words. “What _is_ your usual?”

You twist your lips trying not to smile. “You’re gonna judge me.”

“Me? Oh please I’d never do such a thing.” She says teasingly.

You look away as you roll your eyes. “It’s a chicken salad sandwich with extra mayo and no cheese.”

“Chicken salad sandwich?”

You look back at her and cross your arms over your chest. “you said you wouldn’t judge!”

“I’m not! It’s just- I’m confused. Is it a salad or a sandwich? Why make it so complicated?”

“I don’t know…maybe it’s got...extra lettuce.” She huffs at that with a toothy smile. “Shut up.” You bump shoulders with her and she lets out a small laugh making you join her. It goes quiet again after you lean back against the railing, and you can feel her still looking at you. You’re too afraid to look at her back and ask why but she finally mirrors your position sliding closer to you. You can feel her side pressed against yours and your cheeks start to feel warmer and warmer.

Your order finally comes up, Carmilla and you taking one of the small booths by the door. She starts unwrapping her sandwich and you jump in.

“Okay- if you actually like hate it please forgive me.”

“Pulling back now are we? Where did all that confidence go?”

“If Kirsch, your longtime best friend manages to get you sick, who says I wont?”

“Kirsch is a toddler, you’re a grown working woman. I think you have better odds.” She says holding the sandwich near her mouth.

  
“It’s just, we always go to the diner or eat take out or pizza, I mean how am I supposed to- ” she rolls her eyes and takes a bite. You silently watch as she slowly chews on it and swallows but doesn’t say anything. “Well?!” She squints her eyes but doesn’t reply. “Carm!”

“It’s good.”

“Good? That’s it, good?? Are you sure because you really don’t have to lie to make me feel better-“

“Laura it’s good. I mean it. A bit overboard with the sauce but..” she shrugs and pats the sandwich against the other wrapper, some of the sauce rubbing off, and takes another bite.

You shake your head and you can tell she’s smiling at you as she chews. You unwrap your own sandwich and dig in when you notice someone from the office getting in line. You recognize the guy as Eli who sometimes gets your dad’s lunch and your mood goes back down.

You try not to look at Carmilla for the rest of the meal.

“God, I can’t stretch my legs in this booth.” You hear her say but focus on chewing, that’s until you feel her rest her leg over your knee, making you finally look up. “aah, much better.”

“Your boots are dirty.”

“They’re not touching you.”

“They smell.”

“Is it as much as your chicken salad sandwich?” she teases and you playfully smack the leg resting over yours.

“so much for the no judging.” You say and she chuckles.

“Is it really bothering you?” she says with a more gentle look on her face that catches you off guard.

“No.” she gives you a shy smile and goes back to her food. Now that you looked at her you can’t seem to look away, focusing on the stray hair from her bangs and the way it slightly brushes against the bump on her nose, the more ‘put together’ make up she has on today as her long lashes point down, the small mole peaking over her shirt between her neck and shoulder, the way this all seems so normal between you two as she enjoys another bite of her meal. “Hey, Carm?” her eyes instantly look up at you and her chewing slows down with her questioning hum. “You wanna go with me to some award thing?”

“Award thing?”

“It’s a LaF award thing. They told me I could bring two people. It can be you and Kirsch!”

“When is it?”

“Three weeks.” Carmilla seems to be mulling it over and you think maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned it so early. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can take Betty and my dad or something.”

“No no, I’ll go.” She interjects.

“Really?” you ask hopefully, “You’d have to dress up and all that.”

“Yeah I’ll go.” You start to smile but try to maintain your cool. “If it’s with you I’ll go.” Your smile quickly widens.

“Okay.” You say trying to hold in your excitement.

“And I’ll tell the beefcake about it. I doubt he has better plans.”

“Okay, yeah.” You nod and continue smiling. “Thanks.”

You think you see Carmilla blush before she looks back down at what’s left of her meal.

“Yeah.”

 

Lunch with Carmilla was nothing like you’d expect it to be. Sure, near the end you had to rush since you only had an hour break but those few minutes with her managed to turn your mood around enormously. Whatever Carmilla is to you, she _is_ a friend too. A good one. The next few days the two of you don’t see much of each other but you call almost every night. Sometimes she sends you annoyed pictures of her at work dealing with Burt’s mistakes, and you think that maybe you and her don’t need to act a certain way to be close. You’ve known each other for _months_ now, in more ways than just one.

So you’re not avoiding her, you really aren’t, but you’re not exactly going after her either. You _have_ been busy, she knows that.

Carmilla (11:41am): have you eaten yet?

Laura (11:41am): I forgot time existed with this meeting. It’s never ending.

Carmilla (11:42am): I’ll take that as a no then

Laura (11:42am): yeah I think I’m gonna be stuck here forever.

Carmilla (11:43am): call me as soon as you’re done. It’s important

Laura (11:43am): what is it? Do you want me to sneak out now?

Carmilla (11:43am): just, call me when you’re done ok

The meeting lasts almost another hour and you’re not even thinking about your lost lunch break, instead your foots been constantly tapping while you worry over Carmilla’s texts. Did something happen? Is she okay?

As soon as the meeting ends you rush out of there and call her.

“Carm?!”

“You done?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just got out. Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m by the lobby. The tall blonde friend of yours said I could wait here.”

“What?” you’re more confused that before. “I’m coming down.” You take the elevator and chew on your lip not knowing what’s going on so when you see her sitting in the small couch by the lobby you visibly relax. “Carm.”

She sees you and gets up making her way to you. “Hey.” She looks at you curiously. “what’s wrong?”

“What? I don’t know I thought you were gonna tell me.”

“What?”

“You said it was something important. I panicked okay!”

She chuckles and shows you the paper bag she had behind her back. “I was around picking some stuff up, wanted to see if you were busy.” She offers you the bag. “You said it might be another hour so I just…figured I could get you something. Since I was already by.”

Your cheeks feel like they can’t go any higher with how big you started smiling. “Carm…” you start looking through the bag. “What’d you get me?”

“Chicken salad sandwich.” She says and you quickly look back towards her surprised. You don’t speak back so she just keeps going. “no cheese right?”

“Extra mayo.” You say and she rolls her eyes.

“Extra mayo.” She smiles and you feel as if your chest is full enough to raise you up and soar.

You’re about to thank her when Betty interrupts the two of you gazing at each other.

“Laura, Mrs. Mitchel’s should be waiting for you at your office for that briefing.”

You break your gaze and look to Betty. “Right! Thanks Betty.” She nods and goes back to her files. You look back to Carm and she’s already backing away.

“Well as fun as sitting here doing nothing was, I actually have work to get back to.”

“How’d you even get here?”

“I got a company van from Will’s gig remember. Found a nice parking and everything.” She keeps backing away and the two of you aren’t even trying to hide the smiles on your faces.

“No one finds parking in this area.” You tease.

“You underestimate me.” She jiggles her car keys in front of you with a smirk. “Don’t work yourself too hard, sweetheart.”

Her calling you that here in person, out in the open at work, makes your whole body feel like it’s buzzing. When she turns to leave the lobby you act on instinct.

“Wait-!”

Carmilla turns slightly, waiting for you to say whatever it is she thought you wanted to tell her. But instead you simply stare at her trying to hide your content smile. You walk up to her as she stares at you puzzled. You look to Betty and see she isn’t paying any attention to either of you so why not?

You go for it.

You grab a handful of Carmilla’s shirt and pull her into a quick kiss. Neither of you step away once your lips aren’t touching anymore, Carmilla’s eyes watching your lips as a smile grows on them. When she finally looks at your eyes her familiar smirk forms. The way her brows raise as if questioning you makes you grin a bit bashfully.

“Thank you.” You finally say. Neither of you stepping away yet.

She chuckles and shakes her head a bit. “thank me later.” She quickly pecks you on the lips and gently pushes you as she start walking away.

And as you watch her go through the glass doors you think that maybe, just maybe, you aren’t that busy anymore to be with her.

-

You’re ready for bed, finishing up a bowl of cereal when your phone rings in your room. You rush to go get it knowing Laura’s the one who usually calls you at night.

“Hey.”

“Thanks for lunch.”

You smile to yourself and go back to your bowl of cereal. “I was just around...”

“Shut up and let me thank you okay.”

You chuckle and take a last spoonful. “okay okay, thank me again then.”

“Thank you.”

You smile as you put the empty bowl in the sink. “Anything else?”

“Are you in bed already?”

you stare down at yourself and back at your room. “No, not yet.”

“Good.”

You furrow your brow curious. “Why?”

“Because I’m already here.”

You put your phone down and go to open the door. There she is, as beautiful as always standing shyly outside your apartment.

“Hey.” She says.

“Hey.” Her eyes never leave your face but she doesn’t say anything else after that. You’re not quite sure what you should do. “You’re here.”

“I am.”

“Why?” you say and it comes off a bit harshly which you didn’t meant for at all. You can tell by Laura’s face that you should clarify before she storms off. “Not that I’m complaining. Quite the opposite really.” _God you ruined everything._

She takes a deep breath and steps closer. “You brought me lunch.”

Her fingertips travel up your bicep, to rest delicately on the side of your neck. The touch has you so dazed that you simply nod as a reply.

“So it got me thinking.” You feel her fingers move back, lightly brushing the hair at the nape of your neck. You lick your lips trying to focus on her words instead of the way your body is already tingling. “There’s still dinner left right?”

“It’s past 11pm…” you barely manage to say.

“So?” her other hand gently slides under your shirt, her knuckles brushing against your hip. You visibly swallow. She finally looks into your eyes an you think you’re so done. “Cravings don’t just go away.” She smirks at you.

“And what exactly are you craving, Cupcake?”

She snorts and your smile grows. “Well…” the way she bites her bottom lip, pausing for a moment before she finally leans closer to kiss you makes you feel weak at the knees. The hand she had on your neck start slowly trailing down and you literally sigh into the kiss from the touch and anticipation. She takes a step forward making you take one back. “..a lot of things but..” she kisses you again, taking another step and you almost lose your grip on the door. “most of them involving you.” You slam the door shut, your now free hands tugging Laura even closer to you, her hips pressed against yours making you crave the feel of her skin under all those clothes. Something you’ve been craving for weeks now since she’s been back. Laura drags her nails over your stomach and brushes her lower lip against yours teasingly. You guide the two of you back towards your room, your fingers desperate to feel Laura’s skin against them. You brush your nose against hers not knowing if it’s the right time to kiss her back, something you’ve been dying to do every night when she sweetly said good night to you through the phone.

But it’s been so long, and you don’t know what she wants or doesn’t want anymore. She’s changed with you, drifted further enough for you to question if she even really wanted you anymore.

Laura’s fingers loop around your underwear’s waistband and you thank whatever God there is that you sleep in only them and a tank top. You exhale sharply and Laura’s lips finally come back to yours kissing you deeply and carefully. And she does want you. She still does.  
Her hands leave you to gently push you down on the bed and you sit there worshipping her standing over you. You start unbuttoning her shirt, watching as her chest rises and falls more deeply with the release of each button.

Is she as nervous as you or just as eager?

Once her shirt is open you gawk at her, your hands dragging over her small breasts, her bra is still blocking them from your prying eyes. You keep dragging your hands down to her bare stomach and God did you miss how it felt against your hands. Laura pushes you further down against the bed, her strong arm helping to scoop you higher for better space. Once she’s finally above you, her hair draping on one side while she looks at you, she starts kissing you again. And it’s not like it was a few minutes ago.

It feels the way it used to and God did you miss it. You missed kissing Laura.

Her hand starts dragging down your thigh, her nails digging into your skin a few times as she deepened the kiss. When your hand goes into her hair, brushing it back before tugging her closer, hers stopped touching you, briefly enough to make you whine into the kiss. You felt her hand come back, this time tugging at your underwear. She started toying with your waistband, her hands going under it, ready to pull them down. She suddenly stops kissing you, and you open your eyes searching for what you did wrong. Instead you find her looking down at you through heavy lidded eyes a crooked smile forming across her lips. She pulls your shirt up and over your head and she start kissing you across your chest.

She’s got you so lost in her trance that when she starts pushing herself downwards, your eyes can only follow her path. She kisses down your stomach, sucking ever so often, leaving you with small marks already. And your hips just want to press themselves up from the anticipation. Laura’s face hovers over your underwear, her hands trailing up and down your thighs as she teases you. She comes back up towards you, her lips brushing their way through your stomach, your chest, your neck.

And you can only sigh in bliss, your back arching to feel her body closer against yours.

She kisses you one more time, her tongue moving slowly doing only what Laura can do to you. You don’t even open your eyes once she stops kissing you, making her way back down your body. Her lips brushing over your nipples, her hands finally going to your underwear as she slowly slides them off.

Everything is so achingly slow, it’s killing you. You don’t know how much more you can even take.

You feel her kissing the inside of your thigh, her lips getting closer and closer to where you need them to be. She drags her lower lip over your folds and you can only open your legs wider for her to start. You feel the way she grin as she kisses a bit higher that when your clit is and you whimper under her. When she finally lunges forward, her tongue dipping through your wet folds, you gasp, your hips lifting from the bed. Laura steadies you back as she starts making slow rhythmic movements with her mouth and you can only grind against her ever so slightly.

Laura’s arms scoop under your thighs, her hands pulling you closer to her face. You’re already moaning when you feel her nails dig in, her flat tongue making its way through your wet folds up to your clit. You can’t believe how wet you are, it’s clearly been way too long. Laura starts sucking on your clit, your hips trying to follow her movements but quickly becoming more frantic.

Laura stops moving for a moment and she focuses on circling your clit teasingly before diving back in. The sudden action made you whimper pleadingly as you threw your head back. You felt Laura’s tongue go back down your folds before coming back to focus on your clit and the wave hit you in a matter of seconds. Your hips could barely move properly as you came with a quiet and amazing orgasm.

You think that’s the fastest it’s ever happened. You’ve really been on a dry spell for way too long.

 

Your whole body feel sensitive as it keeps tingling and Laura finally rises up with a victorious grin. You try to steady your heavy breathing as you look down at her, Laura’s chin wet with you. You smirk at the sight and Laura uses her finger to wipe some off before sucking it.

“Five-star meal.”

You bark out in laughter and Laura’s smile widens. Laura lazily makes her way back up towards you, leaning forward to kiss you again and wow did you miss this feeling. Laura starts tilting her to to the side, leaving lazy kisses on your cheek until her face rests near the crook of your neck. You try and tilt your head to the side to look at her but she seems out of it already. You kiss her temple a few times as she rests on top of you.

“You’re tired.”

“No.” she barely manages to grumble.

“Yes you are.” You chuckle and she sighs.

“Yes I am.” You feel her kiss your neck sweetly one last time before drifting to sleep.

-

You wake up in the middle of the night. The belt you were still wearing was digging into your skin and it was really uncomfortable. You were so tired today you didn’t even try to undress. You feel Carmilla’s familiar skin against your fingertips and you nuzzle into her.

“Carm?”

She grumbles in return.

“Can I borrow something?”

She doesn’t even ask you to clarify, instead getting up and looking through her drawers. She offers you a shirt in question and you shake your head.

“I’m cold.”

She puts on the shirt and keeps digging until she comes back with a stretched out dark sweater. You undress and put it on, sighing into the comfort as you snuggled back into Carmilla. You love how sweet she is to you even now as late as it may be. She nuzzles her nose against your hairline and stays there, her breathing tickling you a bit.

You really missed spending nights with her.

-

“Hey! Rise and shine, Grumpy pants!”

You hear someone knocking on your front door and squint your eyes tighter together hoping they go away.

“Come on Grandma! Your fav bro is here!”

Great.

You push yourself away from Laura who starts to stir and get out of bed. Kirsch continues knocking and you growl at the door while unlocking it.

“WHAT?!” you yell angrily.

“BRO!” he hugs you hard. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in like forever!”

You’re glaring at him with your puffy sleepy eyes when he pulls back. He looks down at you and sees your still pants-less.

“What?” you ask harshly but he hears footsteps coming from your room and stares automatically.

You both watch as Laura yawns in your big sweater and some pajama pants your guessing she picked up to come out.

“Hey Kirsch.” She rubs her eyes, yawning again.

Kirsch’s eyes widen. “OH! Hey Laura!” he looks over at you with the biggest shit eating grin while you glare daggers at him.

“What do you want, Kirsch?”

“Well it’s been weeks since the last time I was here and back then you barely had anything in your fridge. So I’m here to take you grocery shopping.”

“Go away.” You try and close the door on him.

“Woah he’s right. Carm you barely even have milk in here.” Says Laura now bending by the fridge. “You should go with him.”

The knowing feeling you get as to what those words lead to makes you feel down.

_Laura leaving again._

Kirsch watches you for a bit. “Hey, Laura, you wanna come with? You can get her to change her mood with me!”

“I mean... I don’t know.” She stares down at herself. “I don’t have anything clean to wear.”

“You don’t have to go to work today?” you ask a bit hopefully and she shakes her head. “I can…lend you some of my stuff.”

“Awesome! Let’s get moving!” says Kirsch already heading down the steps.

You never thought you’d see Laura wearing ripped black jeans and your boots. She borrowed an old t-shirt she’s worn to sleep before but it’s chilly out so you gave her a beanie. She’s so chipper and adorable walking down the aisles at the grocery store that you can’t help but follow her with a big smile. Kirsch keeps trying to take pictures of you but you just keep giving him the finger every time. Laura doesn’t seem to care at all, pushing the shopping kart and messing with you while laughing.

It all feels so normal.

When you get back you leave Kirsch and Laura alone to go to work. They’re both trying to make food together in your kitchen, laughing and fooling around.

“Try not to strangle the new guy this time.” Laura teases.

“He’s not even new anymore.” You say shaking your head but smiling.

“Later bro.” says Kirsch and before you step out the door you wink at Laura who giggles and sticks her tongue out at you.

 

And you think you might actually be enjoying this.

-

“Don’t you usually have weekends off?”

“Will still isn’t back so I’m still covering for him.”

“Face it Carm, he dumped you and his workload for someone else. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Carmilla groans on the other side of the phone.

“I swear if he doesn’t get back here in two weeks I’m changing the door locks and renting his apartment.”

“Yeah? What sane person would ever want to be your roommate?” you laugh.

“Are you offering? You _are_ crazy for my hardwood floors. I wouldn’t be surprised.” She teases back.

“No way, who knows what Will’s been up to in that room.” You shudder at the thought alone.

Carmilla sighs sounding unmotivated. “You wouldn’t guess where my gig is though.”

“Where?”

“I’ll show you. Bye.”

She hangs up and after a few seconds you receive a picture of her standing outside flipping off your building. You laugh and send one back with a bunched up face, your dad overly concentrated on work in the background.

Carmilla (3:18pm): wow someone is having fun.

Laura (3:18pm): please, the most fun I’ve had is laughing at ur dumb picture

Carmilla (3:19pm): dumb?? That picture was a performance piece in protest.

Laura (3:19pm): what were u protesting, ‘buildings aren’t people’?

Carmilla (3:20pm): more like ‘I’m freezing out here and you’re not.’ <3

You giggle and your dad calls you back to help him with something.

Laura (3:20pm): Wear that beanie you lent me :B

Carmilla (3:21pm): maybe tomorrow

Laura (3:22pm): what’s all that for anyway?

Carmilla (3:22pm): Apparently some charity concert. The channel’s broadcasting it and everything.

Laura (3:23pm): Wow, how come I haven’t heard of this before? It’s happening literally on our street.

Carmilla (3:24pm): beats me.

Carmilla (3:24pm): guess you were too busy to notice the dozens of posters around the block.

Laura (3:25pm): I’m sensing sarcasm aren’t I

Carmilla (3:25pm): ;)

Carmilla (3:25pm): I’d suggest not driving tomorrow.

Laura (3:26pm): I’ll warn my dad

Laura (3:26pm): thanks :B <3

Carmilla (3:27pm): you and your dad are quite welcome. I just hope it doesn’t rain ugh.

Carmilla (3:27pm): talk later, cutie. Gotta drive back to get more things.

You leave your dad’s office to go and stare out the window. Maybe she’s still standing there. You spot her looking at her phone and feel warmth wrap you up. You breath on the glass over Carmilla and draw horns and a tail on her with your finger. You chuckle to yourself and take a picture.

Laura (3:29pm): - download image-

You watch as she receives your message and a sly smirk forms across her face. She turns around and tries to find which window you’re standing by, giving you the finger when she finally does. You see her look back down at her phone and text.

Carmilla (3:30pm): real cute.

You just laugh and wave goodbye to her. At least you got to see her from a distance. You’ve both been too busy to actually spend time with one another. It both surprises and scares you how much lighter you feel after just seeing her like this.

Maybe tomorrow you’ll get to see her again, even if it’s for a bit through the dumb office window.

 

The next day you follow Carmilla’s advice and take the subway with your dad instead of driving and thank God you did. The whole street was blocked off even at the early hour of 7am. People where starting to gather but it was still pretty tame. Your dad told you the weather was going to be chilly today so you brought your coat along with something for Carmilla. Knowing her, she probably didn’t even wear sleeves today. You think about calling her as soon as you get there but reconsider when you remember what time it is.

She can’t be here this early.

You gnaw on your bottom lip and look around a bit just in case, your dad follows beside you.

“Geez, who knew this thing would be so big.” He says looking around as well.

“Yeah. Supposedly it starts soon. Some charity concert thing.” You reply halfheartedly, still focusing on spotting her dark haired head.

“Hmm, interesting. Maybe we can sneak a peek during lunch. What if Madonna comes on??”

You chuckle, shaking your head at your dad, and you give up looking. “Free concert? I think we both know you’re not missing _that_ opportunity, dad.”

He smiles and shrugs. “I’m a man of great musical taste.” The two of you laugh, your dad staring forward at something, his brow knitting together. “Hey isn’t that your friend?”

You quickly try and follow his sight. “What?? Which one??”

He points a bit ahead of you down the street and you see her. Her dark locks pushed down with the beany she had lent you at the grocery store and you hit the nail on the head with the sleeveless shirt. Well…a black polo shirt with the channel brand on it.

“Well, aren’t you going to say hello?” your dad asks interrupting your thoughts.

“What? Uh…No it’s fine, she seems busy.” You dodge but then Carmilla notices you and smiles your way.

“Guess not.” Your dad says lowly as she comes closer and you glare at him as pointedly as you can. He simply shrugs and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his coat.

“Hey.”

“Hey…” you both smile at each other for a moment until Carmilla notices your dad too.

“Hi Mr. Hollis, it’s nice to see you again.” She says extending her hand to him and he shakes his head accepting the hand.

“ _Jack, please_. I owe you for sparing us the traffic there’s bound to be here today.”

“Glad to help. I would never hear the end of it from her if she had to deal with it.” She gestures at you and you blush embarrassed.

Why would she just go and imply things like that with your _DAD_? You never really  _did_ warn her about that talk you and him had…not that…you had to tell her about that anyway.

“As if I’d choose to nag at you instead of my _dad_.”

Your dad snorts and this whole conversation has your nerves on edge. Carmilla doesn’t seem at all bugged by it, instead staring somewhere into the small crowd, making gestures at someone.

“Uh- hey dad?” he looks your way. “Why don’t you go on ahead; I’ll catch up real soon.” He gives you a stern look and you fight back with your brows raised and a pointed look. He retreats at that.

“Alright, but don’t you start being late.” He points at you and you nod.

“I’ll be right behind you.”

He nods and ducks his head at Carmilla. “Keep an eye on her.”

Carmilla grins and nods back. Now that the two of you are left alone you’re not really sure what to say or how to start.

“Any particular reason why you kicked your dad out of this conversation?”

You scoff. “As if you wanted him to stick around.”

She shrugs. “I’m not complaining.”

The two of you chuckle and you go to start talking but stop yourself. You reach into your bag instead, pulling out the Christmas sweater you got for her during your last trip.

“I figured you’d try and fight the cold today so.” You hand it over. “I uh..I may have gotten it for you back in Europe. Souvenir and all that. Kinda forgot to give it to you though…sorry.”

She unfolds it and presses it against herself. “A Grumpy Cat. Really.” You shrug not really biting back. “We’ll see if it gets chilly enough for me to accept this gift.”

“Whatever. I know you secretly like it. It’s red!”

“Red doesn’t mean I automatically need it on me.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m leaving now. Don’t go letting your pride freeze you to death.” You start walking.

“We’ll see!” she replies loud enough for you to hear a few steps away.

 

Once you’re in the building you head up to the window where you have a view bellow. The joy and warmth you feel when you finally spot Carmilla again wearing the sweater and barking out orders makes you feel fulfilled and a bit prouder than you’re willing to accept. Mostly because other than taking care of Kirsch; you’ve never seen her be so dedicated to something.

The concert ends somewhere around 6pm, the workers taking things down as soon as the crowd starts clearing out. How they were finished so fast; you’ll never know, but you don’t think any of them had a single break. You wonder if Carmilla even had time to grab dinner after the concert. You still had some leftovers from today, so what if you returned the favor from last time?

 

_Would it mean anything?_

 

“Hey dad?” you call somewhere behind you.

“Yeah?”

“I’m heading out early okay?”

“What about the report on the docks?”

“I’ll have it done later.” You turn and see your dad looking tired. “Hey-” he looks your way, “why don’t we take a couple days for us? You know, father-daughter time.”

He goes through the pages in his hands. “I don’t know, sweetie…”

“Come on! Don’t worry about that.” You walk up to him and push his papers back to the desk. “I’ll have it done by then. Two days?” you plead and he sighs deeply.

“Okay, two days then.”

“Awesome. See you tomorrow, dad.” You kiss him on the cheek and head outside.

-

You take the last set of rolled up cables and add them to the rest on the back of your van with a relieved sigh.

“Finally.” You say to yourself and sit at the back of the van. The cloud of your warm breath reminds you it’s both late and cold out, but the warmth wrapped around your body reminds you you’re wearing Laura’s sweater. You look down at your hands on your lap, tugging at the sleeves to keep warm when you hear someone approaching.

“Told you you’d need it.” Laura says as she goes to stand in the street by your van.

“It was the easiest way to carry it around.” You tease and she huffs out a smile.

“Sure.”

The two of you stay there for a quiet moment with nothing but the distant sound of cars and footsteps.

“I uh…brought you something.” She says as she looks somewhere near your feet.

“Another gift? Boy you sure are giving today.” you say with a teasing smirk and she bunches up her face at you.

“Shut up. I didn’t finish my food and I thought _‘Gee, I wonder if there’s some poor lonely soul who might want these leftovers more than me’_ and here you are, practically begging me for them.”

“ _Oh kind beauty, how could I possibly repay such an act of generosity?_ ” you play along and she laughs.

“A few minutes of your time would suffice. Would you like to learn about our lord and savior KFC?” she says pulling out a bag of KFC leftovers as the two of you quietly laugh with each other.

“For you? Anything!” you say dramatically.

Laura takes a seat next to you on the back of your van, bringing out a box with a few biscuits and friend chicken. The two of you keep messing around with each other while you eat, but every time Laura looks away sucking at her fingers, getting lost in the conversation after staring at the night sky for too long or licking her lips and laughing with you; you can’t help but watch her.

“You know,” you start and catch Laura’s attention again. “I think this is the most romantic ‘conversion’ I’ve ever been a part of.”

She chuckles and ducks her head a bit. “Could it be!” she gasps, “Have I actually converted someone into the church of friend chicken?”

“I think you got the wrong restaurant that time, Cupcake.”

“Pff nonsense, Church’s chicken just…has a dumb name.” she shrugs, eating another cold fry.

“Whatever you say oh wise one.” You shake your head slightly. “I think I might actually consider joining your strange fried cult.” You state taking the last bite from your biscuit.

“Really?” you nod and suck on your thumb. “How ever could I get you to make up your mind?”

You smirk and adjust yourself to face her better. “Well…I can think of a few ways…”

She raises a brow at you. “Really now…” you nod and lean a bit closer.

“Only if you think me worthy of something so _intimate_.”

She leans closer too. “Oh I don’t know. I’d have to check with my cult leaders.”

“Oh that’s too bad.” You say and she nods but keeps leaning in.

“Maybe just one…” her lips finally touch yours and you don’t even pay any mind to how greasy both your lips are from the chicken. Laura’s lips always feel good to you.

You pull away, Laura now licking her lips. “Okay, I’m in. When do I start?” you say a bit raspier and out of breath than normal.

“Later.” She quickly wipes her hands against her pants and grabs your face pulling you back into a kiss, and you let her. You let her and you melt into it. Your warm breath and hers tingling against your face when either you pulled away enough to keep kissing every few seconds.

And you think about how you don’t really need Laura’s sweater to make you feel warm anymore.

 

You haven’t heard of Laura for two days after that night in the back of your van. So when she finally calls, you answer eagerly.

“Laura?”

“Hey! Sorry for being out of the loop.”

“I was wondering when you’d pop up again.” You lay on your futon facing the ceiling.

“Yeah.” She chuckles.

“Work?”

“Actually no. Me and my dad made like a mini vacation.”

“Huh, I gotta say I didn’t see that one coming.”

“We played lazer tag, saw Lalaland and cried, went to museums. It was great.”

You smile to yourself, “Sounds eventful.”

“Haha yeah.”

The two of you go quiet and you’re wondering if she just called to check in or talk. “What about now?”

“What _about_ now?” she asks back and you don’t know what you’re getting at.

“Well, are you still under dad lock down?”

“Technically no.”

“Technically?”

“Well why do you ask?”

Why _do you_ ask?

“I guess I just thought you’d want to come by later. Maybe do some _activities_.”

“Activities?” she giggles and your smile grows.

“Yeah. If you want to.”

She doesn’t reply right away and you think maybe she’ll back out like usual.

“Are you in a hurry?” she asks and the question puzzles you a bit.

“I can wait.”

You can practically hear the gears on her mind turning.

“I have to stay awake to finish some things up so… _I guess_ I can come by but…”

“I’ll keep you awake.”

Again she goes quiet.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

Your smile widens, “Okay.”

 

She shows up in jeans and a green sweating, with a…backpack? You look at her perplexed but letting her come in and it seems she can tell why.

“Okay, so, I have got to finish this paperwork tonight because I promised my dad I’d have this taken care of by tomorrow so we could have some time with each other for a few days.” you nod as she catches her breath. “It backfired.”

You scoff. “I can see that.”

“But it was totally worth it! Please please pleaaaase let me finish up here. Then we can do whatever you want. Gay scouts honor.” She holds three fingers up and you shake your head with laughter. You hold the door open wider for her and gesture inside. “Thank you! I promise I’ll be quick.” She goes to the kitchen island and starts un packing a stack of papers.

“Oh no, take your time.” You say a bit sarcastically but she doesn’t seem to be paying you any mind.

You try and make yourself busy reading a book and looking through your phone but it’s useless. You sigh loudly and stand cross armed by the futon, staring grumpily at Laura. She looks your way and rolls her eyes.

“Just- entertain yourself or something.”

“I thought that was what you were here for.”

“Well just- stare at my ass in the meantime or something! I’ll be done in no time.”

You groan and slouch down onto the futon but glance down at her ass. You shrug, “Fine.” At first you watched Laura as she worked, but your eyes started roaming elsewhere around Laura’s body, noticing the small things. How her toes barely reached the cold hardwood floor when she sits on the kitchen stall. The way she took her sweater off, her back curving smoothly as she leaned her elbows on the kitchen island. The way her arms moved when she flipped through her pages. How her forearms clenched while she was scribbling something on the paper with a pen. How she twists her hair to one side and some of it escapes from the rest, sliding over her shoulder, a think honey like curtain that just hid some of her face. The way her fingers went and tucked those hairs behind her own ear. Your eyes followed the path her small moles on the side of her neck now showed, your eyes catching the way her lips moved as she silently read the words on the pages to herself. Her nose crinkle when she seemed to not get something.

You were lost.

And all you could do was search through every corner of Laura Hollis.

Before you knew it, she was turning your way with a big successful smile. “DONE!” You snapped out of your daze and realized you’d been sitting there for God knows how long just staring at her. She made her way towards you and sat on your lap, her legs stretched out on the rest of the futon. She wrapped her arms around your neck, “See, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

And you could only give her a small nod as you tried to understand why watching her work was so wonderful to you. Laura’s brow knitted together but she still smiled at your silent response. You feel the corner of your lips turn up and Laura just giggles at you before leaning in and finally kissing you.

 

As you make out the rest of the night, you can’t help but focus on how Laura keeps smiling into your kisses.

 

Laura’s been coming over more often again even though the two of you always seem to be busy. You don’t know how she works so much and always acts so chipper. Working all this overtime is wearing you down to the point that you walked into your apartment and didn’t even undress or get under the covers. But when Laura calls you, you don’t hesitate to pick up.

“Hey.”

“Hey..” you rasp out and she chuckles at the sound.

“Wow, they’ve really got you powered out already.”

“Mmhm.” You barely say back, your eyes not having opened since you landed on your bed.

“Guess that means I should let you be.”

You try and argue but words don’t make their way to your mouth.

“Have a goodnight, Carm.” She says, going to end the call but you don’t want it to be over.

“Come over.” You barely manage to muster out.

“Really??” You grumble as a response and she laughs. “Be there soon then.” When she gets there you can hear her making her way to your room. “You know, you really should learn to lock your door.”

You grumble as a response not even looking her way and she laughs once she reaches the door. Apparently you’d only managed to take one of your boots off, so you heard her drop her things and help you undress.

“Are you taking advantage of me?” you tease being more awake with all the movement going on around you.

“In this state? No way. I like my girls awake and willing thank you very much.”

“I’m willing.” You say and her chuckle brings joy to your ears.

“Maybe later.”

When she’s done with your pants she gets into bed with you. You extend an arm over her and feel her shirt. You worry your brow. “Too much clothing.”

“Hm?” You tug at her shirt and feel her shake her head before undressing to her underwear. “Better?”

“Very.” You feel Laura’s familiar warm skin against your touch and enjoy having it back even if it’s just for tonight.

You don’t think about how you didn’t even hesitate to tell her to come over just to sleep.

 

When the weekend comes and you finally have a day off, you tell Laura to stop by if she wants. She agreed but didn’t say anything else so you didn’t know when to expect her. Sure usually she comes during the night but you’ve spent time with her during the day too. Though it wasn’t ever really planned. So when the hours start passing and it starts raining out in the afternoon, you wonder if she’s going to come at all. At one point during the night you actually hope she doesn’t. The storm outside picked up to such an extent that the electricity went off. The pre-winter chills forced you to at least turn some candles on all over the apartment and hunker down on the floor by your couch.

It’s the middle of the night when you hear the knock on your door and Laura coming in. Her hair is damp, her nose and lips red with the cold and she takes a look at the candles around your apartment.

“Well aren’t you quite the mood setter.”

“You know, I’d find your smart ass comments cute if I wasn’t freezing inside my own apartment.”

Laura sheds her coat and the Silas University hoodie she had underneath, her hands brushing back her hair as she walks towards you in her fuzzy socks. She kneels down behind you and wraps her arms around you. “I’ll warm you up.” You hum in approval, taking in Laura’s warmth and smell.

A whiny moan escapes your lips. “You smell like hot chocolate.”

Laura beams a little at that. “That reminds me!” She gets up and leaves you on the floor again and you’re about to start whining again when she pulls out some packets from her coat, showing them to you with a grin and eyebrow wiggle.

“You’ve been carrying that around…this _whole_ time?!”

“Betty gave me some extra packets at the office after making some.” You glare at her. “You want some or not?”

“Want.”

“Great. Now stop whining and come help me make it you angry popsicle stick.”

“You’re calling me food names now too?” You ask as you start getting up from the floor.

“It felt appropriate.”

“Popsicles would be straight. I’m not straight.” You make your way towards her and wrap your arms around her waist. A shiver going down your body at the change in temperature.

“You’re cold enough to be.”

“Mhm?”

She nods and you nuzzle your face into her warm neck. “Doesn’t matter, you’ll change that in a sec.” You rub your cheek against Laura’s trying to absorb some of her natural warmth.

“Go ahead. I’ll let you leach off of me for a while.” She snickers and you smirk, kissing her cheek.

“Did I ever tell you how I love the way you’re so giving with me?” You say to her ear before nibbling on it, Laura’s knees going limp for a second.

“You’ve failed to mention that, nope.” She quickly answers back as she starts stirring the pot. Her head tilting, giving you more space and you take it, brushing your lips against her neck leaving small kisses on it.

“Well I’ll just show you how grateful I can be.” You say low enough for only the two of you to hear and she finally looks your way, her eyes staring down at your lips eagerly. She kisses you, her warm lips reeling you in for more. One of your hands goes under her shirt, pressing against her warm stomach, and you feel how deeply her ribcage rises and falls against your fingertips. The boiling pot in front of you catching Laura’s attention again.

You sigh and hold her closer as she stirs the hot chocolate, shutting your eyes to revel in the quiet and comfortable moment. You think you lose track of time when you feel Laura look at you and huff out a smile. She turns off the stove and places her hands over yours. You hum in approval, her hands warm from being near the hot chocolate. After a few seconds she moves away and grabs some mugs from the shelf remembering where you keep them and it brings a smile to your face you didn’t intend on having.

The realization makes you nervous.

She pours the hot chocolate and carefully hands you a mug while leaning against the counter. She smiles at you as soon as you burn yourself.

“It’s hot you dummy.”

“I know. _Finally_ , warmth.”

She keeps smiling at you and you make your way back to the couch, Laura following suit and climbing on next to you. Both your legs comfortably tucked under yourselves.

“What do you want to do on this cold and quiet night?” you say teasingly, your mood significantly better that it was before she got here.

She smiles and shrugs. “I don’t mind just hanging out here.” And you nod, taking a sip with a small moan. “You like it?”

“Mhm.” You nod and carefully taste some more, Laura adjusting herself deeper into the couch, her head resting back.

She seems different. Her eyes looking clearly a bit worn out from the long day she probably had and you stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

Laura just nods and you go into your room coming back with a blanket, snuggling back onto the couch by her side and she moves closer after a while. Her hand pulling yours around her so that she’s in your arms and you love the comfortable warmth she brings you.

You press your face to her hairline and shut your eyes, the hand behind hers brushing through her hair soothingly and the two of you just sit there comfortably with each other for most of the night.

 

-

You feel great the next morning. Carmilla just being so gentle and caring with you was so soothing. You’d dare say you even felt a bit pampered and well rested. Sometimes a good cuddle is all a woman needs. You walk into work feeling relaxed and brand new, the cold outside not having even bothered you this morning. But when you walk into your dad’s office you can tell by his same clothes that he obviously hasn’t slept all night. You look at him concerned and notice he’s much more jittery than any usual caffeinated night so you’re already concerned. After your trip to Europe things have been a lot calmer at work, you’ve both even had more free time during the mornings. So what’s wrong?

“Dad?”

He looks your way and you can see the distant panicking in his eyes. “Laura! Thank god you’re here. I think I need my bag. I can’t find my bag.”

“Your bag?”

“Yes, my bag! I can’t- I don’t know- I need to-”

“Woah woah woah, okay just hang on.” You reach into a draw behind him and give him a paper bag to breath into. “You’re doing great, dad. Just breath it in.” you say rubbing his back and his eyes are almost bugging out.

He finally puts the bag down a bit out of breath. “Vordenberg.”

“Vordenberg?”

“Vordenberg- He called. He’s coming ahead of schedule. Lower- he lowered the shares until he meets with you and me. I don’t think he can even do that! Why would he do that?!”

“Okay, dad- we can…we can do this. It’s going to be okay.”

“We don’t have the time! Last weeks charts haven’t come in yet, who knows if this week’s delay too! What are we gonna show him when he gets here?! THE TOWN?!”

“We’ll figure it out dad! Just- just gimme a minute to think.”

Crap.

You’ve never seen your dad so worked up about something other than the Olympics. If he’s nervous about this, you’re nervous too.

If you’re gonna do this, you need Danny. She’s been your right hand man during this whole process, she’s the only one who could help you speed things up.

“Dad, do you know if Danny’s got anything important scheduled?”

“Betty’s got the European reports. I can call her and check.” So he does and once he gets a hold of Danny you take the phone call.

“Danny! Please tell me you really miss the city.”

“What’s going on, Hollis? I couldn’t understand your dad; he seems on edge.”

“He is. And so am I!” you take a deep breath. “Danny, I’m panicking, I think I need your help.”

“Calm down, Laura. Everything will be alright, okay? How can I help?”

“Can you fly here soon?”

“…How soon?”

“As soon as you finish whatever you have scheduled for the week and pack up.”

“I’ll go over the trip plan with your dad.”

You sigh relieved. “Okay, good.” You lean against your dad’s desk. “Danny? Thank you. I owe you one big time.”

“I’ve got your back, Laura.”

You hand your phone over to your dad and feel the stress creep right back in.

So much for feeling soothed and relaxed.

On top of everything LaF’s award thing is tomorrow night and you haven’t even picked out what you’re wearing.

You guess tonight’s the time to finally do that.

When the night finally comes you text Carmilla that you’re on your way to her place. Kirsch said he was already at her place so your nerves tone down a bit.

When Carmilla opens the door for you, you’re awestruck. Her smokey eyes and short dark glittery dress look amazing. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her wearing heels but tonight she is.

“Are you coming in?” she asks with a raised brow and you snap back to reality.

“Yeah! I’m totally in. I’m all in.” you ramble and she gives you an amused nod.

“Kirsch won’t leave without make up. He says even he needs it if it’s for an award show.”

“Hey! It won’t be fair if a guy like me has to stand next to girls like you with no extra game okay!”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and you laugh gesturing to Kirsch. “I’ll put some powder and liner on you.”

“Score one for hot dude of the year! I’m so winning that award.”

“Kirsch-” Carmilla starts but gives up. “...never mind.” He beams as he waits for you to apply make up on him.

“It’s just a stupid handing of awards. We’re just going to sit there and clap at people who think they’re superior than us for winning a dumb little statue.” Carmilla goes on complaining.

“Actually, I think it’s mostly medals.” You pitch in.

“My point.”

“I just hope someone trips. That’ll make it all worth while.”

You roll your eyes as you apply some liner on Kirsch. “Look up and don’t close your eyes.” He nods and does as he’s told, his mouth slightly ajar. “I think it’s nice. People deserve recognition for doing something important for the world. Why not let ‘em live a little?”

“I disagree.” She says dropping down on the couch next to Kirsch.

“Dude! Don’t move the couch!” Kirsch says trying not to move himself and Carmilla scoffs.

“Why waste time and money on a ceremony when you can just pay them some coins and say thank you?”

“Because it’s nice!” you try and defend but it’s impossible to make Carmilla stop brooding.

“Nice doesn’t open any paths in furthering your career.”

You roll your eyes. “No but a couple of awards never hurt anyone’s resume.” You fix the line over Kirsch’s eye. “There, all done.”

“Thanks, Laura.” He blinks awkwardly a few times before turning to his best friend. “You know, I won _Most Infectious Smile_ in high school. I think it’s helped me out with job interviews.”

Carmilla cackles. “You poor pup.”

You feel your phone vibrate and take it out.

LaF (7:15pm): almost there for the pick up!

LaF (7:15pm): Perr says she won’t invite any of you to the Christmas party if you ruin her schedule for tonight so fair warning.

Laura (7:16pm): Got it! Just finishing up here

“They’re almost here! I gotta brush my teeth! That tuna salad for lunch was a bad idea.” You dash into Carmilla’s room with your bag and take out your toothbrush.

“You know there’s probably going to be food there, right?” Carmilla shouts from the living room.

“Let me live!” you start washing your mouth and retouch your mascara once your done. You hear Perry’s van honking at the same time your phone starts ringing and you quickly put away your mascara to head out. “Okay, ready to go.”

“Can’t wait.” Carmilla says sarcastically and Kirsch jumps in place as if preparing for a boxing match.

 

The event was taking place in a hotel, outside they had a small red carpet and everything for the nominees and guests. Kirsch was beaming and asking strangers to take pictures with him incase they were someone big in the science world. LaF was very proud of their suit which Perry helped pick out for the ceremony, the love between the two of them was clear with how they gushed at each other proudly. And you couldn’t help but want what they’ve always had.

“Hey tiny babe! Group selfie!” Kirsch popped up behind you dragging along Carmilla who was looking unimpressed.

You posed for the picture and looked back at Carmilla once Kirsch took it.

“Carm, come on…lighten up.” You pleaded sweetly to her and she stared at your eyes for a second before sighing.

“Take another one, you fan girl.” You smiled and posed again, this time much more excited for the picture to be taken.

“Snap! Aaaaand snap!” Kirsch took a couple and started looking through them. “Hm, not bad, I think Carmilla actually tried to be into it in this one.”

You laugh and Carmilla rolls her eyes but playfully shoves your arm.

“Maybe later she’ll smile too.” You tease and bump into her and you know she’s trying to hide the smile pushing through.

Everyone starts moving down the carpet to head inside but you and Carmilla stay behind. She’s gazing over at the entrance when you’re silently watching her and she looks so beautiful tonight.

“Hey.” You say and she quickly turns her attention to you. “I think your outfit’s missing something.”

She quirks an eyebrow and looks down at herself. “what is it?”

You pull out the silver sword necklace you’ve been carrying around with you for weeks and show it to her as it dangles through your fingers. Her eyes widen as she stares at it sparkling whenever the light slightly hits it. “Wow…that’s a pretty cool necklace.”

“Wanna wear it tonight?” you ask and you’re so nervous, you feel like your heart is going to jump out through your throat.

“How could I say no to such a beauty.” You giggle and put it on her.

“Thanks.”

“For what? I meant the necklace.” She teases and you roll your eyes heading inside with the rest of your friends. And you feel surprised when Carmilla takes your hand to walk inside with you. You’ve only ever held hands a couple of times in public but never in such a…well...public place.

You think about how your hand feels tingly the whole night afterwards and it makes your heart ache in a familiar way.

You don’t know if it’s a good way or not anymore.

She keeps nagging throughout the whole award ceremony though and it makes you think that maybe she really would’ve rather not come along. LaF seems to be enjoying her trash talking the other scientists though so that’s good. Kirsch is more focused on the food and showing you some of the pictures he’s taken tonight including the one’s your in.

One in particular tugged at your heart strings of you and Carmilla in the middle of a playful argument outside, Carmilla smiling at you and you laughing in return. And you think for a moment that maybe you can have what LaF and Perry do.

When the night is over you all go your separate ways. Kirsch runs off with some science guys to ‘show them the science of partying’. LaF and Perry decided to celebrate their medal at home with a stolen bottle of champagne from the event. So that leaves you and Carm in a cab heading to her place. The night got cold real fast and you’re thankful for your past self for bringing along your dad’s coat. Carmilla’s dress was much shorter than your floral patterned skirt so you lent it to her while you waiting for your cab to pick you up. And it all feels so familiar to you, just spending time with her like this with your friends. Even if she was complaining most of the time.

And the familiar feeling in your chest scares you because you know it isn’t confusion anymore.

 

_It’s hope._

 

-

 

When the cab pulls up to your building you step out of the car and start walking towards the steps without a second thought until you turn around and see that Laura isn’t walking with you. You suddenly feel so lost and confused about everything because why would she just come along? You’ve gotten so used to her being with you and staying with you that you didn’t bat an eye at the possibility that she wasn’t joining you.

You walk back to the cab and Laura steps out enough to let the door shield her from you.

“I’m gonna head on home.” She says and you feel uneasy because of course she would go home. She doesn’t have to always stay over; she wasn’t supposed to in the first place.

“Oh, right of course…goodnight.” You say after awhile of just staring at her and she stays put for a bit as if waiting for something but just nods and opens the door enough to get back in.

And you feel like something’s missing, “Wait-” you suddenly say and she immediately steps out.

“Yeah??”

  
Still you just awkwardly stand there staring because you don’t know why you called out to her like that. You don’t know what it is you feel is missing.

“…Your coat.”

“Oh…” Laura stands there waiting for you to give it to her and you snap out of it and start trying to take it off but struggle with it because it’s kind of big on you. And you remember this was the coat she left that first time she was ever even here with you. Laura steps out from behind the door and extends her hands. “Let me.”

She helps you take it off and then puts it on herself with a shy smile and you find how big it looks on her adorable. She grabs the car door again, “Thanks for coming with me tonight by the way.”

“I would never mind keeping you company.” And she smiles at that.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” She laughs a bit.

“What? I try and be a gentlewoman with you and you give me that potty mouth?” you play along and she laughs more.

“It is! You were complaining the whole time!”

“Only mildly.”

The cab driver interrupts your bickering. “Miss?” Laura turns to him.

“Oh, sorry! One second.” She turns to you again. “I should get going.” And you just nod but don’t say anything else because you don’t want to say goodbye and you hate that you know it. “Goodnight, Carm.”

You take a deep breath knowing you have to now. “Night…” Laura takes a step closer to the cab but stops herself for a second and you think that maybe she’s going to ask you if she can stay.

She gnaws on her lip and steps towards you until she’s right in front of you. She gives you a tender goodnight kiss. When she pulls away to leave you pull her back in by her coat.

That damn coat, so clunky and messy like your thoughts right now and you kiss her again. It’s sweet and gentle and with nothing behind it to lead somewhere else.

When you both pull away Laura doesn’t seem okay. She isn’t breathing regularly and she’s fidgeting more than usual but she smiles shyly and ducks her head.

“Bye, Carm.” She quickly pecks you on the cheek and gets in the cab, leaving. You’re left standing there and you don’t know what is going on with you anymore. You don’t want to accept why you wished she’d stayed. All you know is that whatever felt like was missing earlier isn’t anymore. It stopped missing after Laura finally kissed you.

You haven’t been that scared in years.

 

You hastily make your way into your apartment and start undressing and you notice you still have Laura’s necklace around your neck. You twist the shiny metal object between your fingers but don’t take it off, heading to the bathroom to splash some cold water against your face. You notice Laura accidentally left her toothbrush here too and that really makes your heart a jumbling mess. You put it down and wrap yourself in your bed sheets, Laura’s yellow pillow catching your eye.

And you’re confused and scared and you don’t like it. You don’t like how comfortable you are with it while still feeling this vulnerable.

-

Days pass by and Laura has been so busy that she hasn’t been able to even text you properly. Messages like “Hey can’t talk” and “I can’t remember what sleep is like.” But most of all “sorry, busy.”

It’s not like you miss her or anything, not that you’re willing to admit that even to yourself. So when you’re coincidentally in town getting some coffee for you and Frank (who didn’t ask for any), you build up the courage to stop by Laura’s office. Laura’s blonde friend, Betty, who you’ve finally given the time to read her name tag and remember rings you up just like that. So you take the elevator you’ve never taken and walk down the halls that Laura walks daily and you think that maybe you should just turn around. This is some unknown territory between you two and you don’t want Laura to get the wrong idea about all this. After all, you were just in town.

You find what you guessing is Laura’s office and it’s smaller than you thought it’d be. She’s always at her dad’s office instead of her own anyway, and by the looks of her un-decorated desk you’re guessing you’re right. Someone pushes the door open as in strolling along the park when she sees you and you finally see her.

She gives you a completely lost look. “ _Carm_?? What are you doing here?”

You shrug as nonchalantly as possible. “…I was around.” You lift the coffee up.

“Uh huh.” She says in disbelief but with a wide smile now on her face.

You try and act as unaffected and sly as you can when she walks by you to her chair. “So, where have you been lately?”

She drops down to her chair pooped. “ _Here_. Literally here. Every. Single. Day. I _live_ here now.” She lifts her hands up gesturing exaggeratedly at her office.

“I thought you would’ve had your furniture moved in by now.” You say holding a smirk and she gives you a pointed look.

“Haven’t even had the time to bring my shampoo’s!”

You gasp dramatically. “No!”

She cackles and rolls her chair closer to her desk. “Honestly, I miss my bed.”

“Not like you sleep there most of the time anyway.” You say before you can catch what that could imply and Laura opens her mouth to respond but the office phone rings and she picks up.

“Yes, Betty?” she listens on the line and suddenly sighs slouching into her chair. “Mrs. Mitchel wants to see me _again_. Of course she does. Thanks, Betts.” She hangs up and combs her fingers through her hair.

“On call and everything. I’m impressed. I thought you were just the papergirl.” You tease and she rolls her eyes at you but genuinely smiles.

“Duty calls.” She stands up and grabs one of your coffees.

“I never said that was for you.” You tease.

“Too bad.” She kisses your cheek. “Thank you.” She steps away shaking her cup at you and you duck your head feeling a blush try and creep up on you. She stops once she’s holding her door and turns back to you. “I’ll come over later yeah?”

“Sure, I don’t have any plans anyway.”

She nods rolling her eyes and gives you a flirty wave. “Bye.”

You wave back and God you’re so screwed. While the hours pass by you can’t help but anticipate her arrival but it never comes. It’s almost past midnight and she’d usually at least text you if she wasn’t gonna show but she hasn’t so you might be getting a little worried.

Carmilla (12:57PM): hey is everything okay?

Carmilla (12:59PM): please text me back to AT LEAST know ur alright.

Carmilla (1:03AM): Laura???

Laura (1:05AM): Sorry, this is Laura’s friend. Laura fell asleep but she’s okay.

Carmilla (1:05AM): which friend???

Laura (1:06AM): It’s Danny, I’m her co-worker. I’ll tell her to call you when she wakes up, K?

You slam your phones against your kitchen island and stand up to start pacing. Danny? As in her fucking EX Danny? Wasn’t she across the ocean? Why would she be with Laura? More importantly what’s she doing with Laura in the middle of the night when she’s SLEEPING??

You head to bed and throw Laura’s yellow pillow across the room when you notice it there.

-

Danny (10:14AM): Okay, I’m heading out to deliver those reports.

Laura (10:14AM): Nice! Keep it up!

Danny (10:15AM): Remind me again why I’m doing this?

Laura (10:15AM): the internet’s down and the office is a disaster so mailing it personally is the most effective way and I’m buying you lunch wherever you want I swear.

Danny (10:16AM): mailing something and me literally knocking on someone’s door are total opposites, Hollis.

Danny (10:16AM): I’ll text you when I’m closer.

Laura (10:17AM): thanks!

You huff and try and stretch out your aching back. You fell asleep at the office after working non stop with Danny and all for what? For the internet to make everything so darn complicated!

You look through your phone and notice you’d texted Carmilla last night, which you don’t remember at all so you open the messages and your eyes slowly widen.

Oops.

Danny tried to tell you something about your phone this morning but you were all over the place, half asleep and dealing with everyone’s panicking calls because of the downed internet.

You decide to just call Carmilla.

“Hey!” you beam when she answers.

“…yeah, hey.”

“Listen, Carm I’m so sorry! I totally forgot about last night. I was working and I fell asleep and I owe you one, big time.”

“You know, if you had other plans you could have just said so.” She says accusingly and you back pedal confused.

“Wait… what’s that supposed to mean?” you say accusingly back.

Danny texts you back and you quickly try and reply to continue your conversation.

 

Danny (10:22AM): alright I’m here! But the pin ends in the middle of the street. Where do I have to go??

Laura (10:22AM): blue building. Third floor. 3A.

 

“Isn’t it obvious? Your giant knight in tiny armor texted me.”

“Yeah? So?? She was doing something nice for me. What’s wrong with that?”

Danny (10:23AM): ok…there are 3 differed shades of blue buildings. Which is it??

Laura (10:23AM): corner. near green fence.

 

“You just don’t get it do you?” she scoffs. “I’ve got other things to take care of right now okay, Laura. So don’t expect my call.”

“What??” you’re truly dumbfounded, just…just really really confused with what the hell is going on. “What is your _deal_?? Seriously??”

You hear another text come in but try and ignore it.

“My deal is that I was waiting for you worried since you said you’d come. That’s what people who make plans do, Laura. Not spend the night with someone else doing god knows what without letting someone know.”

“Wh- Are you _serious_ right now?”

“I can’t believe you keep asking me stupid questions. Your wasting my time, I have to get back to work.”

You hear another text come in and look at your phone with a groan.

“No! You’re not just gonna hang up on me like that! Listen I don’t know why you’re so mad about this or what it is your even thinking I did last night but you’re wrong. I was here all night doing important stuff.”

“Yeah I’m sure of that.”

“Wh-” you groan again. “What are you trying to say here, Carmilla?!”

Danny (10:24AM): ok I found the building but the elevator isn’t working. I can’t find any stairs anywhere.

Danny (10:25AM): no wait! I think I found them. Now to find the door. Are you sure it’s 3A?

Laura (10:28AM): YES.

Danny (10:28AM): K, found it! Mission complete.

“For the love of all that is old and holy, who keeps sending you damn messages. Jesus.”

“It’s Danny, she’s-”

“of course it’s her.”

“Can you just—like-not for a quick sec!” You take a second to breath in and Carmilla seems to have actually listened to you. “She’s running an errand for me downtown. The internet’s down at the office.” You hear her scoff in disbelief and feel angrier. You’re being freaking honest! “Carm what the hell is wrong with you? Are you…Are you _jealous_?”

“Wh-” you hear her huff. “Why on Earth would I be jealous??”

“I don’t know.” You shake your head and wiggle your hand around. “I really don’t.”

“I’m pretty sure we had established that I wasn’t the kind of girl to care about whatever you chose to do or not with somebody.”

“What?” yeah you’re angry now. This is all baffling you honestly. “I’m not that kind of girl!”

“I’m not assuming you are!”

You ball up your fists. “Yeah okay you know what, Carm? Think whatever you want. Don’t call me until you’re being less of an ass.” You actually hang up on her, the frustration overwhelming you because she should know you better by now. She should know that you weren’t kidding when you told her you don’t like being with a lot of people at once. Especially now that-

You cut your train of thought and sigh defeated.

“You dumb, raging bad person!” you say to yourself and pick up your phone again angrily.

Laura (10:40AM): Thanks danny.

Danny (10:40AM): ur not getting away with it that easy. Sushi tonight?

Laura (10:40AM): I did promise :)

Danny (10:41AM): wanna bring your dad along? We can go to Origami! They got that special tonight he likes.

Laura (10:41AM): hahaha I’m sure he’d love that.

-

You haven’t gotten the courage to call Laura back. You were an asshole and with no real valid reasons at that. You think this big of a mess up deserves more than just a phone call, mostly because you’re scared she won’t actually pick up. So you decide to bring Laura some hot cocoa during the night. You’re pretty sure she’s got to be at the office still so you head on over with her favorite hot cocoa and chocolate cake from Aunt Annie’s Bakery. Betty’s still at the front desk and when she sees you stepping up to her she gives you a curious look.

“Hi…is Laura..by any chance still..uhm..” pathetic. You’re pathetic.

Betty just gestures towards the elevator giving eyeing you up and down and shaking her head with an amused grin.

“Thanks.” You start heading that way when she calls you back.

“Wait! Actually you should go to the office on the fourth floor. Last one to the left.”

You nod and take the elevator.

-

“You sure you don’t want a ride home, Hollis? We can share a cab.” Says Danny as she’s ready to leave.

You tiredly shake your head while reading a paper. “Nah, I’m just gonna finish up here and head out.”

“I can stay and help out-“

“Noooo.” You shoo her while slouching deeper into your seat. “You’ve literally gotten no sleep since you landed. Go rest. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Ok, if you insist. See ya later, Hollis.”

“Later, Danny.”

She leaves and you go back to barely reading this paper.

-

You head down the hall Betty said and cross paths with someone you didn’t really pay much mind to. You were more focused thinking about what you’re gonna say to Laura. You reach the office and inhale before knocking. You hear her sigh on the other side as you go to open the door.

“What, did you forget something D-” she stops mid sentence and you peek your head in through the door with a tight lipped smile. You sway your bag of goodies from the door and Laura sighs crossing her arms.

“Good to see you too, Sundance.” You step in and put the bag on her desk, sitting across from her. “I wasn’t sure you’d still be here but I was around and…” she looks at you tiredly, trying to maintain an upset face. “–wow, have you slept at all?” You notice the bags under her eyes and she tries to maintain her angry composure but ends up slouching back in her chair.

“Noo.” She whines.

“Cupcake, you should seriously catch a break.”

“I know, I know. It’s just this big deal and Vordenberg is gonna be here in a few days and we’re not ready yet and I told dad I’d handle it all and—God I’m a friggin’ idiot.” She slouches forward and rests her head in her arms on the desk. “And now you’re here, and I’m mad at you. But I miss you and you suck.”

“I’m sorry.”

She sighs but says nothing else. Her hand suddenly extending as if waiting for an offering. You chuckle and take out the hot cocoa, pressing it against her hand. Her head pops up confused at the sudden warmth and her eyes literally well up. She holds it and takes a blissful sip.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.” You take out the chocolate cake now and she audibly gasps. “But I brought peace offerings so…”

You watch as she visibly swallows.

“I hate you.”

“You want a bite?” she moans and whines trying to fight you.

“Yeees.” She takes the cake, and after one bite she relaxes back into her chair. “Thanks by the way. But you suck.”

You smile at her as she keeps eating and moaning after every few bites.

“I _am_ sorry. I shouldn’t have said some of those things. I don’t know why I did. I’m sorry.”

She finishes chewing and takes a sip of her cocoa while eyeing you.

“Fine. Apology accepted. But don’t talk to me like that ever again okay?”

You nod. “I’ll do my best.”

She glares at you and you laugh. “People get mad, Laura. I can’t always just turn that side off. I have my days.”

“Oh believe me I know.”

“Hey!”

She takes another bite of the cake, her eyes going from the cake back to you and she pushes the plate your way. “Peace cake?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t. You deserve to feel bad for more time.” She teases and you roll shake your head.

“Do you need me to keep apologizing or are we gonna put this behind us?”

She huffs and pushes the cake towards you again.

“What are you working on, anyway?”

-

Carmilla ends up keeping you company at the office for a few hours before dozing off for a bit on one of your desk chairs, and you think it’s the cutest you’ve ever seen her be.

And you wonder if maybe your heart is right. Maybe these feelings you have for her are much closer to being mutual that you originally thought.

You think you hear your dad walk into the office in the morning when you’re both asleep on the floor, your backs against the desk with papers all around you. Your dad’s familiar chuckle rang in your ears before you felt a blanket cover the two of you. You think he took the papers from the floor and left you sleeping.

When you wake up, it’s to the smell of fresh bagels on the desk. You wake Carmilla up to have breakfast with her. The two of you look like zombies and the pain on your back reminds you to not sleep on the floor ever again. Carmilla keeps trying to brush your messy hair down with her free hand while she eats and it’s endearing and gentle and you don’t know how much of that your confused heart can handle. She asks if you have to stay today too and you tell her you don’t and that you’re still really tired. She offers to give you a ride in her company van and you accept but only if she’s taking you to her place. You don’t really want to be in your house all by yourself during the day.

So she takes you to her apartment and pats your usual side of the bed and you love this. You love just spending time with her for no reason other than just to be together. When the two of you wake up, you go to her favorite diner again and Kirsch is working his shift so he brings the two of you a free milkshake to share. You could do this with her more often if she ever wanted you to You think, if this is what being with Carmilla would be like then everything would be fine.

Carmilla takes some of your fries and you smile. “I swear, if that beefcake doesn’t hurry up with my blood sausage I’m putting a leash on him and leaving him in an alley.”

“Don’t be mad at him, you’re already eating my fries. How hungry can you really be?”

“Starving. All nighters make me pick up and appetite.”

“But you slept like a total five hours.”

“Not in the order I wanted them to be.”

“Well you didn’t have to stay. You could’ve gone home and slept an extra hour like the lazy lesbian you are.” You tease and eat more of your fries and she squints her eyes at you.

“I wanted to stay, but more importantly-” she grabs another fry and boops your nose. “- _you_ wanted me to stay.”

“Only for a little while.” You smile and the two of you sit in comfortable silence. “Hey, Carm?”

“Mm?”

“Would you believe I have to do one of those stupid business dinners again?”

“With that pig who kept sexting you? How awful.” She says sarcastically and the two of you chuckle, memories of the night you met flowing back into your thoughts.

“Yeah, him and a whole army of old men ready to eat me alive.” You sigh and stuff your face with more fries.

“You’ll be fine. You’re tougher than you look.”

You smile. “You bet.”

“Oh I know from experience. You lifted me one time in bed to scoot me up higher. It was actually quite…hot.”

“Well _someone_ is impressed with me.” You tease and she doesn’t deny it.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much.”

You think about inviting her but she probably would hate it as much as you do. Plus, the last time you invited her to LaF’s thing she just complained probably having a mediocre time. You don’t want to make her go through something she wouldn’t enjoy. That and Danny’s going to be there this time. Sure she insists she wasn’t jealous but you don’t believe that. Neither of you have brought it up since it happened.

You glance at her while playing with the straw in your milkshake. You don’t want to straight up just ask her about it…what if you test the waters by bringing up Danny? Maybe it’s nothing and if you just keep talking about the dinner she’ll ask if she can join you.

“I don’t even remember some of those people’s names. That dinner’s gonna be a catastrophe.”

“It can’t be that bad. Your dad will be there with you right?”

“Yeah but-” you lick your lips and try to piece the right words together. “I’m the one who they’re going to grill on, my dad’s only part of the back up. That and Vordernberg doesn’t trust him.”

“Why doesn’t he trust him?”

“He says my dad’s hiding behind me. He’s a weird old man, constantly ruining everything we plan for!” you shake your head. “It’s like it’s his specialty.”

She chuckles and eats another fry. “All old people are hard to handle. It’s not their fault.”

“Well he’s a special kind of problematic old person.” You say taking another fry too. You watch as Carmilla chews and stares at Kirsch making her meal and you decide to start poking at the Danny thing. “Actually, if it wasn’t for Danny’s help, he probably wouldn’t have considered the overseas deal in the first place.”

You see her eyebrow twitch up but she doesn’t show any other sign of negativity so you press on.

“She’s coming to the dinner too by the way. She’s like my secret back up plan, just in case my dad fails to handle him.”

“Is that right?” she halfheartedly adds and starts poking the rest of your fries with the one between her fingers.

“Yeah. Honestly I don’t know what I would do without her there supporting me.” Carmilla only huffs and bites her now soggy fry not looking your way. “I don’t really know what I should even wear. I’m thinking I should pull out the big guns. All black or green dress. Used _only_ during special occasions.”

You keep watching her but she doesn’t react and really; how hard is it to ask you if you want her to go? You slouch into your seat giving up and Kirsch brings her meal over effectively ending the conversation anyway.

“Finally.”

“Hey, it’s hard to handle that thing. You know blood makes me queasy sometimes.”

“And yet, it’s delicious flavor never ceases to amaze me.” She starts digging in and maybe she really doesn’t care about you and Danny and everything. Maybe you’re the one trying to see things that aren’t there.

-

Laura (6:17PM): -download image-

Laura (6:17PM): too much?

You grab your phone while laying in bed and download Laura’s picture. She’s been busy handling everything for tonight’s dinner. She’s kept mentioning it in every conversation you have. How she wishes she didn’t have to go, how her and Danny have been together all day making sure they have everything. How they went shopping together with her dad to find something new to wear for everyone. Did their hair together, ate together somewhere that apparently they used to go to in college. Hell, she even sent you a picture of herself looking excitedly at her slice of pie. Which you can only imagine Danny took since both of Laura’s hands were in the shot. It’s all driving you insane already!

When the picture finally loads its Laura in a tight black dress that almost reaches her knees, her back revealed by the low cut. She’s barefoot, wearing simple make up, her hair in waves you’ve only seen during LaFontaine’s award ceremony. It’s been so long since she last sent you a mirror selfie resembling this one. You’re left gawking at the picture until you receive another message while still staring.

Laura(6:20PM): Carm????

Laura (6:20PM): it is, isn’t it? I should’ve gone with the navy blue

Carmilla (6:22PM): no it’s fine.

Carmilla (6:22PM): you look beautiful

Laura (6:23PM): thanks :B

Laura (6:23PM): Dad even bought me a new coat! Only for tonight though, I’m not ready to let that old thing go just yet.

Carmilla (6:23PM): I think you look good in almost everything

Laura (6:24PM): almost??

Carmilla (6:24PM): no one can rock a mullet. Not even you.

Laura (6:24PM): Kirsch had a mini mullet type thing going on during college. I VIVIDLY remember it.

Carmilla (6:24PM): and oh how awful it was.

Laura (6:25PM): I thought it was cute. It sort of suited him

Carmilla (6:25PM): no.

You went back to her picture and you admit, you couldn’t help but admire her in it. She really is something else. She always has been, since the night you met her. Who would have expected that tiny ball of excitement, a girl who rambles about anything till her hearts content and drinks way too much cocoa for her own good would still be around. She’s the first person to make her way into your life so suddenly and so easily. Something you’ve made sure to be difficult after what you went through in your own high school and college years. You’ve never been one to enjoy being around too many people at once, Kirsch and Will having been the only exceptions for awhile now. But she’s somehow done it. This tightly wound, naïve town girl has grown on you and taken up a space in your life you hadn’t even know was vacant. After so long you’ve gotten to know someone genuinely. No strings or benefits other than some company during lonely nights. And somehow this girl still managed to take so much of your time and thoughts. 

Laura Hollis got to you.

You actually wish right now that she had invited you to her stupid dinner thing, just so you could see her in person. Just so you could be there by her side supporting her instead of damn Danny Lawrence. But she didn’t. And you wouldn’t have been much help to her anyway other than keeping a philosophical conversation with all those old men who probably dream of being considered wise.

Danny Lawrence is what Laura needs tonight. Danny Lawrence is what she wanted by her side, not you.

You toss your phone away thinking you’ve been getting way to deep into Laura’s personal and work life to begin with. That’s not what you do with girls. It’s never been what you do at all, especially not text about what to wear or what to order for a meal with coworkers. How is that in any way involved with what you are to Laura? How is that part of what Laura was supposed to be to _you_?

You sit up on your bed, your arms crossed over your chest as you grumpily talk some sense to yourself and the yellow color of Laura’s pillow beside you caught your eye. You angrily huff and grab it intending to put it away somewhere and you see the small silver necklace she had given you atop your drawer. Your chest feels strange and you brush your hair back feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. You end up taking your phone and the pillow with you to your couch but when you see Laura’s picture still on the screen you slam your phone against the couch, covering it with her pillow and laying down on top of it to try and ignore it.

You don’t need to think about Laura and her stupid dinner with her stupid tall red headed fan girl.

You try watching a movie on your laptop to keep your mind away from unnecessary thoughts, the sound of a new message being received under her pillow luring you back in.

After a few minutes of you forcefully not paying attention to your phone hidden away you give in.

Laura (7:07PM): -download image-

You stare at the button, debating whether or not pressing it to see what she sent you. You click on it and watch as it loads, an image of her waiting to be seated with an adorable pout. You think you can see Danny standing somewhere behind her talking to someone else. Laura’s dad probably.

Carmilla (7:15PM): why are you pouting?

She replies almost instantly.

Laura (7:15PM): I don’t want to have dinner with old men and friggin’ Alberto

Carmilla (7:15PM): then don’t. go away.

Laura (7:16PM): you know I can’t

Laura (7:16PM): I’d take anything in exchange for a decent meal where no numbers are being said and no pressure is being put on me.

Carmilla (7:17PM): well I guess you’re stuck.

Laura (7:17PM): ughhhhhh :’(

You take a deep breath and gently place the phone under her pillow again.

“What am I doing?”

Your phone chimes again and you look at the yellow pillow covering it and this is stupid. Everything about this is. You press your lips together tightly and get your phone again.

Laura (7:19PM): welp, they’re here. Adriano and Alberto look literally the same. I think he’s…giving me seduction eyes?

Laura (7:19PM): …why is my life like this? God I so got to find some interesting plant or something to look at all night. This is gonna be ROUGH.

You clench your teeth and tap your foot as you re-read her messages until finally, finally, you decide to just do something about this stupid dinner, with stupid clingy Danny and Laura friggin’ Hollis seem to be in need of dire entertainment.

You’re going.

Fuck it, you’re going.

You quickly go to look through your closet for that one special suit you reserve for special occasions. You never actually use it, but if there’s one thing your mother taught you it was to always have at least one nice outfit. You dial Kirsch as you drop the suit on your bed and dash to your bathroom on the other side of the room.

“He-”

“We’re going out.”

“O…kay? Where we going?”

“Just be ready in ten.”

“Woah- uh, but where-“

“Just get ready! I’ll explain later.”

“Fine fine I’ll go out. Be there in a bit.”

“-No don’t go yet!!” you quickly interject as you try and undress yourself to shower. “Wear something nice.”

“Why?”

“Just do as I say.”

“Well like how nice is nice?”

“Nice!” you yell out. “-Fancy _, attractively clean_ nice, now hurry the fuck up.” You hang up and get into the shower. 

-

“Really, the numbers are just great! Imagine how they could be if we didn’t include the employee delivery plan. At least fifteen percent would go up!”

You play with your food as Vordenberg and your dad talk, Mel giving you a tremendously threatening side eye.

“Yes, but like my lovely daughter pointed out, it just wouldn’t go well with our company policy. Sometimes a small sacrifice can mean more to the many than just the few.”

You nod to yourself and take another bite of your alfredo pasta. The dinner seems to be going well, you and your dad already went through all the numbers and plans with them so now they’re just repeating themselves trying to get your dad to turn on his employee plan. He’s as stubborn as you though so that’s not happening anytime tonight no matter how Vordenberg tries to put it. You look back under the table at your phone on your lap and frown at the lack of new messages.

You for sure thought Carmilla would at least try and tease you with pictures like she had all those months ago in this very restaurant.

You sigh and let go of your fork not really having much of an appetite.

You had hoped and thought that maybe you and Carmilla’s relationship really _had_ changed. But maybe that’s just what you wanted it to be and not what it actually is.

And you have _no idea_ anymore what that should be.

-

 Kirsch looks around like a lost puppy not understanding anything that’s going on. Thankfully he knows not to ask questions when you ask something of him, he trusts your reasons. When you walk in there’s already some people waiting to be seated, a sign near the entrance saying reservations are recommended prior to arrival and you scowl. Kirsch watches you still confused and notices something ahead of you.

“Hey isn’t that that party girl?”

“What party girl? No never mind, I don’t have time for this right now Kirsch, I’m thinking.”

“I know it’s her! The blonde one you used to bone.”

“What??”

He points to the girl working the stand near the entrance. “That one. Don’t you remember—Pff who am I kidding of course you don’t remember.”

You watch closely as the girl talks to people and moves, her uninterested look familiar to you.

“Holy crap.” You cross arms as you watch impressed. “That’s Elsie.”

“Elsie? Wait you actually remember? Wow, Carmilla you’re on a roll lately. First Laura now her. It’s like you actually listen now.” He laughs and you shove your elbow to his side. “Okay I’ll be quiet.”

You look around at all the people waiting again and try to muster up a plan. “I’m gonna regret this.” You walk up to her by the desk with your best sultry and nonchalant look. “…Hey.”

She looks up, her eyes slightly widening in surprise. “Hey. Sup?”

“Been a while…Elsie.”

She gets a bit nervous and you thank your whole ordeal with her and Laura for reminding you of her name. “I knew you wouldn’t call. Whatever right?” she shrugs and you remember why you liked her back then. She doesn’t give a shit about anything.

“I actually did.” You admit with an embarrassed grin. “Wrong number though.” She perks up a bit at that and you try to get away from the past that connects the two of you. “That’s beside the point, I’d actually like to ask a favor of you.”

“No reservation, no entry.” She shrugs as if anticipating your request and you feel yourself sag a little.

“Please, Elsie. I wouldn’t be bothering you if it wasn’t important.”

“I don’t play by the rules, you _know_ that. Too cool for orders and boring stuff. But there’s a family of four that’s been waiting in line forever. Dick move, Carmilla.”

“It’s just me and Kirsch, we don’t need a good seat just get me in.”

“You on a date?” she asks surprised and you snort so loud the people sitting to the side look at you. “Yeah thought so. That’d be a weird combo.” She laughs to herself and looks down at the list and table charts. “You’re the Hawthorns and you better leave me a note and tip.”

You try and hold your smile from widening. “Thank you, you can count on it.” You gesture for Kirsch to follow you and head inside, an older woman taking your name and guiding you to your table. You barely follow while you look around trying to spot the tiny brunette that’s gotten you into this mess. You don’t see her anywhere.

You sit grumpily in your small booth by the side and don’t even take a look at the menu you’re given. Kirsch on the other hand speaks to the waitress as kindly as a frat boy could. You take out your phone but resist the urge to unlock the screen and text her.

Meanwhile Kirsch is craning his neck to look at something. “Bro! Guess who’s here! Hey, and that tall hottie from college is here t…oo…” he spots Laura before you do and by the shit eating grin he gives you all of a sudden, you know you aren’t gonna hear the end of this. “It all makes sense now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You look away from where he spotted Laura and cover your face with the menu.

“I was SO right. You’re totally into her.” you glare at him and he can’t believe it. He seems to take the murderous look you’re giving him as a warning and stops talking. He clears his throat and picks up the menu again. “Man, what a coincidence that we’re here and she’s here and we totally had no idea about it.”

“Quit your yapping and order your damn food already.”

“Sure…” he side eyes Laura’s table trying to act normal. “So like…I wonder why they’re here though. I mean this place seems fancy for casual dinner.” You glare at him again and he raises his shoulders like a shunned puppy. “Other than us bro’s totally eating her all casual together I mean.” He squints trying to make sense of the rest of the people. “Why are there so much old people? Is it like a charity dinner for a home or something?”

“It’s for work.” You finally interject and finally get him to stop looking.

“Ooooh. That’s cool.” The waitress comes and takes both your orders but Kirsch stops her from leaving. “Hey m’am, do you know how long they’ve been here for?” he literally points towards Laura’s table and you cover your face wanting to just disappear.

“About an hour. Seems to be important. James, their waiter said they’re already going for dessert. Do you know them?”

“Yeah, those girls went to the same college as me. We’re kinda friends.” He smiles at the waitress and she chuckles.

“Well between you and me, James said the shorter young lady is very kind and beautiful.”

“She is! Carm here thinks so too.” He gestures to you and you bite your tongue and clench your fist, giving the woman a tight smile.

“Oh you know her too? Shall I send something over for her?”

“No!” you shrink realizing that was louder than intended. “No, we’re fine. No need to bother her.”

She nods. “Ah well, you let me know if you two need anything okay?” Kirsch smiles and nods happily and you glare at him again once she’s gone.

“I’m going to break your legs.”

“Come on! I was just asking around. The waitress here is really nice!” You kick him under the table and he winces in pain but tries not to yelp. “Shutting up now.”

The two of you side eye her table but don’t dare look. Kirsch too afraid of what you’d do to him and you…well…you don’t really know why you don’t want to look. The salad you both ordered as an appetizer arrives and you’re stuffing your face, your fork stabbing at the lettuce when you finally glance to her table and see Danny leaning in to talk to Laura. Kirsch seems to be ignoring his, his eyes on her table as well but you pay no mind to him. When Laura finally looks in your direction at a waitress picking up some plates, Kirsch takes the opportunity to wave at her frantically. Laura gives him a confused look at first but then recognition appears on her face. You finally notice Kirsch still waving and kick him under the table again making noise.

“What are you doing?!?” you whisper yell through gritted teeth.

“Nothing.” He whisper yells back. You take a chance to glance back to her table and see that Laura’s still looking your way, her eyes meeting yours. Your eyes go wide and you immediately tense up, hiding your face as best as you can without being to obvious.

 Your phone vibrates atop the table and you glare at Kirsch who just sits there with his stupid green eating breadsticks.

“What?” he shrugs innocently. “You should really try these breadsticks.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Like you _didn’t_ wanna come to this specific place at this specific time wearing _that_ specific suit for NOTHING.”

“Shut up.”

“You wanted to spy on Laura!” he points out leaning forward and you lean forward too.

“Shut the fuck up, you idiot. Can you _be_ any louder?”

“That’s one of those rhetorical questions you do right?”

You roll your eyes and your phone vibrates again but you try not to pick it up. If she sees you pick it up she’ll know you’ve seen the messages. You rub your hands on your thighs nervously as Kirsch watches your dilemma. He wipes his face with the large napkin and starts getting up.

“I’m gonna go say hi.” He walks away.

“Kirsch!” you whisper yell in panic.

“Be right baaaaack.” He sing songs with his grin as he strolls away.

“Kirsch get back here you- you imbecil! Kirsch! Fuck!” you keep whisper yelling but he’s half way there already and you’re doomed.

You lean back into your booth taking deep breaths. You watch nervously while trying not to flat out stare at him reaching the table and talking. Kirsch makes Laura laugh and he greets fucking Danny too and you’re so mad.

Danny?? Seriously?!

She better stay away from the idiot you have as a best friend.

You angrily look away, your leg bouncing under the table and you feel your jaw clenching and unclenching as you wait for Kirsch to come back but he’s taking forever and you’re dying here.

“ugh! Fuck it. Fine.” You throw your napkin on the table and stand. As you get closer you swallow and subtly fix up your suit and hair. Laura hasn’t seen you coming, her attention on Kirsch while he says something to Danny and her. Mr. Hollis on the other hand sees you coming up behind him and actually smiles at you. You stand behind Kirsch and clear your throat. He stops talking and looks behind him with a huge grin, taking a step to the side so you’re in view. Laura was still giggling but she flat out stops when she looks at you. She goes quiet but you feel as if the whole room went silent right then and there. All you can hear are the forks hitting ceramic plates on the other side of the table. All you can see is Laura gazing at you above her with her mouth slightly open.

“Hi, cutie.” You finally manage to speak and Danny straightens up to look at you. It felt more like a slight glare but then again you’re just a stranger calling her ex a cutie.

Ha, little does she know. Little does Danny fucking Lawrence know.

“Hey…” Laura finally says and you smile at the familiar sound of her voice finally making it’s way to your ears. “You’re here.” She says and the question behind it is clear to only you.

“Yeah.” You simply reply and the small adorable nod she does makes the corner of your lips threaten to make a smile. “Guess I just wanted to go somewhere nice tonight.”

“Huh of course.” She nods again blinking at you, her brow slightly lowering while she thinks. You stare at her lips when it seems like she’s about to say something else.

“So who’s this?” Danny says on the other side of you and you try to restrain yourself from visibly rolling your eyes.

Laura snaps out of her daze. “Oh! She’s my uh…She’s...”

“Carmilla! How nice to see you again!” you hear Mr. Hollis say beside Laura as she puts his napkin aside and standing to greet you. Beside the fact that he remembered your name again he grabs your arms and shakes you lightly with a friendly smile and a warm grip. “Looking good by the way. Love the suit!”

“Thanks, Jack.” You mentally high five yourself showing off to Danny how you and him are on a first name basis.

“Laura aren’t you going to introduce your friends?” he says letting you go and gesturing towards her and Danny.

Laura almost jumps up. “Oh- right! Um…Danny this is Carmilla, Carmilla this is Danny. We work together.”

You look at Danny with a tight grin and neither of you extend a hand. Danny squints at you as if trying to figure you out. “Laura and I have actually known each other for years now.”

Laura doesn’t know what’s going on or how to handle it since she’s to dumbfounded by everything that’s happening so she just quickly nods in agreement with Danny. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Laura not talk. Her eyes keep looking over at you though as she gawks over how you look.

“That so..huh.” you turn away from Danny and look back to Mr. Hollis. “So how’s your night going, Jack? Nice I hope.”

“Yes yes! Nothing like good food and company to celebrate a sealed deal.”

“-So Jack! How does Laura know this girl?” suddenly says Danny and you feel Laura tense up beside you. She’s still speechless and Kirsch clearly notices the tension between the three of you. Especially after she would go and ask Laura’s dad instead of Laura herself.

Mr. Hollis looks up in thought. “Come to think of it I don’t quite know the story.” He looks at Laura. “How _did_ you meet?”

Laura finally reacts, holding her breath once she’s put on the spot.

“Aaaand on that note. I should leave you guys to your dinner. Seems important.” You smirk at Laura and she gives you a look as if pleading for your help. “Enjoy your meal, Jack.” You glance at Danny and then back at Laura. “Nice seeing you, Cupcake.” 

-

Your hand reaches out on instinct for Carmilla when she turns away leaving you with such a bomb on your lap from your dad.

“Well, Laura? How was it?”

You feel the tension go through you when you swallow all flustered and twitchy.

“It’s actually a funny story…kind of.”

“How so?”

“Well- you see- Carm and I-“ you start messing with your hair tucking it behind your ear as you try and hide how beat red you are. “Coincidentally we uh, texted each other thinking we were other people.”

Your dad gives you a confused look. “I don’t follow…”

“Well…Carm…accidentally texted me thinking I was someone else and I thought she was someone else too but we just…kept talking and became um…acquaintances.”

“Huh. And how long ago was this?” your dad asked.

“Yeah did she just-“

“A long time ago okay!” you suddenly say loudly and freeze afterwards. “Anyway so where’s our dessert? It’s been forever right?” you try and change the subject but your dad seems to want to go on.

“You know, that frauline reminded me of my great great grandfather’s secret love affair-“ started Vordenberg and you’re actually thankful because it takes your dad’s attention away from you.

You turn to Danny and glare at her.

“What?” she asks trying to seem innocent but you know she’s smarter than that.

“Why would you do that?! So not cool, Danny.” You whisper yell.

“I was curious! Ever since she came by you started spacing out.” Your glare intensifies. “ How was I supposed to know I shouldn’t have asked your dad?”

“Why would anyone ask anyone’s dad anything! And I was NOT spacing out!”

She scoffs. “Yeah. Sure you weren’t.”

You scrunch up your fingers frustrated. “Urghh! Don’t—do that!” you whisper yell a bit too loudly and Danny extends her hand trying to calm you down.

“Chill, Hollis! Remember where we are.”

“Fff….fine!” you exhale harshly and fix the napkin on your lap rougher than would be still be in etiquette. You glance to the side and watch as Kirsch and Carmilla peacefully receive their meals with smiles and enjoyment and she isn’t even trying to hide the fact that she’s watching you right back. Kirsch is just watching Carmilla with a mouth full of food and a big goofy smile. You exhale through your nostrils determined and—oh she’s gonna get it good. You pull out your phone and start rapidly texting.

You see Laura looking down at her phone and suddenly your phone vibrates. And again. And again. You snicker as you go to finally read her messages.

Laura (8:02PM): this night is so boring..

Laura (8:04PM): u know, ur awfully quiet

Laura (8:16PM): HOW COULD U JUST DO THAT

Laura (8:16PM): HOW COULD U LEAVE ME THERE WITH THAT QUESTION IN THE AIR

Laura (8:16PM): WHAT KIND OF EVIL SEDUCTRESS OF THE NIGHT ARE YOU?!?!!?

Laura (8:16PM): NOW THEY WONT STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. EVEN VORDENBERG IS CURIOUS BECAUSE HE SAYS U LOOK LIKE A GIRL HIS GRANDAD DATED OR SOMETHING IDFK HRIJFDNKJMIF

Laura (8:17PM): I can’t believe you

Laura (8:17PM): you just show up cleaned up and gorgeous and just leave me here to suffer.

Laura (8:17PM): u know, if you wanted to come along you could’ve just asked. U could have been my date or something.

Laura (8:18PM): I hate you. I see you reading your texts. TEXT ME BACK DAMN YOU.

Carmilla (8:19PM): Idk what you’re taking about cutie.

Laura (8:19PM): RUHEIFJOHFHNCFD

Carmilla (8:19PM): hey, I just came her to give you something to look at. you’re the one who kept texting me about how bored you were.

Laura (8:20PM): HJNDKFHBJHAH THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I WAS TIRED OF HAVING TO LOOK AT STUPID ALBERTO!!

You look up at her to watch her as she frantically texts but she pauses and looks back at you for a long time, her glare slowly turning soft. You watch as she sighs deeply before going back to her phone.

Laura (8:21PM): u look really amazing.

You look up to Laura and find her giving you the softest look, a small genuine grin on her lips as she watches you watch her. And you can’t help but smile back, a small blush heating your pale cheeks. Laura’s smile widens and she quickly goes back to her phone so you look at yours expectantly.

Laura (8:20PM): where did u even GET that suit? It looks so good on you. Even my DAD was impressed!

You audibly laugh and Kirsch looks between the two of you like a curious puppy. You look back up at Laura and she’s smiling at you again but much more joyful.

God you love how good her smile makes you feel. You toss your napkin aside and start getting out of the booth. “I’m going to the restroom.” You tell Kirsch offhandedly. 

-

You excuse yourself from the table when you notice Carmilla get up and leave to the back.

“Want me to-” You give Danny an intense look that could kill before she even finishes offering you her company. She shuts her mouth. “Never mind.”

You walk past your dad as he watches you leave the table. He gives you a curious look and glances behind him at the table Kirsch is now alone in. Kirsch smiles and waves happily and your dad waves back, turning back to his dessert.

You push the door into the bathroom already ranting. “Really?? _Oh hey cutie let me just flirt in front of your dad and coworkers to show how attractive and shameless I am,_ I can’t believe you, you know that?” you hadn’t looked around the bathroom to check for people so when you look up you pause your rambling. A woman stepping out of the bathroom as soon as the door closes behind you. Carmilla is washing her hands with a giant smirk at first, but once she turned around and saw you face to face standing there in your tight black dress she spaced out.

You can’t really say you paused for such a long time only because of the woman that was here, because honestly you were dazed as soon as she turned to face you too.

You try and get back to your bickering while clearly being unable to speak in clear proper words. “Your really just such a…bad…person. Really bad…just…terrible and and bad and…”

She barely nods as she takes a step closer and you mirror her movement. “Yeah, well…I think you’re just…so…insufferable and…loud and really… _really_..” she sighs that last one out. “hypocritical and…prissy and…”

“Is _that_ what you really think?” you ask accusingly but still take a step closer and so does she.

“Think of what?”

“Of me you big…idiot.” She stands before you, her hands on her hips as you raise your chin defiantly.

“I mean…maybe…or something like that, I don’t know!” she raises her chin a bit too and you give her a pointed look.

“ _Oh really?”_ you switch your weight to one hip and place your hands on your hips like Carmilla’s. Her eyes following the gesture and then seemingly getting lost on their way back to your face. She takes her time to speak, her teeth gently digging into her own lip as her eyes keep travelling up your body till she reaches your lips.

“No… _only occasionally_.” She says the last bit as if admitting but not trying to offend.

“Well…you make me mad okay.” Your eyes glance down at her lips and you visibly swallow. “Occasionally too I mean.” The two of you stand there for a long moment, the soft music playing on the bathroom speakers. You inhale deeply and quickly take a step back. “Anyway!” you walk backwards, your hands searching behind you for the door you came through. “Warn a girl next time you decide to crash a work dinner looking like that! It’s common curtesy or what have you!”

Carmilla closes her eyes and sighs, her shoulders visibly relaxing from all the sexual tension that was just there which wow okay you think your whole body is on fire and you didn’t even touch. “So you’re complaining then?” she asks and you finally find the door handle.

You shake your head at yourself. “Carm!” you exclaim and she opens her eyes to attentively look at you. “When you get home..” you pause, your eyes unabashedly scanning up Carm’s body because fuck do you want to just strip every piece of that amazing outfit off of her. Carmilla’s eyebrow quirks at the sight of you watching her so intently and you push the door slightly open. “ _Don’t change_.” You go to push the rest of the door open and leave but Carmilla’s hand dashes forward grabbing you and pulling you towards her. She doesn’t say anything other than give you this intense and intimate look that’s making your whole chest rise and fall harder than normally necessary. “Carm you-“

“You’re amazing.” She steps even closer, her stomach lightly pressing against yours. Her free hand brushes some of the hair that’s loosely covering a side of your face and then cupping your cheek. Her thumb grazing your more than eager lips. And you’re lost. You’re so lost in her presence and in the moment. The only other thing you can feel is how hard your heart is beating in your eardrums. Carmilla leans in and you kiss and it’s small and simple but she quickly deepens it after a few seconds of gentle bliss as if starving for what your lips have to offer. You feel that maybe she’s as lost in you as you are in her.

That is until a lady walks into the bathroom and the two of you jump apart startled. You can still feel the pressure of her lips on yours so you lick them as if out of habit.

“You wanna get out of here? You know, when you’re done. With everything.”

And you feel like you can only nod in response still a bit dazed with everything that her lips make you feel.

“Y-yeah I’ll just uh, I’ll text you- or something.” And she eagerly nods back. The two of you step towards the door at the same time almost bumping into each other again and you think the small contact would kill you right then and there. “Sorry you-“

“No no, you go ahead.”

“Okay yeah sure.”

You both quickly say and step out as if fleeing the scene.  And you can’t even pay any mind to the world around you once you sit down again.

You really want to be with her right now.

-

 You get back to your table and don’t even look at Kirsch. He starts talking to you but you’re dazed and looking at blank space. You interrupt him. “Kirsch, can I borrow your van?”

He looks at you surprised. “Uh, yeah sure, when do you-“

“Tonight.”

He opens and closes his mouth too confused to speak properly. “Yeah I…guess I’ll get a ride.”

“Thanks.” You barely say back as you watch Laura blink at her dad when he talks to her. She laughs and starts talking lively back and to you she’s literally glowing.

You don’t go for dessert and just pay the check when it comes. Kirsch says his goodbye and gives you a thumbs up that you brush off but can’t help but smile. You’re waiting outside of the restaurant by the steps, the valet parking guy keeps staring at you wondering why your still sticking around. And you actually feel anxious and cold out here waiting for the time to tick by, rubbing your hands together to stay warm as you walk from side to side. You distantly hear Laura’s contagiously adorable laughter and stop on the spot to look. She steps out with a crowd and while everyone’s saying their goodbyes she’s looking around trying to find you. You smile to yourself as you watch her struggle to find you, and you exhale suddenly feeling less cold. Your warm breath coming into view when her eyes meet yours. Laura’s face brightens and you both stand there just looking at each other until someone taps Laura’s shoulder and she turns to face them. She shakes their hand and then goes to Danny and her dad explaining she had to go. She speed walks towards you, her smile widening when she’s finally about to reach you.

“Hey.” She breathes out and you laugh.

“Hey.” You look at her wearing her new coat and hold her out as if to examine. “Is this the one you got earlier?”

“Yeah, do you like it?”

“I think it suits you.”

 She smiles, her cheeks turning slightly pink. “Thanks.” She tucks her coat closer to herself and takes a deep breath. “So…where do you wanna go?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug and she watches you, her sweet smile coming back as she rocks herself a bit.

“I have one idea I think you’d like.”

“Oh yeah, and which is that?” you smirk stepping closer and her own smile widens as she looks down at your lips. She takes your hand and intertwines your fingers and you don’t care that they’re cold right now because to you it feels anything but. The unspoken plan clear between the two of you.You tug her along as you walk back to where Kirsch had parked his van and open the door for her. As you drive back home your hand and hers playing together exchanging caresses and occasional tight grips, you think that this is the nicest thing you’ve felt in ages. Whenever you have to stop at a red light you take advantage of the few seconds to be near her and rub you face into her neck to leave slow kisses, sometimes you kiss her cheek or her ear which makes her flinch being ticklish. The only thing stopping you was her warning you whenever the light would turn green.

You park Kirsch’s van somewhere down your street, Laura’s already out of the vehicle before you can even try to go around and open the door for her, and the two of you stare at each other knowing the slow desperation to get to your apartment.

You take her hand and rush home, the urgency to open the first door downstairs makes you groan. Laura giggles next to you and gestures to the intercom box reminding you of the trick you taught her months ago. You use it to open the door and guide her up the stairs the two of you a giddy giggling mess as you keep looking to each other. You reach your place and step into the darkness within it, the street lights by the window the only thing shinning through and you turn to Laura, her eyes already intense with want and God you feel the same way.

“So..” you start. “You were saying something about when we got here.” You tug your still entwined hands closer to you and she gives you an eager smile.

“I told you not to change.” Her eyes travelled down, her hands leaving yours to slightly tug at your collar.

“Why’s that?” you tease clearly knowing the answer and she chuckles.

“Because, maybe I wanted to undress you myself..” her fingers brush over your shoulders and back down to unbutton your blazer.

“Oh I like the sound of that.” One of your hands goes into her hair, taking a handful to gently tug her closer and her lips are already meeting yours in between. Her hands moving over your body softly to start unbuttoning your shirt. The kiss starts slow and soft, your mind entranced by the feeling of her lips against yours. You pause for a moment, your forehead against hers and the two of you stare into each others eyes. You can’t take it anymore, you’ve wanted her for so long, _truly_ wanted this girl standing right before you. The anticipation is both killing you and filling you with excitement. You start kissing her more forcefully and hard and she bounces right back quickly already seeming to know how to sync with you. The kiss turns more desperate, your hands searching all of Laura’s body as hers keep tugging you closer to her. Lost in the desperation you slam each other against the door and other surfaces.

The more you get from her the more you want, and you just can’t seem to get enough. 

-

You don’t pay attention to the door Carmilla slammed you against, her hands eagerly feeling your body, tugging at the dress eagerly and you don’t think you’ve ever felt this wanted. The way she keeps harshly pulling you closer whenever you kiss her more deeply, the small desperate pants that escape her mouth whenever your lips separate. You shove her forward and slam her against the fridge, undressing her as quickly as you can and why are there so many damn buttons?! She slips out of her blazer to help you and pushes herself off of the fridge when her shirt finally comes open. She lunges forward kissing you frantically and roughly to the point that you’re both stumbling through the apartment till one of you trips and ends up falling onto the hardwood floor. None of that stops you though. Carmilla getting on top of you to keep making out, her hands sliding your dress down from your shoulders, tugging it down desperately. You lift your hips and help her by tugging the rest down from your hips, Carmilla tossing her shirt aside somewhere and how you’ve missed the sight of her shirtless body. She leans back down to keep kissing you, your hands tearing at her bra strap to get rid of it once and for all. She starts kissing your shoulder as your hands make their way down to her pants to unbutton and get rid of as well and she slides out of them ungracefully. She hovers over you her eyes dark yet gleaming somehow, the two of you panting roughly as you watch one another. She leans back in much more slowly than the desperate way she had before and she kisses you. The way she gently sucks in your bottom lips makes you whimper under her. You can’t remember the last time you were this sensitive.

Her hand brushes up your bare stomach as she slowly grinds into you, making it’s way up to cup your face as she deepens the kiss and grinds again.

And yeah, you’re way more sensitive to her touch tonight that you thought.

She starts kissing away from your lips and yours almost try and follow them as she kisses down your cheek and neck. She grinds into you again as she sucks and bites down on your neck. You close your eyes and tilt your head back giving her more space, eager for her to do more to you. She stops kissing your neck, her lips brushing over your ear as she keeps grinding against you more slowly.

“Do you want me?” she asks in a soft voice you’ve never heard her use before and it’s as if she’s worried you don’t. But you’re really lost in thought as your mind only focusses on the feel of her body pressed to yours. You manage to quickly nod because you do want her, you’ve always wanted you.

“Do you want _me_?” you barely ask back teasingly but her reply takes you by surprise.

She breaths out, “You and no one else.” As she rests her forehead against the floor beside you, her hand going back down your body caressing one of your breasts over your bra. Your stupid bra that should be gone by now please. And you don’t think she was just trying to see eager and flirty. You think she might have actually meant it. “I’ve missed you.” She barely whispers beside you but you catch it clearly and open your eyes to turn your head and look at her. She meets you half way turning her head slightly too.

One of your hands brushes some of her hair out of the way, your fingers brushing over her bruised lips after. “I’m sorry about that.” You say knowing well you avoided her for awhile and then didn’t make as much time as you could have while working. She huffs out a small laugh and shakes her head a bit. “For the record-“ you start with a crooked smile, “I missed you too you know.” She chuckles but smiles at you genuinely and your smile grows, your eyes going back to her swollen lips. You pull her closer by the back of her head and kiss her sweetly, your free hand brushing down her bare chest and you gasp when you feel her slip her tongue into the kiss, your body already reacting to it. You flip her over and get on top of her, palming her breasts before going down to kiss them. Your tongue slipping out surprising her like she had surprised you and she moans quietly. You slide her underwear down as you leave sloppy kisses down her stomach and she’s already so wet that you go right into it. Your tongue moving through her wet folds causing her body to jerk up already and you suck on her clit once before going back up to her. She’s already panting from just that and you slip out of your own underwear while she’s lost in bliss.

You straddle one of her thighs and grind over it making yourself moan, Carmilla quickly reacts her fingers trying to push between you and her thigh as you grind on her. It’s probably super uncomfortable for her but you sure aren’t complaining at the feel of her fingers brushing up and down your wet folds. You place on of your hands on the floor to balance yourself better, your other hand going down to make circles on her swollen clit. The two of you are already sweating and the pleasure you feel is off the charts.

It’s been so fucking long since you let her touch you back. You’ve been to afraid of what it could mean or what it would make you feel. You didn’t think you’d be ready to accept it but you can’t ignore it anymore.

Carmilla’s been making you feel things for a while now and you don’t just mean physically, that’s only part of it.

You have feelings for her, you know that, but how intense they actually were? Well…you refused to see it out of fear.

Fear of what she’d do or say if you ever told her- no…when you told her. Because there’s no way you could keep doing this if you don’t. You’d just be hurting yourself hiding your true feelings for her and still being this way with her.

Your pulled out of your thoughts when she flips you over again, her hand now more comfortable between your legs as she slips a finger in and you moan surprised with the wave of pleasure that hits you this time. Your free hand grabs her ass to pull her closer to you, your fingers still working between her own legs and you use the pull to go deeper into her. You slip two fingers getting ahead of her and she moans, her arm loosing it’s balance as she doubles over you. She starts leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck as your fingers keep going in and out of her. You feel her harsh breaths against your skin every few seconds as she tries to keep working through her own pleasure to keep kissing your neck. She stops and presses her forehead against yours for a moment, and you shut your eyes at the closeness. Your warm breath mixing in with her own as you start moaning from the way her fingers start moving faster. And the way she’s making you feel right now threatens to make some words you’re not ready to say leave your lips.

The realization still hits you, right when she curls her fingers. Your heart beating aggressively in your chest from something other than what’s physically going on.

_You’re in love with Carmilla._

_-_

You’re on top of Laura, watching her as pleasure comes through her features. Her eyes are closed and you’re too afraid to make her open them because you don’t want to stop looking at her the way you are. Admiring her as the beautiful girl that’s finally with you again. When her features change into a knitted brow, Laura whimpering and panting harder, you know she’s close. Knowing it makes you feel desperate to get closer, your hips grinding down onto her hand eagerly and even with her eyes shut she understands, her thumb circling your clit as she keeps pumping into you. The way she moans when you pull your fingers out slowly and then back in makes a new wave come over you. She’s so wet that it’s easy to move your fingers through her the way you’ve known for so long that she likes. So you do, and she takes in a deep breath when her back starts to arch, the sudden movement makes her hand between your legs jerk and you shudder stumbling a bit from how aroused you are. You start moving faster in and out of her and you know she’s reached her limit, your own hips struggling to keep the grinding movement you had earlier as you follow her.

Your body goes limp, resting on top of her and your both panting happily. You lazily lay there until you use what little strength you have to look back at Laura. She’s smiling, her eyes heavy as if almost shut.

“What?” she says out of breath.

“Hm?”

“That face.” She adds and you’re not sure what to tell her. “You look like your lost in my eyes.” She chuckles and you feel your tongue grumpily brush over your teeth.

“I am in so such thing.” She laughs again shaking her head slightly and she looks at you quietly. You wish you knew what she was thinking.

She leans in after a few minutes, her lips brushing over yours as she whispered, “come back to me.” She gave you a few small and gentle kisses. When she pulls away thinking the kiss was over you lean in again, following her and deepening the kiss just a bit. Nothing rough, everything just feels tender and sweet.

You push away some of Laura’s sweaty hair afterwards. “I like your hair like this.”

“What, sweaty?”

“No.” you gently laugh and brush it again. “Waves. It looks nice.”

She smiles as you continue brushing your fingers through her hair. “Thanks.” She blinks a few times as if realizing something and looking away. “It wont last long after this though.”

“I’m fine with that.” She looks back at you and you smile at each other. 

-

Carmilla’s eyes won’t leave you as if she doesn’t want to look away from your face. Her fingers keep brushing through your hair ever so gently. You just let her keep doing it and shut your eyes, quietly allowing yourself to enjoy the soft gesture. After a few more strokes she stops and pushes herself off of you. You immediately open your eyes searching for her, wanting to be close to her again. Carmilla smiles and sits up.

“Come on, the floor isn’t as comfortable as my bed.”

You whine. “I just want to lay here for a little bit.”

“We can lay in bed instead.” You pout and she rolls her eyes with a snort. “Come on sweetheart.” She offers you a hand and you take it, both getting up. You were sure she would let go once you were standing, instead Carmilla interlocks your fingers and leads the way to her room with a happy grin. You couldn’t help but mirror it.

Yeah, you totally love her.

You were about to go around the bed to your usual side when Carmilla tugged at your hand, not letting go. “No.” You give her a puzzled look and she lays in bed pulling you with her to rest on top of her. You snuggle you head on the crook of her neck, your hand caressing Carmilla’s stomach. Her own hand brushing over yours gently playing with it.

You smile into her neck and start leaving small slow kisses on it, nipping at it every now and then. Her hand goes still on top of yours after a while so you pull back to look at it and then back at Carmilla. Her eyes are closed peacefully and you smile to yourself. She opens her eyes searching for you to find you smiling down at her.

“Why’d you stop?”  she whines and your smile widen. “What?” you just shake your head and she bunches up her face at you teasingly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were the only one getting pampered here.” You say sarcastically and she laughs.

“It felt nice.” She admits, her hand brushing up your side.

“I’m sure it did.” You say, your knuckles caressing her cheek lazily.

“Laura.” You look at her as if asking her to go on. “I missed having you in my bed with me.” And you think it didn’t sound sexual. It sounded…sweet.

“I missed _being_ in your bed.”

“Oh so that’s what you liked about me. I should have know. How blind I’ve been.” She says playfully and you giggle.

Instead of replying you keep staring at her lovingly, Carmilla’s fingers caressing circles into your lower back as she stares back.

“Aren’t you going to keep kissing me?” She pleads softly and you just love how needy she’s being. Your heart soars at her treating you so sweetly and lovingly.

“Just…gimme’ a second.” You say, your knuckles brushing up her neck and tangling into her hair.

“Okay.” She says, her eyes glazed in pure tenderness and you feel like your heart is going to burst any minute. You lean in and peck her lips as she watches. You go back in and kiss her until the two of you fall asleep together.

You wake up, your legs tangled with Carmilla’s under the bed sheets and everything feels different compared to the first time you were here. You get up to go to the bathroom, Carmilla stirring under you. You grab some t shirt and pajama pants that were laying on the floor to put them on and get back in bed. Carmilla smudges her fingers against her eyes as she wakes.

“Morning.” She mumbles and you laugh to yourself.

“Good morning sleepy head.” You reply sitting up instead of laying back down with her. You’re thoughts wont let you just go back to sleep as if nothing different happened last night. And really, you’ve been trying not to think about everything for the longest time because you always end up overthinking all the details about Carmilla but come on! After what she did yesterday, showing up to the dinner only because of you even when you never asked her too, waiting for you and being so gentle with you after she brought you back here. Well…minus the desperate slamming against random objects part but that was actually pretty hot. Regardless! You couldn’t just not think about it, or see it…or feel it. There had to be something. There’s no way Carmilla didn’t feel it too, not with how she went out of her way to do all that.

She has to feel something back.

And with how she’s looking at you right now all sleepy and content how could there not be? After how she asked you point blank if you wanted her and said what she said back…

You can’t be the only one with these feelings. You have to be right. She likes you back, she has to. Maybe even...

“Hey, Carm?”

She props herself up on her elbows. “Yeah?”

You try and muster up the courage to speak but stop when you look at her. “Here, I can’t take you seriously when you’re naked.” You reach by the side of the bed and throw a tank top at her.

“What do you need to ask me with a serious shirt on?” she says sarcastically but you ignore it.

Because you can’t take this anymore. You need to know.

You take a deep breath. “What are we?”

“What?”

You fidget uncomfortably under her confused gaze. “You know what I mean.” She sits up and looks somewhere by her lap instead of you, but she doesn’t say anything so you go on. “What are we doing?”

“You never had to ask before, why are you asking this now?” she says, her brow furrowed.

“Because!-“ you sigh and slouch looking for the right words. “-I know you don’t like taking things out of proportion or context but—you brought me..” you scrunch up your fingers. “Lunch! And buy me dinner and-“ you sigh again because you could’ve worded this better. “You cared.”

She tenses up and scooches backwards, her back against the wall as she shakes her head. “No that’s- what are you getting at??”

“You know!” you wave your hands around gesturing at the situation and her wide eyes finally look your way.

“No, I _don’t_ know. I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do! You’ve changed and—you went last night.” You interrupt your own sentence and point at her. “Kirsch said you haven’t invited a girl over in months!”

“Nonsense! Of course I have!” she suddenly admits as if to prove a point and it catches you off guard.

“..What do you mean…like…you slept with them?” you ask, your former determination and energy fading a bit. She doesn’t answer right away, instead pinching the bridge of her nose and looking anywhere but you. “ _Carm_.” You say demandingly and she shakes her head finally looking at you.

“Yes. I have.” She shrugs and continues shaking her head. And you feel the hurt slowly slither its way up your chest from your stomach.

“ _Oh_.”

“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t even matter.” She tries but the pain in your chest and the stinging making its way to your eyes is already too potent.

“I thought we agreed to tell each other if we slept with someone else. For…safety concerns.” You start and feel the energy in you pick up again, this time being pushed by the hurt. “And really it’s just a decent thing to tell someone you’re sleeping with you know!”

“I don’t even remember the girl!” she tries to defend and it’s a half assed excuse to you. You can’t hide the hurt in your face so you look down at your hands on your lap, your lips moving as if to say something but nothing comes out so she goes on. “It was just once, okay. I didn’t just go and do it on purpose!” and you’re sure she thinks that’ll make it sound better but it doesn’t.

You feel your head shake in disbelief at this whole day and conversation. “When?” you ask quietly.

“it doesn’t-”

“ _Carmilla, when_?”

You see her swallow and take a moment to answer. “A few months ago. While you were away.”

And you can only keep looking at your hands to try and hold back the tears threatening to spill. “Oh.” You feel Carmilla move on the bed as catch a glimpse of her reaching out but you flinch back holding yourself together as best you can.

Because what were you thinking? She warned you at the beginning that this was how she was. And what were you but another fun time to her from the beginning. You knew better, you really did but your stupid heart didn’t. Look where that’s gotten you now.

“It was—a stupid night. I don’t even really remember it at all.” She tries again but it just adds to how you just feel so used and insignificant after all this time because what are you but an exceptional sex partner.

You scoff you yourself with a small bitter smile. “Of course you don’t. You never remember the girls you have fun with.”

“I remember you.” She says softly and honestly but you don’t care it still tastes bitter in your mouth.

“Yeah because that’s all I am to you. Just _fun_.”

You see her quickly shake her head moving towards you. “No—that—that’s not what I meant, Laura.”

“I know what you meant, Carmilla!” you say moving back and away from her reach.

“No, you don’t. Laura you’re different-“

“Yeah.” You agree but it’s not the way she wants you to. You get up from the bed. ”I was the only one dumb enough to stick around.” You brush your hair back and start looking for your clothes.

“You know, you don’t have any obligations towards me either. You could have done whatever you wanted in Europe. It would have been none of my business.”

“Really?! That’s what you’re going with?!” You stop searching and finally look at her directly. She freezes in your hurt gaze. “I could’ve but I didn’t.” you start stepping out of the room. “Unlike you.”

She gets up, grabbing some underwear from the floor and angrily following you out. “Well it’s the truth! It’s none of my business and I’m quite _glad_ that it isn’t because I could have cared _less_!”

You’re just fuming now, scrunching up your fingers as you desperately look for your belongings on the floor. You turn to face her. “You know what.” You nod to yourself and shrug. “Fine. _Fine_. That’s just the way it is then? That’s just it.”

She opens her arms up and lets them drop back to her sides. “I guess it is.” She replies fuming just as much.

You huff in disbelief and shake your head, quickly bending down to take your dress and underwear. “I thought this was different-“

“Well you thought wrong.” She interjects and you walk to the coat rack by the door, grabbing your new coat clumsily.

Your voice cracks a bit, “I guess I did.” You open the door and slam it behind you as you leave.

What were you thinking? 

-

So this argument went terribly. And maybe you could’ve said things differently or not but Laura’s still taking this way out of proportion.

But Laura’s hurt and even though you just told her the truth, you regret your words. Because it’s not what she wanted to hear…and your confession is making your stomach feel ill. The hurt look on Laura’s face has your chest tightening in the most painful way that you can’t seem to even understand. You try and not make a big deal out of sleeping with that girl but Laura just looks more hurt by it. You don’t know how to fix this. You don’t know what it is you even trying to fix at this point either.

‘ _What are we?’_ She had asked and the question keeps going round and round your head, your palms sweating nervously like never before.

“It was just once, okay. I didn’t just go and do it on purpose!” you add, hoping it’ll make things better but even after the words leave your lips you feel like it doesn’t. You feel it only made things worse.

“When?” she asks quietly and you feel the accusation hit you hard.

You remember waking up that night disoriented and hung-over. The disgust you felt with yourself afterwards to the point of washing your sheets.

“it doesn’t-” you start but she doesn’t let you even try.

“ _Carmilla, when_?” she says more pointedly and you swallow taking a moment before admitting what you hid from her for so long. You know there’s no turning back now.

“A few months ago. While you were away.” You watch as the gears on her head start turning, calculating and realizing everything that happened from than moment on. And you try to reach out. You try to touch her so she can know you’re still the girl that was with her last night. The girl that always likes spending time with her.

But she pulls away. And it’s the first blow to strike at your heavy heart.

_You hurt Laura._

“It was—a stupid night. I don’t even really remember it at all.” You try and save but she scoffs with a bitter smile on her face and you think you see a tear drip down to her lap.

“Of course you don’t. You never remember the girls you have fun with.”

The second strike to your heavy heart.

“I remember you.” You try again.

“Yeah because that’s all I am to you. Just _fun_.”

“No—that—that’s not what I meant, Laura.”

“I know what you meant, Carmilla!” she yells out and you flinch.

“No, you don’t. Laura you’re different-“

“Yeah. I was the only one dumb enough to stick around.” She starts frantically searching around the floor and you hate how much her words hurt you. Does she just think that’s alright? To say those things with no regards to what you might feel too? Your frustration gets you angry now and maybe you want to hurt her too.

“You know, you don’t have any obligations towards me either. You could have done whatever you wanted in Europe. It would have been none of my business.” But it would’ve have upset you and you know that.

“Really?! That’s what you’re going with?!” She stops searching and finally looks at you directly. And you can’t move at her tearful gaze. “I could’ve but I didn’t. Unlike you.”

You get up and grab some underwear lying around to angrily follow her out of the room. “Well it’s the truth! It’s none of my business and I’m quite _glad_ that it isn’t because I could have cared _less_!” you try and angrily hurt her as much as she’s hurting you. And you’re fuming with her now.

“You know what.” She nods and shrugs. “Fine. _Fine_. That’s just the way it is then? That’s just it.”

You opens your arms up wanting to make a point and let them drop back to your sides. “I guess it is.” You bite back.

A pause.

“I thought this was different-“ she starts and you interrupt her.

“Well you thought wrong.”

She walks to the door, grabbing your new coat and she gives you one final intense look. “I guess I did.” She says, her voice cracking and making your chest tighten even more. She opens the door and slams it behind her.

And you hate yourself for wishing she had stayed.

You hate yourself for not going after her, your feet planted on the spot for longer than you’d see necessary. And your fists are shaking like your chin and you refuse to accept why.

You refuse to let a girl complicate your life again after so long.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides in her hurricane cave* i'm sorry but also i'm evil. (don't worry though. One chapter left!) if there's any huge mistakes let me know! I'll try and be back online again soon.


	15. Spilled Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth hurts but sometimes it has to in order for you to realize things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been forever I'm so sorry! I've never finished something before [a fic i mean] so I was nervous but now that's it's done i'm excited af! I hope you all enjoy this one. I'm sorry but also you're welcome and I love you all! 
> 
> Songs I used to write this one: 
> 
> Hopeless by Halsey  
> Our Perfect Disease (plastic plates remix) by The Wombats  
> Me Rehuso by Danny Ocean (which i translated the lyrics on tumblr so ya'll could feel my feels!)  
> and Escape by Enrique Iglesias lol

You left and she didn’t stop you.

 

You try and breath properly but you can only heave between quiet sobs. You haven’t even left the building yet because you’re such a mess. You wipe away the tears streaming down your cheeks but it’s useless, they just keep pouring out and you feel so stupid.

 

You can’t believe she hadn’t mentioned it before. All those times that she said she didn’t want anyone right now and you thought–you just thought…that maybe it was because of you. You shut your eyes and shake your head, your fist bumping your forehead a few times because how could you have been so stupid? How could you have let this get so out of hand? All these feelings you tried so hard to keep bottled up inside for so long. All those stupid thoughts of her maybe wanting you as more than some stupid fuck buddy.

 

She had actually slept with someone else while you were busy tossing all these thoughts around your mind. While you were missing her every single day you were away. While you were eager to come back so you could finally see her again.

 

When could it have been?

 

You open your eyes as you start to think through the possibilities, one standing out in your mind once you remember. The one time you came back and something was different. Something had been off and you were to blind to see it in plain sight.

 

She had changed the bed sheets and you’d noticed.

 

You’d noticed and told her and still didn’t even think it could’ve been because someone else had been there.

 

You scoff at your own lack of sight.

 

This happened months ago and she tells you this now?!

 

She could have just told you. She could have just been honest and come out with it. You might’ve been more understanding then. You might not have had all these useless feelings for her back then. It’s like she said, you didn’t have any obligations towards each other after all, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered. Maybe things could’ve stayed simple between you two. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten so attached so easily.

 

You feel sick and you really don’t want to stay inside this place right now. For the first time ever, you don’t want to be here. And the thought that you’ve always wanted to before, more than anywhere else; only makes the ache in your chest worse.

 

You look above towards the stairs wondering if anyone is close enough to witness your misery and it only makes you realize how she didn’t try to follow you either. How little you must have truly meant to her. How did you confuse things this much?

 

You don’t want to be here anymore. You don’t want to feel this—you don’t want any of this at all. You push yourself away from the wall and step outside barefoot to hail a cab. Last night’s heels dangling from your hands and you would have left them behind if they weren’t new, your dad having paid for them along with the rest of yesterday’s outfit. This stupid outfit that you’re messily holding in your hands after last night. You look down at yourself remembering what you’re wearing. You didn’t even think twice about leaving in Carmilla’s clothes, but you’re not going back.

 

 

So you really leave this time, and she still doesn’t stop you.

 

She doesn’t text or call you.

 

And you really thought this morning that the two of you had to be something. With the way Carmilla smiled as she tucked stray hairs behind your ear last night, or how her eyes wouldn’t stop shinning with something more than just desire. You’ve both been doing this for months now and even when you were away you’d come back to her as if nothing had changed.

 

Because she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t change.

 

She’d only be there with you more than before. Kiss you more, smile at you more, asking more and more about you and your day. You and her wouldn’t even meet up just for the sake of sex anymore. You’d casually hang out, go out to eat, see each other during lunch breaks or even meet up after work to just spend time with each other and talk. She even did things for you like go to that award ceremony or bring you goodies to the office, even though you had to go back in instead of heading home with her.

 

All those random sleepovers and food dates.

 

…Last night’s dinner.

 

You wipe the stray tears with the collar of Carmilla’s shirt and you hate how much it smells like her.

 

How much you love that smell.

 

How you’d grown to find it so comforting.

 

How it manages to stand out from the smell of sex that’s still stuck to your body, or the salty taste from your tears.

 

You really thought the business dinner was going to be the hardest thing to go through yesterday. The dinner she didn’t even have to go to but showed up anyway. Surprising you, looking just stunning and getting involved in your life more and more. And you thought it was all so stupid and so clear and you didn’t know why you didn’t just let it happen sooner.

 

But you see it now, you see how she didn’t want what you did.

 

 

 

And after a few weeks it still hurts. It still feels like someone cut a hole in you and you realize just how attached to her you really were. How big of a part of your life she had turned into. Daily or not. Physically or virtually.

 

Emotionally...

 

Your thoughts trail off because she was never a bad to you. She always asked about your life and how you had been doing and it wasn’t always just sex. And maybe that’s what caught you off guard. Maybe that’s what convinced you that maybe she felt the same way. She had just been a decent person from the start and it whipped you so hard but still…

 

She was more than just a stranger to you, and now, after all you’d been through…

 

You pass your fingers through your hair trying to sooth yourself after having such an emotionally draining week trying to control the urge to go to her. Because you just can’t do this anymore, you can’t just be some girl to her again. You can’t stop all these feelings you have towards her anymore. You sigh and go back to the paperwork on the desk.

_…How did you become strangers again?_

 

 

You can barely pay attention to the words in front of you, your dad doing his best not to push you to work faster. He hasn’t directly asked you about the elephant in the room but he doesn’t mind tiptoeing around it. He _is_ your dad after all, he knows you too well.

 

“Any plans for lunch with anyone?”

 

“No dad.”

 

“Huh…Really?” you nod and keep reading through the same sentence over and over in the report. “Cause if you do I’d understand if you had to go ahead of break time.”

 

“Thanks dad, but I’m good right here.”

 

“Well…there’s not much left to do here anymore.” He pats the small stack of papers on his desk. “We can go get something to eat together. Maybe stop by that bakery you like.”

 

You keep reading and slightly shake your head. “I’m not really that hungry.”

 

That catches him off guard, he seems to give up and take a seat as he watches you read. You know he can tell you’ve been acting off for weeks now and you’re thankful you haven’t had to bring it up to anyone who’s asked you.

 

Not even LaF. Not even Perry. But you can feel how hard your dad’s been trying to lay off.

 

“Laura, can I ask you a loaded question?” he asks a bit worried but calmly and you hope this won’t be the moment you’re forced to break again. You don’t think you could take much more of that. Especially here with your dad. You take a nervous deep breath and look at him.

 

“Sure. Just…keep it as light as you can, kay?”

 

He nods agreeing, calmly watching you before he straightens up and takes a steady breath. “Do you like it here?”

 

“What, like…in this office? I mean the light green walls remind me of minty gum but-“

 

“No no! not _here_ here just… _here_ in general. The company, the town, the house?”

 

You close the report and move it aside to pay more attention to your dad. It’s not like you were reading it anyway. “Well…yeah. I mean, it’s what I’ve know all my life. _Of course_ I like it here.”

 

He nods and looks down in deep thought. “I see.”

 

You furrow your brow as you watch him think. “Why do you ask, dad?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess I just—I just hope that you don’t feel stuck to this—to this place. To working for me all the time. Not focusing on yourself as much as you could or should.” You fee a sharp jab somewhere in your chest but he just shrugs with a sigh. “I don’t know, something like that.”

 

“Dad, I don’t feel…stuck. Sure my friends are here and you. I love spending time with you, dad, but…”

 

He quirks up as you look away. “But?”

 

You chew on the inside of your bottom lip, your brow worrying together as you try and keep yourself from thinking of her. Of how much she meant to you for so long now. “But…nothing else is holding me here. I could go whenever and go… _sight seeing_ or travel the world and I wouldn’t feel bad about it. I’d miss you all obviously but…yeah. I’m not stuck, dad. I’m here because this is where I need to be right now. I want to be here with you and all these stupid reports.” You finish with a shrug and a half laugh.

 

His lips twist as he thinks about your words until he slaps his hand against his knees as if suddenly done. “Well, good to know!” He leans forward, his fatherly caring eyes giving you a look you’ve rarely seen after your mom passed away. “Because I’ve been meaning to ask you something. The **_actual_** loaded question I mean.”

 

“That wasn’t it??”

 

He laughs and shakes his head no. “Nah I just needed to squeeze that information outta’ ya.” You glare at him and he smiles at you, resting his arms on the desk. “What I really want to know…is how you’re liking your job after all of this chaos?”

 

You pout a bit surprised and shrug again. “It’s nice.” He waits for you to say more so you scratch the back of your head and think. “It’s a lot easier after having to do so much so fast. And uh…I guess…the meetings flow better now and the…software update is…great?” you add a bit confused.

 

He nods. “So you’re more comfortable handling everything now.”

 

“Yeah I guess.”

 

“Well…I was thinking—since you mentioned now that nothing’s holding you here—with the new deal overseas with Von Vorden Corp opening up so many job opportunities for us people. Which is a truly large amount might I say. Large enough to open up a small office for us over there.” He lowers his head, his chin resting against his fist as he looks at thin air and thinks. “well…I was wondering…” You lean closer urging him to go on but he seems to be stuck having a conversation with himself in his head. “Well…you do love travelling…”

 

“ _Dad_..” you warn not knowing what he’s trying this time. His plans for you haven’t exactly been your favorite lately.

 

“Now hold on, I’m asking you this one before making any preparations.” He extends one of his hands to grab yours. “…Would you want to move to London for a bit? Just to get everything started! Settle the company—and you can come back once you’re done!” You open your mouth to speak but he interrupts you. “ _Or_ —” you squint your eyes at him. “Or, you could stay there making sure everything keeps running smoothly if you want.” He squeezes your hand proudly. “You’re more than ready to boss people around.”

 

You stare at each other for awhile until you finally sigh. “Dad…I don’t know…”

 

“There’s no one I’d trust more with this. If not, then I can just go take care of it myself. There’s no pressure on this one, sweetie. It’s whatever you want.”

 

“But then how long would you be gone?” you frown at the thought. You took this job to be closer to him, not further away.

 

“As long as needed be, I can’t know as of yet.” He shrugs.

 

You chew on your lip trying to decide what to do. “Can I think about it?”

 

He nods. “Of course you can! I’m still handling things with Danny to find a nice building and place some adds. There’s no rush.”

 

You slowly nod and squeeze his hand. “Okay, dad.”

 

He squeezes it back and uses his free hand to pat over yours. “Okay.”

 

 

-

 

 

You’re frustrated.

 

Still standing by yourself in the middle of your apartment, trying to convince yourself that you did the right thing not going after her.

 

But you want to _so badly_.

 

It’s like you’re being pulled by her force but you won’t do it. You won’t go after Laura.

 

Your whole body feels stiff as if fighting you on this, _begging you_ to take a step towards the door and to just keep moving but you won’t.

 

That’s not something you do for people. You squeeze your eyes shut tightly, your fists clenching harder at your sides and you refuse to chase after someone.

 

After anyone.

 

That only ends up making things worse. Making things more complicated than they need to be. You take a deep breath and head back into your room, slamming your own door shut. You sit on the corner of your bed, your legs curling up as you wrap your arms around them and you think it’s the only way you can keep yourself from going anywhere.

 

You did the right thing this time, it’s not like Laura was special. It was about time you stopped getting ahead of yourself and clinging to this girl like an idiot.

 

You look toward your window when you hear some tires scrapping over the wet road and you try not to think how it could be Laura leaving for good. Your eyes go lower until you’re staring over the top drawer by your bed, reminding yourself what happened the last time you let yourself get caught up in someone. The only thing you’ve ever kept from your high school mess of a relationship sitting inside it. Your grip tightens around yourself.

 

Elle’s farewell letter.

 

Though it was much more a ‘note’ than a letter if you’re being honest with yourself. You can’t blame her for it though, at that age everything was much more dramatic than it needed to be. You would skip classes just to meet her for a few minutes in the girls bathroom. Always leaving more hickeys than necessary as if marking your territory, fearing that someone else would try and take her away from you. But in the end no one did, no one had to, because she took care of that herself. You remember how strict your mother was, not letting you be with her after 7pm because it was a school night. You remember how little you cared and would sneak out the window anyway to go see her. Because you’d always go after her, no matter what the obstacle was. But your mother caught you once and threatened to call Elle’s parents to tell them the truth about you two. Her father loved you and would always have you over but Elle never told him about the things you two did. _About what you two were_. She never told anyone. So when your mother gave you a letter after school and you saw it was hers you wondered why she hadn’t just texted you after school. You wondered why she wouldn’t meet you in the bathroom anymore after you told her how you wouldn’t let your mother come between you two. You remember how she wasn’t as excited to travel together after graduation anymore but most of all; you remember how lost, angry and broken you felt when you read the few lines in her handwriting. Angry at how she could just put it all into a few words instead of a long meaningful letter. Angry at how easily she decided to end it all. How effortlessly she left you.

 

****

**_‘Cant do this anymore. It’s too much for me. I could never be as committed to you as you wish I was. You’re not mine, Carmilla, and I can’t be yours._ **

****

**_I’m moving before grad._ **

****

**_Sorry.’ –Elle_ **

 

You try and block out how much you panicked afterwards.

 

It was so pathetic the way you’d chase after her all the time.

 

So dramatic and angsty and you honestly still feel a tinge of shame whenever you think about those days. You tried leaving the house to go after her as the sobbing gay mess you were but your mother wouldn’t let you. She insisted you were being childish and of course you were; you were only 16 and your first love had just dumped you through a ripped notebook page tucked in a pre-used envelop sealed with tape. At the time you could only accuse your mother of falsifying it but you knew it was her writing. You knew those little stars on the top of the page from her English notebook and you still refused to believe it’s authenticity. Your mother was making dinner at the time and as you yelled at her to let you leave and she refused, your young emotional self went into a fit and threw things around.

 

Flammable things. 

 

Towels and books and whatever you could find near the kitchen, accidentally spilling the pot of goods she had brewing all over the floor. The kitchen curtains somehow catching on fire. You and your mother struggling to get close to it because of the hot substance spilled all around.

 

The kitchen had burned down, the flames reaching the side of the house and up to your room’s window which you had snuck out of so many times for Elle.

 

How mad your love for her had made you, it had you feeling as embarrassed and ashamed of yourself as your mother was. The fire department made it in time to save the house but the kitchen was ruined and half of your room as well. And yet you still wanted to run out of the house and go after Elle but you stayed. You sat in the stairwell and read her note over and over once everything was finally sinking in and you sobbed there. Your mother dragged you outside of the house while the firemen assessed the damage.

 

You actually laughed at the sight of the blackened wall outside as your mother seethed beside you. Your mother went inside to sleep on the couch, not before throwing you a pillow and blanket to lock you outside. She told you to move out after graduation and grow up.

 

You slept in your backyard under the trees and stars that night and didn’t feel as lonely as your heart kept trying to tell you you were.  

 

You did move out after graduation. As did your mother, moving away like Elle, leaving you alone in this god forsaken town. But you had Will and Kirsch now and they didn’t pry into your life to the level your mother did. They didn’t care about who you dated or not, how you spent your time and with who, what girls you brought over your place. You could finally feel like you had no care in the world with them. And you learned more about the world each new day. You’d grown after that fire, the remnants of the house always remind you of how far you’ve come. The spot behind the house always reminding you the stars kept you company when you didn’t want to feel alone.

 

You look out your window and don’t feel that reassuring company as the morning light shines through. You brush your hair back frustrated with an angry groan. How had caring made it’s way back into your life? Your anger only growing when you feel the tears stinging as they try and leave your eyes but you won’t let them. You throw yourself back with a groan, laying down on your bed.

 

You don’t go after girls, you don’t do feelings or relationships and you should have remembered that a long time ago instead of spending so much time with her.

 

_Why did you spent so much extra time?_

 

You should have stayed away from Laura Hollis.

 

So you will.

 

You’ll ignore her.

 

And you think that’s what you’re doing for days but Laura hasn’t even reached out to you since that fight. No calls or texts, just nothing. And you actually find yourself waiting for her to even try, though you wouldn’t pick up her call either way.

 

You say that, but she never does.

 

And you’re left looking at the pictures of her on your phone before bed almost every night because you’d grown used to her. Her face, her presence. _Her_ just wasting time with you every other day. And it isn’t until it’s been over a week that you notice how slowly your days go by. How much time you have left over between work and food and sleep. Because Laura took all of that time before with her messages and her pictures and her funny work stories. Because you had let Laura become such a constant in your day to day life and now you just feel so alone and empty.

 

 

You can’t see the stars that well from your window, their light not being able to help comfort you. You roll over in bed failing to fall asleep again and you hug the yellow pillow Laura left after her second trip. It’s something you’ve told yourself that isn’t a big deal, it’s just a comfortable pillow you’ve grown used to. But sometimes you get angry at how much you need its comfort to sleep. You’re still so childish and naïve and alone. So you angrily throw the pillow across the room and try to fall asleep on your own, but you can’t. You can’t sleep for more than a few hours without it.

 

You need the stupid thing.

 

So in the middle of the night you feel around for the stupid thing and it’s not there. The space beside you empty making you feel just as much, so you sit up all groggy and sleepy and stare at the bright yellow pillow across the room. The way it taunts you from a distance irks you inside. You slowly get out of bed and grab it to take it back with you. Hugging it makes you feel like shit after how you treated Laura all those days ago. Her hurt face engraved in your thoughts whenever you try to close your eyes and sleep. But her familiar smell bringing a sleepy smiling Laura into your mind instead.  

 

Each night the smell of her familiar shampoo fades more and more on her pillow and you can’t stop feeling like you wish she was here.

 

You can’t stop yourself from missing her.

 

 

-

 

After your dad got that idea in your mind you haven’t been able to get it out. Every morning you’d wonder what it would be like to get away from this place. Away from this routine you’ve had ever since graduating. Away from the people in your life that you cherish and love so much.

 

_From Carmilla…_

 

You stand by the glass window staring out into the city as the sunset pours through the buildings. It reminds you of all the times you saw the light do the same through the windows in her apartment. They were always sunrises though, not sunsets. Maybe that’s a perfect way to see everything this relationship has been. Maybe the rise was beautiful and bright only to end in so much empty darkness. You watch the clouds slowly move above and think about how maybe even the stars that Carmilla loves so much won’t be able to light up your night skies anymore.

 

She hasn’t tried contacting you in weeks and you refuse to be the one going after her like always. It’s you who would text her every night, who would go visit her at her place with a simple text as an invitation and really, you’d go anywhere if she asked you too.

 

But not this time. This time it doesn’t feel right to be the one trying. You’re tired of that.

 

“You know what, dad?” you suddenly say once you hear him talking to someone as he walks nearby.

 

“—Yes?” he stops in his tracks waiting for you to tell him, Betty standing beside him taking notes of whatever it was he was saying.

 

“I think I _do_ want to go.”  You state plainly and for a minute you think your dad doesn’t get it. “Overseas, I mean. I want to.”

 

His eyes widen in realization. “Oh… _Oh_! Yes of course, Laura. I’ll uh…I’ll get Betty here started on the plans. Betty?”

 

“Consider it done. I’ll send over Ryan to get on it. Any specific date?” She looks over to you and you watch as the sunlight starts leaving the horizon.

 

“…Maybe next week?” you shrug not even sure if you’d rather leave right away or wallow in the weight of your decision for a longer period of time.  

 

Betty gives you a look and you hate how well she knows you. “I’ll tell Ryan to get you an early flight. Give you some time to settle once you’re there.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Anything else Mrs. Hollis?” she says and you hate how distant it makes you sound and feel. You know she’s only preparing for what comes once you’re gone.

 

“Yeah…Have lunch with me today?” you plead more than demand and she squeezes her lips tightly together with a small but sure nod.

 

“Count on it.” She turns and heads to the elevator to start her tasks and you’re going to miss her more than most people would ever know. Betty and you were roommates for years. She may have been stuck up sometimes and not one for sharing but you grew close; you even pulled some strings to get her a job here knowing she’d be a hell of an asset for this place. You could always count on her to be like a big sister to you in college. Perry would be there for you, sure; but Betty would see right through you, understanding you and consoling you with no need for words or pity. You’ve always been able to rely on her both in your personal life and work life.

 

Things won’t be the same without her only a few minutes away.

 

You sigh and rub your forehead, realizing you’re going to have to tell others.

 

_“Laf and Perry.”_ You note, letting your form melt with the new stress.

 

You’ll figure something out later.

 

_Days_ later, in fact.

 

They take it way better than you’d expected, acting much more proud of you for _“exceeding yourself”_ in the work place. And maybe you wish at least someone would plead you not to go.

 

Laura (4:28PM): I don’t wanna make a big deal out of this LaF

 

LaF (4:28PM): doesn’t mean we can’t do it for you

 

LaF (4:28PM): we need to go to all our favorite spots! OOH OOH! WE CAN GO TO PERRY’S MOM’S PLACE AND SKINNY DIP IN THE LAKE AGAIN.

 

Laura (4:29PM): that was in SENIOR YEAR LaF. We’re adults now.

 

Laura (4:29PM): …we’re wearing shoes this time.

 

LaF (4:30PM): Agreed. Perry’s got another idea too.

 

LaF(4:30PM): We’re throwing you a farewell party.

 

Laura (4:30PM): NO.

 

LaF (4:31PM): They’ll be a ‘pin the stake on Angel’ game and table dancing!

 

Laura (4:31PM): LAFONTAINE, NO. U ARE NOT CONVINCING ME THROUGH HOMEMADE BUFFY GAMES.

 

LaF (4:32PM): oh my god we can do it at your house and build a makeshift slide on the stairs, hold on I’m writing these down.

 

Laura (4:32PM): S. LAFONTAINE NHFLDJKJGFRICHN WE WILL N O T

 

LaF (4:33PM): Perry says its fine as long as she handles the catering. She’s not over the mushroom thing from last time.

 

Laura (4:33PM): how are you not listening right now

 

“Hey honey!” your dad suddenly opens the door and leans in. “I told LaFontaine the slide only goes if I’m supervising the making for safety measurements of course. Ooh! I’d better get started on those plans. We can use the scraps from the old tree house.” He mumbles to himself as he slips back out and your left gapping at the door.

 

Laura (4:34PM): YOU

 

Laura (4:34PM): CALLED

 

Laura (4:34PM): MY

 

Laura (4:34PM): DAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

LaF (4:35PM): I have him on speed dial. He joyously agreed. Party’s on Tuesday!!! 8D

 

 

You kept nagging them to not make a big deal out of this but it was useless. LaFontaine somehow got a hold of the company contact list and invited some of your coworkers along with a few of the girls who were in your dorm. Still, when the party finally comes you’re glad it’s smaller than you anticipated. There’s no Kirsch, which shouldn’t surprise you since you don’t actually have his number. You two aren’t super close or anything and he isn’t really close with LaF and Perry either so you try and not think much about it. You’ve grown to care about him though and maybe you wish someone had actually tried to invite him.

 

But then he might’ve brought Carmilla along with him with how innocent and clueless he can be.

 

You twirl the straw inside the drink you’ve barely touched tonight. The small crowd surrounding your house all in lively conversation. Perry’s familiar yelps as she goes down the makeshift slide for the first time, LaFontaine helping her up once she reaches the bottom in a fit of giggles. You chuckle to yourself as you watch them both always being there for each other and look back down at your now luke warm drink.

 

_Would she even have cared to come?_

 

You doubt she’d want to be here with the way things still are and honestly, you don’t think you could handle having her here, even if it was just as friends.

 

You place your drink on the small table beside you giving up on it with a sigh. You wish Kirsch was here. Even if just seeing him would remind you of her.

 

You’re gonna miss that big puppy too.

 

-

 

Carmilla slams the van door shut and grumpily follows you inside the supermarket.

 

“I still don’t see why you’re forcing me to come with you.”

 

“Uh, because this is your food, dude. Seriously I can’t believe you haven’t stocked your fridge since last time!”

 

“Will isn’t back yet.” She says guilty and looks away. She hasn’t been acting right for weeks now. You might not be the smartest guy in town but you’ve seen the lack of Laura and the obvious sloppy depression she’s going through super clearly. “Couldn’t you have just done this on your own and surprised me? You’re into that caring crap.”

 

“I probably woulda’! But _you_ have got to get out more.”

 

“I get out all the time.” She says as you grab an empty kart.

 

“Yuh huh.” You roll your eyes way harder than necessary since all your best friend has been is moody and childish so far. “To the channel! Not to like— eat and shop and visit your bestest bro in the whole world.” You add accusingly and she sighs shaking her head but following you inside.

 

“I’ve been…busy. You know that. Will’s-“

 

“Yeah yeah, Will’s extra gigs. Driving all over town for shows. Whatever, bro.” You look at the veggie aisle but decide to turn to the snacks instead. _Cookies are good for the heart right?_

 

Carmilla drags behind you not even trying to carry on the conversation you were having. It’s actually starting to worry you. You haven’t seen her so out of fighting power in a long ass time. She won’t share if she doesn’t want to, you know that from experience. But you still gotta wonder what could be up.

 

Why haven’t you seen Laura around?

 

Or why does Carm stop talking whenever you mention her? Like that time you said _‘woah look at that pie discount, I bet Laura would take like three._ ’ Or ‘ _So like British people drink tea and stuff right? There’s like 50 different kinds! Which one would the British lady who moved next door like better? Gah, Laura would know.’_ She wouldn’t agree or disagree, she’d just…stand there picking at her nails or literally walk away.

 

Her apartment isn’t even clean anymore. Not that it ever really was but…when Laura came by, Carmilla would always at least pick up her clothes! But now…

 

You look back at Carmilla who’s barely trying to pick out things on the shelves. She keeps looking at her phone every few minutes like she’s waiting for someone’s call or something. She doesn’t know you’ve watched her do it for like the ninth time today.

 

You frown and scratch at the back of your neck. _What else can you do for your best friend? You’re literally buying her enough supplies for like a month. She hasn’t even picked anything out herself like what’s up with that?!_ _Doesn’t she have like cravings or something?_

 

You exhale through your nostrils sharply and keep pushing the full kart.

 

Wait, cravings. You remember her and Laura gushing over some Choco Crunch the last time you were all here. They bought like three friggin’ boxes. Carmilla’s probably running out by now since everything else in her kitchen is empty. Maybe that’d cheer her up at least a little, right?

 

“I’m gonna go get something.”

 

“Whatever your _canine_ heart desires.” She says half heartedly shooing you with her hand for you to leave.

 

You dash down the aisles with the kart looking for the cereal aisle when you recognize some rad red hair ahead of you.

 

“Mad scientist!” They turn their head towards you in a flash and you smile widely pushing your kart towards them.

 

“Muscle mass, what’s up?”

 

“You know, just gathering some heavy fuel for the ol’ machine bod.” They snort at you and the other ginger comes up behind them greeting you with a wave. You nod at her and push your kart a bit to the side. “So, how cool is it that we both shop here huh?”

 

“Ordinary level.” They say.

 

“Kirsch, it’s so good to see you! If only we had had this run in sooner.” Says the one with curls making you real confused.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well…” she starts and rad hair cuts her off.

 

“We had this party for Laura last night, she probably would have liked you to be there.”

 

“Sorry…we didn’t know how to contact you.” says Perry.

 

“Aw, that sucks… It’s cool though, hit me up when you guys go party next time.” You take out your phone. “Can I get your numbers? Oh! If that makes you uncomfortable or something I can just give you mine, I don’t wanna push.” They give each other a weird worried look and you’re still confused.

 

_Were you being creepy again or something?_ _Man, people are so hard to read sometimes._

 

“Kirsch…” Perry starts but doesn’t go on.

 

“There won’t be a next time for a while now…at least not with Laura.” says LaF.

 

Perry nods quickly. “Yes— but you can still have some fun with us!” She hands you her phone for you to type in instead.

 

“I don’t understand. Why isn’t Laura going to party?” you worry your brow as you finish and give the phone back. “Wait…is Laura sick or something? Does she need some soup? I got some soup.” You pull out a can from the kart and hold it up but they shake their head.

 

“Kirsch…” they sigh. “Laura’s moving away.” You stare at them both, your mouth a bit a gape. “It was a farewell party.”

 

“What…but..” you look down at the Choco Crunch in your other hand. “..but what about…”

 

Perry pats you on the arm. “Cheer up, Kirsch.” Her eyes brighten. “Laura’s still in town! You can go visit her before she goes if you’d like!”

 

They nod and bump your shoulder with their fist. “Yeah, you still got some time.”

 

You nod and slouch a bit. “Yeah.” You stare at the cereal remembering why you’re here and straighten up suddenly. “I gotta go! Seeing you guys was great! Later!” you struggle turning your kart around and dash down the aisles looking for Carmilla with new found determination.

 

She’s gotta know about this. _She has to_.

 

“Carm!” you come to a stop only inches away from her and she jumps back startled.

 

“What the hell, Kirsch.” She kicks the bottom of the kart with her boot.

 

“Carm, dude, you have GOT to listen to this.” You turn the kart away to step closer to her and she gives you an uninterested look as usual. “Dude. Laura’s moving.”

 

You don’t think it registers for a few seconds. “…What?” she says and okay maybe you should explain more.

 

You sigh exasperated and roll your eyes. “Okay, so I ran into the ginger squad and they were arguing over the difference between Frosted Flakes and Korn Flakes.” She gives you an even more confused look and you groan. “It’s a thing. Point is, I ran into them! And they told me about this party! This party I was supposed to be invited to but I wasn’t so they told me about it because I should have been there and like it was an important party and I’m kinda bummed out I didn’t get to go but-“

 

“Kirsch.”

 

“Right.” You finally breath and swallow. “Laura’s moving. The party was for Laura, for like goodbye’s and stuff. Because she’s moving. Because –huh…I actually don’t know why. I forgot to ask.”

 

 

She stares at you for a long moment before shrugging and walking past you. “Okay.”

 

You turn your kart baffled and quickly follow her. “ _Okay_?? Dude!” she gives you a side eye. “Wait, did you know about this??”

 

“No.” she grabs some instant noodles, eyes them and throws them in the kart.

 

“Well aren’t you gonna do something?!” she keeps walking and you follow again.

 

“And what exactly would you have me do?”

 

“Call her or like go see her?!?!”

 

She doesn’t comment on it and your left following her around the supermarket anxiously, anticipating her to finally admit she needs to go see her off. They’re really close after all right? She’s gonna go, she has to. But nothing comes and you both head back to her place.

 

You’re legit upset, not saying another word to her even when she asks you if you want some of her noodles. Hopefully the silent treatment will break her and get her to talk about things because you’re seriously getting sick and tired of this avoiding game. Cause that ain’t healthy. But it doesn’t work so you just unpack her groceries in a passive aggressive way.

 

You won’t push her. She’ll talk when she’s ready right?

 

You grab the box of Choco Crunch and stare at it, your jaw clenching as you think how you’re running out of time. You stare at Carmilla lazily lounging on her futon exactly how you found her this morning and you’re worried.

 

_She’ll talk eventually right?_

 

 

You force her to spend the rest of the day with you. She won’t leave her couch though so you just chill with her watching some series on her laptop. She isn’t really watching though, a book in her hands only twenty minutes in. You notice after the third episode how every time you looked over to her she was still on the same page.

 

Man this is frustrating.

 

You finally leave her house when you notice it’s past seven. You actually want to go see Laura even if Carmilla won’t. Maybe Laura will talk about whatever it is that happened between them. You go to her job and ask Betty to let her know you’re here. You remember Betty from all the times you’d study with Laura in her dorm room. She was kinda mean but always meant well and Laura and her had a sibling thing going on with how they argued but never seriously.

 

Betty seems glad to see you though and she tells you to wait over by the lobby. When Laura finally comes down you immediately smile and hug her. She seems happy to see you too even though there’s something different about her. You notice she doesn’t look so good, her eyes not as bright as they used to be, her smile missing some of that hopeful happiness in it she’s always had. The usual rush to talk or move her hands around fast not there.

 

“Kirsch, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you—I’m _so_ glad to see you.”

 

“I ran into LaF and Perry at the supermarket. They told me about the party thing.”

 

She seems to catch on fast. “Right, the party! I’m sorry about that. I wanted you to go but… you know not having your number and all, I didn’t want to just randomly show up at your place to invite you.” She says but you feel she’s implying something else.

 

“It woulda’ been cool. You’re always welcome at Casa de Kirsch.” She smiles at that but you can see the truth behind her eyes.

 

“Yeah, thanks…I just…didn’t want to bother anyone.”

 

You give her a sympathetic grin now knowing what she meant. She didn’t want to run into Carmilla. “Well anyway, I wanted to see you before you go. Congrats and all that stuff. Horraaay.” You half heartedly said the last bit and she chuckled lightly. “Betty uh…mentioned it’s like a promotion so.”

 

“Yeah…I feel kinda weird about it, but I’m happy.”

 

You nod in response and look at her general expression again.

 

She doesn’t _seem_ happy…

 

“I’m really gonna miss you, Tiny Hollis. Don’t go and forget about me over there.” You add jokingly and she chuckles again.

 

“No way _that_ could happen.” She jokes back and the two of you smile at each other quietly for a moment. “So…how’s everything going?”

 

“Like at college? It’s going great! I joined this study group that’s been helping me out a lot. Made a couple of new bros and everything. I still have extra time to do my shifts at the dinner though, especially with Carmilla being too busy for me all the time.”

 

She nods slightly, inhaling deeply as if building up some courage. “How _is_ Carm?” she chews on her lip and looks at something by her feet. “I mean, I bet she’s doing great with all the extra work and all.”

 

“I mean I guess but…” you cross your arms. “I don’t know. She’s seemed kinda off lately. Like I get that she usually ignores me and calls me names but it’s like next level weird and… _broody_.” You scrunch your face up trying to imitate Carmilla’s angry expression. “She hasn’t even had the time to come by the dinner for her steak, driving all over for gigs and people. It’s making me miss her already. I spent some time with her today though so that was cool.”

 

Laura just nods at what you’re saying but you can tell she’s listening attentively.

 

“I’m glad. You’re all she has, with Will still gone. She should give you more attention.” She taps you on your shoulder.

 

You shrug. “Carm doesn’t really like caring about other stuff but I know she does deep down. I know being alone for so long is probably getting to her. Will’s been her housemate for a few years now but he’s never been away this long. Must get kinda lonely there.”

 

Laura’s nostrils flare after she swallows, her lips tightening. You think she’s trying to hold something back.

 

“Yeah…I can imagine.” She says.

 

You consider it for a while before finally deciding to just get out with it. “You haven’t been over in awhile right? Did you two like get into a fight?”

 

Laura sighs and shakes her head. “I guess you could call it that.”

 

“’I’m sure Carm’s just being dumb and grumpy. She’ll get back to you soon. I think I can push her buttons some more before you go away. Wait, right! You’re leaving soon! Don’t worry! I’ll scold her and tell her to call so you can like make up and get her to clean her place again. Man that girl can be dirty. Did you know she’s been wearing the same pants for like a week now? It’s like she barely at home long enough to wash! I’m starting to think she might be living in her company van now. Did you know she’s officially got a company va-“

 

“Kirsch.” She pressed a hand to your chest with a small shake of the head and a sad smile. “Please. Don’t, okay?” You shut your yap and nod slowly getting sad but Laura still manages to smile at you. “Just…let her be. I’m fine. Honest.” She says straightening up a bit, her hands gently rubbing against the side of her thighs.

 

You don’t believe her. “Okay.”

 

She gives you a big hug. “I have to get back to work, but thanks for coming by. I’m happy I got to see you before leaving.”

 

“Y-yeah. Me too.” She pats you on the arm and goes to walk away, waving at you as she presses the button for the elevator and steps inside. “Bye, Laura.”

 

You spend the trip back home thinking and thinking about what could’ve happened. What could you do to fix it? You have to do something to make this all right again because it’s all just so messed up.

 

You sigh as you open your front door, throwing the keys on the shelf. You drop yourself on the couch defeated. Your fingers scratching at your chin as you keep trying to think of a way to help. You said you wouldn’t do it. You agreed to Laura you wouldn’t push it so you won’t. But you really don’t want things to end on such a bad note.

 

How could things get so messed up so suddenly?

You stare at the picture of you and Carmilla hanging from the wall. It’s one of the few existing pictures where she’s legitimately smilling.

 

_How could Carmilla just let her leave?_

 

-

 

 

Kirsch came by your place again to do his assignment for class. He literally keeps barging in like it’s his damn house. You really need to get a new lock. He’s been coming over almost every day since last week. He’s not as talkative as he used to be, mentioning Laura whenever he could to try and get information out of you about what happened. Each time he comes by he seems more upset about something. But you’re not a fool, you won’t ask. That would just get him going on and on about things, trying to pry into your problems again but deeper than before. He must be dying to ask you about Laura again, insist on you calling her as if you should be the one to do it and not her.

 

You shake your head.

 

As if _either_ of you still had any reason to call anymore. It’s too late to do anything about it either way.

 

You lay on your futon, Laura’s yellow pillow on the back of your head again as if it didn’t mean anything to you anymore.

 

Yet you still don’t sleep at night without it.

 

You stare at the words in the book lying on your chest but you haven’t been able to read at all these days. Your mind can’t seem to concentrate properly on anything you try and do, and it just weighs you down more each time. You sigh and drop the open book atop your chest, Kirsch suddenly taking a deep breath through his nostrils looking almost like a bull. You quirk your brow at him as he drops his number two pencil and looks at the ceiling.

 

“Homework really is taking it’s toll on you huh?”

 

“That’s it! I can’t take it anymore!”

 

“What are you-“

 

“It’s been days since Laura left the friggin’ country and you’ve just been laying there! For weeks now! Why won’t you do something about it?! How can you just let Laura _go_ like that?!”

 

You sit up and give him a stern look. “ _Laura_ can do whatever she wants, Kirsch. It’s _her_ god damn life.”

 

He groans desperately as he stands and raises his hands as if infuriated. “ Why do you have to act like this?!”

 

“Like what.” You ask sternly and stand up as well.

 

“Like you don’t care!”

 

“Because _I don’t_ , Kirsch.”

 

“ _Stop_ _lying_ to yourself!” he demands raising his voice.

 

You toss your book aside and step closer to him. “Stop _thinking_ you know what I’m doing!” you raise yours back.

 

“I _do_ know what you’re doing! I’ve been there!” he shakes his head with a huff, his fingers pressed against his temple. “You have a lot of feelings right now and _you’re scared_. I get that. But you can’t just let fear –like…boss you around!”

 

“What?!” you ask in disbelief and you’re angrier than you’d normally be. Kirsch isn’t wrong. You do have a lot of feelings. Most of them anger at this very fucking moment. “You have _no idea_ what I feel. So stop trying to understand what’s going on inside my head.” You walk out of the living room and storm into your room, slamming your door behind you.

 

Kirsch follows behind you, opening your door and you verbally growl. “Carm, I’m not letting you do this to yourself. Laura isn’t like anyone else! She’s special, totally super special to _you_ and me and to be honest probably everyone else who’s ever met her.” He tosses her yellow pillow besides you on the bed and points at it. “You guys have basically been together for months! How have you not noticed that, bro?!”

 

You can seem to speak out against him, your body reacting instead. You can feel your chest rising and falling with anger, your hands slightly shaking.

 

“I don’t want to see you like me, Carm. I don’t want you to be some dumb sappy loner who cant find someone else after Sarah Jane. I really don’t want you to –like, –lose this chance and this _awesome_ girl I’ve known for _years_ and she’s _great_ and like… _funny_ and she _loves you_! She has to bro!”

 

You try and open your mouth to speak out but nothing comes out, the angry shaking making its way to your shoulders now too. Kirsch just keeps going and you hate him for doing this to you. You hate him from not letting things go when you specifically told him not to do this.

 

“How can you not see the way she looks at you? _Or not even that_ , how can you not see the way _you_ do! Like, you have been whipped for months now bro. Super whipped.”

 

“Kirsch!—“ you shut your mouth trying to control your tone. Your tongue brushing over your front teeth. “ I don’t want to do this right now or if I’m lucky, _ever_. It’s over!! Just like this stupid conversation.” You push past him and go to the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking inside just to distract yourself with anything other than this mess of a night.

 

“It’s only over because you let her go! But you can fix it. I know you can bro, just call her and tell her how you feel!”

 

“I’m _not_ calling her. What I _will_ do is break your neck if you don’t stop fucking talking.” You grab a grape soda and start chugging it down trying to keep your mouth busy. You really need to take your mind off of this. You really need to make this conversation stop.

 

“But you and her-“

 

“Me and her are nothing!” You yell back side punching your fridge with your free hand. “We were nothing and we will continue to be nothing because _nothing_ is exactly what I want from her. _Nothing_ is exactly what I need you to keep fucking saying.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

You scrunch up your fingers, a gesture Laura would do when she was angry too and you hate that you remember that. You hate that Kirsch is making you think about things you’re trying so hard to just forget.

 

“Kirsch I swear to god…”

 

“That girl. The one you slept with to like spite Will and me on your _oh so bad ass babe who does whatever she wants_ phase, well that girl _fucked you up_ and you know it.” You squeeze the can of grape soda in your hand and clench your teeth so hard together that it actually hurts. “You came to my house the next day and I could _see_ how fucked up you felt inside. Eyes don’t lie bro. They’re like, the door to the soul or whatever and _your eyes_? They were saying you felt like shit for screwing some hottie to prove a stupid point. That nobody asked for by the way! Since when do you force yourself to go with Will’s games? But whatever, that’s not my point. My point is you weren’t happy about it. And you know why?” He asked in a demanding way, stepping closer to you. “Because. she wasn’t. Laura. _That’s_ why.”

 

You threw the half empty can of grape soda across the room, some of it dripping onto Kirsch’s arm. “Shut up, Wilson!!”

 

“No! You need to hear this bro. You need to-“

 

“I don’t need to do anything! I’m sick of dealing with you and your stupid annoying bullshit! Get the hell out!” you point towards the door. His eyes glance behind him to where you’re pointing at and he straightens up standing his ground, his eyes pleading you to listen to him.

 

“But, Carmilla—“

 

“ _I said out God damn it_!” You screamed finally breaking. “I am _nothing_ like you and your weak, sensitive, childish heart that just _can’t_ get over your damn ex. She was a stupid naïve girl who couldn’t handle her alcohol and you’re no better than her! You’re just as much of an idiot as she was!” you shove your finger into his chest and he flinches. “The only difference is that _I’m still stuck with you and she isn’t!_ ”

 

The long silence that comes after your words is deafening. Realization hitting you once the heat of the moment drops into a bone chilling cold in a matter of seconds.

 

Shit.

 

Kirsch’s breath is shaking as he finally speaks again. “At least I’m trying to get over her. You’re the one who’s stuck on that chick from high school who was driving you so crazy you—“ you clench your jaw and he inhales deeply. He stares above blinking rapidly, his chin shaking as he tries to keep his emotions in check. “No…never mind…I’m not gonna be that guy.” He shakes his head, his eyes covered in a glaze. “Just—can you try and see what I’ve been trying to tell you…? You and Laura—“

 

You storm past him, shoving his arm out of the way as you go to open the front door. “ _GET. OUT.”_

 

His lips part as if to say something else but you only open the door wider for him to leave. You watch as he swallows, his nostrils flaring as he tries to hold back the tears you can already see begging to drop from his big gentle eyes. He nods to himself and starts picking up his things, throwing them in his back pack and storming out just like Laura did all those days ago. You slam the door behind him and lock it, heading to your room to get dressed properly and leave.

 

You can’t be in this stupid apartment on your own. Not after everything that’s happened. Everyone keeps leaving you here and you hate it. You hate feeling so fucking lonely and pathetic. You hate the way you can’t control your emotions enough to not hurt your best friends feelings.

 

When did you get so bad at being a fucking decent human being?

 

You hate yourself more than anything now. But you hate everyone else for always pushing you away. For always being right about things you can’t seem to accept until it’s too late. For always coming into your life while you mess everything up over and over again.

 

You’re sick of it.

 

You got drunk at the shitty dive bar nearby, going to the store to buy a new lock for your door. You return to your apartment with two locks and a case of beer, cursing and pinching yourself with the hammer as you try and put them up. Throwing the instructions across the room where they landed on the sticky grape soda from earlier. Flipping over one of the island stools in frustration and anger at what a pathetic mess you are. You yell as you drop the hammer and give up, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor and drinking another one of your beers. You think it’s fitting sitting on the ground while you feel like such garbage because you hurt everyone you ever care about.

 

You hurt your mother the day you shamed her. You hurt Elle the night you begged her not to leave. You hurt all those girls you’ve used for your own enjoyment. You hurt Laura for being honest and sincere and so so good to you.

 

_For loving you._

_Why would she even love you?_

 

You hurt Kirsch for having the guts to tell you the truth to your face even when you’ve done everything possible to avoid it. To not admit how you actually feel after all of this. How messed up you are over losing Laura; over letting her leave.

 

Your phone shimmed in your pocket and you whip away the stray tears that had fallen without your permission before tugging it out of your back pocket.

 

Kirsch (9:51PM): u can yell at me all u want. UNFRIEND ME EVEN! But I just have to.

 

Kirsch (9:51PM): -download image-

 

Kirsch (9:51PM): -download image-

 

Kirsch (9:51PM): -download image-

 

The notifications keep coming in, your phone shimming over and over as more pictures are received. You download them confused and curious not knowing what he would send so much of, thinking that maybe it’s him throwing everything that belongs to you out.

 

But that’s nothing close to reality.

 

You cover your mouth as the pictures load, pictures of you and Laura through out your whole time together. Some you had no idea he ever even took. You knew some of them like the one in the futon the day he was drunk over SJ. The one at the prize night for LaF’s science thing, but the other ones?

 

The other ones were something else.

 

He had pictures of you and her growing together. From the one at the zeta party with you flirting with Laura by the bar, to you sitting in his couch smiling at your phone as you texted her teasingly, from your not-date at his job of you and her smiling at each other playfully, followed by another of you taking her French fries and her mouth hanging open.

 

You laugh at that one, the sound much more watery than you’d expected and you notice that you’re actually crying now.

 

The next picture made you feel terrible, your heart sinking to your stomach. It’s one of you and her hanging out with Kirsch and her ginger friends after her first trip away. Days after you had already slept with that one girl you wish you’d never even met. And you hate how genuinely you’re smiling at Laura in the picture because how could you do that to her and still feel this way?

 

You want the pictures to stop.

 

Your phone keeps shimming as they keep coming in and it hurts. It hurts so much to see Laura again. It hurts too much to not have her anymore.

 

Another picture loads and it’s you feeding Laura a taco during one of her lunch breaks. You had run into Kirsch that day since he was the one who recommended the food truck. Laura wanted him to join you and you hate how sweet she always is to other people. You hate how you ruined everything.

 

Another chime, another image breaking your heart harder than the next. You and Laura are reading the back of some box next to a shelf and your packed kart at the supermarket. You remember the time Kirsch wanted to go grocery shopping with you but you insisted you didn’t want to go until Laura said she’d come with to help again. She was always willing to go do things with you. She was always willing to go out of her way to spent time with you even though she was always so busy, always so tired. Laura always showed up.

 

Laura was always there.

 

And you let her go.

 

You loved feeling her presence around you so much, her laugh, her caring touches. You loved her an you pushed her away because of it. Because of how scared you are to care again. Because of how scared you are to get hurt.

 

And you realize you hurt her instead. You broke Laura’s heart because you were to afraid to get your own broken. Even when she was the one who confessed she loved you first.

 

You fucked it up.

 

You always fuck everything up.

 

The pictures break you, making you sob and spill the empty beer bottles beside you. You go to the fridge and push the remaining beers you had bought away, going for Will’s heavy stuff instead. You’re a mess and you just really miss Laura Hollis so much. You really love Laura, and you hate yourself for everything you said to her. For all the lies you kept telling yourself for so long until it was too late.

 

You lost Laura Hollis.

 

And it was all your fault. You lost someone you love again and this time it was all on you. This time you feel more alone than ever.

 

You end up falling asleep dead drunk on the hardwood floor, not waking up until the sun was already going down the next day. A ton of text messages on your phone that you hadn’t heard or seen.

 

Frank (2:19PM): where are you? Is everything okay?

 

Frank (2:20PM): I’m covering for u until u get here hurry up

 

Frank (8:01PM): aaaand u didn’t show, I hope ur alright. I covered for u. u owe me some bagels and a good explanation.

 

You’re too afraid to see if Kirsch had messaged you last night after those pictures but you see you don’t have any unread messages from him. Only some from Will.

 

William (6:34AM): ey what’s up? Can you check up on kirsch, he called me last night. I think the SJ stuff got him bad again.

 

William (7:00AM): Carmilla?

 

William (7:12AM): hey answer the phone I’m serious. Is he okay?

 

 

You toss your phone aside feeling like shit both physically and emotionally. You go to try and shower your legs wobbling the whole way there. The room unbalanced and spinning and you end up stumbling towards the toilet, throwing up in instead. You spread your legs leaning your back against the wall, cursing and kicking the trash can by the toilet as you start to cry again. You’re such a fucking mess today but all you can think about is how you let Laura go. How you wish you could just drive over and knock on her door to get her back.

 

But it’s too late. Laura’s been gone for days.

 

She’s gone and you let it happen. She’s gone and you didn’t even try to stop her. You didn’t even get to admit how you felt for her which isn’t even close to what Laura deserves. Laura deserves the world and stars, the kind of love that pushes through always, the kind of love that tries.

 

Your body shakes as a breathy sob escapes your lips, your weak hand coming up to swipe your lips clean. And you rest your head against the wall, staring up at the crappy light bulb dangling from your bathroom ceiling.

 

She has to know how you feel. You have to tell her the truth even if it’s pointless. You have to try. You stare down at your phone in your clammy hands.

 

_But should you at this point?_

 

 

-

 

You’ve really been trying to do your best to ignore everything today.

 

It’s still so hard for you. Especially with all your closest friends seeing you off at the airport. LaFontaine clearly noticing how Carmilla isn’t included in the small group and looking at you worriedly. All you can do is dodge their look along with the questions they and Perry seem to finally ask you.

 

‘Where’s Carmilla?’

 

‘Missing your party was whatever but missing _this_?’

           

            ‘Laura…are you okay?’

                       

                        ‘Something totally happened…didn’t it?’

 

‘Sweetie why didn’t you say something sooner?’

           

            ‘We knew you wanted some space but… Oh, Laura…’

 

You tried dodging their questions, you tried paying attention to Betty instead as she whined and whipped a few tears away. But Betty wasn’t having it, she wasn’t going to let you use her as a distraction, not when she wanted to know the same things LaF and Perry did.

 

“It’s fine guys.” You lied and all of them saw through you so easily. You can’t handle this. Not today.

 

“Here’s your ticket and your coat, honey.” Your dad came up beside you with an extended arm. The new coat you’ve only managed to wear for the last business dinner in his hand for you to grab.

 

It makes your stomach drop.

 

But you take it. “Thanks dad.” You look between him and your friends and take a deep knowing breath. “I’m gonna miss you guys.” Your dad clicks his tongue and goes to give you a big bear hug, your friends joining in.

 

“You take care, sweetheart. Anything happens you call me alright?” he demands and you laugh pulling away from the group hug.

 

“Always dad.”

 

“Exactly. Tell Danny she’d better keep you safe.” He says pointing at you. “Or else.” He widens his eyes ass if threatening and you laugh again giving him one final hug before walking towards the TSA. You give them one final look and you didn’t think your heart could break for a second time but here you are about to crack as your loved ones wave back at you. Your dad whipping away his tears, frowning deeply as he waves.

 

The now familiar flight across the ocean is duller than all the other times. Since you refuse to watch any of the movies they offer in fear of being reminded of her again. The music in your phone only going to bring memories and feelings back that you don’t think you can handle alone. Your dad thankfully only calling to check up on how you were doing once you landed, not asking anything else from you. Danny came to pick you up as usual with a bit of more excitement than usual and you wish you could force yourself to be as happy about this as her. But you can’t. Not yet anyway. Danny must’ve noticed something was up with you but miraculously she never brought it up. She’d only bring more food for you in the mornings along with different cookies every other night. You think it’s odd especially since it’s Danny. She’s always been pretty straight forward about everything and anything and yet she hasn’t asked you a thing yet. You think Perry must’ve warned her about what you’re going through after finally piecing things together with your departure.

 

If that’s the case, you have to remember to thank her one of these days.

 

The new office is coming along nicely. Every other day you have interviews for the new workers who’s resumes your dad approved of back home. Being the boss is strange though. Not different just…strange. You think the change isn’t that drastic since you’ve been doing basically the same as you were back at the office with your dad. The strange part is probably how people treat you. Before everyone was friendly, sure but, now they seem more tense with your encounters as if afraid of you instead of open. You don’t like that so much. You’re trying to convince everyone to be afraid of Danny instead. She’s your right hand gal here which is something you’re honestly glad about. You and her have always worked so well together. A super gay team up for the win. The way she always drives you back to your rented loft is nice but nevertheless leaves you kind of lonely.

 

Having Danny around all day along with all your new coworkers is great up until you’re alone at home.

 

Home.

 

It’s been a few days and this small loft hasn’t gotten any closer to feeling like home at all. Sure, for the most part it’s still empty other than your bed and the small couch Danny lent you. Everything else is just a few boxes. You didn’t bring much from your dad’s house. Just a bunch of clothes for the cold, some pictures of you and your mom and dad, and your doctor who dvd collection. You would’ve brought your favorite pillow with you but you lost that forever.

 

You sigh, lazily sliding your shoes off before diving into your new bed. It has that new sheets smell that’s nice but unfamiliar. You blink a few times as you take it all in from where your laying and it’s all so new and—

 

You shut your eyes choosing not to look at this new world of yours, your face pressing deeper into the soft mattress.

 

Lonely.

 

You flip over choosing to sit against the headboard instead and take out your cellphone. You swipe through all your unread notifications not really caring much about anything but sending your dad a goodnight text like you’ve done every night so far.

 

Papa Bear (10:39pm): good evening ^-^

 

You snort at his use of emojis that you taught him since you communicate through text more than talking lately.

 

You’re not actually tired though but you don’t feel like talking to anyone choosing instead to go through your phone some more. You ended up going through your old pictures with friends and the office shenanigans making you nostalgic and smile until you reach the pictures of Carmilla.

 

There’s so many of them.

 

So many of her.

 

You gnaw on your lip as your hand clutches your phone harder. You inhale a determined but shaky breath and delete the first one followed by another one. Your mind is set on deleting all the pictures of her on your phone. You can’t just stay stuck on the past anymore if you plan on actually moving on. So you delete another, and another and another. Going one by one, your body feeling calm and numb from the pain you actually feel deep down. The pain you’ve been trying so hard and for so long to shove deeper and deeper away.

 

It isn’t until you get to the ones that were of you and her that it hurts you harder. Pictures of her staring at you with a smile you didn’t notice at the time. All those pictures you’d make her pose for like the ones from the award show with the rest of your friends. The way she scowled at first but teased you after. The ones you used as her contact photo before eventually loving another picture more and changing it. The ones of you and her where she’s looking at you in such a soft way that you no longer can make sense of.

 

You didn’t notice the tears rolling down your face.

 

You would hesitate to delete those pictures the most, your finger fighting your mind to press them away forever. And when you got to the really old ones, the first ones she ever sent you, you start remembering those moments more. Remembering her voice as she would greet you in her bra and a smirk. When she’d tug you inside her apartment and kiss you for so long. The way she’d playfully say things to your ear that made you giggle and blush. How you’d feel her warm skin against your own as her hands would take off your clothes. And you hadn’t noticed you’d closed your eyes, your mind subconsciously pushing you to remember everything about her, every detail of her dark yet hopeful eyes, the courses she’d take to touch you, her voice always so sultry yet sweet. Always so caring and careful. The way she had started moaning “Laura” instead of all the terms of endearment she’d call you. How she’d do it against your ear, how her body would tremble above you with the heat of the moment.

 

Your hand starts to caress it’s way down your stomach as you unconsciously start to look for her touch, mimicking what she would do in your mind.

 

But you only found yours.

 

And your mood disappeared instantly, the image of her clearer than any of the pictures left in your phone and you know that no matter how many of them you delete, you’ll never get her out of your head.

 

You squeeze your lips together along with your eyes as tears continue to stream down your cheeks into your hair. Your hand hand moving away from your bare stomach, going to your face as a sob finally escapes you.

 

You hate that you’re this weak.

 

You hate that you can’t stop thinking about her as hard as you try to. And as you cry yourself to sleep that night, you hate that you couldn’t force yourself to delete that last picture.

 

 

By the weekend you still haven’t recovered emotionally. You’ve been dozing off during your lunch with Danny. She’s been trying to explain something that happened with one of the new employees to you but you haven’t been able to force yourself to listen to her. Staring down at your food as you push it around the plate instead.

 

“Laura?” she suddenly says louder, her finger snapping in front of you and you jump so suddenly that you spill your drink over your own phone. You can’t make yourself move to try and save it, your body freezing as you realize you’ve lost the only thing you have with Carmilla in it for good. Danny takes it and tries drying it before handing it to you and you somehow manage to reach out and take your dying phone in your hands. The screen glitching as a final sign of life before slowly going dark and you can feel her leaving you. All those calls and text messages, the last picture…it’s all gone.

 

 You feel Danny rub your shoulder reassuringly. “Well…weren’t you getting a new one anyway?” you don’t answer. You feel chocked up already. “Laura?” Danny’s tone changes into worry and she kneels down beside you to look at you directly. “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have startled you.”

 

You shake your head. “It’s not your fault.” You’re surprised by your own words not realizing they even started leaving your lips.

 

“Well, don’t worry about it okay? Everything you’ve got backed up to the cloud should still be there later.”

 

“I didn’t…” you clench your teeth together trying to stop the small quiver of your chin that slipped. “Dad doesn’t trust the cloud. He didn’t want my information to be up there.”

 

“Oh.” She takes a deep breath. “Okay so that sucks.”

 

You inhale deeply, nodding. “Y-yeah…” you shake your head a bit and blink back the sting fighting to leave your eyes. “I was getting a new one anyway. Whatever.”

 

Danny pats your shoulder and you grin at her for trying to make you feel better but she couldn’t know how much this actually hurt you. “I can drive you after work. We can get you one right away! Don’t want your dad biting my head off when you can’t answer his calls am I right? Haha.”

 

You force yourself to laugh along but it comes out weak and small. Danny sits back across from you and keeps talking about things you’re supposed to hear. But you’re still not listening, staring down at your dead phone between your hands. You clutch it tightly. Who are you trying to kid?

 

You weren’t ready to let all of that go.

 

Danny accompanies you to finally change phone companies since it’d be better for you to switch to a local number. You’d been pushing it back as far as you could, feeling so attached to your old one. That’s always been your number.

 

Adulting sucks.

 

You finally got a better smart phone though against your dad’s wishes but he can’t tell you how to live your life anymore. Not from so far away anyway. Danny drives you back to the office as you go through your new phone getting familiar with it but it’s so…empty.

 

It’s literally a new life. A clean slate.

 

You sigh and tuck it away. It won’t fully work for a few more hours while they activate it anyway. Once you’re at the office using the wifi you start downloading all the main apps and personalizing your phone. What was once a wallpaper of Carmilla making a face is now a Tardis floating through time and space. The conversations completely empty. You told your dad you’d cancel your old number yourself later so you do while taking a break at work. You call your old provider and give them all the necessary information.

 

“Alright Miss Hollis! Everything is set for your cancellation. You currently have some messages on your old number. Would you like them to be deleted at this time?”

 

You furrow your brow. “What messages?”

 

“You have two unheard voicemails.”

 

“Really? How can I listen to them?”

 

“Just call your old number and press the pound button followed by your security code to listen to your voicemail.”

 

“Pound button?”

 

“The Hashtag, Miss Hollis.”

 

You shrink a bit embarrassed. “Oh, yeah. Of course it’s that one. Ummm what if I don’t know my security code?”

 

“Would you like me to get you your code?”

 

You sigh relieved. “Yes please. That be great actually.” You hear some typing on the other line for awhile.

 

“Your security code is 2243. Is there anything else I can do for you at this time?”

 

“No that’s it.”

 

“Okay Miss Hollis your voicemail will continue to work for the next 24 hours while the cancelation procedures are finished.”

 

“Okay. Thanks for all the help.”

 

“My pleasure! Have a great day and thank you for calling.”

 

You hang up and melt back into your new desk chair, your foot slightly rocking it.

 

Who could have left you a voicemail? Your dad already knew you didn’t have a working phone till now so it wasn’t him. You face palm yourself. “LaF and Perryyyy.” You’ve been in such a daze lately that you forgot to let them know about your new phone. You’ll call them later to let them know. You furrow your brow as you stare at your office phone. If it was them they would’ve called you here after trying your phone, but you don’t have any messages saved there. “Weird…”

 

You look away when you hear a notification go off on your computer. Another email to deal with. You sigh and roll towards your computer to get back to work, the curiosity over the voicemails bugging you at the back of your head. You try to focus on reading through the files stuck to the email but glance at the office phone for a second time just to be sure you don’t have any messages there and you still don’t. You sigh as Danny walks into your office.

 

“Wow, tired already?” she teases and you pout.

 

“I hate this chair. It’s too comfortable for my own good.”

 

She laughs. “I’ll be sure to get you a worse one tomorrow. Anyway I’m heading out. You want a ride?”

 

You shake your head and slouch forward resting your cheek in your hand. “Nah, I’d rather finish reading these files today so I can actually work tomorrow.”

 

“Reading files _is_ work, Laura.” She chuckles and your pout deepens.

 

“It doesn’t make me feel productive okay. Being the boss is boring and tiring.” You let your face rest against your desk. “I need some fun in my life.” You say, your voice muffled.

 

“You’re the boss. Why don’t you schedule a work party?”

 

“Oh, right. I can do that.”

 

Danny snorts. “Still got that head of yours in the clouds today.” You raise your head at that, looking at Danny a bit surprised. The tightlipped smile she’s giving you as if she knows why. “Well, I’m off! See you tomorrow Hollis.” She gives you a small wave and leaves you to keep working on your own. The saddest thing is how you wish she’d actually stayed. Danny’s your only friend here. She’s the only one you can be comfortable around and right now alone in this generally empty new office you feel pretty lonely.

 

You tuck your chin between your arms resting over your desk. You’re starting to get used to your own company but that doesn’t mean you miss your friends any less. You look over at your new phone tapping a button so the screen could light up. You notice the signal bars are working now and stare at the screen until it goes back to black. You look back at the shut door and then at your computer screen, your thumb rubbing over your own arm as if comforting yourself.

 

You can finish reading later.

 

You sit up a bit and grab your phone to start messing around with it, syncing your emails to it and going to add the contacts you know by heart only to see they’ve already been added. You look surprised but realize they must’ve synced to your email. Your dad said no syncing to the cloud not your email… you’ll just keep this to yourself. You start scrolling through the contacts to start personalizing some of them and can tell which one’s obviously missing. You switch to the keypad as you remember that number but your fingers just hover over it. You stare at the blinking line for a few seconds. It’s taunting you, waiting for you to start dialing the number down but you don’t.

 

Instead you dial your old number and press call.

 

“The number you are calling is temp-“ you press pound impatiently. “To listen to the messages please press-“ you type in your security code quickly an gnaw at your bottom lip. “You have two new messages. To play your messages press 1.” You do as your told and wait for the first message to play but you don’t hear nothing but silence and a hang up after a few seconds. You squint at the empty message. You sigh and slouch deeper into your chair.

 

“God, is it so hard to hang up before the thing is finished? Why do people do that?”

“To replay your message press 1, to delete your message press 7, to save your message press 9.”

 

You press 7 and wait for the voice to continue.

 

“Deleted. You have 1 new message.” Followed by a beep. You listen to it but the beginning is exactly the same as the other one. You grunt exasperatedly and go to press number 7 again when you hear it.

 

“Laura…” You feel your bones freeze up. Your blood suddenly getting cold. Your stomach dropping lower than you’ve ever felt it and you slowly put your new phone against your ear again. “Hey. It’s uh…It’s been awhile huh cupcake?” and you feel the air catch in your throat at the familiar nickname. A strange sensation under your ribs. You hear a sigh. “This is stupid. I don’t even know how to even start speaking to you.” You feel your eyes start to sting again like the other night. “I’m pathetic. I can’t even speak properly to the person I want to talk to the most.” There’s a nervous pause that you share with her while listening. “So how’s Europe going? Well I presume. I heard about it from Kirsch some time ago… is it what you’d hoped it’d be?...You always did like growing in your job…wanting to help out your dad and all…” There’s a long pause and you swallow pressing the phone closer to your ear. “Are…are you happy there?” A small scoff comes from your lips at the same time one does from the voicemail and the fact that she can still have that effect on you makes your heart grow even if it’s for a short time. “I’m sure you’re doing amazing. You’ve always been amazing.” She says with a breath at the end. “I would tell you I’m doing well but I’m sure you don’t care much about _that_. You know, since you must hate me now.” And you catch yourself almost saying no automatically but you stop before the words could come out. “And it’s okay it’s—it’s okay…I understand.” You hear a bitter chuckle and a watery voice come after. “I just wish I had been brave enough to have stopped it from getting to that level.” You hear what you think is her trying to compose herself and it aches your heart. “I…I miss you, Laura.” The ache quickly grows, your hand holding the phone shakes a bit.

 

You’re breaking again.

 

“And I know that’s probably not what you’d want to hear right now, but I do. And…I wish I would have known it would have been this much. I wish I would have known how much having you around meant to me. But I was a fool, and wishing for something like that only makes me an even bigger one. I know I was mean and cruel and hurtful to you…I’m sorry. I—I’m sorry I didn’t know how to give you what you wanted. No I—I’m sorry I was  _afraid_ to give you what you wanted. Afraid to take what I wanted too…I—“ her voice is quick and desperate now, a small shake in it between every few words. “I’m sorry I pushed you away when all I ever wanted was to pull you closer. I’m sorry I didn’t stop you from leaving town, from—from leaving my god damn apartment. For not stopping you in time to tell you everything I’ve ever felt for you— _feel_ for you.” You think that by the way she’s sputtering the words out quickly and the way you can hear her shaky breaths that she’s maybe crying.

 

Crying like you are right now as you gnaw on your bottom lip trying to keep it together.

 

Trying, trying  _so_ hard to keep the sobs from making their way out of your lungs and up your throat as you continue to listen. As you continue to stop yourself from breaking so hard again.

 

“Laura, I _love_ you.”

 

You let your lip go along with the first child like sob you breathe out.

 

“I love you, and I’m so  _so_ sorry it’s taken me so long to just  _tell you_ that. I’m sorry that even after all I’ve made you go through, I still have the guts to call you after so long and tell you  _now_ how much it is that I love you, because I do. I  _do_ love you _so_ ,  _so_ much. And I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry, Laura.”

 

You can’t breath properly by how hard you’re crying now, the sounds of her words coming from such a broken voice instead of her usual strong one is killing you inside. “I broke your heart and I never meant to. I let you go and I never wanted to. I want you  _back_ when I have no right to.” You wipe some of the tears streaming down your face onto your work shirt, Carmilla taking a deep steadying breath on the other side. “God, I can’t believe I left you this voicemail, I’m pathetic.” She laughs a bit between her crying. “But I needed to at least say it. I needed to at least tell you the truth. I don’t care about anyone other than you, Laura. It’s just-It’s you…” she takes a long breath. “You and no one else.”

 

“Carm-“ the name finally slips out as if she could even hear you back.

 

A sad laugh coming from the phone. “It’s probably too late anyway for this, but I couldn’t take it anymore.” A pause. “I hope you’re doing well…and…and if you’ve somehow ended up with someone else…like your knight in shining gym shorts then…I…I sincerely hope that you’re truly happy.” She stops again. “You deserve to be.” Then silence for a long moment and you think it’s over. “Bye Laura.”

 

“Don’t-” you squeeze your phone against your ear as the recorded voice comes back.

 

“End of message. You have no new messages. To replay your message press 1, to delete your message press 7, to save your message press-”

 

Your phone slips from your hand onto your desk and you let yourself finally break.

 

You miss her so fucking much.

 

You have to try.

 

-

 

You’re lazily laying on your bed, Laura’s pillow under your head as you stare at your ceiling. You’re supposed to do some extra work tonight with Frank to pay him back for helping you but you can’t seem to make yourself pick up the pace. You haven’t even been able to finish getting dressed, your pants still unbuttoned, your shoes on the ground beside your bed, the work shirt you’re meant to wear nowhere in sight. You sigh again feeling stuck to the bed as if you can’t handle your own weight to move. Will called you earlier to let you know he was coming back today, so things should be back to the way they were. You blink a few times as you realize that there’s no way that would be the case.

 

Nothings is as it was before.

 

Nothing is _normal_.

 

Still, you’re glad you’ll have some company again. This apartment was getting to you with how empty it felt. Especially since Kirsch hasn’t been around anymore. You manage to lazily move your arm and rest it above your head with a huff. You don’t know what to say to him. You were horrible. A truly terrible friend but there’s only so much apologizing you can take in one week. Your face turns sad.

 

Laura never called you back.

 

She probably didn’t even bother to hear your messages. Honestly though? You probably deserve that. You deserve how shitty your life has been lately because you’ve been nothing but the same to everyone in it.

 

And they don’t deserve that.

 

You sigh, your hand coming down to rub at your forehead from how tired you are of feeling everything so much. You should probably just get going.

 

You hear your phone chime on your bedside table so you tilt your head up to look at it. You sigh again and turn over, stretching to reach for it.

 

Unknown Number (6:33pm): Hey

 

Well that’s plain.

 

You’re about to toss your phone back to where it was when it chimes again in your hand.

 

Unknown Number (6:33pm): What are u up to?

 

You furrow your brow and scratch your temple confused.

 

Carmilla (6:34pm): depends who this is.

 

You curiously wait for a reply and it comes quickly.

 

Unknown Number (6:34pm): who do u want it to be?

 

You squint your eyes even more intrigued.

 

Carmilla (6:34pm): preferably not a stalker.

 

Unknown Number (6:34pm): I was sure you’d say ‘a blonde’ since u said that was ur usual type.

 

Unknown Number (6:34pm): I’m not blonde btw just in case. though there’s different opinions on that.

 

Okay?

 

Carmilla (6:35pm): great. so who is this again?

 

Unknown Number (6:35pm): not an old man.

 

You raise on eyebrow. Yeah, that doesn’t sound creepy at all.

 

Carmilla (6:36pm): yeah that’s exactly what an old man would say.

 

Unknown Number (6:36pm): HA!! I thought the same thing!

 

Carmilla (6:37pm): yeah…so?

 

Unknown Number (6:36pm): so??

 

Carmilla (6:37pm): Jesus, so who are you? Do I even know you?

 

Unknown Number (6:37pm): pff oh u know me alright.

 

Unknown Number (6:37pm): like waaaay closely if u know what I mean.

 

Your eyes widen realizing this must be someone you once had sex with. How did they get your number? Where you that wasted at the time?

 

Carmilla (6:38pm): Oh.

 

Carmilla (6:38pm): yeah I get it but no thanks.

 

Unknown Number (6:39pm): ???? JUST LIKE THAT???

 

Carmilla (6:39pm): I’m not interested. Sorry.

Unknown Number (6:40pm): how come?

 

You let that message stick for a few moments sighing as you re read it because you know why. Even if the two of you aren’t together anymore. You know it’s because of Laura. You don’t know why you feel the need to reply but you type back.

 

Carmilla (6:48pm): Not into most girls anymore.

 

You close the message app and stretch your arm to put your phone where it was.

 

Another chime surprises you.

 

Unknown Number (6:48pm): “I’m not like most girls.”

 

You stare at the message a bit perplexed. Why the quotation marks? You move yourself so that you’re sitting up on your bed.

 

Carmilla (6:49pm): um…okay? that doesn’t matter.

 

Unknown Number (6:49pm): but I thought u were really into me.

 

You scoff.

 

Carmilla (6:50pm): yeah well things change. Sorry.

 

Carmilla (6:51pm): Are you even sure you’ve got the right number? I still don’t know who you are, sorry.

 

Unknown Number (6:52pm): I’m sure.

 

Unknown Number (6:52pm): believe me I tried to forget it.

 

You furrow your brow again.

 

Carmilla (6:53pm): that bad huh? I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything at the time. My mistake.

 

Carmilla (6:53pm): but I’m not really looking for anyone so yeah.

 

Unknown Number (6:54pm): u told me once to text u back if I was still down to have some fun..

 

Unknown Number (6:55pm): and I thought u only did ‘fun’. That’s the message I got from u awhile back anyway…

 

Carmilla (6:56pm): Well I don’t. So stop texting me and go catch somebody else. Goodbye.

 

You send a bit aggressively because her words hurt you harder than they should because they were true. They used to be anyway but not anymore. You’d really rather not have a reminder of how shitty you were but she texts you back again and you huff through your nose a bit upset.

 

Unknown Number (6:57pm): I can’t…I uh..I don’t really want anyone else. So…yeah. I think ur stuck with me.

 

“Stuck with you?” you angrily say back to yourself.

 

Carmilla (6:58pm): yeah I don’t think so. Delete my # and leave me alone okay. I’m not interested.

 

Unknown Number (6:58pm): wow Carm ur super harsh.

 

Your angrily furrowed brow suddenly relaxes and raises as you read over that last message again and again.

 

Carm.

 

You fumble with your phone typing as fast as you could.

 

Carmilla (6:58pm): wait  laura?!? is thwt you?!?

 

The reply doesn’t come as fast as the other ones did. Your heart beating insanely fast in your chest as you keep staring at your phone wistfully.

 

Unknown Number (7:00pm): …

 

Carmilla (7:00pm): ???? please answer me.

 

Unknown Number (7:01pm): I thought u never remembered the girls u did stuff with.

 

Okay, that stings.

 

Carmilla (7:01pm): you said it yourself. You’re not like most girls.

 

You reply with a sad smile on your face because of course she’s not.

 

Unknown Number (7:02pm): yeah well that didn’t seem to matter.

 

Carmilla (7:02pm): it does I swear it does.

 

Carmilla (7:03pm): did you…uh..did you get my messages?

 

Unknown Number (7:08pm): I did.

 

Unknown Number (7:08pm): I mean I think I did. I got a new phone. Did u text me?

 

Carmilla (7:09pm): no.

 

Carmilla (7:09pm): I didn’t want to push you.

 

Your fingers hesitate to write what you want to ask.

 

Carmilla (7:10pm): is the new phone my fault?

 

You wait for the reply and swallow hard when it doesn’t come right away.

 

Carmilla (7:11pm): I didn’t mean to bother you, I swear.

 

Unknown Number (7:15pm): no, it wasn’t.

 

Unknown Number (7:16pm): u didn’t bother me.

 

Carmilla (7:18pm): so what now?

 

Unknown Number (7:18pm): what now..?

 

Carmilla (7:19pm): yeah. How are you?

 

Unknown Number (7:20pm): less cold that this morning.

 

Carmilla (7:20pm): you know what I mean..

 

Unknown Number (7:22pm): …I’m okay I guess.

 

Unknown Number (7:22pm): can’t really change that so easily.

 

Carmilla (7:23pm): I’m sorry.

 

Unknown Number (7:23pm): yeah, I heard.

 

You stare at the keypad not really knowing what else to say to her. What would count as the right words anymore with Laura? How are you supposed to talk to her now?

 

Unknown Number (7:25pm): u suck u know that?

 

Carmilla (7:25pm): I’m aware.

 

Carmilla (7:25pm): I really am sorry Laura.

 

Unknown Number (7:26pm): well u have a pretty shitty way of showing it Carm

 

Unknown Number (7:26pm): first via voicemail, now via text. I mean a letter would’ve at least had some deep handwritten value you know!

 

That you know to be true.

 

Carmilla (7:27pm): I didn’t have your new address!

 

Unknown Number (7:27pm): uh huh.

 

Carmilla (7:28pm): how can I prove it to you?

 

Carmilla (7:28pm): how sorry I am I mean.

 

Carmilla (7:28pm): I’ll fly over to you if you’ll let me. I swear.

 

You quickly stand up and start rummaging through your drawers looking for your goddamn passport. You know it’s somewhere in this room, hopefully not expired. If it is, you’ll go get a new one right now. You’d do it if it meant getting Laura back somehow. No matter what the costs for such sudden travelling is. Your phone chimes and you immediately stop what you’re doing and dive back into your bed, snatching your phone and clutching it in your hands.

 

Unknown Number (7:31pm): that’s really not necessary.

 

Carmilla (7:31pm): it is to me. I’ll do it if it means even the slightest chance I can make things right again.

 

Carmilla (7:32pm): please just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it Laura.

 

Carmilla (7:32pm): I’ll leave right now

 

Unknown Number (7:33pm): please don’t do that!!

 

You worry your lip, your chest hurting a bit.

 

Carmilla (7:33pm): Laura…

 

Carmilla (7:34pm): please, just hear me out in person okay? That’s all I ask

 

Carmilla (7:34pm): I’ll drop everything okay just please let me try

 

Unknown Number (7:35pm): no seriously please don’t

 

Carmilla (7:35pm): why?

 

You connect the dots and it’s the biggest hit to your ego yet.

 

Carmilla (7:36pm): oh, are you seeing someone else?

 

Carmilla (7:36pm): I didn’t mean to intrude…I’m sorry…

 

Unknown Number (7:37pm): that’s not it

 

Your chest untightens again, a small crack of hope seeping through.

 

Unknown Number (7:37pm): can u just…give me like 10 minutes?

 

You look at the time on the top right corner and remember you have to go help Frank at 9.

 

Carmilla (7:38pm): of course.

 

You sit up on your bed, your legs dangling off the side as you hold your phone in your lap. You sigh letting your head sink forward. You nervously wait for Laura to text you back, time ticking by slower than usual. You click on the number and add it to Laura’s old contact, her old contact picture syncing and coming up on your screen. You sigh again as you stare at it remembering what it was like to see it popping up all the time before. Your phone chimes as you stared at the image and your eyes quickly widen, quickly looking for the new message.

 

Laura (7:47pm): where are u right now, like exactly?

 

Carmilla (7:47pm): alone in my room.

 

Carmilla (7:47pm): I didn’t mean for that to sound like a seductive invite or anything I promise.

 

Laura (7:47pm): carm -.-

 

Carmilla (7:48pm): I didn’t! ugh never mind just ignore that.

 

Carmilla (7:48pm): what I meant is that I’m free if you want to talk right now.

 

Laura (7:48pm): I do.

 

Nothing comes after that so you type in a reply.

 

Carmilla (7:49pm): should I call you or…?

 

Laura (7:49pm): pff no.

 

You’re confused.

 

Carmilla(7:49pm): ????

 

Laura (7:50pm): did you not read how I said voicemails and messages aren’t as meaningful?

 

Laura (7:50pm): well phone call is totally included there.

 

You scratch the back of your head unsure what she wants you to do.

 

Carmilla (7:51pm): does this mean you want me to go over there then?

 

Laura (7:51pm): no

 

You lean forward, your free hand raising in the air in confusion. “What? I am so lost right now.”

 

Laura (7:52pm): that’d suck since I’m kind of already here.

 

“Here? As in town? Or-” you hear a knock on your front door that interrupts your train of thought. Your heart stopping as you look towards the outside of your room through the doorframe. You dash forward almost stumbling and start to quickly unlock the new door locks you had installed after Kirsch.

 

You basically yank the door open to find her standing there like she did so many times before. You let out a harsh breath. She looks a bit different. Her clothes more professional that the ones she’d usually wear. Some boot like heels you’ve never seen her wear before along with long dark blue pants, a white button up tucked into them, two buttons at the top undone showing some of the freckles on her skin, that long new coat she had gotten covering the rest of her body. Her hair seems a bit darker too but maybe that’s just you after not seeing her for so long.

 

You’re both standing there, dumbfounded by the sight of each other. Laura’s the first to snap out of it, raising her new phone with a tight lipped smile before putting it away in her coat.

 

“Laura.” you want to just step forward and touch her but you hold yourself back.

 

“Did you mean it?” she asks and you take a second to try and catch on to what she might mean. You nod.

 

“I did.” She looks down and away from you, slightly nodding to herself too. It’s quiet for a few moments after that, neither of you having attempted to move from where you stand. She won’t look directly at you though while you instead can’t seem to look at anything but her in front of you. You swallow, taking a small step to adjust your footing. “Do…do you want me to say-” Laura quickly looks up, her familiar big brown eyes stopping you before more words could start spewing from your mouth. You can practically feel your heart as it’s banging against your ribcage now. You get lost in those eyes longer than you probably should have considering how things are right now.

 

How could you have ever let her leave?

 

Laura suddenly blinks a few times, looking to the side and away from your stare. She exhales through her nostrils harshly, her lips bunching up as if she’s trying to hold something back but she looks directly at you and you take a deep breath at how powerful a simple look can be.

 

“…Do you want me to s-” You were about to go back to rambling about what she asked you when she lunges forward interrupting you first with a kiss and it’s just one and it’s rough but it’s everything you’ve missed and more so you feel yourself melt into it. Her lips leave yours but she doesn’t step out of your space. You slowly open your eyes to find hers locked on your lips. “-to say it?” you finally finish and Laura takes a deep breath shaking her head after she finally exhales. You feel the uncertainty in the gesture but Laura still goes to grab your face anyway, gently pulling you into another kiss, this one much softer. When her lips part from yours her grip is still tight on you as if she’s afraid you would somehow go. “I’ll say it.”

 

“You don’t have to.” She shakes her head and you stop her by pushing your forehead against hers. Her eyes close at the contact and she inhales sharply.

 

“I love you.” you say anyway before your lips brush against hers as you go to kiss her again. Her hands leave your face, quickly going to the back of your head pulling you closer as if it was possible. The gesture forces you both to deepen the kiss into a bruising one but you don’t care. Your arms finally wrapping tightly around her body as you try and pull her eve closer. When you finally pull away you see Laura’s suitcase on the side of the door. “Wait, did you just get here?”

 

Laura follows your eyes and looks at her suitcase as well. “I took a cab from the airport, so…” she gestures to her bag with a huffed smile. “I didn’t really think that through.”

 

“So you’re staying?”

 

“…I don’t know…I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. Maybe..?” she sighs. “It depends. I can leave it out here while we talk-”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Laura looks back at you as you stare intently into her eyes. “Leave it here.” She gives you a confused look and you shake your head with a big smiles, grabbing Laura’s hands. “Move in with me.”

 

“Wait, what??” You give her an honest look along with a genuine loving smile. “You’re serious?” you nod and you see a smile start to form on her lips too. “But I—but you just—I didn’t think you’d really—“

 

“Move in with me.” You simply repeat interrupting her, and her body deflates as she huffs out a relieved smile.

 

“Really…?” You see her eyes starting to get watery and you nod again, your smile widening because you wouldn’t have it any other way. You want to be with her for sure. Laura giggles giddily before suddenly changing into a bunched up face and taking her hands away from yours, crossing them over her chest. “You can’t just do that. That’s not fair.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because we haven’t fixed anything!” her arms flail around as she starts her rambling. “You can’t just look at me like that and kiss me!”

 

“You were the one who kissed me first. I was being absolutely respectful!”

 

“Well yeah but how was I not supposed to!? You were standing right there with those sad puppy eyes in a friggin’ bra of all things!” she gestures to you and you look down at yourself realizing you never finished getting dressed.

 

“Okay. That’s fair.”

 

“Exactly! And you just go and leave me a stupid voicemail telling me all these friggin’ things when I couldn’t even say anything back because it was a stupid recording! It was practically mocking me!”

 

“Well you weren’t answering!”

 

“Uh, yeah, because my phone was dead you ding dong!”

 

You scoff and let your arms drop to your sides lazily. “How was I supposed to know that?! It’s not like we’d been talking!”

 

“Yeah well who’s fault is that, huh!?” she stares pointedly at you and your jaw hangs open as you try to come up with a reply.

 

“You—well you were the one who just came and dropped a bomb on me out of nowhere! How was I supposed to know how to react!”

 

“By literally telling me anything else rather than how you maybe sort of cheated on me!”

 

“I didn’t!” She crosses her arms over her chest again, giving you another pointed look. “Okay, I accept that it was my mistake but we weren’t technically together.” You say instead much calmer.

 

Laura’s lips are pressed so tightly together that you’re worried she’s going to leave you again.

 

“I get that, it’s just…” she sighs, the heat of the moment winding down faster than it began. She looks at the ground, some of her hair draping forward hiding some of her face. “I wish you would’ve at least let me know sooner.”

 

You watch her suddenly shrink into herself because of you. You sigh deeply and take a step towards her, your hand reassuringly on her arm. “Hey…I know. I’m sorry about that, okay? It was stupid of me.”

 

She looks at you with her worried eyes and you hate that all you can do is try and reassure her.

 

“I was drunk and stupid and trying not to think about you by proving a point to myself and it backfired instantly. Ask Kirsch. I was a mess, I felt like literal shit about the whole thing. I still do okay it’s haunted me ever since it happened.” She holds herself by her elbows and you can see the gears in her head turning.

 

“Why would you do that to try and not think about me?” she says lowly almost like a sad whisper. You swallow and look down.

 

“Because I don’t do so great with the whole feelings thing and I was getting scared with how attached to you I was actually getting.” She gives you a worried look and you try and dismiss it. “It’s stupid, I know.”

 

“It’s not.” She says uncrossing her arms but then tilting her head. “I mean it is but it’s not.” You laugh at that and she smiles at you. One of her hands grabbing onto your forearm. “Hey just…just don’t do that again please.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

“It kinda sucked.” You giver her an apologetic look and she gives you another tight lipped smile. “I mean if you ever want to, like please tell me first or something, don’t just do that stuff behind my back. Let me get ready or leave at least.”

 

“I won’t do it again, Laura. I promise.”

 

She looks down again slightly nodding and taking a step closer to grab your other arm. Both her hands sliding down to hold your wrists gently as you watch her just exist right before your eyes again.

 

How could you have hurt her so much?

 

“Hey.” You say, pulling one of your hands away to caress her cheek. She looks directly at you again much more easily than before and it fills your heart with so much love and hope that she’s actually here. “You’re the only one that I want now. Believe me, I’m pretty sure.” You huff out a smile and tuck some of the hairs that had fallen back behind her ear. Her eyes travel down to your lips again, a small grin forming on hers and you can only mirror it. She pulls you into another kiss and this one comes much more naturally to the both of you. Hands not being controlled by fears but instead by a want that you’ve both clearly had to be with one another again.

 

Laura takes the final step forward, her body pressing against yours as you kiss sloppily from how much desire is there. You force yourself to pull away to grab her suitcase and pull it along with her inside. “Come on.” And Laura’s all smiles now like she used to be and she keeps kissing you while you try to pull her suitcase in and lock the door. When you’re done you turn fully towards her and quickly take a step forward to kiss her desperately. “God I’ve missed you.” you say between the kiss. “I’m so sorry, I’m such a fucking idiot.” Another kiss. “I love you.” she pulls you closer, the feel of her finger tips already burning against your skin. “I love you so freaking much.” And Laura just keeps smiling into the kisses not stopping to hear you out. You press your forehead against hers, your eyes almost shut. “Is that weird?..” She finally stops and you think Laura struggles to not smile as wide as she can.

 

“No.” She kisses you again tenderly and now you’re the one who smiles against her lips.

 

“I love you.” you can’t stop saying it enough to her. You should’ve said it so long ago. “God I swear every time I say it I can’t breath properly.” Laura smiles, breaking apart from you as she fails to keep a chuckle in.

 

“Are you saying _I take your breath away_?” she jokes and you glare at her as she starts laughing more freely now. God you missed that sound. You turn her around and push her towards the door as she fails to get a hold of herself.

 

“Never mind go back to Europe.” You fake.

 

“No!” she whines and manages to turn herself around still smiling joyously. “I love you too.” You were ready to keep joking with her when she caught you by surprise and you must look like a deer in headlights. Your body seems to be completely frozen or numb with that. So she pulls you by your waistband, wrapping her arms around your neck to pull you into a loving and happy kiss that finally brings you back to her. “Gosh it really is hard to breath when you finally say that.” You’re the one that laughs this time making Laura giggle. She presses her forehead against yours and you close your eyes at the touch. “But I do. I do love you.” she pecks you on the lips. “You asshole.” The two of you snort. “It’s totally worth not breathing properly.”

 

“I can get into a few other ways that can make that happen.” Laura smacks your shoulder. “Too soon?” your smirk widens when you notice Laura’s blushing. And you love how you still have that effect on her.

 

“…We’ll work our way up to that again.” She says a bit shyly. You nod and go in for a sweet kiss, one much softer than you’re used to but exactly what you love with Laura. You pull her face closer, both of your hands on each side of her head pressing her face more into yours, her soft warm cheeks squishing lightly at the gesture. You feel her hands lightly hold onto your wrists as you hold her steady, they slide down your forearms before gently resting on your bare hips as she tilts her head changing the kiss, deepening it hungrily. You feel your stomach flex at the sudden change of pace, her hands seeming to notice the movement and tugging harder at your hips. You stay like that for a while, lost in the ongoing blissful kiss Laura’s giving you as if neither of you want to part ways any time soon. She suddenly sucks on your bottom lip causing you to shiver while she slightly pulls away to stare at you. Her eyes dark with desire but filled with lovingness. You can’t help but get lost in this girl like so many times before and she smiles when she notices how long you’re staring. Your hands brush through her hair caringly as if careful not to harm her in anyway and her smile leaves, the blush on her face growing into a deeper shade of pink. You rest your hands on her waist mirroring her for a moment, her fingers gently brushing your skin rhythmically as she watches continues to watch every detail of you. Your fingertips gently brush her lower back making their way down over her pants, your hands tucking in her back pockets as she smiles again. You smirk at her and gently squeeze her ass causing her to actually giggle this time. “You’ve always had a thing for that.”

 

“For what?” you act innocent.

 

“My butt.”

 

Your smirk widens. “That’s not the only thing about you that I adore.” You tease brushing your nose against hers and she giggles again.

 

“Huh. Really?” she teases playfully back and you bite your lip as you smile, your nose brushing over her cheek before your lips hover over hers and she’s the one that initiates the kiss this time. It’s slow but intense and open mouthed. Her hands finally travelling up your bare back caressing over your bra strap tenderly. You take a step forward and she takes one back as if wanting you to lead her along so you do, you start guiding her back towards your couch and her hands leave you for a moment so she can slip her coat off, dropping it aside somewhere on the ground. Her hands return to your back, this time scratching lightly more eager that before and the sudden sensation makes you stumble a bit as you continue to guide her. She giggles pulling away enough to turn and see where you’re headed and back at you. “Seriously, the couch?”

 

You remember the first time she said those words. The first time the two of you had met. The first time you’d fallen victim to Laura’s soft touch. 

 

The first time a girl had gotten you so lost in her.

 

You nod and Laura doesn’t seem to argue this time and you think she sees the moment too.

 

The two of you refuse to stop kissing and it makes Laura nearly stumble down onto your futon, one of her hands going behind her to catch herself as you push her further down to rest on top of her. Your warm body pressing against Laura’s mostly clothed one but you can tell every shape of her underneath it all, you can feel it pressing back, tugging you closer hungrily. This time her hands are the ones that go to your ass pulling your hips closer to hers and you smirk against her lips, teasing her as you lick her bottom lip causing her to gasp. You pull back enough to see her watching you, her chest rising and falling more noticeably now. You press your lips to her cheek and kiss her, then again against her jaw near her ear, another one down her neck and she exhales deeply under you. You leave open mouthed kisses on her neck, your hands working to untuck her button up shirt from her waistband. You feel her hands slip under your pants instead tugging at your ass over your underwear and the movement makes you press against her. You feel the way she instantly lifts her hips at the sudden touch and god you missed everything about her. You bite down on her neck, sucking lightly enough to leave a mark and her head moves slightly to give you more space. You nuzzle your nose against her neck and up to the hair behind her ear. You let yourself slowly grind down on her again a harsh breath leaving her lips and you push yourself up enough to hover over her, her hair tussled, her shirt messily bunched up as part of her bra peaked over the top. You let your hands go under her shirt through the bottom, brushing up her abdomen slowly as you try to feel the skin you’ve been wanting for so long. She licks her lips watching you hungrily and you move your hands out to tug at the top of her shirt in question. She nods and you start to unbutton it, spreading it open to reveal the warm skin underneath and the sight makes your lungs malfunction for a moment. You finger tips brush over the new skin and her hands move to mirror you as she touches your bare stomach before caressing upward towards your breasts. She tugs at your bra and the gesture turns you on way more that it should. You watch her, waiting for her to finally touch you. She tugs harder at your bra but it’s not to move it aside, instead to pull you down towards her again. You crash your mouth against hers, her tongue brushing over your lips as you finally give way deepening the kiss between ragged breaths.

 

And you’re desperate now.

 

You’re so desperate to be with Laura again. To dive into everything she has to offer and you to give. You wrap your arms underneath her and around her waist pulling her as close to you as you can because you love her. You love having her as close as you can to you. That’s when you hear one of the locks opening and freeze, looking dazed into Laura’s equally dazed eyes. The door fails to open thanks to the new lock with the chain you had installed and you hear him cursing.

 

“Dude, what the fuck?” Will struggles to open the door shoving it lightly and you smile down at Laura as she smiles widely at you. “Kitty?! Kitty when did we get another lock??” you both laugh this time and Will grunts. “Hey, come on open up! I can hear you laughing you know!”

 

“We’re busy.” You finally reply staring down lovingly at Laura as she bites down on her bottom lip.

 

“Well open up so I can get my shit in my room!”

 

“Can’t. Lock the door and comeback later.” Laura cackles under you and you caress her cheek.

 

“What has got you so busy that you can’t open the fucking door!”

 

“Love making.” Laura swats at your bicep making you cackle this time.

 

“Come on! You’re supposed to put a sock on the door or something! Let me in!” You quickly take off one of your socks and throw it at the wall next to the door. Diving back down to kiss Laura again. Will groans louder. “FINE! But you owe me a meal!” He angrily shuts the door and you chuckle against Laura’s lips getting back into the moment. And you love the way Laura sighs into the kiss. The way she still smells like that vanilla shampoo you’ve grown so obsessed with. The sounds she makes when you start to slowly grind down on her again as your lips brush over her ear.

 

And you finally feel like you’re home again. Like you have everything you’ll ever need as Laura’s hands sneak under your bra to cup at your breasts.

 

She smiles against your lips as her hands squeeze your breasts for the first time making you whimper already. And you think to yourself as she sits up to kiss you harder as you straddle her like you have so many times before,

 

 That tonight’s gonna be a  _long_ night.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely support, it's meant the world to me you guys could never even imagine. I hope you enjoyed Strangers as much as I enjoyed writing it for all of you! Besos puertoriqueños pa ustedes! <3


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